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What's your earliest traumatic memory?

 
uhhuh  (OP)

User ID: 82162837
United States
06/15/2022 11:14 AM

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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
...


Does the anonymous aspect of this forum make it easier to say that? Have you ever told anyone this?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79546208


In my case, yes. I haven't told anyone in probably 30 years. People tend to judge you when they find out. It kinda felt good to anonymously get it off my chest.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83611249


Then I am happy this thread got you that. Your days should feel lighter now. Do you whittle wood?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79546208


Interesting question. I do not whittle, but I do work with wood. I have a woodshop. I mostly make small furniture and specialty items by request. Most recently, an all cedar display box with a glass door for an urn. It was for a woman who's twin sister who died within 6 months of being diagnosed with multiple myeloma. The inside back of the box is cork. I included a small drawer in the base for her to store pictures. She can then tack pictures behind the urn, and change them out as she likes. Also a small LED on top.

It was not part of her request. I just thought it would be a nice touch. When she saw it she looked at me, and hugged me for a while while sobbing and whispering "thank you". I was honored to have helped her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83611249


Yup. Talking with you I could see woodworks.
uhhuh
Mary T

User ID: 83053942
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06/15/2022 11:14 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
When i was very young, maybe 4 years old, my mom took me to the family doctor. he was so tall. he also reminded me of Frankenstein because his voice was deep and he was so tall, i was scared. i was very tiny compared to this tall scary man!

the other thing was my mom took me to the neighborhood beauty salon and they used the old fashioned hot curling iron on my hair (to make curls). it had a horrid smell. i was so scared of this red hot curling iron coming at my head, it was like looking at a medieval torture instrument. I was so scared and i think they accidentally burnt my scalp at times, and when i told my mom, she said "it hurts to be beautiful". so add that to the trauma. my fears were totally discounted.
Mary T
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06/15/2022 11:17 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
3 years old, parents divorced.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/15/2022 11:17 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
My sister who is 9 years older, threw me at age 3 into the neighbors pool and watched me drown. I remember seeing the bright blue sky as I lay on the bottom of the pool. As I inhaled and vomited the water the sky got
smaller and smaller until it was black. The neighbor lady who owned the pool jumped in and rescued me, giving me CPR and saved my life. That was 60 years ago. I never even went to the hospital. My parents just kept me in bed for like a week. I have avoided my sister who is diagnosed as a schizophrenic and multiple personality. She was jealous of me then and still is.
Serepta Ann

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06/15/2022 11:19 AM

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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
many memories at 3, one incident involves a rake some glass and a now 2 inch caterpillar scar on my my ankle
You have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or you will lose yourself every time

Serepta Ann

esse quam videri

I can handle a lot of shit, whining is not one of them
T-Man
Entitled title

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Netherlands
06/15/2022 11:21 AM

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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
i was looking forward to some food a friends mom had prepared and before even tasting it i saw there was a hair in it and i threw it all away
 Quoting: garkbeda43


are you making fun of me? chuckle or we really had the same experience?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78036093
06/15/2022 11:23 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I had the same recurring nightmare from as far as I can remember until age 5 or 6. Every single night the same fucking nightmare about 3 demonic witches with long teeth hovering above the floor chasing me down the hallway and up the stairs, a sort of like "the Shining" type of deal. I was unable to scream for help (mute) and when I reached the attic of my house, the caught me and then nightmare ended just before they could kill me. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. YEARS on end in the most important years of a child's life.

Then my miserably incompetent parents at the same time got so desperate to get me to go to sleep (so they could fuck and watch TV unhindered) when I was mortified to fall asleep, constantly getting back up and going back down the stairs crying. They never asked me what was wrong, they just started abusing me immediately.
My fucking autistic piece of shit father had no better idea than repeatedly dragging me down the cellar stairs by my hair to physically abuse me there in the dark, beating me, pulling my hair, ears, shaking me to kingdom come ... If it wasn't the cellar, then he pulled me up the stairs to the attic to abuse some more over there or just lock me up in it.

One day, the nightmares just stopped. I can even crystal clearly remember what the end "scene" was, how the witches looked different and everything.

I've been bullied all my life, ruthlessly, relentlessly, from primary school up until the 4th year of High School because of multiple reasons. My grandfather was a big wig politician and I had hair that was as blonde as straw.

Nobody of the staff gave a flying fuck, neither did my parents really because I didn't really mean anything to them. (I still don't and I'm still being used as a sort of house slave to do the shit they don't feel like doing or are to fat and old to do.)
It was pure terror. All I got was to hope the day would end quickly and then I could only do homework. We never travelled, even had family days out, I wasn't allowed any pets etc. etc.

I finished high school top of my year and then in the second year of university had a mental breakdown, a morbidly suicidal depression with subsequent attempts. I can't say I ever recovered. I'm a fucking mess. A kind hearted person with nothing but the will to please, but completely rejected by anything and everything, suffering from PTSD that gets me into trouble every time a sick fuck or cunt has found someone to victimize in me. I swear to Christ, it's like the devil and all of his demons are after me non-stop. No matter how hard I pray, ask for forgiveness, try my absolute best to get myself together in the best manner fully committed to all I do, I fail ... I fail ... I fail and fail and trouble finds me. Then my fucking lid flips off and I become a raging beast, like a cornered animal trying to defend itself for dear life.

I'm scared shitless right now for things that happened these past two days to me. It's insane what I went through without provoking anyone and just being forced into defending myself.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3166408
United States
06/15/2022 11:24 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I'd rather not discuss it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83665327


C'MON PUSSY! I BET CHA DONT EVEN HAVE ANY TRAUMUH! AT ALL! U CANT HANG OUT WITH US KOOL KIDS THEN...GET OUTTUH'ERE JOEY!UH.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3166408
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/15/2022 11:24 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I was 3. Had an ear tag. I remember being held down on the hospital bed, lime green walls, and the med team shoving a black mask over my face to put me out.

They say mental illness is spawned from trauma.
 Quoting: uhhuh


PRETTY SURE I WAS UH CHILD OF RAPE..WITHIN UH MARRIAGE..UH LOVELESS MARRIAGE..MOSTLY..MOST-LY...BUT, IT WAS STILL A FAMILY WITH LOVE...AGAIN, MOSTLY...'THE TRAUMA' WAS ALL THE FORCED PRETENDING AROUND ME AND THE ...'DONT ARGUE IN FRONT OF THE CHILD' SHIT...MOST OF YOU MUST KNOW 'THAT' STORY..CAPMAN..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3166408
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10511121
United States
06/15/2022 11:25 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
My sister who is 9 years older, threw me at age 3 into the neighbors pool and watched me drown. I remember seeing the bright blue sky as I lay on the bottom of the pool. As I inhaled and vomited the water the sky got
smaller and smaller until it was black. The neighbor lady who owned the pool jumped in and rescued me, giving me CPR and saved my life. That was 60 years ago. I never even went to the hospital. My parents just kept me in bed for like a week. I have avoided my sister who is diagnosed as a schizophrenic and multiple personality. She was jealous of me then and still is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75155617


this is actually sort of common, the older child is more than mildly resentful of the younger child they feel the parents love them more and it makes them INSANE with jealousy,

like the story of Cain and Abel, those bible stories really just punch all those psychological buttons
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/15/2022 11:25 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
My sister who is 9 years older, threw me at age 3 into the neighbors pool and watched me drown. I remember seeing the bright blue sky as I lay on the bottom of the pool. As I inhaled and vomited the water the sky got
smaller and smaller until it was black. The neighbor lady who owned the pool jumped in and rescued me, giving me CPR and saved my life. That was 60 years ago. I never even went to the hospital. My parents just kept me in bed for like a week. I have avoided my sister who is diagnosed as a schizophrenic and multiple personality. She was jealous of me then and still is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75155617


this is actually sort of common, the older child is more than mildly resentful of the younger child they feel the parents love them more and it makes them INSANE with jealousy,

like the story of Cain and Abel, those bible stories really just punch all those psychological buttons
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/15/2022 11:30 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I have a bottomless bag but will choose the first one that happened.

Going into Kindergarten. My mother's second husband was leaving her for good.

She was in the bathroom with a shaving razor. She asked me to go get her a knife from the kitchen. I returned with a butter knife. She was furious and yelled at me and said it was not the right type of knife. She went to the kitchen and got a sharp knife. I watched her break open the razor and get the blade out. Yep she slit her wrists in front of me.

My aunt lived in the apartment next to our's so I went and got her. After my mother got back from the ER that night she forced me to sleep in bed with her. She held me with my back to her and her arms around me. I spent all night staring at her bandaged wrists.

Mother of the year award.
ookie

User ID: 83431824
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06/15/2022 11:33 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I had so many. When I was 4 Dad had dug up an indian skull without my knowledge. I started having nightmares of a skull in hell screaming "put me back!!" When I asked Dad if he had a skull the look on his face told me he did. He took it back.

Was doing calisthenics when I was 4 and when I went down to do pushups I hit the coffee table with my head and got 5 stitches.

Found a dead, rotting rat under the sink when I was 5. And also had my first bad tooth at 5. Never forget how that hurt. Funny thing about that though. It forced my first visit to a dentist. They gave me some sort of pill and I was discombobulated.

Can't say my first buzz was traumatic. I loved it and to this day I'd love to feel like that again.
Jab McBoosted

User ID: 81674768
Canada
06/15/2022 11:35 AM

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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I was afraid of dog when I was little. Maybe around 4-5 years old I crash my bicycle trying to get away from a dog. Went face first on the concrete sidewalk. I think I lost most of my front baby tooth.

Another time my mother was working in the fuse panel, she removed one of the fuse and while she was looking for another fuse, I put my finger in the hole. It was quiet a shocking experience.

Last Edited by Doc McBaffled on 06/15/2022 11:37 AM
Everything you teach you are learning. Teach only love and learn that love is yours and you are love.
-ACIM.
Anonymous Coward
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Greece
06/15/2022 11:36 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
taking my first breath

What a trip, I didn't even remember being offered a toke or anything

bonghit
 Quoting: Gleichmut


lmao

Yeah, and then they spanked my ass and introduced the scalpal upon my cock!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 81680631
United States
06/15/2022 11:38 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
My sister who is 9 years older, threw me at age 3 into the neighbors pool and watched me drown. I remember seeing the bright blue sky as I lay on the bottom of the pool. As I inhaled and vomited the water the sky got
smaller and smaller until it was black. The neighbor lady who owned the pool jumped in and rescued me, giving me CPR and saved my life. That was 60 years ago. I never even went to the hospital. My parents just kept me in bed for like a week. I have avoided my sister who is diagnosed as a schizophrenic and multiple personality. She was jealous of me then and still is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75155617


this is actually sort of common, the older child is more than mildly resentful of the younger child they feel the parents love them more and it makes them INSANE with jealousy,

like the story of Cain and Abel, those bible stories really just punch all those psychological buttons
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 10511121


One of my older cousins was like that toward her little sister. The older daughter was an only, very spoiled and obnoxious child, until she was 11- then another daughter was born. She would shove her sister down as a toddler, shove her off porches, slap her around and leave bruises when the little sister was just a toddler. She even burned her with matches.
Anonymous Coward
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Greece
06/15/2022 11:38 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
lmao lmao lmao


[link to youtu.be (secure)]
Anonymous Survivor
User ID: 82899410
Russian Federation
06/15/2022 11:42 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
This thread is both sad and hopeful. I've always wondered how I fit into the trauma experience - how many are like me and how am I doing in spite of my experiences? I pray for healing for myself and those who have posted here - and most of all, that we will not perpetrate trauma on others.

Between 1 and 4 years of age I was regularly sodomized and suffocated, resuscitated and sodomized again while being forced to look at images of raped, mutilated and murdered women while being told this would be done to my mother if I told.

During that time I watched a house burn down with my cousin inside. Her mother was a star-child/sex slave of the local coven and had been forced to offer her child as a sacrifice.

A neighbor accidentally drove over the head of one of his twins who fell off the hood of his car. I saw the body from a distant and his sobbing form and watched my mother pass out and land in the dirt next to me.

I was raped at 9 by what I believed to be my own father - it was pitch black that night. I still don't know for sure who it was.

There have been other events, but those are the earliest and most effecting. My parents have never acknowledged what I went through, although they do know and confirm it. They just don't want anyone else to know. Some friends and family know - but also prefer to pretend it didn't happen. I am frequently told that I am "amazing" and "so strong" and "such a pillar. . ." While inside I feel like fractured glass.

It is only by the mercy and healing of God that I live a surprisingly stable life. There are plenty of days when I desperately wish for death, but he has consistently saved me from it and helped me untangle the mess in my mind.

Things that have helped me are: Gardening. Music. Prayer. Love.
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2022 11:43 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
...


god damn some people have psychopaths are siblings... so sorry

also slashes dont hurt so maybe thats why you dont remember pain.
 Quoting: T-Man


The years have taught me that physical pain usually hurts far less than the emotional kind because nerve endings will eventually heal leaving only visible scars. It's those hidden ones that do the long-term damage.

Perhaps I should offer a coda to all that early ugliness: after that kind of childhood, I didn't speak to my brother for the next 40 years and even today we are barely cordial [he's 82, I turn 72 on September 11]... I finally stopped extending an olive branch two decades ago. My Mom remained mean and vindictive until she died at 93, which is why today I say that not all Mothers are named Theresa. But life -and sometimes sanity- still goes on.
 Quoting: GSB/LTD


Wow man, a psychopath brother is one thing (horrible) but for your mother to be like that...
I have so many questions and assumptions.. but lets just keep at how it is. I hope her death gave you some more freedom and peace and your brother being a methhead hopefully shows you as well that it was never your fault or anything you could have done to change it.
 Quoting: T-Man


The decades have brought me not only solace and understanding, but also hopefully a little bit more compassion for others. By my 30's I realized the source of my Mother's own dysfunction was an abusive childhood during an impoverished 1930's at the hands of my alcoholic Grandfather -and I'm pretty sure that was the reason for all the prescription bottles overflowing the Rubbermaid turntable in her kitchen cabinet during the 1960's when uppers/downers were far more accepted than today. And then there were the beatings she'd sometimes get from my normally placid Father. A man who taught me the meaning of the word, "patience" even as he distanced himself from the rest of us. And I do regret never really knowing him more fully.

Today, understanding all that makes it easier to forgive but even so I'll never forget it.

As for my brother: he's a staunch non-drinker who's intolerant of all drugs; and he's a proud Deacon in his church. I sometimes wonder if he remembers the same things I do... but I somehow seriously doubt it and I figure karma is taking care of him. While I'm remarkably healthy of mind, body and spirit [I've never even had a personal Doctor!], he and my other siblings are riddled with multiple health issues.

So in the long run, I'm the one that has been truly blessed!
 Quoting: GSB/LTD


I am so happy things turned out well for you. My childhood fucked me up for decades, along with other stuff that kept happening till at least 2014, but i'll not speak of that here. I'm a mom and grandmother by now and have a reasonably good life. Just a pity the cost of living in my country is astronomical for locals in our mickey mouse currency. That adds lotsa stress to one's life. But in general i'm ok by now, too.
Anonymous Coward
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Ukraine
06/15/2022 11:44 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I was 3. Had an ear tag. I remember being held down on the hospital bed, lime green walls, and the med team shoving a black mask over my face to put me out.

They say mental illness is spawned from trauma.
 Quoting: uhhuh


Being born on earth.
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2022 11:48 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
This thread is both sad and hopeful. I've always wondered how I fit into the trauma experience - how many are like me and how am I doing in spite of my experiences? I pray for healing for myself and those who have posted here - and most of all, that we will not perpetrate trauma on others.

Between 1 and 4 years of age I was regularly sodomized and suffocated, resuscitated and sodomized again while being forced to look at images of raped, mutilated and murdered women while being told this would be done to my mother if I told.

During that time I watched a house burn down with my cousin inside. Her mother was a star-child/sex slave of the local coven and had been forced to offer her child as a sacrifice.

A neighbor accidentally drove over the head of one of his twins who fell off the hood of his car. I saw the body from a distant and his sobbing form and watched my mother pass out and land in the dirt next to me.

I was raped at 9 by what I believed to be my own father - it was pitch black that night. I still don't know for sure who it was.

There have been other events, but those are the earliest and most effecting. My parents have never acknowledged what I went through, although they do know and confirm it. They just don't want anyone else to know. Some friends and family know - but also prefer to pretend it didn't happen. I am frequently told that I am "amazing" and "so strong" and "such a pillar. . ." While inside I feel like fractured glass.

It is only by the mercy and healing of God that I live a surprisingly stable life. There are plenty of days when I desperately wish for death, but he has consistently saved me from it and helped me untangle the mess in my mind.

Things that have helped me are: Gardening. Music. Prayer. Love.
 Quoting: Anonymous Survivor 82899410


Such a big hug to you, from the other side of the world..I am so bitterly sorry to hear of what you went through. Even if you feel like fractured glass inside, be assured that you Are strong. Otherwise you would not have survived all that. Bless you.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/15/2022 11:50 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
This veers off subject a bit- but I wonder what people think of false childhood memories?

My sister now says that she was beaten at least once a week by my father and it left bruises on her- and my mom just let it go on and told her to be nicer and it wouldn't happen. She also says he threatened her with a knife once and she ran out in the woods.

Five children grew up in that family- and we were never even spanked. My parents got along well. None of this happened. It is breaking my mother's heart that my sister has these false memories.
The Juan Mower

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06/15/2022 11:54 AM

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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
3 and having a gun to my head, dipshits were looking for my asshole drug dealing father. Mom wouldn’t tell them where he was at until they put a gun to my head. This happened in the early 70’s.
Such a precious childhood... but I’m one hell of a man because of it, I promised myself I’d never be a evil man like my dad was.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78036093
06/15/2022 11:56 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
This thread is both sad and hopeful. I've always wondered how I fit into the trauma experience - how many are like me and how am I doing in spite of my experiences? I pray for healing for myself and those who have posted here - and most of all, that we will not perpetrate trauma on others.

Between 1 and 4 years of age I was regularly sodomized and suffocated, resuscitated and sodomized again while being forced to look at images of raped, mutilated and murdered women while being told this would be done to my mother if I told.

During that time I watched a house burn down with my cousin inside. Her mother was a star-child/sex slave of the local coven and had been forced to offer her child as a sacrifice.

A neighbor accidentally drove over the head of one of his twins who fell off the hood of his car. I saw the body from a distant and his sobbing form and watched my mother pass out and land in the dirt next to me.

I was raped at 9 by what I believed to be my own father - it was pitch black that night. I still don't know for sure who it was.

There have been other events, but those are the earliest and most effecting. My parents have never acknowledged what I went through, although they do know and confirm it. They just don't want anyone else to know. Some friends and family know - but also prefer to pretend it didn't happen. I am frequently told that I am "amazing" and "so strong" and "such a pillar. . ." While inside I feel like fractured glass.

It is only by the mercy and healing of God that I live a surprisingly stable life. There are plenty of days when I desperately wish for death, but he has consistently saved me from it and helped me untangle the mess in my mind.

Things that have helped me are: Gardening. Music. Prayer. Love.
 Quoting: Anonymous Survivor 82899410


Thank you for sharing that. I lack the vocabulary and tact to make the right remarks about the unspeakable evil those beasts put you through.

But all I can say is that I greatly admire the fact that you live a stable life, which makes me feel like a weakling for having just suffered emotional neglect, nightmares, physical abuse and bullying during my childhood, and not being able to live a stable life after all.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
06/15/2022 11:57 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
Seeing a pic of Trinity naked.




5a
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Gratitude is the greatest currency

User ID: 79318196
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06/15/2022 11:57 AM

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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
My father kicking me in the ribs at 6 yo for dropping the tackle box. Started a long childhood of abuse, I left at 17 had a job and lived with a friend who was 18 and working the same place as me. I have a relationship with my father today, forgive and forget, but I also stopped the cycle he continued from his abuse and never laid a hand in my son (aside from wrestling and playing).
“When you’re dead you’re dead, but you’re not quite so dead if you contribute something”

-John Dunsworth
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2022 11:58 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
I was 3. Had an ear tag. I remember being held down on the hospital bed, lime green walls, and the med team shoving a black mask over my face to put me out.

They say mental illness is spawned from trauma.
 Quoting: uhhuh


Mental illness is first genetic then epigenetic to turn on the genes during critical brain development years. Then it becomes primarily structural and functional (neurobiology), not psychological.

If it were the latter, psychologists would have one helluva a treatment success record: they have the total opposite but must keep their industry and income alive with ignoring evidence and fact.

.
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2022 11:59 AM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
After reading some of these I would gladly take gas in the eyes and wasp stings every day to stop even 1 day of the abuse I'm reading about.

I'm not a very compassionate person so That's saying something.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30924950
United Kingdom
06/15/2022 12:03 PM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
Seeing santa banging on the window telling us to go to sleep on Xmas eve- was my dad dressed up on a ladder but didn't find out til adult, seeing a faceless coat dancing around the same window, again my dad with sisters coat on a broom. Watching my dad through his dinner at plate at the wall in a row with my mum....
My dad was going through tough times I guess?
Love the old bugger though hf
Anonymous Survivor
User ID: 82899410
Russian Federation
06/15/2022 12:04 PM
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Re: What's your earliest traumatic memory?
This thread is both sad and hopeful. I've always wondered how I fit into the trauma experience - how many are like me and how am I doing in spite of my experiences? I pray for healing for myself and those who have posted here - and most of all, that we will not perpetrate trauma on others.

Between 1 and 4 years of age I was regularly sodomized and suffocated, resuscitated and sodomized again while being forced to look at images of raped, mutilated and murdered women while being told this would be done to my mother if I told.

During that time I watched a house burn down with my cousin inside. Her mother was a star-child/sex slave of the local coven and had been forced to offer her child as a sacrifice.

A neighbor accidentally drove over the head of one of his twins who fell off the hood of his car. I saw the body from a distant and his sobbing form and watched my mother pass out and land in the dirt next to me.

I was raped at 9 by what I believed to be my own father - it was pitch black that night. I still don't know for sure who it was.

There have been other events, but those are the earliest and most effecting. My parents have never acknowledged what I went through, although they do know and confirm it. They just don't want anyone else to know. Some friends and family know - but also prefer to pretend it didn't happen. I am frequently told that I am "amazing" and "so strong" and "such a pillar. . ." While inside I feel like fractured glass.

It is only by the mercy and healing of God that I live a surprisingly stable life. There are plenty of days when I desperately wish for death, but he has consistently saved me from it and helped me untangle the mess in my mind.

Things that have helped me are: Gardening. Music. Prayer. Love.
 Quoting: Anonymous Survivor 82899410


Thank you for sharing that. I lack the vocabulary and tact to make the right remarks about the unspeakable evil those beasts put you through.

But all I can say is that I greatly admire the fact that you live a stable life, which makes me feel like a weakling for having just suffered emotional neglect, nightmares, physical abuse and bullying during my childhood, and not being able to live a stable life after all.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78036093


Thank you for caring. That response is healing to me in and of itself - and for the poster above who sent me a hug from the other side of the world. Ultimately, it is love that heals us.

I think that "smaller" traumas can also be hugely damaging... Later in life I was under a passive aggressive narcissist for a while. It shocked me how much emotional damage that person did in comparison to the earlier rape and torture. I have wondered if my early experiences made me more vulnerable to the emotional abuse, or if emotional abuse is actually more harmful.

So - I can absolutely believe that the emotional abuse you suffered was terribly damaging, and I am very sorry that you experienced that. Hopefully, you can now fill your life with love and compassion and find healing there.

In any case - I'm sending some live right now!





GLP