Where does the love go when a relationship is over?

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WHOA!!! Phenn:

Surely you must KNOW know this?? He is a WRITER of books and also writes greeting cards for Blue Mountain Arts??

Wtf?? I just googled him. It's his face in the pix.

thank you. im educated. i read alot. i cant seem to find the answer tho. i read this harvard paper on it. yanno all chemical emotions. it still didnt quite answer my question. interesting read tho

[link to sitn.hms.harvard.edu (secure)]

Flouride targets empathy and logic areas of the brain.

When the relationship ends is because love was never there or it is gone for good and there is no worthy transaction to keep it going.

Oh shit! n/m: I googled the card writer!


They seriously have the SAME FACE!!!!!

WTF ?

I had a similar experience Phenn. When I met my second husband I couldn't bear to spend a minute apart from him. I ignored the vague feelings that he was a bad'un and the warnings from people who knew him, and got married six months after we met.

HUGE mistake. Followed by three years of total misery. But I toughened up and managed to get rid of him. Looking back I don't know how I could've been so stupid.

I think we're all looking for a soulmate, and that that soulmate exists but we might not meet them in a specific lifetime. I'm a strong believer in reincarnation; my two kids proved it for me, telling details of an earlier time when they were very young. I remember one time when I was at a horse show. We were all sitting on the grass chatting and my glance moved to a young boy, about 13yrs old, and a shock hit me, as if he was well-known and very dear to me. He looked at me in the same way, then we carried on. Was that my son in a former life, maybe killed in the war or something? Anyway I've digressed from the subject, sorry.

I won't be looking for anyone else in this life. Times are going to get very bad and we need to be strong and rely on ourselves to survive.

^Find him, stan him and date him!!!

Good luck, dollface!

trust me he doesnt write for hallmark.

on his end. not mine

We can go on and on.
The love is natural ....

We can go on and on.
The love is natural ....

Looking for answers in the place of questions doesnt bring answers, only more questions

Oh, that´s tough. A one sided relationship is a bummer. Sorry to hear that. It happens, dear.

The love stays if youre not the reason its over.

Its just acknowledged and placated as little as himanly possible.

For instance I just sleep as much as humanly possible so i font think about her anymore.

Sorry to break it to you but that does NOT prove anything at all!!!

Your subconscious will dish out to you "PROOF" (fake proof, that is) of whatever YOU CHOOSE to beLIEve. This is why everyone is convinced their "god" their Jesus their Buddah, their past lives is the real thing and must anhilate everyone else's beliefs... or else! (Or else you're proving my beliefs as fake.) Newsflash: ALL beliefs are fake! They're just that: beliefs.

There's no life after death and that's a logical fact!
But never mind that now.

You experienced a classic case of DEJA-VU, which is your brain recording what you're looking at in the are of "recall" and mixing the 2 together, in temp confusion giving you what you are currently looking at, a vague sense of recall. Brian-glitch!

Case in point: you have no idea who that was because you'd never seen him before. It all fits. Only it's easier to deny truth and cling on to outmoded fairy-tale beliefs. As long as they help you face the ABSURD and HORRIFIC finality of death, whatever!

Love is a bird that comes to sit on your branches when it wills and leaves when you least expect it. Sometimes, it never comes back, and some others, it returns to the same tree, if it has good memories to cherish.

Blessings.

Love is the ultimate doorway out of the matrix.

If we can solve this puzzle, we are FREEEE!

thx tess. but im damaged good atm. its all or nothing for me. its him. thats not obsession thats how i feel. how ive always felt. i have an antiquated belief system. you only get 1 great love in as lifetime. cant chg it. so i resolve to being alone. cant go thru this with someone else. its not fair to them. i did it with 2 men., they knew it and still wanted to marry me.. i loved them as a BFF but not IN love with them. i was good to them. but it was an empty marriage so to speak. not fair to them. i coulda stayed in it. my divorces were based on them being an alcoholic n not the latter. coulda also been the reason on some level but not the main.

^Typo corrected

Are you patient enough to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear, again?

Lao Tse.

Thank you for opening up your heart to us OP.

You R the real deal.

Waidaminnit...

With all that's happened to you, AARO what this "person" has done to you, your "BFF" hasn't even *attempted* a psychoanalysis of your abuser?

What's wrong with this picture??

However its possible there is no love. Its possible the scientists are right and love is simply a series of chemical reactions in the species to proliferate procreation.

Because if you felt love and there is no more love could it ever have existed? Perhaps its like electricity and just changes state , perhaps theres no such thing as love or perhaps there is and it never goes away.


Its one of those things i dont think can be answered as it appears to be relative to who you're asking.

oh hes reemed me good.

"There's no life after death and that's a logical fact!" You'd have to have died to know this to be a FACT. FFS.

As for it being my subconscious, explain this:

When my son was 4yrs old he had nightmares. He used to call out "stretcher-bearer!" He told me of his friend Tommy who visited him at night and described Tommy, his uniform, the "green bandages round the bottom of his trousers and white bandage with a red cross on it on his arm." I can't remember all the details but he described perfectly a WW1 uniform. And no he hadn't watched any war documentaries.

When my daughter was barely 2yrs old and could hardly speak a full sentence she sang all the words "Daisy Daisy give me your answer do, I'm half crazy oh for the love of you." This was an old music hall song. She later also talked of her husband Sammy and that she'd knitted him a striped waistcoat.

.

Well that's idiotic!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
*Cher bitchslaps meme go here*

You are wasting your life away on account of someone beneath YOU!!!

DO THIS:

Imagine your former self, before you met "her". Tell your old self in 1 month you're gonna meet this wench and she won't care a fuck about you and you'll throw your life away for her.

You'd bitchslap your own self, wouldn't you!? You'd say "you're fkn outta your gourd", right?!

Do this with your old self. Then MAKE A DECISION TO QUIT pining of that unworthy person. REDIRECT that love (fanatic and frantic obsession, really) towards YOURSELF!!!

Read IS IT LOVE OR IS IT ADDICTION.

Leading a couple horses to water here but...
Only you can get help!

Find yourself a passion, A/C, comic books? Video games? That's a start! WAKE UP get off your ass and DO sthg!

Also explore the GUILT you feel from past, unrelated stuff. THAT guilt is what is making you both obsessed about someone beneath you! FACT!

Phenn, is it possible he was a narcissist or a psychopath? I ask because this is a pattern some have. Stage 1 is a love bombing stage, (it can last months or longer.) Then devaluation and discard. If so, there was no real love from their side. False promises are also another trademark.

Healthy people do not just abandon a working relationship like this.

On the other side of the coin, it can leave the trusting partner trauma bonded. A trauma bond is stronger than an ordinary bond, and is very difficult to break.

i used to believe there was no life after death. no ghosts. no reincarnation. ive since reversed that line of thinkn.

my good friend jeff ren-se convinced me otherwise.

ive had interactions with my dead grandmother, whenever shes around i smell her perfume. i feel her touch.

i spoke to my dead fatherinlaw. he summoned me.

i saw soldier ghosts at the battle of gettyburg that scared the fuck outta me.

Love is a feeling people have within themselves. It's either real or it's not. It's either stays with you or when it goes it's gone, ceases to exist. You feel love for him, he obviously didn't really feel it for you, at least not in the same way, or his feelings of love don't last long, or maybe he was just pretending, in love with the idea of love, but it wasn't real for him. He gave it a try, but it just didn't work for him. He is probably not capable of lasting love, or he hasn't and maybe never find the love of his life.

I will never marry again. I fucked up my marriage . She married someone else . He pretty much raised my daughter. Love just stays were it should have been if you didn't fuck it up.