'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson

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'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson
pi3 Offer Upgrade User ID: 20063747 Canada 07/29/2015 02:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT "They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "Meat. They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat." "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?" "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines." "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact." "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines." "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat." "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat." "Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage." "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?" "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside." "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through." "No brain?" "Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you." "So ... what does the thinking?" "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat." "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!" "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?" "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat." "Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years." "Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?" "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual." "We're supposed to talk to meat." "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing." "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?" "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat." "I thought you just told me they used radio." "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?" "Officially or unofficially?" "Both." "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing." "I was hoping you would say that." "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?" "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?" "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact." "So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe." "That's it." "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?" "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them." "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream." "And we marked the entire sector unoccupied." "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?" "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again." "They always come around." "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..." .... Author's note: (Thanks for your interest in my work. If you enjoyed this little piece, please give a dollar to a homeless person.) .... .... "If there is evil in this world, does it have mercy?" [link to s328.photobucket.com] <-- some artwork --:~:

Anonymous Coward User ID: 54978410 United States 07/29/2015 02:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson reminds me of the book Year Zero
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6406905 Canada 07/29/2015 02:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT "They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "Meat. They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat." "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?" "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines." "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact." "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines." "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat." "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat." "Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage." "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?" "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside." "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through." "No brain?" "Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you." "So ... what does the thinking?" "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat." "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!" "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?" "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat." "Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years." "Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?" "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual." "We're supposed to talk to meat." "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing." "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?" "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat." "I thought you just told me they used radio." "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?" "Officially or unofficially?" "Both." "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing." "I was hoping you would say that." "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?" "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?" "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact." "So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe." "That's it." "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?" "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them." "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream." "And we marked the entire sector unoccupied." "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?" "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again." "They always come around." "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..." .... Author's note: (Thanks for your interest in my work. If you enjoyed this little piece, please give a dollar to a homeless person.) .... Quoting: pi3 I used to watch this short film everyday for a good laugh. Thanks for the reminder.
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6406905 Canada 07/29/2015 02:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson :ondope: Quoting: Chip Chip, look it up. It's a short film. Good for a weird kind of laugh.

Anonymous Coward User ID: 69901035 Germany 07/29/2015 02:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson Man this peace of shit called Mr.Bisson can just suck my tube
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6406905 Canada 07/29/2015 03:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson :ondope: Quoting: Chip Chip, look it up. It's a short film. Good for a weird kind of laugh. Quoting: Wash Lol...will do. Quoting: Chip This is the one I've watched: [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
KipKat User ID: 25952351 Netherlands 07/29/2015 03:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson :kkwapper:

Anonymous Coward User ID: 55433249 Canada 07/29/2015 05:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson Nice meat.
Sarah Conner User ID: 8177977 United States 07/29/2015 06:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson lol. That's one of my very favorite short stories. Thanks!
pi3 (OP) User ID: 20063747 Canada 07/29/2015 08:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson Quoting: Chip Chip, look it up. It's a short film. Good for a weird kind of laugh. Quoting: Wash Lol...will do. Quoting: Chip agreed, many thanks Wash Not sure why this story popped up in my mind today but I read it from a middle school textbook IIRC; it made me uncomfortable at the time, but I now realize Bisson's 'gimme': that they'd have a word for (or concept describing) 'meat' in the general sense, at all. Curiouser the more I think about it .... "If there is evil in this world, does it have mercy?" [link to s328.photobucket.com] <-- some artwork --:~:
Anonymous Coward User ID: 69020485 Canada 07/29/2015 08:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson We are meat now, but soon very soon METAL OR OTHER MATERIAL.
Anonymous Coward 07/29/2015 08:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson Yep, this made me cry.
Anonymous Coward 07/29/2015 08:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson We're meat bodies with mushroom brains. To clarify.

Anonymous Coward 07/29/2015 08:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson This should be part of a story called "Something Eats Humans". What eats humans is almost parasitic in nature, but also thought to be fungal.
Darkside Cookies User ID: 54939849 Canada 07/29/2015 08:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation	Re: 'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson Five stars! Love me some meat! GO JETS GO!! *Posted from Canada*
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'They're made out of meat' by Terry Bisson