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Anonymous Coward User ID: 78001126 United States 02/02/2022 07:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep" the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars" the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard." |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 82033219 Denmark 02/02/2022 07:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Nipples McGee
User ID: 43413530 United States 02/02/2022 07:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78691460 Australia 02/02/2022 07:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80963927 02/02/2022 07:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Two young men decide to go to the beach one day, one Italian, one Polish. The Italian says to the Polish, "I'll tell ya how to get the chicks interested in you. You gotta put a potato in your bathing suit." They go to the beach and all these chicks are hangin' with the Italian. No girls would even go near the Polish guy. When they left the beach the Polish guy asks his friend, "Hey! What was up with that? I did what you said and no girls would have anything to do with me?" And the Italian guy responds, "You gotta put the potato in the FRONT of your bathing suit." |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 72698099 Canada 02/02/2022 07:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Vapor Trails
User ID: 75088233 United States 02/02/2022 07:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Can you believe they’re still together after all the shit they’ve been through? I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. ~Edgar Allen Poe [link to youtu.be (secure)] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81034104 Egypt 02/02/2022 07:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80106690 Canada 02/02/2022 07:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Naunet
User ID: 75919805 Canada 02/02/2022 07:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Naunet
User ID: 75919805 Canada 02/02/2022 07:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Dijact
User ID: 77693746 United States 02/02/2022 07:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81878894 United States 02/02/2022 07:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Two young men decide to go to the beach one day, one Italian, one Polish. The Italian says to the Polish, "I'll tell ya how to get the chicks interested in you. You gotta put a potato in your bathing suit." They go to the beach and all these chicks are hangin' with the Italian. No girls would even go near the Polish guy. When they left the beach the Polish guy asks his friend, "Hey! What was up with that? I did what you said and no girls would have anything to do with me?" And the Italian guy responds, "You gotta put the potato in the FRONT of your bathing suit." Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80963927 Hahahahaha |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 43943490 Canada 02/02/2022 07:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81878894 United States 02/02/2022 07:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Two young men decide to go to the beach one day, one Italian, one Polish. The Italian says to the Polish, "I'll tell ya how to get the chicks interested in you. You gotta put a potato in your bathing suit." They go to the beach and all these chicks are hangin' with the Italian. No girls would even go near the Polish guy. When they left the beach the Polish guy asks his friend, "Hey! What was up with that? I did what you said and no girls would have anything to do with me?" And the Italian guy responds, "You gotta put the potato in the FRONT of your bathing suit." Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80963927 Hahahahaha |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 4761238 United States 02/02/2022 07:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonimous Coward
User ID: 16819600 United States 02/02/2022 07:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 60004392 United States 02/02/2022 07:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
A User ID: 78340037 Netherlands 02/02/2022 07:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80963927 02/02/2022 07:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 60004392 United States 02/02/2022 07:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77581196 United States 02/02/2022 07:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Page 5 User ID: 76914171 United States 02/02/2022 07:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A good buddy of mine has two Super Bowl tickets. They are on the 40 yard line. He paid $2,500 for each but he didn't realize when he bought them that the Super Bowl was on his wedding day. He likely made the mistake because the NFL added an extra game this season. If you're interested he is looking for someone to take his place.....It's at Calvary Church in San Clemente at 3 pm. The bride's name is Nicole. She's about 5'4 and 115 ponds, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress. |
Five Forty Four A.M.
User ID: 66650449 United States 02/02/2022 07:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. “Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud. “Screw it,” he thought. “I’ll just crawl home.” The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep. “You went out drinking last night, didn’t you?” she said. “Uh, yes,” he said sheepishly. “How did you know?” “You left your wheelchair at the bar again.” |
Cochise5150
User ID: 81786860 Canada 02/02/2022 07:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81034104 Egypt 02/02/2022 07:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80163851 United States 02/02/2022 07:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Five Forty Four A.M.
User ID: 66650449 United States 02/02/2022 07:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 69226408 United States 02/02/2022 07:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Polyethylene pam
User ID: 79616707 United States 02/02/2022 07:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |