Has any men here started families in their mid 50s?

I hope I look well when I'm 70.

I'm a woman. You're gonna get a lot of bad advice here from other men, many of whom seem to be incels and/or gay. Many just hate women.

Unless you are rich and possibly famous, it is very hard in your 50s to meet a woman of child bearing age who'll want to have kids with you. Why would she if she can get someone younger? DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN HOUSE AND A LOT OF MONEY? A lot of money is a relative thing but you have to have something to offer and like it or not, that is what an older man generally has.....money and property. Now, you might just attract sugar babies with that who may not want to have kids with you. Your best bet is a foreign woman from a poor country. Don't count on love because foreign women tend to put on a good act - they're really sweet until the ring is on and then they're much worse than American women in terms of being greedy and grasping. And frequently domineering. I've seen this many times. Especially Asian women, wheeeeew.

Your best bet at your age is if you DO have resources, to find a single/divorced mother maybe with a couple of kids, be a step dad, and if she's young enough - maybe into late 30s or early 40s, she might be able to squeeze another out. That IS probably your best bet and don't sneer at it. She'd be grateful, you'd know what you were getting for her as a wife and mother, you know what the kids are like, and the dad might still be in the picture to do some of the heavy lifting with the kids, especially financial. Older women tend to be more settled and more grateful. Of course there is menopause but....I went through it with virtually no symptoms and the effect is exaggerated.

I think that's your best bet for both a family and mature love. Don't go chasing after the young girls, they'll just take your money and look for a younger man on the side. And don't run after religious women necessarily. Religious people are some of the worst hypocrites and worst behaved people you can find in private life.

Good luck - I think you can find a woman and have a family but you have to be realistic at your age.

OP - this is kind of funny, thank you for the smile. =)

In regards to your original question..

I dealt with medical issues in my teens through mid 30's. Married a gal and had a son at the age of 39. Had another son roughly 18 months later.

Changed my life, mostly good. 2 awesome little guys. Oldest son is on the spectrum. He is great now, high functioning and 99% of the people he comes in contact with have no idea.

9 years from the birth of my oldest, am divorced. Trapped in a state I don't want to be in. I am also trapped in my job (child support reasons), ended up broke after a 2 year divorce fight. I have $80k into my boys before I put a shirt on their back, or a bite of food in their mouth.

I only had children because my ex really wanted them, I could have been just fine never having any.

Understand the following very very clearly:
1) You will lose everything if it doesn't work out.
2) If she is college educated, the deck is highly stacked against you for it lasting.
3) The lawyers and courts are highly biased and you will pay maga bucks to have your kids in your life if it goes sideways. They also set it all up so you end up going though it all again once the kids get to be 7-10 years (plan another $20-30k when you go back in to un fk the fk'd from the original divorce).

Was it worth it? I don't know.. I have 50/50 custody (week on week off), have a home, some land.. I don't date, I won't marry again (would love to, but now knowing the rules, never). I also won't have another woman in my home that could ever be given the power over my future and finances the courts give them.

The struggle now, giving my boys the experiences I had growing up. No issues with housing, or food, or clothing expenses, but being a single dad, one income and starting life all over financially at the age of 42, while giving vacations, bigger toys for the house, traveling, camping, skiing, backpacking, etc.. This is all becoming impossible. At this point, it is all about what can I sacrifice to give a little extra to the boys. I do get tons of time with them though, and pass along a ton of excellent knowledge, we work on stuff in the garage, fix the house stuff together, yard work.. etc.

If you had told me back when that this is how it would be now.. I'd have likely not done it. Now it really isn't a choice. Great kids, have a lot of fun with them, changed my life in many ways for the better..

My story isn't a rare one, this happens all the time. Add another 10 years into the above equation.. Yikes.. Remember, 1/2 of everything you have (house, savings, stocks, 401k,etc) is hers at divorce. 1/2 of what is left will likely go to the lawyers. If she is on the note and mortgage of the house at divorce, you will lose the house if you can't refi her off of it (court mandated).

If the system was fair and just, I'd say go for it! As it stands now, economy collapsing, rates sky high, current potato, seriously messed up school system..

This would be something I would put serious time into considering. I wish you the best in what ever you do, kids are great and the laughs are constant..

Honestly kids are for the young if you have to deal with a rebellious teen in your late 60’s ….oh boy no thanks

Also, I know men get upset at the idea that they need to have money and property but if you're a woman who has or wants kids....YOU NEED RESOURCES. Child having/bearing women need nests and you as a man, need to provide the nest. That's WHY the money/property is needed. There are women who will overlook a lot for that but you want to make sure it's someone who will also make you reasonably happy. So men...stop looking down at women who want SECURITY, it is a natural biological urge for women just as sex is for men. Security is far more important to us than sex. Just accept that and everything will make more sense.

As an older person I tend to agree with this, I love the little ones but it's nice to hand them off. That's another reason it might be good to be a step dad, you'll know what you're getting and you can build the relationship before they move in.

u didn't say about your being in shape

Why did your marriage break up? Be honest.

Fight the urge! IT’S A TRAP!

just go out and hookup and impregnate as many as you can

does it matter, they were designed for babies, their life will be complete to have one

Yeah, and he'd enjoy paying all that child support too. Blech.

If you are a virgin now days women will not like you as they are all big loose whores. They think men that haven't spent their entire life trying to get pussy holes are weirdos. It's really quite the opposite but that's how these literal whores and sluts think now.

They think they can't control you.

one night stand, dont use your real name, you be happy, best go to another town or city club, flash the cash


after 20 or 50 hookups no condom, your bound to be a daddy with no strings

My dad got married for the first time at 52, had his first kid at 53 and I came along when he had jsut turned 56.

His wife was 21 years younger than him ... but that was back in the day, just after WW2, when if a woman wasn't married by 25-27 she was considered "washed up" and my mom was 31 when they tied the knot. (he did have to chase her HARD ... all the way across the US in fact before she agreed)

A HUGE issue for me as a son is that my dad grew up in the days when kids who were academincally oriented and got an education (he had TWO graduate degrees back when most didn't complete high school) didn't do much in the way of sports or outdoor activities, so he was never a sports guy and couldn't teach me about any sports. He also was NOT an outdoorsman of any sort, though in his day when younger he had been a very good horseman (he grew up in the days before cars)

Since he couldn't teach me all that other stuff directly he got me involved in activities where I could learn them and other than Golf, which I HATED when I tried it, he made sure I was a competent outdoors person, horse person, gun person, tennis player, canoer, sailor, and learn to fly (and get my license) before I was out of high school. (he also pushed me to do a LOT of wilderness treking during those high school years which included doing weeks in the Canadian wilds and on and near the Appalachian Trail).

In addition he pushed me to obtain a practical skill which could get me immediately employed, which I did - printing and photography for me - which were both very good skills and professions before computers and digital this and that came along. (had great job offers upon graduation from high school all of which which I turned down so as to go to college). He also wanted me to learn to snow ski which I did later and to golf which I have never done

All in all because of his age he knew it was unlikely he would live to see me graduate from college (based on when men in his family died), was just thankful he saw me graduate from high school and did his best to push me to be very well rounded person before he left this world.

I will say it IS tough for the kid growing up knowing that their dad's is at the end of their life and can go at any time. That was my situation from about the 6th grade on which wore on me HARD but is also what motivated me so hard in high school to accomplish all that stuff since I knew I would probably have to be 100% independent come high school graduation.

For him he was thrilled that he was a DAD, even though late in life. For him it made his entire life a worthwhile endeavor and brought so much happiness to his soul.

With today's technology people live a solid decade longer than they did when my dad was raising me ... which means getting married and having kids in one's early to mid 50's is very doable, IF you can find the right woman to do it with (she MUST be younger needless to say).

Good luck ... but if you WANT to do it you have to be very very aggressive about it, like my dad was, because of your age

besides she was going to leave you anyway and take all your stuff, this method saves you allot of time

lol

If you are really looking for love, why not find a woman 40-50, nearer your age?

They are basically too old to become a mother, but you are too old to logically be a father. You could have love and companionship though- someone who loves you and to enjoy life with.

Not a man, but I like your post. You sound sensible and can write well. Your resume qualifies you for a smart woman who certainly would be interested in a relationship. I have no doubt.

Age doesn't matter. Have your friends set you up on blind dates? The best place to meet a fine woman is at church.

Many reasons:
1) First born on the spectrum.
2) Stay at home mom which required many more work hours for me (not enough home time to help out)
3) MIL who had a history with financial fraud putting $15k in CC debt on my ex in her name (suddenly our debt) 1 year after my first born. We had to decided if MIL was going to jail or we where going to pay it, this wasn't the first time.
4) It wasn't a "planned" child, we where traveling with my work and had to put down in the location we where at (400 plus miles to our family support system.. Well, mine was the only support, see above). My boys where born midwife and doula (born in my current home), we needed to have a "home" and not a "rental"..

Those are the biggies, but there are more little ones.. The biggest issue was cutting the MIL off financially, I made an enemy who made it their goal to destroy us/me.

Biggest piece of advice I can give any Father with Sons, educate them on the future MIL, if they have survived off of state aid, child support, disability, etc their entire lives, I don't care how different the daughter might be, that will always come back to haunt ya. The daughters become mini experts on all the systems growing up in that environment.

What do you mean by this?

I had a friend whose father was 82 when she was born. She barely remembers her father.

Also - to be clear..
No drug/alch abuse in either I or her..
No infidelity (cheating) for either I or her (sometimes I wonder about her, but zero concrete and if I had to put money on it, I'd be against her cheating).

With calloused hands.

Get on a plane to Columbia or Brazil and sow some wild oats.

They actually like men down there and they are mostly gorgeous. :)

Hire some pros. They are cheap down there.
Might find one that likes you enough to get married.


But Mid 50's is pretty old to start a family.

My dad was around 45 when I was born and that was too old. He never wanted to do anything because he was old and his back hurt or something.

and all of the advice he gave me was wrong.

Last Edited by JustmeTX on 12/04/2023 05:06 PM

With all due respect:

You need to get laid. And quick.

As a woman, I agree with this - it really is not generally good to become an older parent. My father married my mother with a 15 year age gap and she only married him because she was literally insane at the time. Insane from losing the man she really wanted to marry (he died in a car crash). It was a terrible mistake but once she had me she was too afraid to leave. When she was 60 he was 75 and had been sick for years already and she had to care for him, not fun. No fun for me either.

If you want kids, generally as I say, look for a woman who already had kids, someone closer to your own age and be a step-dad. It's the healthiest way for everyone.

Again, as a woman, and I specify that because there aren't a lot of us here on GLP, this is great advice. If you can, always look at the mother, meet her, try to get to see what she's like. That's a pretty good estimate of what the daughter will become esp if you're dealing with a young woman and you're blinded by looks. Oh boy are you in for a surprise. That's another reason I recommend older women with children for this guy - he knows what he's getting. She may or may not be like dear old Mom, but by that point, she has her own history and she is what she is.

I also think people should do background checks on anyone they want to get seriously involved with - male or female.

Those older life babies don't always end up a cinderella story for the parents; although some do and can for those w/plenty of resources or inherited wealth/health.

A family member remarried and at 45 his new (2nd) wife talked him into adopting a 'state' baby, it's momma had drug issues when the baby was born. He's 50 now with bad arthritis and a job that requires physical work in all types of weather.

The kid? They just found out he's autistic, he told another family member they can't control him and have little social life now because of the child's needs & behavior. No polite way to say their adopted bundle of joy is now a life sentence of daily struggle unless they commit him to a state run institution, if that's even allowed anymore (IDK). It's just painful all the way around.

Personally I wouldn't chance it, but men did it back in the day all the time, they just got younger wives, but they also had the means to keep those wives and kids.

Do you have the means in case something goes wrong? Child has issues, you run into health issues, can you imagine divorce in your 50's with a toddler or disabled child?

I know I sound like a debbie downer, but I feel so badly for my relative right now w/the adopted autistic child. It didn't turn out the way he and his new wife planned.

And, what's worse is, both were previously married, she had 1 healthy child, raised, doing great; he had 2 healthy children, doing fine, he has grandchildren...but his NEW wife just had to have another kid. I remember saying to this family member before he and his new wife adopted this child, are you sure you want to start over when your kids are already raised? He said yeah, they'd be fine. They aren't.

IDK, I absolutely wouldn't do it, just me personally.

52 year old virgin. Bro, you're fucked. And not in the good way.

Try getting laid first then we'll talk wife and children.

You're so tarded please don't procreate.

Seriously.

I wonder why he hasn't hired a hooker by now. He must have mega social anxiety disorder or something.