My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit

I regret that somehow things might have been different in so many ways. I would. I loved hearing his voice. He said and I said, I love you. thanks

Last Edited by rewind on 01/21/2023 08:33 PM

Have it your way. You’re going to regret it.

Oh i have forgiven him. I had to its all I have left and really still don't know I will ever see him again.

Done and done. Ty cm

Soul food is always good

:)

Oh rewind I am sorry you have been hurt so much by your father. How long has it been since you've seen him?

We have to walk the talk - if you believe in forgiveness - this is the biggest test of all.

Please go and see him. We'll be with you in spirit!

You have nothing to lose.

He came to see me in the hospital in December 1983.

His wife died the same day this December as last I saw him. Strange and peculiar. Thank you Sloane.

Go and be kind and loving. He may need to hear that you forgive him. He may need someone to handle his estate once he passes.

so much to go on. i'll get back to you.

Go see him.

You're stronger than all that!

why not? you can learn a lot about your mother and father. You may not get another chance, and it will show him your an adult not afraid of the past. You can always leave if it get's to heavy.

My friend I'm helping out just said screw him. You didn't like his wife. Make him come here. Then he goes where is he? Florida?


What a pos. I say friend with the utmost sarcasm possible at all in. Life on any given day.

It's resolved with forgiveness on all our parts. We still have a chance.

I am. I'm going. If it becomes possible?

I would go see him !! ... I would give just about anything in this world for an afternoon with my pops !!

What do you have to lose? it will either re-validate your estrangement or be a pathway to resolving differences and healing your relationship. Hopefully the second outcome.

OP, I would visit.

When my mother died, my dad got so lonely he stopped taking care of himself and want eating good.

He started coming over to my apartment because he was so lonely and often he would fall asleep, I guess he got so much relief from being around me that he could relax.

I eventually moved into his home, took care of him for 20 years and inherited everything.

*wasn't eating good

This!

And he wants to see you… you already forgave him, maybe he wants to ask for forgiveness… go visit him, do it for you.

What do you mean if it becomes possible?

To where?

My father disowned both me and my bother, or rather there was no communication. I tried very hard to have a relationship with for years, but nothing.

I found he had died over a month after he passed. An attorney contacted my mother, asking for me and my brothers phone numbers, because my dad had remember us in his will.

I will tell you sister, I would've given that money up in a heartbeat, just to have been able to talk to him again....just one more time.


I'm thinking you're getting my point.....

Life can be complicated.

I had a friend that after his father remarried, his new wife would not allow her husband to have anything to do with his adult kids ( She was crazy )After 25+ years of marriage my friends dad invited his son to visit a lake cabin ( 2nd home ) he had for a one day visit. His wife threatened to change the locks on his primary home and lock him out on his return if he allowed his son to visit that lake cabin.

Sure enough on his return my friends dad was locked out and was the start of his divorce.

The lake cabin neighbors later told me she soon after drove her car 3+ hours to that lake house, backed her car in, took out a neighbors porch in the process the filled her trunk with Azaleas and yelled something about her husband was getting the cabin but not the shrubs...

You never know the hell and crazy demands a crazy spouse can require someone to do.

OP perhaps your Dad had little control when his wife was alive? She is gone I would go see him...

Go and do everything you can do for him. You will be so very glad you forgave him and loved him. One day the world will repay you. Go. Do it all. Be admirable beyond reason. Go.

Very good point. Maybe she was more of a prison warden than the love of his life.

This story is really touching. I'm disowned due to my father's current wife. I'm pretty sure he would reach out to me if she passed. Especially since your father apologized - that's a big deal (reconnect if you feel called to do so).

Just don't be surprised when you have some really strong mixed emotions after spending time with him. Realize that none of those emotions needs to be 'fixed', let them all co-exist. It is what it is. Parent/child relationships are deep stuff.