I feel sad. The stress from my current job (in training) has led me to drugs :-(

I hate to hear that. If it's just weed that can't be so bad. But please don't get strung out on the hard and addictive stuff.
I am sorry your job is stressing you out.
Remember everyone is having a very hard time right now all across the globe.
You are not alone.
Good luck.

What’s your spank?

No one is holding a gun to your head.

Leave your job and take responsibility for your own actions...stop making excuses

i am concerned considering your new diagnosis. i will send a pm...

What can’t kill you make you stronger. Always remember that.

Stress = growth.

No stress = death.

I am doing hard drugs and I am ashamed to admit this but anonymity makes it easy to speak to you guys and thank you for being a lending ear. Sadly I mixed with a crowd that opened the door of this drug to me. I hate this and I am hurting now that I see myself this way but I cannot lie, it takes away the pain and stress the job brings me daily. I have to fight to keep this job (very easy to fail out the training as the give tests every week and passing is an 80.) I have come close to failing out which is what is stressing me as I have my mother, very old in age that I am taking care of. My father passed in January due to covid and I have not gotten over that. I still think of him and feel his presence. Many times I want him to come get me (I guess I have suicidal feelings) and am even jealous that death took him and not me :-( I am crying right now because as I right this it is like a mirror and I see the weak, ugly side of me. Sorry for dumping on you guys but I cannot share this with my immediate family as it would shock them and be a let down. I pray to God he forgives me and understands why I am doing this to myself. Thank you for listening/reading my post. I guess I am crying out to anyone willing to listen :-(

Last Edited by Rev El Haitian on 10/03/2022 07:12 PM

I cannot answer you in PM since I do not have a paid subscription, so I will answer you here. Hope that is okay. The job is with the railroad and the position is locomotive engineering. You have to be NORAC qualified and at the same time pass the training program. There are 100s of rules and you pretty much have to know them by heart. It is hard to explain but suffice to say this kind of study is more intense than college as you have to cram one year of info in three months. I am taking my NORAC exam in a week (federal exam). 300 questions (besides having to pass the training tests we get each week). This is what I am up against thus far. The entire program is 2 years long, but the tough part of it is the first 3-4 months.

So you're in training for a job that is federally mandated to constantly drug test?



You're not too terribly bright, are you?

But on the other hand, much of the naturally occurring chemistry going on in your brain, some of which are highly illegal substances, are thought to be of vital importance for our ability to experience reality. So now you have a reason to feel good about drugs.

:kirkbones:

no I am not :-(

I see your point.

I'm 70 yrs. old and I can assure you what you are going through is part of life and most people go through it.Ease up on yourself, otherwise it makes things worse. Keep guard on your self talk. replace your critical words you use against yourself and replace them with words of courage and comfort. God knows what you are dealing with and if you are patient, He will see you through to the other side.

Found the xtian conservative with that famous compassion and love

Thank you

When I started driving for a living years ago, someone

mentioned how I would make a great trucker and it paid

well! I was not completely without understanding the

wealth and really looked into this.

So I drove a van, good sized one. Easily 5000 lbs.

of motor and metal. The fact is, if I lose control,

people 'could' get hurt. Nothing for sure, just maybe.

If I drove a big rig, I would be controlling a

25,000 lb. killing machine that could wipe out

many innocent motorists killing some 'for sure'.

I realized THAT RESPONSIBILITY IS FIERCE!!!!

And I had better realize peoples lives are at risk

if I get out on the road and FAIL IN ANY WAY!

EVERY RULE WAS IMPORTANT AND MEANT SAFETY BEFORE

COMFORT. In fact, most big rig guys tell me it's

something they never relax from. They are on alert

ALL THE TIME! Because 1 slip up, and they're dead and

many others.

Right there, I said NO WAY! Too much responsibility.


YOU ARE DRIVING A TRAIN AND YOU DON'T SEE THE "FAILURE"

YOU'RE ENGAGING IN BECAUSE OF DRUGS??????

TRAINS CAN TAKE OUT CITY BLOCKS, AND KILL MANY PEOPLE

AND DESTROY PROPERTY.

AND YOU "THINK" THIS IS OKAY TO DO?????????????

Please, for the love of humanity, remove yourself from

the program and find another line of work!!!!!

Or quit doing ANY drugs at all and be thankful you

have life!!! You don't need drugs because of stress.

You need to "get right in the head" first, then you

can handle many issues you'll face. But not with drugs...

Oh, you know you just wanted an excuse...

Stress is a killer, no doubt about it.

If any job, or job training, is that stressful it's not for you.

Surely others have left the program already.

Might be a good idea to leave on your terms rather than fail a drug test and have that be your "reference" for other, future employment.

First of all I have compassion for you.
Secondly you are the only one that can fix this problem
Either quit the drugs or quit school.
You most likely will need medical intervention to help
You stop using.

Go to your minister or family friend and tell them your problem.

Go back to school when you are clean.

If an accident happened on the train they would 100 percent drug test you and you would go to prison for life.

Stop playing dangerous games.

Now you know better. Do better.

I don’t think you’ll be able to pass the training, so maybe you are taking drugs and stressing out all for nothing. Start looking for a job that is easier to handle and doesn’t drive you to drugs.

So you will be driving that train high on cocaine?

Sounds like trouble ahead, trouble behind.

Don't feel bad op.
I work 12-hour shifts, about 6 hours in I'll take a couple Motrin to help the sore & stiff go away.
After breaks, I get up on my feet & I'm like...'oh shit.'
4-5 steps & it smooths out. Getting older sucks.

I ve only did the drug 3xs. I am going to stop using it as I am not hooked. Plus I have not started running trains. They would test me before anyhow. The issue is the academic side of the training that is beating me up

uhhh no. And they would get rid of me quick as they do drug screening.

I am leaning heavily in that direction.

I am not driving trains. thats many months down the line. This training is the academic portion

Thats exactly what needs to happen after your confession here. Hard drugs + driving trains = disqualified....forever.

relax. i am not driving any trains. That literally 15 months from now. i am doing the academic portion. and I only did drugs 3xs. Certainly that aint an addiction

Meth?

Meth is bad.

Opiates?

They both lead to very bad things for those who abuse them.



Grow a pair and deal with your stress in productive, healthy ways. Get help from professionals if you have to, there's no shame in it.

Some courses and training can be difficult because they're trying to weed the weak and defective ones out..

Haitian, the RR is gonna test you for drugs.

Seek help and get clean ASAP or it is all for nothing.

I have seen many seek the help of The Almighty and his Son who were able to kick drugs on the spot.

May you be so blessed.

You CAN get clean.
Only you can do that. Don't let drugs ruin your life!!
I have seen so many friends fall from drugs.
It's sad.
You can do it.