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HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..

 
FeedYourHead

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09/12/2021 10:03 PM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
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Our new puppy loves everyone but me.
Can’t figure it out
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


I suspect there was someone in her past that abused or frightened her...a male figure obviously.

First thing I would suggest would be to NOT keep approaching her...not at all. It's clearly not working and is resulting in reinforcing her fear.

I would sit or even lay down on the ground, get at HER LEVEL. This will lower her anxiety.

I noticed when you feed her you are sitting (closer to her level) but in each of the moments she is showing fear it appears in the video you are 1. standing and 2. coming at her.

You will need to let her come to you on HER OWN TIME SCHEDULE.

When you lay down you might put some food near you, don't try to pet her or anything....again, just let her make all the moves. With what I'm seeing it could take a long time to build the trust but the way she is eating when you are seated makes it seem she just needs a little time and for things to be done at her pace....not yours.

One more thing. When you are in HER backyard, (yes, it's her territory) I might suggest sometimes just being there....just doing other things. Let her simply get used to your presence without you trying to get her to like you.

I can't stress enough, you have to let her make the decision when she is ready to trust.

Last Edited by FeedYourHead on 09/12/2021 10:09 PM
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SamAdams

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09/12/2021 10:19 PM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Dogs often have trust issues with men. Probably something happened prior to you adopting the dog. So, just don't worry about it. In 6 mos the dog will trust you. It may not ever totally lose its skittishness. Each dog is a bit different. Some dogs are in your lap, others are just fine keeping their distance. But it will warm up to you in time.
Friends Matter

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09/12/2021 10:20 PM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
LEAVE THE FUCKING DOG ALONE...

JUST IGNORE IT...

IT WILL EVENTUALLY COME TO YOU ON ITS TERMS...

DONT TRY TO HARD...

YOU KNOW SOMTHING SO EASY SOME OF YOU STUPID MORONS END UP MAKING IT SO HARD...

YOUR TAKING IT PERSONAL...

QUIT MAKING IT ABOUT YOU...

ATTENTION SEEKING OR WHAT...

PATHETIC...
Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest...Its about who walked into your life and said...I am here for you.
Coloradical

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09/12/2021 10:35 PM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Try ignoring her but make sure she sees you giving affection to your other pets. She will see how you are with them and it will help build her trust. Eventually she will want to come around on her own.
Coloradical
Doom Monkey

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09/12/2021 11:50 PM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
I had stray that I took in with similar issues, I fed it, game him his treats but I gave him his space, he loved to chase after tennis balls but would never return them, until it occurred to me to me to try with two tennis balls.

I'd throw one and he'd fetch it and then I'd start bouncing the other ball and he'd run up to get it dropping the other ball at my feet and then I'd toss the ball. It took about a month of doing that a few times a day to where two balls weren't needed anymore and he was finally comfortable enough to bring it to me.

It wasn't much longer after that when he'd come and just relax at my feet. Now he's an attention hound.
~LSDMTHC~

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09/12/2021 11:53 PM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Whatever you do, don’t punch him. scared
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guitar ace

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09/13/2021 12:31 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
you have to be sitting cross legged on the floor sideways facing the pup to get any kind of chance of bonding. if that doesn't work then lay on your back to show submission.

if the dog is looking at you cautiously, lick your lips , to a dog that means "i'm good", "chill out, i bring peace".

i saw people say feed the dog some meat, etc. don't just feed the dog, leave a trail of individual bites leading to you while you're cross legged on the ground.

let the dog sniff you and don't stare at it. once your able, rub that dog's chest, massage it like you would a human. the dog will never want you to stop.

if that doesn't work, have one of your family members pet the dog until it's blissed out and then quietly and gently pet the dog too.

most importantly with a dog like this, sit on the ground on your butt. even crouching will freak a dog out, it'll think you're lunging at it.

Last Edited by guitar ace on 09/13/2021 12:41 AM
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retlawjones

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09/13/2021 12:50 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Put away the camera!!! Trust me on this one. My dog who lived for 16 years was like my shadow, but the moment there was a camera in my hands, he was hiding and running away like your doggy. I used to think it was because he saw a flash from a photo and never got over it, but later I just think it was because something was pointing at him and directed at him. They are not stupid. They make up their minds about something and good luck ever changing them unless you change first.

I had to stop playing my accordian because my 2 Pekingese dogs run away whenever I play it. sigh.
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#521

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09/13/2021 01:08 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
human food is the key to a dogs heart
 Quoting: above/below


I butchered a turkey and gave the pup lots of yummy turkey scraps
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


What kinda turkey?

big wayne
Sol-tari

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09/13/2021 02:53 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
It's fearful-avoident. Someone was a prick in the past.

Props for attempting to change your appearance mate, your hearts in it. It could be your general body size, way you carry yourself, or a number of things - you've got your pups inside with no issue, so I'm guessing you've got the pack leader attitude to at least some extent.

That confidence can be enough to shake a nervous dog for a bit. Or the previous owner was similar, but used the boot because he was useless. Anywho.

Honest advise is time mate. He's not aggressive or any of that.

Lay down outside with a big bag of jerky and a book/equivalent for yourself. Every now and then grab a bit out to nibble for yourself, and throw a piece his way . He's confident coming over for food, so the combination of you laying down (at/below his level) to reduce your threat profile, your focus being on your book (let's him relax, focus is not on him) and the incentive of food should get him. But because you're not solely eating a meal, his attention will wander as you don't touch the food source constantly.

He'll relax, give you a sniff, little steps. Don't react or make a big deal about it. Edit to explain don't make a big deal - eventually you'll give him a pat as he's close and you give him some jerky for example. No big reactions or drama, just a couple of scratches and back to the book - it's a non event so to speak. The praises and noise can come at other times.

Leash walks and the like can help as well, and ironically him also seeing you a bit/angry displeased because he's not listening during training times. He'll learn your reactions are different.

Last Edited by Sol-tari on 09/13/2021 03:00 AM
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Agent 99

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09/13/2021 03:40 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Put away the camera!!! Trust me on this one. My dog who lived for 16 years was like my shadow, but the moment there was a camera in my hands, he was hiding and running away like your doggy. I used to think it was because he saw a flash from a photo and never got over it, but later I just think it was because something was pointing at him and directed at him. They are not stupid. They make up their minds about something and good luck ever changing them unless you change first.

I had to stop playing my accordian because my 2 Pekingese dogs run away whenever I play it. sigh.
 Quoting: retlawjones


Thank God you stopped playing that damn accordion. lol.
tcs

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09/13/2021 03:58 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Before you get a dog, play with it and turn it over gently and give it a light shaking with your hand. If it allows you to do this without being afraid or agitated, you're probably going to have a best friend for life. If it nips or bites you or acts terrified, that's a sign it's not your dog.
" Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord." ~ Jer. 17:5

"From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand"
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Loyal Order of the Secret Squirrels

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09/13/2021 04:28 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Looking at that harness I have to ask why?
 Quoting: supporter


She had it on temporary after spa surgery. Wife didn’t want her running around with the other dogs. Kept her on a leash for a few days.

Do you just let your dogs run loose ?
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


I love dogs but no dog now.

I had a Golden retriever that would get the leash and thought he was walking me. Leash always in his mouth

Had a samoyed. she never had a collar or leash. perfect trained. Gave her lots of freedom but when I told her she was always on my side touching me.

I had a lot of dogs when I lived in the Med. They would just show up and live on the porch.

I had a full size collie like lassie that showed up one day and stayed a couple years. It was a very senior dog and hated cars. It didn't bark at them or chase them it just layed in the middle of the street and refused to move. I gave them all the fresh water and Kibble they wanted..
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Bershha

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09/13/2021 05:24 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
I'd recommend to address a professional. It is better to solve the problem now whne your dog is a puppy. Also, I guess, you want to train he/she, and it would be great if she/he takes your orders.
Wild Edibles  (OP)

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09/13/2021 05:43 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
I presume that you adopted the dog. It’s possible that you look like someone who may have traumatized her. Give it time.
 Quoting: RoyBatty


That's what I'm thinking. When we lived out on the South Plains, we had tons of different dogs dumped off. Some were very protective of me and my daughter, but my husband and the boys, they would act alot like your pup. The only difference I noticed is our dogs would have their tail straight up. Yours has her tail tucked.

She trusts you enough to eat from your hand, so I think she'll come around. Some dogs are just barkers. Someone suggested giving her scratches. That's a good idea. If you can give her a soft pet or scratch while you're feeding her, it might work. Just stop if she gets defensive. Give her some time. She'll come around. I've watched your other videos. You're good with critters. She'll figure it out. Watch her tail and you'll have a clue when she's over it all!
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


I agree with these 2.

May I also suggest lying down for a while and see if she comes around to you. Then cuddle or pet her for a while.

I would try that every night til she comes around. You could also feed her then too. Small treats, whatever.
 Quoting: Half Past Midnight


We were thinking I could lay on the ground with some treats and see if she comes up to me.
Learn something new each day,,,,
And love your country!!!
FJB
Anonymous Coward
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09/13/2021 05:49 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
The dog has too much space.
Bring it in a room with you frequently.
Do not try to bond with your dog, but
allow it to do this at its own pace.

You should be the only person to feed it.
This bonding process works because the
dog needs food.

Use an old coat, or robe, to desensitize
your pup to your smell. Put it where it sleeps.
Make sure to wear the item of clothing for
a while, prior to using to calm your pup.

Trust should grow between you. Your pup
will make an excellent companion dog
once it accepts YOU are the alpha pack
person.

Be patient with your pup, and yourself.
It takes time to grow a good friendship.
IF that is what you want. I raised my
last dog as a certified Therapy Animal.
We went to hospitals, drug rehab places.
She and I loved the work.

She had become, in her old age, as a
best friend.

Best wishes with your new puppy. snoodance
 Quoting: IndyAnna


This. Never tamed a dog, but tamed several cats by putting them in smaller spaces, giving them items of my clothing, feeding & talking to them, scratching their ears when they allowed touch.
KuvaszLove

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09/13/2021 06:28 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Dogs don't like anything that looks like a uniform, nurse clothes, cop clothes,janitor clothes, try changing your outfit & colors
Wild Edibles  (OP)

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09/13/2021 07:07 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
I guess I’m one of those people that has to wear a pork chop around my neck so the dog will play with me. weirdo
Learn something new each day,,,,
And love your country!!!
FJB
Awake 11:11

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09/13/2021 07:09 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
get rid of the camera
 Quoting: freeradical1


and sit down
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Sol-tari

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09/13/2021 07:13 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
I guess I’m one of those people that has to wear a pork chop around my neck so the dog will play with me. weirdo
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


Lol how long have you had the dog mate?

Current German shepard used to yelp and cower when anyone went to pat her. That includes me.

You're just getting over that initial barrier.
Basically saying to the dog
"Yes, I know your past experience was shit.
This is different"

Once you get past this initial phase, you'll be laughing.

Question: Do they react the same way when inside? If you're moving is he barking and running, or only in the yard?
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SkyTiger

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09/13/2021 07:26 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
human food is the key to a dogs heart
 Quoting: above/below


I butchered a turkey and gave the pup lots of yummy turkey scraps
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


This caught my eye....
was it a Turkey you had on your farm, did the dog see the Turkey ALIVE prior to you butchering it, did she see you carry the turkey in to the kitchen or see any part of the butchering ...?
If so, she sees you as a killer and that's why she's afraid of you, she doesn't understand that the yummy scraps you fed her came from the body of the resident turkey, if indeed that is the case that it was a home grown turkey...
anyway, just throwing that out there as a possible reason....
good luck !


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Wild Edibles  (OP)

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09/13/2021 07:44 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
get rid of the camera
 Quoting: freeradical1


and sit down
 Quoting: Awake 11:11


I don’t have the camera on her all the time. It was just to make the video.
I hand feed her while I’m sitting down.
Next I’ll lay on the ground.
Learn something new each day,,,,
And love your country!!!
FJB
Wild Edibles  (OP)

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09/13/2021 07:45 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
I guess I’m one of those people that has to wear a pork chop around my neck so the dog will play with me. weirdo
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


Lol how long have you had the dog mate?

Current German shepard used to yelp and cower when anyone went to pat her. That includes me.

You're just getting over that initial barrier.
Basically saying to the dog
"Yes, I know your past experience was shit.
This is different"

Once you get past this initial phase, you'll be laughing.

Question: Do they react the same way when inside? If you're moving is he barking and running, or only in the yard?
 Quoting: Sol-tari


My wife brought her home a month and a half ago.
She acts the same inside and outside.
Learn something new each day,,,,
And love your country!!!
FJB
rob2

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09/13/2021 07:53 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
The dog has too much space.
Bring it in a room with you frequently.
Do not try to bond with your dog, but
allow it to do this at its own pace.

You should be the only person to feed it.
This bonding process works because the
dog needs food.

Use an old coat, or robe, to desensitize
your pup to your smell. Put it where it sleeps.
Make sure to wear the item of clothing for
a while, prior to using to calm your pup.

Trust should grow between you. Your pup
will make an excellent companion dog
once it accepts YOU are the alpha pack
person.

Be patient with your pup, and yourself.
It takes time to grow a good friendship.
IF that is what you want. I raised my
last dog as a certified Therapy Animal.
We went to hospitals, drug rehab places.
She and I loved the work.

She had become, in her old age, as a
best friend.

Best wishes with your new puppy. snoodance
 Quoting: IndyAnna


id say something similar.
i will tell you OP, to TALK to the dog, like its another person.
obviously someone hurt the dog before it came to you and it may have been someone who looks like you.

be sincere and tell the baby it wont be hurt and how sorry you are someone did that.
give him something like a treat.just put it down near him and let him go at his own pace.
keep giving him treats when you see him/
\only YOU should give him those.it is just from you.

keep at it, DO NOT LOSE YOUR PATIENCE.
always let him come to you, not the other way around.
Sol-tari

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09/13/2021 08:05 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
I guess I’m one of those people that has to wear a pork chop around my neck so the dog will play with me. weirdo
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


Lol how long have you had the dog mate?

Current German shepard used to yelp and cower when anyone went to pat her. That includes me.

You're just getting over that initial barrier.
Basically saying to the dog
"Yes, I know your past experience was shit.
This is different"

Once you get past this initial phase, you'll be laughing.

Question: Do they react the same way when inside? If you're moving is he barking and running, or only in the yard?
 Quoting: Sol-tari


My wife brought her home a month and a half ago.
She acts the same inside and outside.
 Quoting: Wild Edibles


You can take my above advise and do it inside then.

It's a learnt behaviour. Sooner you work on it the better.

When they do bark, again it's a non issue. Have a goal in mind when you go out to the yard - eg walk to the other side, touch the fence. Stand still for a minute and walk back. Same if you get up while inside and get a reaction.

You can also use your other dog - call him over, couple pats, treat or toy, whatever - if both dogs are together while you're laying down. He'll be watching the interaction.

Stuff together will work on building trust, and breaking the behaviour.

Anyway mate, good luck.
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Overdue

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09/13/2021 08:09 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Dont be too nervous around them. Just go sit beside it a while. Let him see you. You can slowly get closer. May take time.
Xeven

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09/13/2021 08:14 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
human food is the key to a dogs heart
 Quoting: above/below


Bingo.

Plus I started feeding my dogs chicken and rice with carrots and beans. My 13 YO diabetic lab has never been better.

Chicken breasts 1.99 lbs at Walmart. This food is cheaper than any dog food.

2 chicken breasts
3 Cups Rice
Chicken broth
Cup of shredded carrots
Cup and half Canned green beans.
5 tablespoons olive oil

Feeds my 4 dogs for 3 days.

I also throw in any about to expire fruits and other veggies if I have any. They don’t seem to notice and it’s full of nutrition

Last Edited by Xeven on 09/13/2021 08:16 AM
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MissApple

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09/13/2021 08:18 AM
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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
No offence.
but, yuck.

there is no forced 'friendships'/trained/starved....there is only compromise.


yuck.


poor dog.
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MissApple

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09/13/2021 08:18 AM
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you're yuck.
10/19/2021 Jdhtt
10/10/2021 You are beautiful in every single way.. ~*14*~
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yes. I am.

australian


at heart
TXGLP2

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09/13/2021 08:44 AM

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Re: HELP !!! Our new puppy is afraid of me ..
Dogs love routine, they know what to expect and expect it to occur in a timely manner.

Make a routine of laying down on the floor yourself close by to her. She will enjoy the upper hand for once, and sniff - then make NO sudden moves. Do this for several days and she may warm up.

Also, voice is so important. Perhaps you have a deep voice. Time to engage your puppy voice - higher pitched, and in fact, a dog finds it impossible not to give sympathy to the mewling of puppies. Imitate a puppy vocally, high and soft, while laying down near her (but don't block her space), and reach your hand out to her on the floor.

When I meet a friend's dog who is shy or hesitant, I will just lay right down on the floor and let the dog check me out. They always have more trust after that.





GLP