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How do you get rid of a man?

 
Mr.Wonderful

User ID: 78320186
United States
08/26/2021 11:21 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


there's your problem right there, you're an emotional dumb ass.
Veritas veni vidi vici
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
United States
08/26/2021 11:22 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Hey OP...

Do what you need for your kids.

Don't lie.

Don't manipulate.

Seek solutions to work from home...the world climate is supporting that right now.

Learn a skill...or work on something you already know how to do.

12 years in and I can guess yur MO is enabler and helper.

Help yourself.

Enable yourself.

Turn that inward and towards your kids.
 Quoting: Bodhi Sita


Thank you.
lin318

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08/26/2021 11:23 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Maybe he could happen to an accident?
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 11:25 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
You move out.

Or are you trying to bully him out of his share of property?
 Quoting: MissApple


I guess i'm just thinking why the heck should i try to find somewhere to land with 2 kids, 2 iguanas, a bird, a dog and 3 hermit crabs? Seems more logical for him to go, especially since he's the one who keeps making the bad choices.
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 11:27 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Maybe he could happen to an accident?
 Quoting: lin318


I'm not gonna lie and say i haven't wished for this, which i feel bad about.
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
United States
08/26/2021 11:29 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


there's your problem right there, you're an emotional dumb ass.
 Quoting: Mr.Wonderful


I know. Ugh.
SafeandSound

User ID: 78729715
United States
08/26/2021 11:31 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Are you bitching and nagging enough? Pick on him. Point out is faults all day long til you get in screaming matches.
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 11:34 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Are you bitching and nagging enough? Pick on him. Point out is faults all day long til you get in screaming matches.
 Quoting: SafeandSound


We pretty much have a screaming match daily. He does the bitching and nagging, tho. I eventually react, then the screaming.

No matter what i do or say, he always comes back to "stop being so hopeless, we can fix anything. Have faith".
Bodhi Sita
Divided...for the chance of

User ID: 80792586
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08/26/2021 11:35 AM

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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Hey OP...

Do what you need for your kids.

Don't lie.

Don't manipulate.

Seek solutions to work from home...the world climate is supporting that right now.

Learn a skill...or work on something you already know how to do.

12 years in and I can guess yur MO is enabler and helper.

Help yourself.

Enable yourself.

Turn that inward and towards your kids.
 Quoting: Bodhi Sita


Thank you.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Welcome!

Also, I read that he reads the bible? NA might be good for him..I have known a couple people who it really saved.

Praying for your family.
Unless...

"The truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off."

Res ipsa loquitur
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 11:35 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


there's your problem right there, you're an emotional dumb ass.
 Quoting: Mr.Wonderful


I know. Ugh.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Funny thing is, he always tells me to stop letting my emotions control me.

But if i took that advice, i'd have been long gone by now.
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
United States
08/26/2021 11:36 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Hey OP...

Do what you need for your kids.

Don't lie.

Don't manipulate.

Seek solutions to work from home...the world climate is supporting that right now.

Learn a skill...or work on something you already know how to do.

12 years in and I can guess yur MO is enabler and helper.

Help yourself.

Enable yourself.

Turn that inward and towards your kids.
 Quoting: Bodhi Sita


Thank you.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Welcome!

Also, I read that he reads the bible? NA might be good for him..I have known a couple people who it really saved.

Praying for your family.
 Quoting: Bodhi Sita


hf
lin318

User ID: 80790735
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08/26/2021 11:38 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Maybe he could happen to an accident?
 Quoting: lin318


I'm not gonna lie and say i haven't wished for this, which i feel bad about.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Sounds like how I felt about my first wife. Never touched her in a bad way but wouldn't have cried if she left and did not return
The Dr.

User ID: 80782780
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08/26/2021 11:41 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Tried all the above. Nothing works, not even the legal action memtioned.

Been living together 12 years. I've left at least 5 times, maybe more, cuz of his addiction. He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again.

I've run out of compassion. And I don't want to leave anymore, i don't even have the means to leave, he should leave but won't.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Have you thought about a nice glp guy?hf
 Quoting: Last of the trumpers!


I've had only bad luck with any guys.

Go ahead, glp, hit me with some ugly truth, can't make me feel worse than I already do.
 Quoting: SallyValentine

Time to assess why you choose those type of Guys. Probably they fit your lifestyle or the way you think of yourself( self worth) or reflect daddy issues.
Not Judging, just saying you need to find the root cause and change your life.
As for getting rid of him, ever tried the religious route?
Start going to a good Church and keep on him to join you there.
Not a going to church once a week thing, but every time the doors are open(at least twice a week) and /or a home bible study meeting.
That will either change your life and or his life.

If you follow through with it, you might even meet a nice guy at church.
“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 11:47 AM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Tried all the above. Nothing works, not even the legal action memtioned.

Been living together 12 years. I've left at least 5 times, maybe more, cuz of his addiction. He cleans up, I come back, he gets dirty again.

I've run out of compassion. And I don't want to leave anymore, i don't even have the means to leave, he should leave but won't.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Have you thought about a nice glp guy?hf
 Quoting: Last of the trumpers!


I've had only bad luck with any guys.

Go ahead, glp, hit me with some ugly truth, can't make me feel worse than I already do.
 Quoting: SallyValentine

Time to assess why you choose those type of Guys. Probably they fit your lifestyle or the way you think of yourself( self worth) or reflect daddy issues.
Not Judging, just saying you need to find the root cause and change your life.
As for getting rid of him, ever tried the religious route?
Start going to a good Church and keep on him to join you there.
Not a going to church once a week thing, but every time the doors are open(at least twice a week) and /or a home bible study meeting.
That will either change your life and or his life.

If you follow through with it, you might even meet a nice guy at church.
 Quoting: The Dr.


That sounds like good advice.

As for the root cause, i do believe it's a self worth issue for whatever reason.

But even if that is the case, i'm not sold on the theory that being with him is a "mistake", even tho i often think it is.

What i mean is, even if we got together because of our dysfunctions, we did get together, we have a famiky, we are a family. A very dysfunctional and messed up family, but is it right to chuck it? Or is it right to fix it?

I know we would both prefer to fix it, but we're like, too retarded to figure out how.
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 12:18 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Is it true that the troubles we run into in our relationships are for the purpose of shining a light on something we need to fix or learn about ourselves?

It makes sense.

I'm struggling to find what i'm supposed to be learning or fixing.

I'm not the kind of girl who is afraid to be alone, in fact i've always done better financially and otherwise when single. (In my case, sinle has always meant single parent as i had my oldest when i was 17.)

What does that mean? Anyone got any insight?

Last Edited by SallyValentine on 08/26/2021 12:18 PM
Floater

User ID: 80590787
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08/26/2021 01:05 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Been there done that. Thos is what I did with a physical ally violent, alcoholic ex.
First thing is to get legalities in order. After years together you may be a common law wife. Arrange for legal aid to help you with a legal separation and a restraining order. Get your self in order emotionally and stop talking to him about it.
When legal papers are ready to be served set up the plan for him to be served with you out of the house. Before service get him out of the house. When he leaves pack his stuff. Put his stuff outside. As you are packing him get the locks changed. Leave!! He will be served separation paperwork or restraining order while you are gone so notify the agency responsible for it. If he doesn't leave call the police and state you have this paperwork. Police will show up and they will escort him away from you.
Use your words. Write out a power speech and practice saying it until you can recite it without getting upset or emotional. If he wants to talk recite the speech and end the conversation. Say what you have to say to him then walk away. No further engagement. Anytime he tries to talk or argue recite the speech. This is taking back your power and the beginning of your healing from codependency.
Good luck. He isn't the one for you. It is your responsibility to end it!
Floater

User ID: 80590787
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08/26/2021 01:10 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
I kept trying to fix it. I realized I can only fix myself. The advice on church is wonderful. Follow through there. Also find a codependency support group. Keep busy and stay away from him. You can't fix him. You can only take care of yourself and your issues. If he was going to change, he already would have.
You have a family, demonstrate healing and healthy behavior and they will learn. Then they have a chance to have healthy relationships instead of continuing this pattern of dysfunction.
Good luck
Possum70

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08/26/2021 01:11 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
a) shut off the pussy
b) bang one of his friends
c) humiliate and/or embarrass him publicly or to friends/family.
d) viola!
 Quoting: Possum70


Oh, I haven't tried "c", but yuk.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Oh ok. Guess you two lovebirds are just stuck together forever then. Enjoy.
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 01:21 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
I kept trying to fix it. I realized I can only fix myself. The advice on church is wonderful. Follow through there. Also find a codependency support group. Keep busy and stay away from him. You can't fix him. You can only take care of yourself and your issues. If he was going to change, he already would have.
You have a family, demonstrate healing and healthy behavior and they will learn. Then they have a chance to have healthy relationships instead of continuing this pattern of dysfunction.
Good luck
 Quoting: Floater


Thank you.
hf
SallyValentine  (OP)

User ID: 79601558
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08/26/2021 01:23 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
a) shut off the pussy
b) bang one of his friends
c) humiliate and/or embarrass him publicly or to friends/family.
d) viola!
 Quoting: Possum70


Oh, I haven't tried "c", but yuk.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Oh ok. Guess you two lovebirds are just stuck together forever then. Enjoy.
 Quoting: Possum70


Haha IT WAS A TYPO!!
Red John
There Can Be Only One!

User ID: 40631876
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08/26/2021 01:39 PM

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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Maybe he could happen to an accident?
 Quoting: lin318


with fentanyl in his pipe

justsayin
pixie

Hey gang-stalkers fuck off

General Failure Reading Drive A:
Who is General Failure?

There can be Only One

Team Swirl
Swirl Nation

instead of red, post in the thread, then I can respond.

[link to qz.com (secure)]
Red John
There Can Be Only One!

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08/26/2021 01:40 PM

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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Maybe he could happen to an accident?
 Quoting: lin318

bad gateway made double post
vurtdafurk

Last Edited by Red John on 08/26/2021 01:41 PM
pixie

Hey gang-stalkers fuck off

General Failure Reading Drive A:
Who is General Failure?

There can be Only One

Team Swirl
Swirl Nation

instead of red, post in the thread, then I can respond.

[link to qz.com (secure)]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75428781
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08/26/2021 01:42 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Seriously, how? If he won't leave even though you've made it clear time and time again that you don't want him to stay?
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Just be yourself.

:gotem:
SallyValentine  (OP)

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08/26/2021 02:04 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Maybe he could happen to an accident?
 Quoting: lin318

bad gateway made double post
vurtdafurk
 Quoting: Red John


Thanks for making me laugh hf
FeralOne

User ID: 80786329
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08/26/2021 02:08 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
a) shut off the pussy
b) bang one of his friends
c) humiliate and/or embarrass him publicly or to friends/family.
d) viola!
 Quoting: Possum70


Oh, I haven't tried "c", but yuk.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Damn girl you fucked one of his friends? and he's still there? blink I'd be dead...and I've done all but that.....and not humiliate but just tell the truth cause he does not to them...
 Quoting: Iset


If you hang out publicly, stay over and fuck another guy and let it be known that you're serious with him, almost any guy will leave - you're humiliating him and ruining his reputation. If it was his house he would throw you out. If it's yours, you can do the same - if he doesn't leave.

Men don't take hints - we can't even notice them. Anything short of "I hate your guts and want you out of here today" simply won't be noticed.

If you can hook him up with another vagina, that will help, as long as he knows he's never wanted back and your body belongs to another. Never ever send mixed signals. That's not how women are wired, but men need to hear only a congruent clear message.
Bikeride

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08/26/2021 02:11 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Joe Nemo

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08/26/2021 02:17 PM

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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
He studies the bible a LOT.

He sleeps to the sound of bible scholar podcasts.

 Quoting: SallyValentine

Start a regular Bible study group at your place - he will get his shit together or he will not be there.

 Quoting: Joe Nemo
SallyValentine  (OP)

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08/26/2021 02:20 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
a) shut off the pussy
b) bang one of his friends
c) humiliate and/or embarrass him publicly or to friends/family.
d) viola!
 Quoting: Possum70


Oh, I haven't tried "c", but yuk.
 Quoting: SallyValentine


Damn girl you fucked one of his friends? and he's still there? blink I'd be dead...and I've done all but that.....and not humiliate but just tell the truth cause he does not to them...
 Quoting: Iset


If you hang out publicly, stay over and fuck another guy and let it be known that you're serious with him, almost any guy will leave - you're humiliating him and ruining his reputation. If it was his house he would throw you out. If it's yours, you can do the same - if he doesn't leave.

Men don't take hints - we can't even notice them. Anything short of "I hate your guts and want you out of here today" simply won't be noticed.

If you can hook him up with another vagina, that will help, as long as he knows he's never wanted back and your body belongs to another. Never ever send mixed signals. That's not how women are wired, but men need to hear only a congruent clear message.
 Quoting: FeralOne


He asked me a couple days ago, unprovoked, if he should go be with another woman. I said yes. He said, no, i don't want to do that.

I tell him often that i hate him and want him to leave.

He tells me he knows me better than that.

I HAVE NOT messed with any of his friends, that was a typo, and i'm not gonna do that just to get rid of him. I don't even think it would work.

When he grabs my ass as he walks by, i elbow him in the gut and tell him don't touch me. I give him no affection or anything.

I think i'm being clear.
Bikeride

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08/26/2021 02:42 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Seriously, how? If he won't leave even though you've made it clear time and time again that you don't want him to stay?
 Quoting: SallyValentine


easy. there are MANY things you can do to inspire him to leave in a big hurry

1. Eat lots of garlic and onions
2. burp and fart in his presence, especially in front of his friends
3. light a cigarette and blow smoke in his face
4. tell him you're a lesbian and flirt with a girl in front of him to make him believe it
5. next time he wants to make a date with you, tell him you have an OB/GYN appointment
6. repeatedly use the old tried and true "I HAVE A HEADACHE" or "IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH" line
7. next time he calls and tells you he's coming over, put on nun's clothing and tell him you joined the order

...and I could think of TONS of more good stuff ohyeah
lin318

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08/26/2021 03:00 PM
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Re: How do you get rid of a man?
Maybe he could happen to an accident?
 Quoting: lin318


with fentanyl in his pipe

justsayin
 Quoting: Red John


haha





GLP