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| 07:19 AM | ||
BREAKING!!!!! A STORM IS COMING. | |
| daretospeak
Offer Upgrade  User ID: 2694852  United Kingdom10/05/2011 08:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Hitndahedfred
User ID: 826012  United States10/05/2011 08:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 5 stars and ,,,,,, A compliment,, GOOD STUFF  Each time a person stands for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he or she sends forth a tiny ripple of hope. And crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance. Few are willing to embrace the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change. [Robert F. Kennedy] [link to www.stricklychopped.com] [link to www.ghi-engrs.com] |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2694852 United Kingdom10/05/2011 08:53 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 2693400  India10/05/2011 08:55 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2694852 United Kingdom10/05/2011 08:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 2691100 United States10/05/2011 08:58 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Ravan
User ID: 1163760  Netherlands10/05/2011 08:59 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2694852 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:00 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I gotta say your poem really struck me, considering at this moment I am up on the highest hill around me in the woods watching a flock of black birds (ravens? Not a bird expert) circle around right in front of Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2691100 me  I hope you have good human company right about now lol. Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| aloy3313 User ID: 1090749 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:04 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When Gold hits $1117 per scrap Quoting: daretospeak and bananas per kilo top $59.99 an order for cigarettes will breach $330, know we've crossed the demarcation line. A storm approaches with forewarning The black hawk, surveying the sheep Super soldiers march at morning Etching a motif, while you sleep. None shall enter the chambers within Unless he bares the motif of skin Better you head for the highest of hills To hide from the order of government shills. Mass hysteria, far and far wide Which way is up? And who moved the tide? Run from the rain, of fire from the skies I've tried to warn you, will you open your eyes? This much I say, this much is true! We must see red, but first see blue. Thirst and hunger, plague and flu Must come to pass before He makes all things new. (c) TROY JONES 2011 Thats me...yes I wrote this. Post originally with title 'a poem I wrote' or some other shit title = ZERO response Repost or edit title to something a little bit mysterious and doomy = 'hope you have human contact', etc replies from full on GLP addicted morons !! crap poem as well |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1433040 United States10/05/2011 09:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A bit hackneyed with the rhymes, but good alteration of the rhyme scheme within each stanza. Also like the varied meter/syllables per line in each stanza. Stanza 4 is the best: 9 syllables, 9 syllables, 9 syllables, and forth line....oh yeah...11 syllables. Also, "Run from the rain, of fire from the skies" is a great paradox or juxtaposition--since the Fukushima disaster "the fire from the skies" is "the rain." Weird but true. Nice work, Troy. Also, may work as a song: grab a melody and throw a few chords in there, and you're ready for the coffee house (no joke). |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2694852 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When Gold hits $1117 per scrap Quoting: daretospeak and bananas per kilo top $59.99 an order for cigarettes will breach $330, know we've crossed the demarcation line. A storm approaches with forewarning The black hawk, surveying the sheep Super soldiers march at morning Etching a motif, while you sleep. None shall enter the chambers within Unless he bares the motif of skin Better you head for the highest of hills To hide from the order of government shills. Mass hysteria, far and far wide Which way is up? And who moved the tide? Run from the rain, of fire from the skies I've tried to warn you, will you open your eyes? This much I say, this much is true! We must see red, but first see blue. Thirst and hunger, plague and flu Must come to pass before He makes all things new. (c) TROY JONES 2011 Thats me...yes I wrote this. Post originally with title 'a poem I wrote' or some other shit title = ZERO response Repost or edit title to something a little bit mysterious and doomy = 'hope you have human contact', etc replies from full on GLP addicted morons !! crap poem as well Funny that....but it worked. Jealous much hahahaha Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2694852 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A bit hackneyed with the rhymes, but good alteration of the rhyme scheme within each stanza. Also like the varied meter/syllables per line in each stanza. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1433040 Stanza 4 is the best: 9 syllables, 9 syllables, 9 syllables, and forth line....oh yeah...11 syllables. Also, "Run from the rain, of fire from the skies" is a great paradox or juxtaposition--since the Fukushima disaster "the fire from the skies" is "the rain." Weird but true. Nice work, Troy. Also, may work as a song: grab a melody and throw a few chords in there, and you're ready for the coffee house (no joke). Why thankyou kindly...That would have to be the best critisism I have ever had. Unfortunately...my ability to translate my writtings to song is not so good at all. Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1433040 United States10/05/2011 09:09 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When Gold hits $1117 per scrap Quoting: daretospeak and bananas per kilo top $59.99 an order for cigarettes will breach $330, know we've crossed the demarcation line. A storm approaches with forewarning The black hawk, surveying the sheep Super soldiers march at morning Etching a motif, while you sleep. None shall enter the chambers within Unless he bares the motif of skin Better you head for the highest of hills To hide from the order of government shills. Mass hysteria, far and far wide Which way is up? And who moved the tide? Run from the rain, of fire from the skies I've tried to warn you, will you open your eyes? This much I say, this much is true! We must see red, but first see blue. Thirst and hunger, plague and flu Must come to pass before He makes all things new. (c) TROY JONES 2011 Thats me...yes I wrote this. Post originally with title 'a poem I wrote' or some other shit title = ZERO response Repost or edit title to something a little bit mysterious and doomy = 'hope you have human contact', etc replies from full on GLP addicted morons !! crap poem as well Any support for why you think it's crap? Example: the word "motif" doesn't quite work here. Seems not as accurate. Can't etch a motif. And motif of skin? What does that mean? It's still not crap, and no peom is ever finished. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 619959  Canada10/05/2011 09:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 2525944 United States10/05/2011 09:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When Gold hits $1117 per scrap Quoting: daretospeak and bananas per kilo top $59.99 an order for cigarettes will breach $330, know we've crossed the demarcation line. A storm approaches with forewarning The black hawk, surveying the sheep Super soldiers march at morning Etching a motif, while you sleep. None shall enter the chambers within Unless he bares the motif of skin Better you head for the highest of hills To hide from the order of government shills. Mass hysteria, far and far wide Which way is up? And who moved the tide? Run from the rain, of fire from the skies I've tried to warn you, will you open your eyes? This much I say, this much is true! We must see red, but first see blue. Thirst and hunger, plague and flu Must come to pass before He makes all things new. (c) TROY JONES 2011 Thats me...yes I wrote this.     ... |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2694852 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When Gold hits $1117 per scrap Quoting: daretospeak and bananas per kilo top $59.99 an order for cigarettes will breach $330, know we've crossed the demarcation line. A storm approaches with forewarning The black hawk, surveying the sheep Super soldiers march at morning Etching a motif, while you sleep. None shall enter the chambers within Unless he bares the motif of skin Better you head for the highest of hills To hide from the order of government shills. Mass hysteria, far and far wide Which way is up? And who moved the tide? Run from the rain, of fire from the skies I've tried to warn you, will you open your eyes? This much I say, this much is true! We must see red, but first see blue. Thirst and hunger, plague and flu Must come to pass before He makes all things new. (c) TROY JONES 2011 Thats me...yes I wrote this. Post originally with title 'a poem I wrote' or some other shit title = ZERO response Repost or edit title to something a little bit mysterious and doomy = 'hope you have human contact', etc replies from full on GLP addicted morons !! crap poem as well Any support for why you think it's crap? Example: the word "motif" doesn't quite work here. Seems not as accurate. Can't etch a motif. And motif of skin? What does that mean? It's still not crap, and no peom is ever finished. Motif definition, "a single or repeated design or color". In this case I used motif to describe a single design. so you can "etch a motif" A motif of skin meaning a single design etched onto the skin. Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1112577 United States10/05/2011 09:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1235200 United States10/05/2011 09:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1433040 United States10/05/2011 09:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A bit hackneyed with the rhymes, but good alteration of the rhyme scheme within each stanza. Also like the varied meter/syllables per line in each stanza. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1433040 Stanza 4 is the best: 9 syllables, 9 syllables, 9 syllables, and forth line....oh yeah...11 syllables. Also, "Run from the rain, of fire from the skies" is a great paradox or juxtaposition--since the Fukushima disaster "the fire from the skies" is "the rain." Weird but true. Nice work, Troy. Also, may work as a song: grab a melody and throw a few chords in there, and you're ready for the coffee house (no joke). Why thankyou kindly...That would have to be the best critisism I have ever had. Unfortunately...my ability to translate my writtings to song is not so good at all. You're quite welcome. Also, don't listen to people who say it's crap (like the guy/gal who posted). They're just tryin' to silence you for no reason. Robert Frost has a cool poem called "A Minor Bird." Long and short of it, this bird's singing is annoying the speaker and pissing him off. Then the speaker realizes he should never "silence any song." It has a similar meter to the way you write. He's a good poet. "Mending Wall" and "Birches are really cool, too. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" is a classic. Not sure if you've read them or heard of them, but Frost is one of the better things to cme from America, namely Vermont. [link to quotations.about.com] [link to www.online-literature.com] [link to www.poetryfoundation.org] [link to www.ketzle.com] |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1112577 United States10/05/2011 09:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I gotta say your poem really struck me, considering at this moment I am up on the highest hill around me in the woods watching a flock of black birds (ravens? Not a bird expert) circle around right in front of Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2691100 me blackbirds.. ravens don't circle oh and... excellent poem! excellent! Don't listen to the trolls and chronically depressed and negative shills that seem to plague all of mankinds finest endeavors.. |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2697709 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A bit hackneyed with the rhymes, but good alteration of the rhyme scheme within each stanza. Also like the varied meter/syllables per line in each stanza. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1433040 Stanza 4 is the best: 9 syllables, 9 syllables, 9 syllables, and forth line....oh yeah...11 syllables. Also, "Run from the rain, of fire from the skies" is a great paradox or juxtaposition--since the Fukushima disaster "the fire from the skies" is "the rain." Weird but true. Nice work, Troy. Also, may work as a song: grab a melody and throw a few chords in there, and you're ready for the coffee house (no joke). Why thankyou kindly...That would have to be the best critisism I have ever had. Unfortunately...my ability to translate my writtings to song is not so good at all. You're quite welcome. Also, don't listen to people who say it's crap (like the guy/gal who posted). They're just tryin' to silence you for no reason. Robert Frost has a cool poem called "A Minor Bird." Long and short of it, this bird's singing is annoying the speaker and pissing him off. Then the speaker realizes he should never "silence any song." It has a similar meter to the way you write. He's a good poet. "Mending Wall" and "Birches are really cool, too. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" is a classic. Not sure if you've read them or heard of them, but Frost is one of the better things to cme from America, namely Vermont. [link to quotations.about.com] [link to www.online-literature.com] [link to www.poetryfoundation.org] [link to www.ketzle.com] Nice...I'll check out the links later...11:20pm here sleep fast approaches. :) Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1433040 United States10/05/2011 09:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When Gold hits $1117 per scrap Quoting: daretospeak and bananas per kilo top $59.99 an order for cigarettes will breach $330, know we've crossed the demarcation line. A storm approaches with forewarning The black hawk, surveying the sheep Super soldiers march at morning Etching a motif, while you sleep. None shall enter the chambers within Unless he bares the motif of skin Better you head for the highest of hills To hide from the order of government shills. Mass hysteria, far and far wide Which way is up? And who moved the tide? Run from the rain, of fire from the skies I've tried to warn you, will you open your eyes? This much I say, this much is true! We must see red, but first see blue. Thirst and hunger, plague and flu Must come to pass before He makes all things new. (c) TROY JONES 2011 Thats me...yes I wrote this. Post originally with title 'a poem I wrote' or some other shit title = ZERO response Repost or edit title to something a little bit mysterious and doomy = 'hope you have human contact', etc replies from full on GLP addicted morons !! crap poem as well Any support for why you think it's crap? Example: the word "motif" doesn't quite work here. Seems not as accurate. Can't etch a motif. And motif of skin? What does that mean? It's still not crap, and no peom is ever finished. Motif definition, "a single or repeated design or color". In this case I used motif to describe a single design. so you can "etch a motif" A motif of skin meaning a single design etched onto the skin. I hear you, and your choices aren't off, but your poetry teacher would say, "Meh. Your audience isn't in your head and won't make these 'motif' connections: too cryptic for most. Also, it's repetive: keep one or the other if you must, but not both." Poeple who take peotry classes hear this shit all the time. Still cool. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1433040 United States10/05/2011 09:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A bit hackneyed with the rhymes, but good alteration of the rhyme scheme within each stanza. Also like the varied meter/syllables per line in each stanza. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1433040 Stanza 4 is the best: 9 syllables, 9 syllables, 9 syllables, and forth line....oh yeah...11 syllables. Also, "Run from the rain, of fire from the skies" is a great paradox or juxtaposition--since the Fukushima disaster "the fire from the skies" is "the rain." Weird but true. Nice work, Troy. Also, may work as a song: grab a melody and throw a few chords in there, and you're ready for the coffee house (no joke). Why thankyou kindly...That would have to be the best critisism I have ever had. Unfortunately...my ability to translate my writtings to song is not so good at all. You're quite welcome. Also, don't listen to people who say it's crap (like the guy/gal who posted). They're just tryin' to silence you for no reason. Robert Frost has a cool poem called "A Minor Bird." Long and short of it, this bird's singing is annoying the speaker and pissing him off. Then the speaker realizes he should never "silence any song." It has a similar meter to the way you write. He's a good poet. "Mending Wall" and "Birches are really cool, too. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" is a classic. Not sure if you've read them or heard of them, but Frost is one of the better things to cme from America, namely Vermont. [link to quotations.about.com] [link to www.online-literature.com] [link to www.poetryfoundation.org] [link to www.ketzle.com] Nice...I'll check out the links later...11:20pm here sleep fast approaches. :) You've gotta read Stopping by woods, before you retire...it's short. |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2697709 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: aloy3313 1090749 Post originally with title 'a poem I wrote' or some other shit title = ZERO response Repost or edit title to something a little bit mysterious and doomy = 'hope you have human contact', etc replies from full on GLP addicted morons !! crap poem as well Any support for why you think it's crap? Example: the word "motif" doesn't quite work here. Seems not as accurate. Can't etch a motif. And motif of skin? What does that mean? It's still not crap, and no peom is ever finished. Motif definition, "a single or repeated design or color". In this case I used motif to describe a single design. so you can "etch a motif" A motif of skin meaning a single design etched onto the skin. I hear you, and your choices aren't off, but your poetry teacher would say, "Meh. Your audience isn't in your head and won't make these 'motif' connections: too cryptic for most. Also, it's repetive: keep one or the other if you must, but not both." Poeple who take peotry classes hear this shit all the time. Still cool. Point taken...I'll see if I can tweek it. Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2697709 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: daretospeak Why thankyou kindly...That would have to be the best critisism I have ever had. Unfortunately...my ability to translate my writtings to song is not so good at all. You're quite welcome. Also, don't listen to people who say it's crap (like the guy/gal who posted). They're just tryin' to silence you for no reason. Robert Frost has a cool poem called "A Minor Bird." Long and short of it, this bird's singing is annoying the speaker and pissing him off. Then the speaker realizes he should never "silence any song." It has a similar meter to the way you write. He's a good poet. "Mending Wall" and "Birches are really cool, too. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" is a classic. Not sure if you've read them or heard of them, but Frost is one of the better things to cme from America, namely Vermont. [link to quotations.about.com] [link to www.online-literature.com] [link to www.poetryfoundation.org] [link to www.ketzle.com] Nice...I'll check out the links later...11:20pm here sleep fast approaches. :) You've gotta read Stopping by woods, before you retire...it's short. Ok, which link? Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| daretospeak
(OP) User ID: 2697709 United Kingdom10/05/2011 09:32 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1433040 You're quite welcome. Also, don't listen to people who say it's crap (like the guy/gal who posted). They're just tryin' to silence you for no reason. Robert Frost has a cool poem called "A Minor Bird." Long and short of it, this bird's singing is annoying the speaker and pissing him off. Then the speaker realizes he should never "silence any song." It has a similar meter to the way you write. He's a good poet. "Mending Wall" and "Birches are really cool, too. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" is a classic. Not sure if you've read them or heard of them, but Frost is one of the better things to cme from America, namely Vermont. [link to quotations.about.com] [link to www.online-literature.com] [link to www.poetryfoundation.org] [link to www.ketzle.com] Nice...I'll check out the links later...11:20pm here sleep fast approaches. :) You've gotta read Stopping by woods, before you retire...it's short. Ok, which link? Never mind, I found it. Paints a real good picture...you can almost feel it. Very simple too....very nice. Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live, but Christ now lives in me and the life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1536073 10/05/2011 09:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I gotta say your poem really struck me, considering at this moment I am up on the highest hill around me in the woods watching a flock of black birds (ravens? Not a bird expert) circle around right in front of Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2691100 me Hood up and eyes down, they are prepping for an attack, the shit will be flying fast and furious.  |
| Sul-americano User ID: 1063827  Brazil10/05/2011 10:04 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Y.B. Yeats - The Second Coming Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1433040 United States10/05/2011 10:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Y.B. Yeats - The Second Coming Quoting: Sul-americano 1063827 Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. 'Tis true, 'tis true. |
| GeekOfTheWeek
User ID: 1383040 United States10/05/2011 10:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When Gold hits $1117 per scrap Quoting: daretospeak and bananas per kilo top $59.99 an order for cigarettes will breach $330, know we've crossed the demarcation line. A storm approaches with forewarning The black hawk, surveying the sheep Super soldiers march at morning Etching a motif, while you sleep. None shall enter the chambers within Unless he bares the motif of skin Better you head for the highest of hills To hide from the order of government shills. Mass hysteria, far and far wide Which way is up? And who moved the tide? Run from the rain, of fire from the skies I've tried to warn you, will you open your eyes? This much I say, this much is true! We must see red, but first see blue. Thirst and hunger, plague and flu Must come to pass before He makes all things new. (c) TROY JONES 2011 Thats me...yes I wrote this. That's wicked cool man. I love physics. It bonds us eternally, it's what makes our computers work, it's what's in my morning cup of coffee, it's the thing that keeps the universe from vanishing due to lack of belief... |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1433040 United States10/05/2011 10:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1433040 Any support for why you think it's crap? Example: the word "motif" doesn't quite work here. Seems not as accurate. Can't etch a motif. And motif of skin? What does that mean? It's still not crap, and no peom is ever finished. Motif definition, "a single or repeated design or color". In this case I used motif to describe a single design. so you can "etch a motif" A motif of skin meaning a single design etched onto the skin. I hear you, and your choices aren't off, but your poetry teacher would say, "Meh. Your audience isn't in your head and won't make these 'motif' connections: too cryptic for most. Also, it's repetive: keep one or the other if you must, but not both." Poeple who take peotry classes hear this shit all the time. Still cool. Point taken...I'll see if I can tweek it. Remember, no poem is ever finished...just published. Keep writing for sure. |
