I just realized how it's going to go from here on out....fuck me.


I'm going to love my family, all the while I will believe they are ignorant....and I don't take a shine to immovable ignorance.

I ask myself, can they be moved?....maybe, when we get together. Maybe. But I'll have to be fighting for them - and with them - every step of the way....while walking a fucking thin line.


I honestly don't want this battle....when I think about it, that's my conclusion. I don't want it.


I know I will have accomplished something great for them, if they would at least listen to me.... but I am le tired of all of this.


I'm not sure what to do. Giving up is not my way, no matter how le tired I am.

Thinking about how the visit could go is making me sick to my stomach, thinking about how I'll have to sit there with my mouth shut, least I rock the boat.

And I know it's going to happen, because it already has during phone conversations....and I'm just unable to go off on them.

Like I said, my brother just laughs at me, and my mom screams.

I don't know what to do....