REPORT ABUSIVE REPLY
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Message Subject
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What's your earliest traumatic memory?
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Poster Handle
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T-Man |
Post Content
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That's a tough one since there were so many in my dysfunctional childhood back in the 1950's.
Here are 4 distinct memories that all happened when I was 4-6:
1. Being chased by a Bullsnake before my Dad killed it with a hoe. That same spring I saw my first tornado from about a mile away as we all dashed to a neighbor's house for shelter... and everybody just yelled to "keep up!" instead of helping me. I've never been so terrified since.
2. Watching my parents/brothers brutally slaughtering Chickens and laughing/joking as they sprayed the blood everywhere. My Brother was especially sadistic that day as he put the bird's necks under a pipe, stood on it and jerked their body up, entrails dangling as the head was ripped from the body... and my Mom cackled at his creativity. Innocence lost.
3. Crying when I didn't want to go to church one Sunday and having my Mother yell, "shut up or I'll really give you something to bawl about!" -and then slamming a car door on my hand to prove her point... a few minutes later she was singing hymns and acting like nothing had ever happened as I whimpered in the pew next to her. That was the day I learned to hate not only church but also religion. And I have a crooked little finger to this day as a constant reminder of when I first understood how close cruelty and hypocrisy really are.
4. Having my brother [who was ten years older] walk up to me one day holding a single-edged razor blade and saying, "I think I'll cut you" before he sliced open a gash on my leg. I still have a 3" scar to prove it. Oddly,I don't remember the pain, only the anger I felt as he walked away laughing, leaving me bleeding on the floor.
And you'd better believe I have several more memories just like those.
Meanwhile, while all this was happening I'd watch TV shows like LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, see very different families and wondering what I had done so wrong to end up in my own.
And it wasn't until I was in my 50's -and after a couple of years of therapy- that I was finally able to shed that notion.
Quoting: GSB/LTD god damn some people have psychopaths are siblings... so sorry also slashes dont hurt so maybe thats why you dont remember pain.
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