Surround yourself with... Um, what?

hot shower shampoo whole body fresh clothes glass of milk with strawberry sirup,...

Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back…

The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea.

People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever.

Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic.

I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up.

/end rant

Haha I recognize a lot of myself in your story; I too am that person that is the one that is there for people and deals with my own shit alone and like it that way. This is why I don't feel offended by the OP or the comments at all. I merely want to offer the idea that young people might not be 'crazy', which is just too easy and unintelligent of an explanation for me.

Regarding your question about how to deal with those people who 'need' you and come to you complaining about stuff but never changing. I'd like to offer the following insight:

Maybe you are invested in an idea of 'kindness' and 'politeness' and see yourself as such, but another way to look at it is that you are ignorant of what they actually need and are wasting their time and your own energy. You are living in a comfortable illusion that another being, another consciousness ultimately just as intricate as yours (despite being less 'intelligent'), 'needs' you. The fact that you are putting double quotes around "friends" tells me that you don't perceive them that way, but are instead keeping them in the illusion that you are, which ultimately, is a comfortable power position, instead of a meaningful and loving bond based on equality.

Because I hear you wanting to take responsibility for this situation and move towards greater love, is my urgent suggestion for you to re-align with your identity of kindness and either don't treat friends as friends and let them go (kindness doesn't equal weakness!), or otherwise take action that DOES change the homeostasis! (weird idea; copy THEIR behavior instead of waiting for them to copy yours. You might be surprised what you find out ;))

Best of luck.

Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back…

The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea.

People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever.

Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic.

I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up.

/end rant

figur(e) out your own strengths and talents

Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back…

The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea.

People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever.

Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic.

I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up.

/end rant

Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back…

Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back…

The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea.

People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever.

Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic.

I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up.

/end rant

Do they tell people things like that in stead of surround yourself with truth.

That'll drive your enemies away, and then you can make peace with whoever is left.

It may be no one, but at least it will be true.

It's a balance. When I was a young female, I couldn't stand to be alone. Aloneness seemed like failure. Now at 70, I put up with people as I await my time alone again, like a nectar.
Both are true. We cannot survive alone if the s hits. We have to be comfortable with ourselves, but being isolated makes you a victim.

Yes! Exactly

As parents, it's ok to let your child see you down or sad, if it is resolved quickly. Living in a depressed state around your family will cause them stress and unhappiness too...So if you are not happy, fake it around your family if you have to...

Don't surround yourself with libs and Dems!! Other than that just make sure they've got a little silver on their belt.

Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back…

The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea.

People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever.

Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic.

I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up.

/end rant

Don't surround yourself with libs and Dems!! Other than that just make sure they've got a little silver on their belt.

Pillows and puppies and kittens?

solitude is the term i prefer.

I’m trying.