My dad's wife died in December and now he has invited me to come visit | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 76063880 United States 01/21/2023 05:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Woogy
User ID: 81027077 United States 01/21/2023 05:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 82029955 Canada 01/21/2023 05:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If someone is reaching out because they are in pain, it's your duty as a loving spirit to connect with them. That doesn't mean that you don't put in boundaries, but we won't survive if we don't form connections when it's hard. |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 15766710 United States 01/21/2023 06:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Maybe you can take him out to eat or have a nice meal with him. It's really hard when someone has had a partner for many years, and suddenly they are alone. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 85131305 United States 01/21/2023 06:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. You only get one dad. Hope yall can work things out. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80005299 Canada 01/21/2023 06:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. Go see him make your peace. Life is short. |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If someone is reaching out because they are in pain, it's your duty as a loving spirit to connect with them. That doesn't mean that you don't put in boundaries, but we won't survive if we don't form connections when it's hard. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 82029955 I agree and he did apologize for not being a good father. He is hurting. They were together a long time |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yes and praying for God to show me the way. Thank you |
Eyeball Replacement
User ID: 79903136 United States 01/21/2023 06:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Do you want to open yourself up to possibly getting hurt all over again? In the eye of the storm ... |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. You only get one dad. Hope yall can work things out. Thank you. I missed hearing his voice my whole life. It is kind of heartbreaking. |
Anonymous User ID: 85138602 01/21/2023 06:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Different and probably unpopular perspective. Sounds like he put her before his kid/s. He will do it again with someone else and some point. Quoting: Eyeball Replacement Do you want to open yourself up to possibly getting hurt all over again? He is almost 90 years old. I don't think so. She was the love of his life. |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. Go see him make your peace. Life is short. |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I would say yes... when my grandfather, my father and my brother were all in positions in life where they didn't have anyone, it was a big comfort to them to have someone around that cared for them. I would invite my dad and my brother over for Thanksgiving and cook for them. I know it really filled a hole in their lives until they moved on to have significant others. Quoting: *SaintIn Maybe you can take him out to eat or have a nice meal with him. It's really hard when someone has had a partner for many years, and suddenly they are alone. I agree. Our mutual acquaintance said he is like a lost puppy . |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 85129394 United States 01/21/2023 06:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Quoting: Anonymous Coward 85129394 Thank you. I feel the way will open up. |
Avenger1
User ID: 82657037 United States 01/21/2023 06:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 75225977 United States 01/21/2023 06:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 76063880 United States 01/21/2023 06:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. Thats rough But as a widower myself, I can tell you he needs the love of his children now more than ever. Its up to you whether he dies alone and broken hearted or not. You have the opportunity to be the bigger person. Put the past behind you and begin a relationship with your father again. The past can't hurt you, unless you let it. And I just made myself cry |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80781216 Ireland 01/21/2023 06:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 82942180 United States 01/21/2023 06:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I would say yes... when my grandfather, my father and my brother were all in positions in life where they didn't have anyone, it was a big comfort to them to have someone around that cared for them. I would invite my dad and my brother over for Thanksgiving and cook for them. I know it really filled a hole in their lives until they moved on to have significant others. Quoting: *SaintIn Maybe you can take him out to eat or have a nice meal with him. It's really hard when someone has had a partner for many years, and suddenly they are alone. I agree. Our mutual acquaintance said he is like a lost puppy . IF YOU HAVE Q'S YOU WANT OR 'HAVE TO BE ANSWERED'... ASK THEM FIRST FROM A DISTANCE..IT MAY BE WHAT IS BEST. BUT, I SENSE HE'S NOT LONG FOR THIS EARTH..SO, DECIDE IF YOU HAVE TO HAVE THOSE ANSWERS. BEST WISHES, CAPMAN. |
gamecock
User ID: 71009704 United States 01/21/2023 06:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74620065 United States 01/21/2023 06:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. Thats rough But as a widower myself, I can tell you he needs the love of his children now more than ever. Its up to you whether he dies alone and broken hearted or not. You have the opportunity to be the bigger person. Put the past behind you and begin a relationship with your father again. The past can't hurt you, unless you let it. And I just made myself cry Perfect recipe for grace. Thank you and dry your eyes. I will let you know my successful visit. It's in the making and will be detailed to accomplish this, but with all the good will I feel in this thread, I'm more hopeful then ever. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 84181513 United States 01/21/2023 06:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Alpacalips
User ID: 11370809 United States 01/21/2023 07:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 85131455 United States 01/21/2023 07:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So you didn't attend her funeral? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76063880 There must be more to the story you're leaving out She was his life partner. She did not marry him with children. It estranged us from father daughter. That is the first time my father called. No one told me she died until I spoke with mutual acquaintance and it was a month or so after her passing. I called and gave my condolences. A few weeks later he invited me ... Never was invited before and I wasn't going to disturb his world. No, he made his choices, and basically deserted his flesh and blood. Now he he’s lonely, and thinks he can waltz into your life again. Sounds like a selfish prick to me. Cut him out of your life without mercy. Nothing good will come of doing otherwise. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 82942180 United States 01/21/2023 07:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I would say yes... when my grandfather, my father and my brother were all in positions in life where they didn't have anyone, it was a big comfort to them to have someone around that cared for them. I would invite my dad and my brother over for Thanksgiving and cook for them. I know it really filled a hole in their lives until they moved on to have significant others. Quoting: *SaintIn Maybe you can take him out to eat or have a nice meal with him. It's really hard when someone has had a partner for many years, and suddenly they are alone. I agree. Our mutual acquaintance said he is like a lost puppy . IF YOU HAVE Q'S YOU WANT OR 'HAVE TO BE ANSWERED'... ASK THEM FIRST FROM A DISTANCE..IT MAY BE WHAT IS BEST. BUT, I SENSE HE'S NOT LONG FOR THIS EARTH..SO, DECIDE IF YOU HAVE TO HAVE THOSE ANSWERS. BEST WISHES, CAPMAN. |
nutmeg
User ID: 76388104 United States 01/21/2023 07:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
rewind
(OP) Militant Bitch User ID: 74871365 United States 01/21/2023 08:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You don't have to do it for him, but do it for you. Someday, when he is gone, you will wish you had made peace with him. It will be good for your soul. I wish you all the best. Quoting: gamecock My sentiments exactly. I am also dealing with a similar situation. I forgive him. Trust your gut, OP. Forgive yes. Thank you sweet glp This place has been such a part of my life, I just recently realized. Huge glp effect :) |