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Economic Stimulus Payment explained

 
Nancy Pelosi
User ID: 576799
United States
01/29/2009 01:40 PM
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Economic Stimulus Payment explained
Economic Stimulus Payment explained

"Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda

If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.(unless you buy a Chevrolet)

If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India

If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 603581
India
01/29/2009 03:01 PM
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Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained
VERY GOOD
VERY TRUE
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 553433
United States
01/29/2009 03:17 PM
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Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained
bsflag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 207339
United States
01/29/2009 03:19 PM
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Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained
lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 449656
United States
01/29/2009 03:46 PM
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Re: Economic Stimulus Payment explained
I want a yard of wind mills, a solar panel roof,a rainwater catch basin,a home fermenting unit,tabacco patch, maryjane forrest,solar battery golfcart with skis for winter, pool for fish, oh boy my neighbors will have to redesign their policy for fences and keeping up the hood decor!Maybe UI can raise them pigeons and chickens in the vacant home next to me! Neighborhood coup instead of co op!





GLP