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Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80085846
Australia
02/25/2021 04:04 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Fucken hope this is death pulling one of his famous "final destination" endings.

Fuckerberg just escapes shark...

Goes to hospital...

Gets a scratch from a used needle..
.they run a series of tests..involving more needles.

Then covid sets in...he has trouble breathing..

The infection from the scratch grows and grows...its a hospital super staf...

They put him on a ventilator for the covid..

And the infection begins to eat his arm off..the one the shark was supposed to take..

Meanwhile he battles to stay concious..

But some nurse accidentally bumps the oxygen bottle...

He CANT pass out...has to suffer ever second...

The infection gets to his lungs...sepsis...convulsions...then he just dissolves into goo...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80084083


Fucker-berg will receive better care than any King or Queen living on this planet.

Idol1
 Quoting: Concorde Warrior F-BVFA

I KNOW.

Thatz why his death will.be so long and drawn out.

Death will be so happy.

Finally a challenge.
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 04:07 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
They couldn't save him after losing so much blood a hospital spokesperson has said....An emergency clone has been shipped from Beijing.
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 04:07 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
a Catholic priest rescued 5-year-old Adolf Hitler from drowning in an Austrian river near Linz.
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 04:08 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
does he have a black eye? yoda
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79656755



i was trained to apply a tight pressure bandage on the neck after an animal attack like this. so much quicker than dealing with multiple extremity injuries.
Concorde Warrior F-BVFA

User ID: 80065027
France
02/25/2021 04:08 AM

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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
They will probably send one of his personal jets to Kauai to take him back to the Stanford University Hospital.

As soon as he can be transported.

Idol1
I came. I saw. I Concorde.

For once you have tasted Concorde you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.

"I would say today we can integrate all religions and races EXCEPT ISLAM."
Singapore's founding father Lee Kuan Y ew
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 04:08 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Bump
Plato II

User ID: 77134059
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02/25/2021 04:16 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
zuck bump

bump


~Hic Manebimus Optime~
Anonymous Coward
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India
02/25/2021 04:19 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Seems to be doing the rounds in employee circles and tech circles too!
Concorde Warrior F-BVFA

User ID: 80065027
France
02/25/2021 04:24 AM

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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
There is nothing yet on the Honolulu Star Advertiser website.

hiding
I came. I saw. I Concorde.

For once you have tasted Concorde you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.

"I would say today we can integrate all religions and races EXCEPT ISLAM."
Singapore's founding father Lee Kuan Y ew
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 06:05 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
[imgur] [link to imgur.com (secure)]
Anonymous Coward
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Mexico
02/25/2021 06:06 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
 Quoting: CosmicFire


Data looks more human lol
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
02/25/2021 06:49 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Shark Zuckerburg!
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 06:55 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
:soclose:
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


Bwaahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 07:00 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
So what you're saying is he almost caught and died from COVID?


clueless-ahhh3
Danger Dan

User ID: 80004894
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02/25/2021 07:04 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
bummer
Always choose dangerous freedom over safe slavery
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 07:06 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Haven’t seen a news link about it but have confirmation from several reliable coconut wireless sources. Apparently happened several days ago off of Anini beach. Shark took a nip at him and he was rescued by a couple of locals. Said something about a bite out of his life jacket so he must have been out paddle boarding.

shark
 Quoting: Rev Woo-Woo


Realized it was a robot and turned away.
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 07:08 AM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
ALL BILLIONAIRES

are getting WIPED-OUT

all smoke and mirrors what you hear on TV

bezos, slim, next...gates.

tiger, not too sure thought he was a nice guy.

SHARK ATTACK might seem justified, never know, real sickosflip
Rev Woo-Woo  (OP)

User ID: 78176490
United States
02/25/2021 12:48 PM

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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
There is nothing yet on the Honolulu Star Advertiser website.

hiding
 Quoting: Concorde Warrior F-BVFA


Probably won’t be. I’m sure he’s paid hush money to the media. He’s still embarrassed about the paddle boarding shot from last year where his whole face is plastered with white zinc oxide instead of just his nose. laugh




[link to youtu.be (secure)]
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson



revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Rev Woo-Woo  (OP)

User ID: 78176490
United States
02/25/2021 12:50 PM

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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
LOL! All your comments run about the same as what people on Kauai have been saying.chuckle

He’s not well loved here.
 Quoting: Rev Woo-Woo


Yet they let him buy that huge piece of prime property.

Why did they sell it to him?

The lure of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Too late to complain now.

Idol1
 Quoting: Concorde Warrior F-BVFA


They didn’t “let” him. He sued poor Hawaiian families to take their Kuleana land and make his big continuous parcel. angryface
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson



revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Anonymous Coward
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02/25/2021 12:55 PM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Any updates Rev Woo-Woo?

Is he gone yet?

Critical condition?
Rev Woo-Woo  (OP)

User ID: 78176490
United States
02/25/2021 12:58 PM

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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Any updates Rev Woo-Woo?

Is he gone yet?

Critical condition?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79748393


No. From what I’ve heard, it just nipped his life jacket. Yes, he swims with a life vest. chuckle
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson



revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Doc
User ID: 80087975
United States
02/25/2021 11:00 PM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack


There were side effects for the shark. Dam nanites !
G3

User ID: 79949893
United States
02/26/2021 01:37 AM

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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
There is nothing yet on the Honolulu Star Advertiser website.

hiding
 Quoting: Concorde Warrior F-BVFA


Probably won’t be. I’m sure he’s paid hush money to the media. He’s still embarrassed about the paddle boarding shot from last year where his whole face is plastered with white zinc oxide instead of just his nose. laugh




[link to youtu.be (secure)]
 Quoting: Rev Woo-Woo


https://imgur.com/SWAilnV


Mark Zuckerberg’s sunscreen while surfing in Hawaii spawns wave of memes

[link to nypost.com (secure)]

bundy6
Rev Woo-Woo  (OP)

User ID: 78176490
United States
02/26/2021 12:35 PM

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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
There is nothing yet on the Honolulu Star Advertiser website.

hiding
 Quoting: Concorde Warrior F-BVFA


Probably won’t be. I’m sure he’s paid hush money to the media. He’s still embarrassed about the paddle boarding shot from last year where his whole face is plastered with white zinc oxide instead of just his nose. laugh




[link to youtu.be (secure)]
 Quoting: Rev Woo-Woo


https://imgur.com/SWAilnV


Mark Zuckerberg’s sunscreen while surfing in Hawaii spawns wave of memes

[link to nypost.com (secure)]

bundy6
 Quoting: G3



Yep! That’s the photo!!!laugh
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson



revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79321299
United States
02/26/2021 12:48 PM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
:soclose:
 Quoting: The Rickest Rick Sanchez


5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80089064
02/26/2021 12:57 PM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
 Quoting: CosmicFire


lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12702423
United States
02/26/2021 12:58 PM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Haven’t seen a news link about it but have confirmation from several reliable coconut wireless sources. Apparently happened several days ago off of Anini beach. Shark took a nip at him and he was rescued by a couple of locals. Said something about a bite out of his life jacket so he must have been out paddle boarding.

shark
 Quoting: Rev Woo-Woo


Who was the dumb asses that saved him
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78716192
United States
02/26/2021 01:01 PM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
I cal BS. The sharks wouldnt do that out of professional courtesy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11531373
United States
02/26/2021 01:16 PM
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Re: Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack
Fucken hope this is death pulling one of his famous "final destination" endings.

Fuckerberg just escapes shark...

Goes to hospital...

Gets a scratch from a used needle..
.they run a series of tests..involving more needles.

Then covid sets in...he has trouble breathing..

The infection from the scratch grows and grows...its a hospital super staf...

They put him on a ventilator for the covid..

And the infection begins to eat his arm off..the one the shark was supposed to take..

Meanwhile he battles to stay concious..

But some nurse accidentally bumps the oxygen bottle...

He CANT pass out...has to suffer ever second...

The infection gets to his lungs...sepsis...convulsions...then he just dissolves into goo...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80084083


Wow! Nice writing.

These comments are hilarious!

applause2





GLP