How the hell do you make poached eggs?

It takes a bit of practice is all. Make sure the egg is really fresh and room temperature.

Did you plonk the egg right in the middle of the vortex? Otherwise your eggs might not have been fresh enough?

Fresh eggs from a local farm and I cracked the egg into a small dish, stirred the water and poured the egg into the middle.

Why did you throw it out on your deck for the photo shoot?

Get pan.

Heat to boiling.

Lower heat so no bubbles then stir to create a slow whirlpool type shizzle.

Empty egg into middle and if needed use a utensil to wrap the stringy shit around the egg.

You're good.

get one of those egg cookers from Amazon. perfect every time

Link please?

Turn on saucepan medium heat
Add about 1 shot of white wine vinegar to pan followed by boiled water from kettle
Add eggs
Swirl intermittently
Viola

Its my chopping board you retard.

got to break the egg carefully, dont play with it much in the water, add salt... pray it stays together, then hook it all out with a big draining spoon, sprinkle chilli powder salt and pepper on it, smother toast in butter then eat.

get a poach chiken!!

get a cusinart egg cooker for poached eggs which you dont have to fiddle with to be perfect

Okay, but you're not really in a great position to call someone else a retard when you're the one who doesn't know how to poach an egg.

the wet mark on your chopping board looks like a man with a stoogie in his mouth and one of those winter russian hats on his head.

anyone else see that?

was thinking kore eggs beneddict or florentine myself (when i think about / hear of / make poached eggs), but may try it your way sometime.

Going on the shape of the egg white it looks like you stirred the water too vigorously so that the egg was spun in a full on vortex. The water should be stirred gently so the egg can remain at the bottom of the pan and spin gently, not get sucked up by the whirlpool effect caused by the water spinning to quickly.

I was just toying with the idea of a poached egg and this thread has sealed the deal.

Good luck I guess.

Hope you have more success than me. I had to settle for bacon, cheese, lettuce and ketchup in pita bread.

I do it this way but the hubster can't so he cheats and just uses an egg poaching pan. My reply is always the same..." Why do you use that thing and dirty dishes for me to wash? It's made for 3 eggs and you only make 2. " LoL.

Yep. ..Good Ol poached eggs! Damnit.

I just ate my perfect poached egg with paprika and chilli, now im on way to the pub. The trick is break the egg carefully into the vortex.

I don't think my eggs were fresh enough so fell apart and also lacked any real flavour which was disappointing.

Yep but the vortex has to carefully monitored for velocity or you get the nightmare scenario the op had to deal with.

Oh' well. We both are failures.

No one will tell you, but I will. The poached egg is made by first bringing water to a rolling boil preferably in a steel pot with a lid. Then, SHUT IT OFF! Drop one or two eggs into the water, cover it with the lid, wait about 3 minutes, open and take them out with a large spoon or spatula.
You don't need to add vinegar by this method. It will work.

This how egg drop soup invented.

put the egg in a soup ladel and rest it on the boiling water until it gets kind of hard then drop the sucker

Wow, that's the Kaminsky method, I didn't realise there were still students of that school of egg poaching. Controversial to say the least.