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| 05:23 AM | ||
| Users Online Now: 1,416 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 476,685 | |
| Pageviews Today: 613,410 | Threads Today: 184 | Posts Today: 2,159 |
| 05:23 AM | ||
How do you get rid of a man? | |
Butch DeFeo
 User ID: 80788608  United States08/25/2021 07:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If you're staying in a situation, then that means you want it, yourself. Last Edited by Butch DeFeo on 08/25/2021 07:01 PM :DOCSRBAFFLED::redblueLED::DONTBEAPANDEMICS: Only you can stop the fake pandemic for yourself, no one will ever tell you the pandemic is over. It's time to WIN. |
| muckuh
User ID: 75524480 United States08/25/2021 07:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 07:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Anyway it sounds like you can't even afford to live on your own OP? Quoting: ^TrInItY^ Maybe best to move back in with your mother or something if possible? Do you own the place together or just rent? Joint bank accounts? 12 years is a long time to live with someone... It's a pain in the ass to separate yourself from someone you've been with so long. I don't know your particular situation but it sorta sounds like you love the guy but can't deal with who he really is... Odds are you're pretty fucked up yourself though and maybe you're lucky he's stayed with and supported you this long... -shrug- I don't know your real situation.... Honestly though, if you can't handle your shit, you can't handle your shit.... Sounds to me, like you can't handle your shit. :) He never supported me, quite the opposite. But you're right, I can't handle my shit. |
| muckuh
User ID: 75524480 United States08/25/2021 07:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | We have kids. I tried the restraining order in the past, child services got involved. They're not bothering us anymore, and I'd like to stay under their radar these days cuz I don't trust them. Quoting: SallyValentine Oh you're fucked for life then. You ain't gonna get rid of a baby daddy.... He's going to be involved in your life, forever. lol Better learn to co-exist or enter the world of the single mother looking for a simp. lol HI, IM HERE TO APPLY FOR THE 'SIMP' JOB E JOB..UH..... muckuh |
| TBKNY
User ID: 71024500 United States08/25/2021 07:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77948266 United States08/25/2021 07:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 79970856  Canada08/25/2021 07:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 07:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 07:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Anyway it sounds like you can't even afford to live on your own OP? Quoting: ^TrInItY^ Maybe best to move back in with your mother or something if possible? Do you own the place together or just rent? Joint bank accounts? 12 years is a long time to live with someone... It's a pain in the ass to separate yourself from someone you've been with so long. I don't know your particular situation but it sorta sounds like you love the guy but can't deal with who he really is... Odds are you're pretty fucked up yourself though and maybe you're lucky he's stayed with and supported you this long... -shrug- I don't know your real situation.... Honestly though, if you can't handle your shit, you can't handle your shit.... Sounds to me, like you can't handle your shit. :) He never supported me, quite the opposite. But you're right, I can't handle my shit. what's the situation with the house? whose name is it in? I was renting the house from my mother when he moved in. She ran into financial trouble, sold the house to HIS father. His dad likes me better than him, tho lol. |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 07:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I want it to work out, but I'm at my wits end with the time and money he wastes. He's even in a 12 step program, 3 years or 4, regularly attends meetings. Still fucking up. If you want it to work out, then you need to keep working on it. you have children If the guy isn't beating you or abusing your children, consider yourself lucky? I dunno... You're here asking how to get rid of him, but that's not really what you want.. What you want is to help him, to change him.... That's something else entirely. You want the truth? He's an addict, and he'll aways be an addict. You should have never got involved with an addict. Maybe you drink too but you keep it under control? I mean..... You're either a drinker or you're not... You're either a hard drug user or you're not... You're either a pot head or you're not.. Once you are one of those things, you're most likely going to be that for life. Not a single one of them every really changes. Maybe they stop using for awhile, but inevitably, they always fall back off the wagon. -shrug- It is what it is. At least he's not a meth head? Things could always be worse? Thanks. I guess I was having "a moment" when I started this thread. Just felt like I can't take it anymore. But I probably can. I have to keep on keeping on, i guess. What I really need to figure out is how to live with a crack addict without letting him drag me down any more than he already has. |
| The_Meridian
Breshears is Off: Ask Me Why User ID: 76838634 United States08/25/2021 07:30 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You all are dealing with someone with a complete lack of wisdom and self-respect. There will be no helping or reaching this person. (B)ullshit™ always needs an amplified bullhorn demanding kneeling subservience - or else.- SyncAsFunk The light within me always draws me back to make the dark decision to leave the false counterfeit light. -New Heart |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77948266 United States08/25/2021 07:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 07:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: SallyValentine I want it to work out, but I'm at my wits end with the time and money he wastes. He's even in a 12 step program, 3 years or 4, regularly attends meetings. Still fucking up. If you want it to work out, then you need to keep working on it. you have children If the guy isn't beating you or abusing your children, consider yourself lucky? I dunno... You're here asking how to get rid of him, but that's not really what you want.. What you want is to help him, to change him.... That's something else entirely. You want the truth? He's an addict, and he'll aways be an addict. You should have never got involved with an addict. Maybe you drink too but you keep it under control? I mean..... You're either a drinker or you're not... You're either a hard drug user or you're not... You're either a pot head or you're not.. Once you are one of those things, you're most likely going to be that for life. Not a single one of them every really changes. Maybe they stop using for awhile, but inevitably, they always fall back off the wagon. -shrug- It is what it is. At least he's not a meth head? Things could always be worse? Thanks. I guess I was having "a moment" when I started this thread. Just felt like I can't take it anymore. But I probably can. I have to keep on keeping on, i guess. What I really need to figure out is how to live with a crack addict without letting him drag me down any more than he already has. He's literally a crack head? Living with that shouldn't really be acceptable to anyone. That's not good for your children either. Do you / did you do hard drugs too? What the hell would posses you to get involved with a literal crack head? He was on a break from the stuff when we got together, which i wasn't aware of. Apparently from what I've read about that stuff, people can put it down for a few months. By the time I found out, I was pregnant. Spent a few years thinking he'd chose his family over the crack. I understand he's fighting a battle, and I understand the drug use is a symptom. This here thread has finally inspired me to find a support group for families of addicts. I don't use that stuff, never did, but I do enjoy the marijuana sometimes. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78052087 08/25/2021 07:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Gentile Starry Night
User ID: 80114190 United States08/25/2021 07:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yeah you gotta get out of that situation. You don’t owe it to anyone to grin and take that from somebody. Try to envision your life before this guy and treat getting back to that place as your new goal. You know in chess, some of the best pieces move backwards. Last Edited by Starry Like on 08/25/2021 07:43 PM Cathar Sis |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 07:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yeah you gotta get out of that situation. You don’t owe it to anyone to grin and take that from somebody. Try to envision your life before this guy and treat getting back to that place as your new goal. You know in chess, some of the best pieces move backwards. Quoting: Gentile Starry Night I never heard that chess analogy before. Thank you.  |
| Grandma9
User ID: 79482050 United States08/25/2021 07:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Tried all the above. Nothing works, not even the legal action memtioned. Quoting: SallyValentine Been living together 12 years. I've left at least 5 times, maybe more, cuz of his addiction. He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again. I've run out of compassion. And I don't want to leave anymore, i don't even have the means to leave, he should leave but won't. If your the one that pays the bills, he's in and out of the house because of drugs, your not married to him then get a restraining order. When he comes back home call the cops and he has to leave. His continued drug use puts you at risk. Grandma9 |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 07:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: SallyValentine Thanks. I guess I was having "a moment" when I started this thread. Just felt like I can't take it anymore. But I probably can. I have to keep on keeping on, i guess. What I really need to figure out is how to live with a crack addict without letting him drag me down any more than he already has. He's literally a crack head? Living with that shouldn't really be acceptable to anyone. That's not good for your children either. Do you / did you do hard drugs too? What the hell would posses you to get involved with a literal crack head? He was on a break from the stuff when we got together, which i wasn't aware of. Apparently from what I've read about that stuff, people can put it down for a few months. By the time I found out, I was pregnant. Spent a few years thinking he'd chose his family over the crack. I understand he's fighting a battle, and I understand the drug use is a symptom. This here thread has finally inspired me to find a support group for families of addicts. I don't use that stuff, never did, but I do enjoy the marijuana sometimes. a pot head and a crack head are two entirely different things He's never going to stop being a crack head. He's using because he hates his life, he hates himself, he always has, and always will... If you and the children made him happy, he would not be using. It's not enough for him and never will be. I won't go near anyone who uses hardcore drugs like that. They are seriously dangerous... Their friends are seriously dangerous... It's only a mater of time before something REALLY REALLY BAD HAPPENS... I cannot in any way encourage you to 'work it out' with a literal crack head. You should have left a long time again, at the first sign of it. You knew he was 'on a break' from the crack when you met him. This is a bad bad world he's involved in... My advice would be to take the kids and run, get child support, take his ass to the woodshed if he fucks with you in any way. That's hard for me to say as a man... I hate to see any man lose his family, but a crack head, meth head, coke head, heroin junky, etc. is major fucking trouble, always and forever. If you don't get away they will drag you down with them, drain all your resources, and you'll find you and your family homeless on the streets eventually. People might experiment with hard drugs when they are young but anyone who has taken it up as a lifestyle is like a demon just waiting to strike... STAY AWAY Thanks for taking the time to say all this. (Btw, I said I DIDN'T know he was on a break when we got together). It's a tough pill to swallow. But I fear you are right about all of it. He has some weird special skill where he brings us to the edge of disaster and then pulls us out of it. But I don't want to be around when he finally can't. |
| efzee
User ID: 39302296 United States08/25/2021 08:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| mutsugoro_11
User ID: 80790070 United States08/25/2021 08:05 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 08:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: SallyValentine He was on a break from the stuff when we got together, which i wasn't aware of. Apparently from what I've read about that stuff, people can put it down for a few months. By the time I found out, I was pregnant. Spent a few years thinking he'd chose his family over the crack. I understand he's fighting a battle, and I understand the drug use is a symptom. This here thread has finally inspired me to find a support group for families of addicts. I don't use that stuff, never did, but I do enjoy the marijuana sometimes. a pot head and a crack head are two entirely different things He's never going to stop being a crack head. He's using because he hates his life, he hates himself, he always has, and always will... If you and the children made him happy, he would not be using. It's not enough for him and never will be. I won't go near anyone who uses hardcore drugs like that. They are seriously dangerous... Their friends are seriously dangerous... It's only a mater of time before something REALLY REALLY BAD HAPPENS... I cannot in any way encourage you to 'work it out' with a literal crack head. You should have left a long time again, at the first sign of it. You knew he was 'on a break' from the crack when you met him. This is a bad bad world he's involved in... My advice would be to take the kids and run, get child support, take his ass to the woodshed if he fucks with you in any way. That's hard for me to say as a man... I hate to see any man lose his family, but a crack head, meth head, coke head, heroin junky, etc. is major fucking trouble, always and forever. If you don't get away they will drag you down with them, drain all your resources, and you'll find you and your family homeless on the streets eventually. People might experiment with hard drugs when they are young but anyone who has taken it up as a lifestyle is like a demon just waiting to strike... STAY AWAY Thanks for taking the time to say all this. (Btw, I said I DIDN'T know he was on a break when we got together). It's a tough pill to swallow. But I fear you are right about all of it. He has some weird special skill where he brings us to the edge of disaster and then pulls us out of it. But I don't want to be around when he finally can't. How does he earn money? Let me guess, he's a contractor? lol Well as you can imagine, he works on and off. Either driving a forklift or working FOR a contractor. |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 08:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| above/below
User ID: 67229503 United States08/25/2021 08:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Im just here to read Trinity's words. Like damn son He is hella nice. I always thought trin was the quite type, but this thread is like oh snap Trin is very Social and Smart with Understanding situations. I see his dad owns the house that is even worse luck and you are not married? Bad luck to have kids out of marriage. Last Edited by above/below on 08/25/2021 08:42 PM above/below |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 41886936 United States08/25/2021 08:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sally.. I just read much of this thread.. you have children.. YOU DO RIGHT BY THEM... enough said. :with love: KAN DAEK YOU DO RIGHT AGAIN BY YOUR CHILDREN>> WHO YOU RAISE UP FOR God As a Mother.. I lived thru something.. wasn't drugs with my ex... something else and very serious. I HAD TO DO RIGHT BY MY CHILDREN. They are now grown and 50ish and I have now great grand children.. you do right by your Children and your future grand children and great grand children.. for their futures are in your hands now.. and what you do NOW.. will have effect on the future generations you have begat thru your begating children.... think about it. what man does now.. or woman... will have effects unto the 7th generation. |
| UrMomsD1ld0
User ID: 77302328 United States08/25/2021 08:43 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Francisblack
User ID: 34126169 United States08/25/2021 08:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 80018729 United States08/25/2021 08:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Tried all the above. Nothing works, not even the legal action memtioned. Quoting: SallyValentine Been living together 12 years. I've left at least 5 times, maybe more, cuz of his addiction. He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again. I've run out of compassion. And I don't want to leave anymore, i don't even have the means to leave, he should leave but won't. Suck it up buttercup. |
| Francisblack
User ID: 34126169 United States08/25/2021 08:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 41886936 United States08/25/2021 08:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Tried all the above. Nothing works, not even the legal action memtioned. Quoting: SallyValentine Been living together 12 years. I've left at least 5 times, maybe more, cuz of his addiction. He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again. I've run out of compassion. And I don't want to leave anymore, i don't even have the means to leave, he should leave but won't. sally grow yourself some balls and read my post above... |
| SallyValentine
(OP) User ID: 79601558 United States08/25/2021 09:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Tried all the above. Nothing works, not even the legal action memtioned. Quoting: SallyValentine Been living together 12 years. I've left at least 5 times, maybe more, cuz of his addiction. He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again. I've run out of compassion. And I don't want to leave anymore, i don't even have the means to leave, he should leave but won't. sally grow yourself some balls and read my post above... Thank you. I will. |
