What is the absolute strangest thing that you have ever seen that no one else could POSSIBLY beleive?

Isn't it interesting that such simple statements can bring on a visceral reaction? You were ready to hear this, but it isn't easy, I know.

It's time for you to harvest the fruits of remaining faithful. For each of these experiences was a test to you. But there's something that you're missing, and I'll tell you what that is.

You have passed the test. Again and again, you have passed the test.

So my question to you, and the question for your lifetime this time around is this... why must you keep testing yourself when you've already passed the test?

Look at your life, as it is, as it was... why do you keep testing?

You have the option this time around to step out and have the rewards of your continued faithfulness to your soul's highest calling.

But you must be willing to control your thoughts and cease to let the predominant thought be "Do I deserve it?"

The answer has been 'yes' every time and still you ask the question!

So now when your mind continuously asks you this question, you have an answer to give it. Next time you want the last brownie and think "I don't deserve it", change your tune.

Perhaps the hardest thing for humans to say is, "Yes, I do deserve it."

I just as well tell you that you built the Taj Mahal.

And yet, time and again you've proven your faithfulness, yet time and again you ask if you deserve it. For the love of all things holy, child, what would it take for you to deserve it; you were one of the most pious popes of all time and started cleaning house and were killed for it, and you STILL aren't worthy?

Think about that very seriously. Why your stubborn aversion to accepting the idea to answering the question "Are you faithful to what is right and true" with "yes"? How long before it's okay for you to take that last brownie??

Many thanks Sandi, you have put some of my problems into perspective. I have always strongly felt that I do not belong here on Earth and yearn to be back in my comfort zone. I have attempted to take my life once and wish that it had worked so I can get out of this awful place.
I have come to accept that I must let time take it's course before I can return to where I feel I belong. I have lived a long hard life but always given and helped others before consideration to myself and those close to me.
I hope some day I can be in a place full of people like you, I thank you again and hope your remaining years on this planet are kinder to you. You are a special person.

I'm sorry, I know it's hard for you. You were in a different place than most of us. This is the first time you've experienced the privation of being human. Coming from Home to this place renders your soul very lonely and confused... and that's if you've been here many, many times before and have 'gotten used to it'!

You have a beautiful purpose here. I hope one day you realize how precious you are.

Thank you Sandi. I am feeling the exact same things I am feeling in this life that I was feeling in the life you highlighted. Is that because I have to learn the same lessons because I committed suicide or it has just followed me through lifetimes because I felt so deeply about it (That I can't protect/save my family)? Even though I committed suicide after I learned these lessons? Thank you.

It followed you, and that was part of the set-up. Your lesson from it is to understand that your family is not there for you to protect. They are there for you to love, day in and day out. If they are gone one day, it is unavoidable.

But if they are gone one day, will you feel like you loved them enough while they were here? (Protection is your way of expressing love, but did it work last time?)

Do you feel that way right now? Right now, do you feel you've loved them enough and made it clear enough to them that you love them?

Is keeping them alive the greater success, or is success in the quality of the time you have with them?

Questions for you to ponder, not to answer.

Last Edited by Sandi_T on 07/09/2012 02:49 PM

Sandi,

Your heart is so big and open, that it is impossible to not be inspired by its glow. Thank you. My life has been entrenched with insecurity and self-doubt. Is this a punishment for my actions during a previous incarnation? Thank you again for your wisdom and all else that you do.

Love.

No more requests, please.





Hi d'architect. No, this is not a punishment. And yes, you have decided in the past that perhaps it's better not to see. That 'what I don't know won't hurt me'.

But really, the feelings of insecurity and self-doubt are residuals. They come from a time when you expected great things of yourself that were... well, honestly? Not very realistic.

You expected yourself to deliver the world and when you only delivered part of it, you 'failed' and it wasn't good enough. As a General in a conquering nation, most was not enough.

The Roman Empire expanded across the known world (at the time) and yet you saw it as a failure when you lost control over an important pass. Elephants couldn't be anticipated, but you didn't let that stop you from feeling shame for the defeat. You tried to die there, going down with the ship and all that... but alas. You were captured and tortured.

A grand failure for a man who helped conquer a world, eh? This life had effected almost all of the other ones, and there's one thing that you refuse to accept as possible.

What if failure isn't in what you leave behind, but is in what you accomplish now? What if what is meaningful in life isn't "leaving a legacy" so much as it is in being happy and joyous right now?

Perhaps appreciating what you HAVE accomplished, and allowing yourself to appreciate them, is more important to the world than beating yourself up for not doing more, bigger, better, faster, further?

It's YOU who judges that nothing is ever enough. You must come to understand that. Your route to freedom and to feeling better is understanding who is the actual judge, jury, and executioner of your hope and happiness.

You think that others judge you, but how can they? They'd have to be 10x the assholes they are to ever approach how hard you are on yourself!

How can you be anything but insecure? You've got someone following you around all day telling you that you're not good enough, not doing enough, not accomplishing enough. Hint: It's you.

Talk to yourself like you're someone else for a change!

Thank you Sandi, so much what you have offered here is felt with so much gratitude. Truth is in this life I have not done such a good job, so many talents but never able to grow them and develop them in a way that brings both peace and security to me and those around me. Well it does for a while but then it always seems to fall apart, LOL.

I am now at another crossroads, and need to find a way to develop a path that brings me joy and pays the bill, the later i seemed to always have problems with, as practical and planing seem to escape me. have no clear idea in which direction I should head or how I can even make it work, but I thank you from my heart for this reading. Still shaking a bit, but maybe now knowing this something will open up and guide me how and in which way to move forward.

Many thanks, and though you need nothing, if there is a way I can pay your kindness back, by helping someone else I will do so in my mind at least in your name.

I know this sound crazy, but I almost feel I could cry. not in a bad way simply just cry

You are judging yourself based on this lifetime, but you're a soul. You're so much more than you see.

No, it's not crazy to feel like crying. With the reading comes an energy gift of love. That love is from God. It's normal for it to bring tears, because it is pure love and we don't get to experience it that directly very often.

Now I want a look inside of it :)


I was in a ceremony that I swear was at skull and bones when I was a kid. It was long and somewhat tedious. While I'm sure there was some big amazing meaning to it, I didn't notice because I was too busy being annoyed about who got what offering to bring up to the front.

2 male pigeons having homo sex ...

A car runing on 3 wheels and driver did not notice he lost one ..


A horse fucking a cow ... (hard)

Anothe car who ost ebgine and did not notice untill he ren out of movementc

I saw a cartoon as a small child about three princess-type sisters who lived in a castle with their father. The main part I still remember is that during the middle of the night in girl's room, their floor lit up and cracked and a 'handsome' type of guy came out of the floor. They followed him downstairs to a type of masquerade ball and they saw that these handsome people were really devil-like. I don't remember the conclusion or any other details of the cartoon.
I swear this is true, I've told a couple of people about how messed up of a cartoon it was and how I remember it vividly and it creeps me out. It looked like a cheap/generic cartoon, like it was made in Russia or something. It wasn't on TV, I remember having owned it and never wanting to watch it again. I wonder who played it for me?
Also as a child I would dream of getting phone calls from an uncle who died almost 15 years before I was born. They say I'm just like him.. kind of creeps me out.
I've had several strange things happen to me all my life and can connect with the "mentally gifted" thread on here as well.

It does get exhausting. But it's also rewarding at times. Thank you for your patience.

* * * *

It takes a special soul to enter this world and be, for lack of a better term, 'the bad guy'. Isn't that a strange idea? That it takes more spiritual 'power' to be the bad one than the good one?

It's infrequent that I encounter someone who was famous or especially influential. Unfortunately, not everyone who was famous is someone that a person would wish to have been. I know you've often felt that, thought to yourself, "I must have been someone really bad in my past life to deserve this".

This is a common thought, but it's not actually a spiritually appropriate one. There's no sense in telling you who you were, for it was a very long time ago. And it was spiritually appropriate that you should do what you did. It sounds foreign and you feel like you should be punished. To do evil things is to invite punishment, in human terms of thought.

Yet what you did led to much growth and healing. Strange, is it not? Spiritual growth came from you, because you were a powerful catalyst. An entire region's spiritual direction changed, growth was powerful, even monumental.

Even as you died, though, you asked your advisor who sat beside you, "What have I done?" You didn't understand how you could have done any of that. You didn't understand how your actions brought the positive changes that they did. You hated yourself... and that was the life that you lived. Filled with self-loathing and self-destructive habits.

Still this concept follows you, this terrible sense of impending doom that comes from the requirement to distance yourself from God. In order to do such actions, we must turn our faces from the face of God. We must distance ourselves, and to do so is a tremendous pain.

People often wail that those who commit these acts 'get away with it'. And despite the emotional, psychological, and spiritual agony you experienced in that lifetime as a result of separating yourself from love... you still felt you had not suffered enough, that you can never suffer enough, that god would punish you forever.

You have taken on painful incarnation after painful incarnation; being a self-flagellating monk in one life, a raped chambermaid in another life, and on the list goes... all in 'penance' for being a powerful catalyst for spiritual change for others.

I have sat and spoke with a couple before. The man had cheated twenty years ago, and he'd done his best to pay for it. He had tried and tried to compensate for his actions, and still his wife was angry with him.

I looked at them both, and I asked this question, which I ask now of you... "How long is long enough?"

How much must you pay? How long must you accept the guilt and shame of a long distant lifetime?

Your punishment is of yourself. You have more than paid your dues. But you must first forgive yourself. No one else holds any of this against you. It's all you. It's all your own choice to punish yourself, to hate yourself, to denigrate yourself.

You can be free of the pain only when you forgive yourself, no matter how silly or insignificant your action was that you hold yourself constantly accountable for. You take the tiniest things in this life and blow them up into massive lead balloons and beat yourself up emotionally for them.

You may have given up the physical scourging, but you're still doing the emotional scourging.

Yet what you don't understand is that you've already paid in misery. You've paid your dues and you've done it lifetime after lifetime after lifetime.

It's time to let go and stop hating yourself. You are a precious, beautiful soul who gave a gift in disguise. You are a treasured, beloved soul who IS a gift in disguise.

You are not a burden. You are a precious living thing who brings wonder and value and magic to this world. You must let go of your self-hatred and welcome yourself to this world. You bring more wonderful things to the world than you can ever know.

The punishment comes from you. So does the 'redemption' of your self-hatred. Only you are angry with your own soul. God is not angry with you and is not punishing you.

It's God's desire that you be rich, and live with hope and joy and all good things.

I forgive you. Can you?

Thank you. No denying something really deep happened when I read what you wrote. My mum being a staunch catholic would be proud to know I had been pope, although her faith does not allow her to believe in such things. LOL such is life.

Again thank you and what a gift you have. I know you have suffered much to have it, but an incredible gift it is. Maybe not so much for you, but for all those that are touched by it. I guess I will see what direction life takes this time, but I certainly don't want to die for it. Although funny thing is even in this last life I have been driven to discover, research and find the truth in so many things from religion, politics to our monetary system. Having found them all corrupt and a cesspit of lies, it is odd my current partner does not want to hear about it preferring to keep their head firmly planted deep in the sand, lol. Maybe they had me done away with in a past life, LOL.

For now my goal is more simple how to keep a roof over my head and food on the table. You are an inspiration in courage. xoxoxo

Hello Sandi T. I've been on conspiracy sites reading for years and this is the best tread yet!
Usually i just lurk around,It's nice to know how people cope with their problems that most would not understand.To be honest I'm scared to even post,im shaking at moment lol.
Would you be kind to give me a past life reading?
Also a reading on my current life and why things are the way they are.If you reply, can i also ask you a few more questions?I know I'm asking for much and I'm sorry.Thank you Sandi.

Great thread, lots of interesting stories.

Personally, I don't think I've had any interesting past lives so I won't even ask. lol

Two stories of mine that no one believes:
When I was 11, I saw a silent, dark cigar-shaped UFO slowly cross the sky one evening, completely awed, just a few seconds after my mother and my neighbours left me in the backyard. I ran to my mother to tell her excitedly what I had seen. She didn't believe me at all.

Around the same age, I saw the ghost of my dead grandmother as I walked into my bedroom. She was sitting on the bed of my parents' bedroom (the door was open and next to mine).
Her mouth was hanging open, she was in her nightdress and she was staring at me.
I saw her image just one or two seconds, turned my head before realizing what I had just seen, and when I looked back, she was gone.
I still don't know if I was hallucinating or something. I wasn't thinking of her when this happened and she had died 5 years before that.
The weird thing is that this vision didn't even frightened me, I was just surprised, I wasn't expecting it at all.

Oops, double post...

I should have logged in before trying to edit my post hahaha.



Anyway, I stop spamming this wonderful thread.

One day, about 4 months ago, I was at the bus station waiting for a bus, and an old black man I'd seen around town for years sat next to me and asked if he could use my phone to call a ride for himself.

He had bad cataracts in both eyes, this was something I had always noticed about him. He was always laughing and joking, even though he couldn't really even see.

He tried to give me some money, I refused of course, and we spent the next 20 minutes talking about life.

He had some great stories, both in his words and the wrinkles and scars in his skin, and I wished him the best when my bus came.

About a month later, I was riding the bus to the grocery store, and he was sitting across the aisle from me.

What I noticed about him was that his cataracts were gone.

I mentioned that his eyes looked very different, and he got real excited and started talking a mile a minute, I couldn't understand what he was saying, partially from the noise of the bus, and partially due to the fact that he had no teeth.

I thought back to the remission of cancer that I had that one night back in February, and reminded myself that god does indeed work in mysterious ways.

Whether he got surgery, or was healed like I was, I'll probably never know.

seems to me you should have turned left or right
destiny had a date with you i think
wonder what it was?

my first impression of this was that he saw the future

I have a story that no one will believe.

About 11 years ago, this BBC reporter announced that World Trade Center Building 7 had collapsed even though it was still standing and plainly visible right behind her!

Shortly thereafter, it did collapse on it's own footprint at freefall speeds -- just like an imploded Vegas casino -- even though it had never been hit by a plane or even heavily damaged.

But to this day, some gullible Americans still think Osama bin Laden was responsible for 9/11.

How's THAT for unbelievable?

Blessings to you, Sandi T.
As I spent the afternoon reading your story, I want to tell you that my heart goes out to you. An unimaginable life... one filled with unbeatable courage and grace. I hope that wherever this life leads you -- incredible blessings are yours. Every woman should read about your spirit and determination. Thank you for sharing it.
Love and Light!
AV

Sandi,

From my heart I am asking for a past life reading. I just started reading this thread tonight and have been blown away by the thread itself (and its many contributors) as well as the help you've so freely given. I have a lot of past life issues I grapple with but no frame of reference for much of it. It's very difficult and leaves me feeling a bit, um, nutty at times with so little validation of what I think/feel/know/don't know. I've had many, many paranormal experiences and, once I'm through reading the thread, I'll be sharing some of them. In return I'd more than thrilled to send you all the love and blessings I can muster (something I am good at when I focus with intent which I will with your permission, of course).

Thank you so much for the consideration and many, many hugs to you!

The 2008 presidential election. You can't make this stuff up!

After reading the whole tread only to find out that i wont get a reading i figure I'd share a strange happening after my grampa's passing.
My Pappy,who meant the world to me. passed away when I thirteen.Even before he drew his last breath,his kids were fighting over his possessions and wealth.
He always wore this Toronto Maple leafs hat that had beads over the logo.It was his signature hat.The last time i seen him alive,my dad and I just had a fight,and i left the house mad.He just happen to pull up in the driveway as i was leaving and he said "hows Paulie?"I almost blurted out"fuck you!" because i was all fired up.But i managed to hold it in and walked on by without saying a word.Hurts me to think about it,but that's the last time i would ever see him alive again
.
When we gotten word of his passing I was sad,but it didn't even hit me that hard, like i thought it would.That is till the day of his funeral.Everything just came out.I've just lost my rock.The one person i thought was immortal was just a man after all.I cried my heart out.The church was packed!People had to wait outside till there was room in the church to pay their respects.
While i was looking around at all the people, close to the end of the serves i noticed a man in the third,forth row who looked exactly like my Pappy.he even wore the Toronto maple leafs hat with the beads on it.He would look around every now and then at the people.Only logical thing i could come up with was that he had a twin brother i never knew he had lol.Honestly,i felt jealous this man had my Pappys favorite hat on.i actually wanted it myself cause of the bond we had.I Knew it was not polite to stare so i would look every so often.When we were paying our last respects,he was standing up font,shaking peoples hands,smiling.
Seeing him lying peacefully in his coffin confirmed his passing.His "twin" was not there to shake my hand.Nor was he there at the feast after the services.
I've never talked about this to my family much.I denied it for so long.Now i just accept it as truth.I don't think i was ready at the time to see him go.I think he wanted me to know that life goes on and I'll be ok.Right now i struggle with the demons of my past.things that are under my control.This story and my son keep me going.
One step at a time.
PEACE EVERYONE.