Life is feeling like a futile rut and I don’t know how to fix it

But then I think, what’s the point, a Russian nuke will take them out soon enough

or I’ll die from the poisons in the food put out there by the Illuminati

Chinese troops will be marching down my street soon enough

Why bother to build a life when humanity has been checkmated by Satanist’s?

I hate feeling this way too OP. I used to feel like I was going to conquer the world someday. I used to have goals and ambition. Now what’s the point?

“...I have a lot of freedom in my life compared to a lot of other people.”…...“I’m not attached to any one location and I go pretty much where I want to. I could start a business. I actually have a lot of skills and ideas...”

honestly, i find the whole quest for meaning and peace to be more of a maintenance and daily practice, as opposed to a destination-like objective....for lack of a better term.

and so, like surfing, there are cycles of waves, some more pleasing than others.

when i fast to reset, it's usually sometime into the second day that my mind drops the processing and my senses heighten. from there, for me, "being" transcends "meaning"....if that makes sense.
it's as if a spark ignites an inner fire that reconnects me to "source"...and how that is connected to my breathing, consumption and so on.

if i am on my game, i am able to nurture that "connected fire" going forward and avoid spending too much of my awareness on the more mundane machinations of my mind, for months on end

keeping my fire lit and nurtured becomes core to my "meaning"...so to speak.

funny thing is, as society appears to be plunging into breakdown and identity crisis, I find it all the more easier to dodge the driftwood and dross, while keeping my own fire contained.


the sensory tank has a similar effect on me...but on a much shorter time frame...it's like an ionic reset due to all the salt in the water, as well as being a peace tonic for the mind because of the darkness and silence.

but my main feeling, having recently just cycled through something like what you are talking about, is that we are in a period where it's time to go inward and connect with source as coherently as we can.

when in deep water, become a diver.

I went through a cycle of phases where I felt like life had no purpose. Everything brings a temporary joy. Once you recognize up front that it's temporary. Everything feels fruitless.

Work hard. Temporary Joy.

Succeed at something. Temporary Joy.

Achieve a major goal. Temporary Joy

I owned a software development company for around a decade. I had that same type of freedom to do as I pleased as you describe and I felt the same way.

It took me a long time to realize what my problem was.

That little itch that prevented me from finding joy in everything else. That need for whatever I was doing to be important... To matter.

The conclusion I've since come to is that it's not about that thing actually being important. It's about you being able to fully commit to that one thing as being important and then setting the tone for everyone else who hasn't figured it out yet.

As an entrepreneur it hits harder than other professions. In other professions you have a boss who creates that importance factor. When you're on your own... it's easier to tell how unimportant some of the things that you HAVE to get done are.

I would recommend not looking at this as a problem or a weakness.

Instead choose to perceive the glass as half full and use it to your advantage.

If nothing sounds more intriguing than anything else, do the thing that is most important and justify it as being the most important. No further thought is needed other than that it is the most important thing to do right now.

In the mean time let the decision of what you WANT to do come to you naturally. Given time, that thing that calls to you will manifest.

Also... You're not wrong... Your level of intelligence is not going to be satiated surfing GLP for 6 hours a day.

Thank you for this. You painted a vivid picture of your experience.

I did a 36 hour fast yesterday. It was uncomfortable, more mentally that physically, mostly because it kept reminding how I use food to sooth feelings of a bigger picture boredom. It was insightful and worth doing. I wasn't ready for 3 days yet.

Are you getting enough sunshine? I know I'm not and feeling it, need to get out of this winter. It's cold and gray every day. Yuck.

This is a personal post, so if that kind of thread is not for you, this is your chance to turn back now.


I don’t know who to talk to about this, so I’m turning to GLP and I appreciate those who have taken the time to listen.

I wasn’t always this way. In my past, I have usually found things to feel excited about or motivated by. Whether it was something professional, a creative project, relationships, self improvement, academic, travel.

A lot of the things I felt motivated by in my past just feel flat and pointless now.

I work a stupid online job that is both meaningless to me, and pointless in the world. It gives me a paltry paycheck. I will stop doing this work the minute I feel like I find something that means something to me.

I have a lot of freedom in my life compared to a lot of other people. I don’t have kids and don’t plan to have them in my future. I’m not attached to any one location and I go pretty much where I want to. I could start a business. I actually have a lot of skills and ideas, but everything I think about doing feels pointless to me. Every place I think about moving or traveling to feels the same as everywhere else, just with slightly different scenery.

I don’t have a husband. I go on dates sometimes, and have met some men that seem kind, intelligent, and interesting. Then I learn that they have taken the covid shots and I lose interest. I have no one in my life who understands why I keep turning away good guys, and who I can talk to about my values and why this one decision is so important to me.

It has disappointed me, and I’m feeling like it’s stupid to keep trying and putting myself through the hope and the letdown.

I think this pattern applies to a lot in my life. I choose to not settle with something that doesn't feel right for me, but that often results in me choosing nothing and feeling like out of all of the choices, I don't really want anything.

I have two good friends and I feel lucky for that. I have time to focus on health, and I do, so I also feel lucky for that. I get along well with people in the world, and that is all good too.

I actually have a lot of potential in my life if I were to choose to embrace it, so I feel an extra layer of guilt and shame that I am letting it all go to waste as I let it get overshadowed by existential dread and overwhelming futility. I don’t mean to be ungrateful, I just don’t know how to get over this.

I’ve been spending a stupid amount of time scrolling GLP lately. No offense to all of you , some of you are wonderful people. I just know from past experience that when I do this, it’s because I’m withdrawing from the outside world and not feeling excited about being in the moments of my real life.

I need to live my life on a more fulfilling and meaningful level. I truly want to. I think about what I should be doing and how I should be living every single day, and I’m getting more and more worried about how almost nothing feels worth putting a lot of energy into. If I’m choosing to embrace my human life, I want to make it a really good one! I want to be happy. I want to feel excited about something. I don’t want to give up on putting my all into it. I could pretty much do anything, yet I am doing nothing.

I know that I don’t want to let this go on any longer, but I am stuck in weird rut and I don’t feel like I know how to fix it.

this "life"

is designed to be severely aggravating, pointless, meanigless, and unfulfilling alone

- it is not good for the man to be alone (also applies to ladies)

the design is one man with one woman for life


I know two younger than me (out of my age range) ladies
that are extremely annoyed, aggravated, and pissed
that they're watching their friends and acquaintances
get with dudes and having family,
and they "can't find a dude"

uh huh
too bad I can't tell them that it's because of their
unattainable, impossible, outrageous, ridiculous, ...
"standards" and "expectations" for dudes

ya sorry, I don't know if God Himself, could fulfill their "requirements"

those things aren't enough, when done "alone"

the most exhilarating, adrenaline pumping, thrill seeking experiences are meaningless and worthless "alone"

"life" isn't meant to be done "alone"

I'd have a much better time and fulfilling experience sitting on a park bench in a graveyard,
with a lady who is intentionally and willing doing and sharing life with me

than doing the "supposedly" most adventurous thrill seeking adrenaline rush, heart pounding, "entertaining" experiences alone


zest for life comes from sharing it with someone legit

Everyone gets to a point where tech interferes with their lives, yet many don't understand because they're constantly surrounded by It

If you shut the screens off, your mind does fascinating things

It works organically and you begin to see direction

And it could take a little while, so be sure to help it along with a beach, a forest, a sunrise, a sunset, a campfire and some good books to read

I don't have any advice but have noticed a lot of people going through similar struggles. I've been a bit down myself as of late.

Hugs to you and wishing you the clarity and inner strength to pull yourself up out of your rut.

This is a personal post, so if that kind of thread is not for you, this is your chance to turn back now.


I don’t know who to talk to about this, so I’m turning to GLP and I appreciate those who have taken the time to listen.

I wasn’t always this way. In my past, I have usually found things to feel excited about or motivated by. Whether it was something professional, a creative project, relationships, self improvement, academic, travel.

A lot of the things I felt motivated by in my past just feel flat and pointless now.

I work a stupid online job that is both meaningless to me, and pointless in the world. It gives me a paltry paycheck. I will stop doing this work the minute I feel like I find something that means something to me.

I have a lot of freedom in my life compared to a lot of other people. I don’t have kids and don’t plan to have them in my future. I’m not attached to any one location and I go pretty much where I want to. I could start a business. I actually have a lot of skills and ideas, but everything I think about doing feels pointless to me. Every place I think about moving or traveling to feels the same as everywhere else, just with slightly different scenery.

I don’t have a husband. I go on dates sometimes, and have met some men that seem kind, intelligent, and interesting. Then I learn that they have taken the covid shots and I lose interest. I have no one in my life who understands why I keep turning away good guys, and who I can talk to about my values and why this one decision is so important to me.

It has disappointed me, and I’m feeling like it’s stupid to keep trying and putting myself through the hope and the letdown.

I think this pattern applies to a lot in my life. I choose to not settle with something that doesn't feel right for me, but that often results in me choosing nothing and feeling like out of all of the choices, I don't really want anything.

I have two good friends and I feel lucky for that. I have time to focus on health, and I do, so I also feel lucky for that. I get along well with people in the world, and that is all good too.

I actually have a lot of potential in my life if I were to choose to embrace it, so I feel an extra layer of guilt and shame that I am letting it all go to waste as I let it get overshadowed by existential dread and overwhelming futility. I don’t mean to be ungrateful, I just don’t know how to get over this.

I’ve been spending a stupid amount of time scrolling GLP lately. No offense to all of you , some of you are wonderful people. I just know from past experience that when I do this, it’s because I’m withdrawing from the outside world and not feeling excited about being in the moments of my real life.

I need to live my life on a more fulfilling and meaningful level. I truly want to. I think about what I should be doing and how I should be living every single day, and I’m getting more and more worried about how almost nothing feels worth putting a lot of energy into. If I’m choosing to embrace my human life, I want to make it a really good one! I want to be happy. I want to feel excited about something. I don’t want to give up on putting my all into it. I could pretty much do anything, yet I am doing nothing.

I know that I don’t want to let this go on any longer, but I am stuck in weird rut and I don’t feel like I know how to fix it.

Hi OP...

Read your thread and have a few general comments.

I personally, and I think most everyone, has experienced what you described. I believe that as we age, the periods become less frequent and of shorter duration. You may be experiencing something of a mid-life crisis as you have unrealized potential (by your own description) an unsatisfying personal life and no blueprint for the future.

Let's start by recognizing you are an EXCELLENT writer and very good at expressing yourself. At the same time, you laid out your situation with a minimum of self pity. That alone makes you stand out at a forum like GLP...and you are not blaming anyone for your current situation. Another positive.

What you need to do first is identify the ROOT CAUSE.

The root cause could be mental or physical...and it is difficult to know which applies here. Therefore, I would recommend you address both concurrently.

If you haven't read it already, look at the COSMIC DEATH FUNGUS thread on GLP. I have been studying it for several months and it has a solid basis in science. Making a few additions of supplements and cutting down or eliminating carbs/sugar is a great start. Also look into OMAD and/or fasting.

Cut down your online time on sites like GLP which tend to create an acidic mental environment with all of the constant doom and gloom. I check in a few times a day for no more than 15-20 minutes. Use the time made available researching nutrition or better yet, check out a few books and do some actual reading.

Think about a field that is of interest to you and take a class at a local community college. It will provide some structure and human input in a controllable fashion.

Pay attention to your diet as well. Eat healthy and cut out most junk food. It is actually cheaper to eat foods which are healthy for you.

I could go on for pages, but from the above you can see there are many POSITIVE changes you can make RIGHT NOW that will start you in a better direction.

Finally, if you are looking for a side hustle, I am looking for an online assistant and your comm skills suggest you would be good at it. Let me know if you have any interest in discussing further.

The people offering religious recommendations are well intentioned, but ultimately we are all responsible for our own happiness and satisfaction...which comes from our choices and taking responsibility for our well being.

I think deep down inside most of us just want to help someone succeed and be happy or laugh , but there is a point you can get to that it’s just not worth the risk of failing someone else or watching someone never struggle or even notice there is a struggle for others .

There are lots of people around me that literally have more then I can even imagine just handed to them at a very early age and then they are compelled to still complete with the people with little or nothing in their beginnings.

Such is life and it sucks

Thank you. It is a delightful part of life and I feel fortunate to have experienced many different types of love. I do find it a bit perplexing thought.

We all use the word like we know exactly what it means, but I'm not sure I do sometimes. Is it attachment? It is unconditional loyalty? Is it joy? Is the the feeling we have when we align with what is perfectly right for us?

I can recognize love when I experience it, but when I try to look for it or express it with great intention, I sometimes don't know how to do that.