I almost let my divorce kill me……

My 1st husband would hit me. i used to hide it from family. i even put cover-up makeup on the bruises when i'd see my family or friends or work.

i broke down one evening to my favorite uncle on my father's side. he came over to our home with 2 of my other uncles...his brothers...and they spoke to my husband about it while i was asked to be elsewhere in the house.

they didn't beat him but what they said to him made our divorce very easy. i now have a great man.

12 years. Together from 18-29. Still can’t believe it. I relapsed HARD. Fentanyl is a hell of a drug and it’s so hard to bounce back from a depression like that. I was put into court ordered treatment I was such a danger to myself. Relapsed 10 days ago, had a gun in one hand and a bottle in the other. I think drinking myself into a blackout within 2 hours was the best thing to ever happen to me. I felt a bit of peace today for the first time in soooo long.

Yeah, pretty sure the OP is a girl:
men harbor no such deep emotions, ever.
Men don't care about women.

Girlfriend: he's not worth it!
Cannot comprehend giving your body and emotions this strongly to another person.

OP: learn where you END! Where that other person begins
should be nowhere near you.

Have you learnt nothing? SIX FEET!!!! Distance, I mean, not underground, LOL!

Oh and totally do NOT understand what pills have to do with a divorce. Where you addicted to this dude?
READ: Is it Love or Is it Addiction by iforgotwho.

Oh and next time, try a couple of kitten videos on YT, instead of a bottle of pills.

No, I'm male.

Thing is, once someone betrays you, your trust, your commitment to each other, it is all over. There is no chance of trust again. I would find that impossible. There would always be doubt. There was obviously no love if they betrayed you. I wouldn't want a relation where there's no love or trust.

I remained single after the divorce. Committed myself to raising 3 kids as a single father. I'm 65 now and still single. I now live alone out in the countryside in the middle of a large forest. My only relationship now is with my hobbies and 14 once feral but now domesticated cats. I enticed them out of the forest and we quickly became friends.

I am happy. I'm healthy. No issues or complications in my life. I've 11 grandchild now. They all live within a 60 to 90 minute drive away. They love to visit and go camping here.

I never even dated again after the divorce. That was back in 1991. I decided to just concentrate on my career and myself, my life. A simpler life. Life is good now. I earned it.

The best way to stop drinking, smoking, and opiates are by micro-dosing psilocybin.


I live in a decriminalized area and I can 100% assure anyone that doesn't abuse mushrooms or use them for escaping will find that it rewires the short-circuits, in our mind, from many addictive behaviors.

The other thing is that micro-dosing stops OCD, and compulsive behaviors, and nearly stops all those bad thoughts that flood our minds, in chaotic times.

I feel for you man. Hang in there. It can be done. You can make it. You don’t have to throw your life away. Never let your guard down because you are in a lifelong struggle now.

Similar shit happened to me. Not from the divorce of my wife of 18 years but my partner of 12 years after my wife, when she left me, I went into a tailspin. She is the love of my life.

I used for years when I was younger but was able to stop for a while. I was clean-ish when I met her. The last 5 years or so of the relationship I started using regularly again. Unfortunately not dope, hydro, or Oxy, which I’ve always been able to kick no problem, but rather Fentanyl.

Fentanyl is fucking brutal to kick. I tried, constantly for years. When she left she said she loves me and would never judge me but the paths we were on at that moment were too divergent and she couldn't watch me kill myself any longer. I think the 5 OD’s, where she called for an ambulance the first 2 and brought me back herself with CPR the last 3 was probably a bit too much for her.

For about a year after she left I didn't try to stop anymore. Then finally something happened that woke me up. I definitely should have been dead. I can’t attribute it to anything other than either divine intervention or pure blind dumb luck.

In any case, I decided to quit cold turkey. Do you know how bad, and how long, withdrawals are from quitting a year's long Fentanyl habit cold turkey? Normally when I kicked straight dope my withdrawals would be 3 days of about 5 to 6 on the COWS scale. Maybe a day and a half once suboxone started to be a thing.

When I quit Fentanyl cold turkey the worst of the withdraws, about 8 to 12 on the COWS scale, lasted 18 days. I couldn’t eat for 10 days and had to force sips of water every couple of days. The next 7 to 8 days I only ”ate” a half cup of chicken broth a day. Finally, after 18 days, I was no longer puking every 20 minutes and my muscles were no longer spasming. My blood pressure was still going up and down, freezing on second sweating the next, though not as severe and not as quickly.

It took a full month for most of the physical symptoms to subside; blood pressure to finally regulate, withdraw sneezes to go from 6 to 7 in a row to an occasional 1 to 2, my nerve endings to function properly, sleep to become more regular, etc. Though it took 2 months for my pupils to dialate properly.

After going through all that I believe I did receive divine intervention because as hard as it was, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, it was easy. I could have called any number of people who would have come to me to drop off a fix. I never even had a thought to call anybody.

Also, the thing that blows my mind to this day, I never once then, or now, had 1 using dream. You know the dreams you have when you are kicking about going to score, a pile of it laying on a table in front of you, or pushing that plunger down, only to wake up before you can get it, use it, or feel it? If I had those like normal I don’t know if it would have broke me. But I didn't, not 1 dream. I can’t explain it.

Anyway, for me personally, I know my battle isn't over if I’ve got a year or two sober under my belt. My battle is life long. So until I felt I was strong enough to be around people or places where I knew it ”could” be around I had to bail.

The best way to stop drinking, smoking, and opiates are by micro-dosing psilocybin.


I live in a decriminalized area and I can 100% assure anyone that doesn't abuse mushrooms or use them for escaping will find that it rewires the short-circuits, in our mind, from many addictive behaviors.


The other thing is that micro-dosing stops OCD, and compulsive behaviors, and nearly stops all those bad thoughts that flood our minds, in chaotic times.


There are clinics, groups, and similar in the Ann Arbor area that is popping up to teach about these things, but unfortunately, Big Pharma and useless Mental Health care protocols still exist and people still run to them. What's mind-blowing to me is before they were made illegal by that useless turd Nixon there were tons of studies dating back to the 1800s that were used frequently, in the US alone. Mushrooms go back 1000s of years in medicinal use.


I've seen alcoholics never touch another drink and smokers stop cold-turkey. Opioids are another issue though and need medical help coming off of them, but psilocybin can assist greatly.


I'd highly recommend people look into them. Another key feature of micro-dosing that everyone should know is "If you can feel any effect of the active ingredients it's too much and you'll need to dial it down a notch or two until the effect disappears, and that is the perfect dose."


It's not a miracle cure, but close to one if people use it correctly and don't abuse it.