Nancy Pelosi User ID: 576799 United States 01/29/2009 01:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Economic Stimulus Payment explained Economic Stimulus Payment explained
"Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money? "A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment? "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? "A. Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.(unless you buy a Chevrolet)
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 603581 United Kingdom 01/29/2009 03:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained VERY GOOD VERY TRUE |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 553433 United States 01/29/2009 03:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 207339 South Korea 01/29/2009 03:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 449656 United States 01/29/2009 03:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained I want a yard of wind mills, a solar panel roof,a rainwater catch basin,a home fermenting unit,tabacco patch, maryjane forrest,solar battery golfcart with skis for winter, pool for fish, oh boy my neighbors will have to redesign their policy for fences and keeping up the hood decor!Maybe UI can raise them pigeons and chickens in the vacant home next to me! Neighborhood coup instead of co op! |