Just finished new beat...if you are bored and have a couple of extra minutes, tell me what you think...

With right voice
With the right words
And some frill instruments

You got something.

It's awesome... 5 star and some green from me!

not bad but for my tastes it's too bright, too clean, too fast too busy too upfront ...

i give u 6/10. good try.

I hate it

But others will love it

It’s the metal in me


5 stars tho

Find the right poem...or write/rite the right one. yourself.

repeat the; what you see of, the poem, as it's 'main message' repeat as chorus'


add frills or check out garage band, or some such like ...and add your own.



exotic people always add dimension to existence.
There are no exceptions. and has never been any. In the history of recorded memory. to date.

You're getting there bro! You got some catchy thing going, you understand how to work with rhythm, and you clearly know how to enter some variations to keep things interesting. I spot talent!

A few things are still lacking though.

First and foremost, a strong sense of overall song structure is missing. Something like this:

INTRO
VERSE
PRECHORUS
CHORUS
VERSE
PRECHORUS
CHORUS
BRIDGE/SOLO
CHORUS
OUTRO

Or something similar, there are plenty of valid variations!

However you do it, there needs to be a larger scope compositional structure like that. Each section should be different from the others, rhythmically and/or harmonically, and it should also naturally lead the listener into the next section. Themes and hooks and rhythmic elements should come and go in their respective sections, not drone on throughout the entire song.

It's all about balancing the factors of novelty and recognition. You need to make unexpected things happen before it gets boring, and then return to the first thing to trigger a feeling of familiarity. The song structure is your highest level tool to balance the force and walk the tightrope between boredom and confusion.

What you got going so far, is some pretty good skills to "fill out" one of these sections and make it interesting and pleasant to listen to. All you need to do to "take it to the next level", is to start developing the song structure in a more focused way!

As an example, I'll post me and my wife performing a recent song she wrote. It is not your style of music, but that matters not! What I want you to do, is listen to the overarching STRUCTURE. Note the distinct parts, how they are made different by varying the rhythm of bass and drums, and how they are leading the listener to the next part. Also note the simple change of harmony in the solo part, to avoid a feeling of being stuck in the same modality.

This kind of overall structure is what creates motion through the song and what keeps it from going stale after a few bars. A repeating loops soon gets boring regardless of how good it is, you need a sense of forward progression, and that's what a song structure delivers.

My example is not an amazing song by any means, and it's certainly not a world class performance... But it has a fully developed song structure. And that's what your music needs the most right now. Check it out:

Thread: "Mumbo Jumbo": Me+Wife Made a Song About all the Bullshit! (Acoustic, with video)

(Our song isn't special in any way. I'm really just posting our video as an example to show that I do have a basic grasp on the thing I'm trying to explain, there's a million other examples you can study. Like every hit song ever made. They all have a well-developed song structure, or they wouldn't be hits in the first place!)