GLPAA - GLP Addicts Anonymous

Oooo fun!

My complaint about Pres. George W Bush

I take exception to a few key aspects of Pres. George W Bush's cop-outs. Let me preface my discussion by quickly reasserting a familiar theme of my previous letters: Bush makes it sound like he is the arbiter of all things. That's the rankest sort of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that Bush is indubitably possessed by the devil. In reaching that conclusion I have made the usual assumption that what he is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly flighty activity. Bush's forces all look like Bush, think like Bush, act like Bush, and open the gates of Hell, just like Bush does. And all this in the name of -- let me see if I can get their propaganda straight -- brotherhood and service. Ha!

I warrant that it can be safely said that Bush is a sore loser. His intemperate slurs convince me of only one thing: that the people he attacks deserve compassion, not insults, put-downs, or stereotypes. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that Bush has stated that the ideas of "freedom" and "diabolism" are Siamese twins. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that hanging out with the most money-grubbing extortionists I've ever seen is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Now that's just psychotic. There are no two ways about it; he is typical of snotty lotharios in his wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize his writings. If the left of the current political spectrum is allotheism-prone, short-sighted corporatism and the right is profligate, hopeless cynicism then Bush's politics are certainly going to be a form of maledicent Pyrrhonism. Bush shows a complete lack of foresight. But don't take my word for it; ask any audacious spiv you happen to meet. I close this letter along the same lines it opened on: Pres. George W Bush's hypocrisy has reached a new low.

Wow hilarious!Talk about being accurate! That was fantastic. I especially enjoyed the parts about criminal activity.

Pakin's site clearly has supernatural qualities!

My new trend is whenever I give out greeting cards I'll add in a Pakin generated complaint letter,Priceless.

Hi,

It appears that the most verbose complaints are actually trolls using an computer generated "Automatic Complaint-Letter Generator" such as below and are not written or perhaps not even read by the poster. This needs to be revealed so that sincere readers will not be taken in by such tripe as though it were real.

The verbosity of the below post by AC 470629 was suspicious, so I Googled various phrases to look for plagiarism and instead found out about the Complaint Generator.

At first I thought that AC and Papayo might be the same person, but more probably, both are using the same or similar complaint generators with a multiple paragraph selection.

Peace, love, and enlightenment.
If we do not live in peace together, we die in war together!

[link to www.pakin.org]
Scott Pakin's "Automatic Complaint-Letter Generator"
Complain about a company/organization
What's the name of the company/organization you want to complain about?
(e.g. [Microsoft] or [the power company] (Or GLP or Sony"
How many paragraphs do you want to generate? (1)
>>>>>>>
My complaint about GLP 1 (1st attempt took less than 10 seconds using the above generator.)
"Here's the angry letter GLP 1 knew it was bound to receive. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on GLP 1's remarks. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, in order to convince us that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements, GLP 1 often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. While reading this letter, you may have occasionally asked yourself, "Where is all of this leading?" and, "What is the point exactly?" I deliberately wrote in the style I did so that you may come up with your own conclusions. Therefore, I leave you with only the following: GLP 1 draws worthless scamps to it like rats to the Pied Piper of Hamelin.)"

My complaint about GLP 2 (2nd attempt also took about 10 seconds)
"Will the world ever be free of vapid, viperine survivalists like GLP 2? How much is the axis of evil paying GLP 2 to defy the law of the land? And why can't it relieve its aching sense of inadequacy without having to foster and intensify its drug-drenched drama of immorality? This letter is not the place to explore the answers to those questions. Its purpose is instead to dispense justice. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on GLP 2's allegations. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, if you think about it you'll see that GLP 2's termagant fairy tales are merely a distraction. They're just something to generate more op-ed pieces, more news conferences for media talking heads, and more punditry from people like me. Meanwhile, GLP 2's myrmidons are continuing their quiet work of advancing GLP 2's real goal, which is to force us to adopt rigid social roles that compromise our inner code of ethics. Now that I've said what I had to say, I should remark that this letter may not endear me to some people. Indeed, it may even cost me a friend or two. However, friends do not let friends get trampled by repulsive analphabetics like GLP 2. The truth is the truth and we pay a steep price whenever we ignore it."
>>>>>>>

AC 470629 8/14/2008 7:37 AM
Re: GLPAA - GLP Addicts Anonymous
Thread: GLPAA - GLP Addicts Anonymous
”I am angry. Angry that events have transpired that lead me to write this statement. The first thing I want to bring up is that GLP would convince others that pesky hoodwinkers and bullshit artists are the "chosen people" of prophecy.
GLP, already oppressive with its shallow stances, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species -- if separate species we be -- for its reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that GLP ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person...”
...”Translating this bit of jargon into English isn't easy. Basically, GLP's saying that it has achieved sainthood, which we all know is patently absurd. At any rate, it says that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery!
Moving on, GLP has the nerve to call those of us who advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most revolting manifestations "conspiracy theorists". No, we're "conspiracy revealers" because we reveal that we must understand that pernicious paranoiacs often prove their point by relying on untenable conjecture and unverifiable hearsay....”


My complaint about Sony. - Papayo - 07/05/2008 02:57 AM
[link to endlessparadigm.com]
“I have been following the stories and comments surrounding Sony, and frankly, I'm appalled. Will peeling back the onion of Sony's bad-tempered theatrics cause Sony to shed tears or will it merely enhance its desire to convince people that their peers are already riding the Sony bandwagon and will think ill of them if they don't climb aboard, too? What follows is the story of how it can be so rich in the rhetoric of democracy and yet so poor in its implementation. I can assure you that I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation....”
...”Sony refers to a variety of things using the word "galvanocontractility". Translating this bit of jargon into English isn't easy. Basically, it's saying that it has achieved sainthood, which we all know is patently absurd. At any rate, I am reminded of the quote, "Talking about Sony in the highly charged vortex of hedonism is always burdened with agitation and diversion." This comment is not as mentally deficient as it seems because I, speaking as someone who is not a poxy casuist, have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to throw down the gauntlet and challenge Sony's backers to make it answer for its wrongdoings. Of course, the ultimate aim of its philippics is to restructure society as a pyramid with Sony at the top, Sony's lieutenants directly underneath, pusillanimous euphuists beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Sony to deny minorities a cultural voice, which makes me realize that if it thinks that it is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha, then it's sadly mistaken...

Hi Surease, Spectrum Blue,

Sorry, I had not read all the pages and did not realize that you had already posted this. Thanks, Good Catch.

Love the one it generated about Mr Prez. How true.

I had wondered how there were so many individuals that seemed to have amazing skills of English that would have made Spelling Bee winner's jealous.

Makes me wonder how many other posts that are also computer generated.

Peace, love, and enlightenment.

If we do not live in peace together, we die in war together!

Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator (version 5.1)
Text currently in the database

286 first sentences
97 second sentences
163 concluding sentences
1717 body sentences
3167 independent clauses
1496 special sentence endings
494 verb phrases
490 group nouns
616 derogatory adjectives
12 adjectives of importance
114 assistants to the "badguy"
19 intensity words
1127 consequences
74 bad reactions
234 nouns of belief
6 completeness adverbs
14 forms of believing
25 time frames
162 concepts ending in "ism"
24 gangs
287 mistruths
89 questions
94 answers
4 types of sets
189 really long words
11000 total entries in the database