WOW - I’ve been invited to join The Illuminati !!!!

Lucky you. All I get in my email is a bunch of women who are desperate to have sex with me.

Ha! We are kings among men, my friend!

Dear One Star Peasant,

Once my membership in the illuminati is complete, I will have total and complete access to identify you immediately. You have been warned! *















* Sarcasm

likely will cost 59.99 but you will get the entire weath of a nigerian king afterward! send them the money, nothing is free in this world.

Said no one ever

pretty good there LARPhillips

did the email come complete with a "send money/membership dues to me in Nigeria" line in it?

yup sounds official

Bring your checkbook

This was the entirety of my invitation. I can only imagine the untold riches and power will be flowing my way.

And no, my friend, this isn’t the Nigerian branch of the illuminati. The e-mail originated from India, which is obviously the most powerful.

It takes money to make money, amiright?

Did they ran out of toilet cleaners?

FYI - just for fun, I responded (using a brand new, throwaway e-mail account.) I’ve not heard back yet. I’ll post whatever I get.

They better not! I demand nothing but the finest of toilet facilities when I ascend to my illuminated greatness!

Well, you get 5 stars for the answer.


Ran out of green karma:(

nigerian scammer

Lots of fake illuminati websites want your money.

You don't have to be anybody to join a satanic cult.They'll recruit homeless people just the same.

too late, he shit his pants

LOL…I ask for neither, but I appreciate the gesture, as well as running with the humor.

Oh, but that’s part of their test…to KNOW you belong.

the vatican does not send e mails,

that is where the illuminati reside

And to think I knew you when you were just normal(?) like the rest of us!!

When you ascend, can you give me the winning numbers of the lottery?

You must be in their bloodline at least

I will remember your kindness and humility, and bestow gifts accordingly.

Minions! They are nothing but minions and will wash my feet.

You must be a complete cocksucker.

Ha! Not my garbage blood…

I will enjoy watching you wither and suffer.

Oh thank you, Grand Poobah!