I almost let my divorce kill me……

Some experiences have content, others just don't.

Attachments are necessary, you just need to know how to detach when necessary.

..,
Ridiculous & creepy posts!

You using the Mighty King of Glory’s name here is blasphemous!!


..

When allowed, you mean

Amen

Only one delivers

Proverbs 11:22

Read it

I don't understand why some guys take divorce so hard.

When I caught my wife screwing around with some guy she met at work, I immediately lost all feelings of love and respect for her. I couldn't get her out of the house fast enough. Even the kids were glad to see her out. She had become kind of a biitch in the months preceding this.

Who the hell wants to remain with someone that no longer loves then anyhow? The moment I discovered this betrayal, my feelings for her instantly changed to the opposite.

Nobody cheats on someone they actually love. That is simply unthinkable to me. And how can you love someone that doesn't love you? That's also unimaginable to me.

It's pretty scummy though for someone that's married to cheat on their spouse. Cowardly. If you no longer love your spouse, you should admit this to them and begin the separation and divorce before carrying on with someone else.

Heck, who can even love someone that's married and cheating on their spouse? You certainly can't trust anyone like that. And if you can't trust them, how can you love them?

My 1st husband would hit me. i used to hide it from family. i even put cover-up makeup on the bruises when i'd see my family or friends or work.

i broke down one evening to my favorite uncle on my father's side. he came over to our home with 2 of my other uncles...his brothers...and they spoke to my husband about it while i was asked to be elsewhere in the house.

they didn't beat him but what they said to him made our divorce very easy. i now have a great man.

Let God help. Ask and believe.

Or you call a plumber...

IVE SEEN PEOPLE AFTUH A DAY IN DIVORCE COURT. BRUTAL EVENTS!UH

THEY LOOK LIKE ALI AN FRAZIER COMBINED..NO JOKE. BAD TIMES..UH

Sending you love, strength and peace. I am going to make a flower altar for you today.

So glad you are alive. Big hugs.

Yeah, pretty sure the OP is a girl:
men harbor no such deep emotions, ever.
Men don't care about women.

Girlfriend: he's not worth it!
Cannot comprehend giving your body and emotions this strongly to another person.

OP: learn where you END! Where that other person begins
should be nowhere near you.

Have you learnt nothing? SIX FEET!!!! Distance, I mean, not underground, LOL!

Oh and totally do NOT understand what pills have to do with a divorce. Where you addicted to this dude?
READ: Is it Love or Is it Addiction by iforgotwho.

Oh and next time, try a couple of kitten videos on YT, instead of a bottle of pills.

Can hardly believe you're a man posting this. NEVER EVER met a guy with such sense and sensibility!
Pity about the children, or I'd propose.

All jokes aside, pretty sure the OP IS A WOMAN!!!!
Types like a woman
Energy of a woman
Feel like a woman.

NO WAY in hey that it's a man!

I've been through it all. 15 years of self torment. But I got through it after I had a self realization that the mind which spoke to me (or thought to me rather) wasn't actually me at all. I became sick to death of the mind tormenting me about the past. It would play out thoughts, emotions, feelings, events and circumstances like a video tape all day, all night, 365 days a year.

One day when "I" realized this I was sick and tired of it (I was out driving and told it I had had enough and to shut the f_ck up!) In that moment when I was watching it play out those old painful stories for the 10,000th time I realised the mind wasn't actually "me". It wasn't what I had always thought it to be. I was watching it speak, I was observing it think .... so I realised that, I must be separate from it. just like the body is seperate from “me" so is the mind.

it took many years of practice but now it is "I” that tells "it" what to think. it's just a machine. just a tool. an extension of "yourself" like an arm or a leg.

what you've done is feed it with your depression for so long that it keeps playing it over and over. its basically spinning around and around with whatever you give it and whatever you feed it for a long time it starts to feed you instead like a feed back loop. that is until... you finally realize you can stop it.

Any time heavy thoughts of the past appear in the minds eye:

choose to ignore it.
choose to distract it,
choose to feed it with something else.
decide today that you are the master of your mind and have the authority and power over it.

the mind is always with, you cannot escape it's influence so feed it with something positive. you have to train it or rather re-train it. because initially at some stage in your forgotten past...

*YOU* told it what to think!

so start today. little by little.
everytime it tells you about your pain.
just agree... "yep I have pain, no need to tell me I already know. tell me something else, something interesting or be quiet."

you have to retrain it. it's yours for keepers. so fill it up with something great.

Now I have a great life, a great wife and everything I ever wanted (almost).

You can do it too. I was exactly where you are now.

I feel for you man. Hang in there. It can be done. You can make it. You don’t have to throw your life away. Never let your guard down because you are in a lifelong struggle now.

Similar shit happened to me. Not from the divorce of my wife of 18 years but my partner of 12 years after my wife, when she left me, I went into a tailspin. She is the love of my life.

I used for years when I was younger but was able to stop for a while. I was clean-ish when I met her. The last 5 years or so of the relationship I started using regularly again. Unfortunately not dope, hydro, or Oxy, which I’ve always been able to kick no problem, but rather Fentanyl.

Fentanyl is fucking brutal to kick. I tried, constantly for years. When she left she said she loves me and would never judge me but the paths we were on at that moment were too divergent and she couldn't watch me kill myself any longer. I think the 5 OD’s, where she called for an ambulance the first 2 and brought me back herself with CPR the last 3 was probably a bit too much for her.

For about a year after she left I didn't try to stop anymore. Then finally something happened that woke me up. I definitely should have been dead. I can’t attribute it to anything other than either divine intervention or pure blind dumb luck.

In any case, I decided to quit cold turkey. Do you know how bad, and how long, withdrawals are from quitting a year's long Fentanyl habit cold turkey? Normally when I kicked straight dope my withdrawals would be 3 days of about 5 to 6 on the COWS scale. Maybe a day and a half once suboxone started to be a thing.

When I quit Fentanyl cold turkey the worst of the withdraws, about 8 to 12 on the COWS scale, lasted 18 days. I couldn’t eat for 10 days and had to force sips of water every couple of days. The next 7 to 8 days I only ”ate” a half cup of chicken broth a day. Finally, after 18 days, I was no longer puking every 20 minutes and my muscles were no longer spasming. My blood pressure was still going up and down, freezing on second sweating the next, though not as severe and not as quickly.

It took a full month for most of the physical symptoms to subside; blood pressure to finally regulate, withdraw sneezes to go from 6 to 7 in a row to an occasional 1 to 2, my nerve endings to function properly, sleep to become more regular, etc. Though it took 2 months for my pupils to dialate properly.

After going through all that I believe I did receive divine intervention because as hard as it was, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, it was easy. I could have called any number of people who would have come to me to drop off a fix. I never even had a thought to call anybody.

Also, the thing that blows my mind to this day, I never once then, or now, had 1 using dream. You know the dreams you have when you are kicking about going to score, a pile of it laying on a table in front of you, or pushing that plunger down, only to wake up before you can get it, use it, or feel it? If I had those like normal I don’t know if it would have broke me. But I didn't, not 1 dream. I can’t explain it.

Anyway, for me personally, I know my battle isn't over if I’ve got a year or two sober under my belt. My battle is life long. So until I felt I was strong enough to be around people or places where I knew it ”could” be around I had to bail.

make your own thread lady

Prayers up for you OP. Whatever you're going through, it's temporary, though it doesn't seem that way now. I'm glad to see you posting again.

Such good comments on this thread (mostly). For everyone who has been used and abused, or battling addiction, I send my love to you all. We all have our battles and our demons.

This world is hopeless but it will pass away. Lean hard on whatever spiritual diety you prefer. This life will seem like a dream when we cross over to eternity.

No, I'm male.

Thing is, once someone betrays you, your trust, your commitment to each other, it is all over. There is no chance of trust again. I would find that impossible. There would always be doubt. There was obviously no love if they betrayed you. I wouldn't want a relation where there's no love or trust.

I remained single after the divorce. Committed myself to raising 3 kids as a single father. I'm 65 now and still single. I now live alone out in the countryside in the middle of a large forest. My only relationship now is with my hobbies and 14 once feral but now domesticated cats. I enticed them out of the forest and we quickly became friends.

I am happy. I'm healthy. No issues or complications in my life. I've 11 grandchild now. They all live within a 60 to 90 minute drive away. They love to visit and go camping here.

I never even dated again after the divorce. That was back in 1991. I decided to just concentrate on my career and myself, my life. A simpler life. Life is good now. I earned it.

Hey we all struggle with Total Relapse sometimes.



Hang in there!

I like your story.

The best way to stop drinking, smoking, and opiates are by micro-dosing psilocybin.


I live in a decriminalized area and I can 100% assure anyone that doesn't abuse mushrooms or use them for escaping will find that it rewires the short-circuits, in our mind, from many addictive behaviors.


The other thing is that micro-dosing stops OCD, and compulsive behaviors, and nearly stops all those bad thoughts that flood our minds, in chaotic times.


There are clinics, groups, and similar in the Ann Arbor area that is popping up to teach about these things, but unfortunately, Big Pharma and useless Mental Health care protocols still exist and people still run to them. What's mind-blowing to me is before they were made illegal by that useless turd Nixon there were tons of studies dating back to the 1800s that were used frequently, in the US alone. Mushrooms go back 1000s of years in medicinal use.


I've seen alcoholics never touch another drink and smokers stop cold-turkey. Opioids are another issue though and need medical help coming off of them, but psilocybin can assist greatly.


I'd highly recommend people look into them. Another key feature of micro-dosing that everyone should know is "If you can feel any effect of the active ingredients it's too much and you'll need to dial it down a notch or two until the effect disappears, and that is the perfect dose."


It's not a miracle cure, but close to one if people use it correctly and don't abuse it.

Last Edited by Matrix Doctor on 01/08/2023 10:34 AM

Please research ibogaine, it is a natural, permanent solution to addictions

It's not.

I had a broken heart once, felt like you.

Lost my fiance & home

A year later I was getting hit on by a member of the Dream Team Chicago Bulls of 94.

A man who was in a poster on the wall of the schmuck who broke my heart.

It's been many years now, I have remarried and the broken heart is long gone, and the man who broke it never crosses my mind. Funny how that works out isn't it?

This too shall pass.

I didn't sit around doing drugs though
acting like a total loser.

I put work into myself physically to become the best of my A Game. You will reap what you sow.
If you want to drugs and end up homeless so be it.

If you hit the gym and work three jobs - women will be lined up around the block.

Your move Op. Your future.

True. Detachment is a very necessary skill.