Zuckerburg Rescued From Shark Attack

It was a noble attempt by the shark.

Any self-respecting sea creature would have done the same.

It was just a little off and it's approach.

They need to see if they can train the dolphins to attack him.

Zuck, the other white meat.

So white. Lol

Sharks have now become my favorite animal in the entire world.

I love sharks.

He gobs on sun block thus killing the coral reefs.

That stuff probably repelled the shark too.

It would have been the most epic headline of all time.

I can just see it now.

Facebook founder eaten by shark

Mardi gras would have broken out instantly.

Celebrations all over the world.

A new national holiday celebrating sharks.

Did he eat the sunblock? Because he looks sickly.

Last Edited by H. Rorschach on 02/24/2021 11:54 PM

Well Zuckerberg may never come near an ocean again.

But if you he goes on African safari we still have lions and may get a chance.

I mean there's hope.

He can always be crushed by an elephant or a hippopotamus.

Stupid fucken' shark missed his supper.

Only because some stupid idiots had to go and help him.

Sucks dude.

Well darn.

does he have a black eye?

The shark must know about exorbitant interest rates and dual citizenship.

That’s what he gets for not wearing his yarmulke.

That’ll teach him to paddleboard during the sabbath

Damn. What a missed opportunity.

However, maybe The Almighty is saving him for Gitmo, and we'll get to see him perp-walked and disgraced. I imagine dying of Treason could be far-worse than dying by shark attack.

BTW...I L.O.V.E. just about every comment in this thread. My sides! You're all a riot, Alices!

Thank you for the many chuckles.

You should read the local Facebook comments!

that boi ain't right.. too pasty.

My money is on YOU Rev!

a delectable blubbery coating conceals a hard, sharp and tasteless inside of gears, wires, and servo motors

Sharks can't chomp thru metal and plastic.

Yet they let him buy that huge piece of prime property.

Why did they sell it to him?

The lure of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Too late to complain now.

Fucken hope this is death pulling one of his famous "final destination" endings.

Fuckerberg just escapes shark...

Goes to hospital...

Gets a scratch from a used needle..
.they run a series of tests..involving more needles.

Then covid sets in...he has trouble breathing..

The infection from the scratch grows and grows...its a hospital super staf...

They put him on a ventilator for the covid..

And the infection begins to eat his arm off..the one the shark was supposed to take..

Meanwhile he battles to stay concious..

But some nurse accidentally bumps the oxygen bottle...

He CANT pass out...has to suffer ever second...

The infection gets to his lungs...sepsis...convulsions...then he just dissolves into goo...

Fucker-berg will receive better care than any King or Queen living on this planet.

Who would bother saving saving that piece of human excrement?