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Message Subject Please send my family prayers, we could use all the love we can get.
Poster Handle Texan Buckeye
Post Content
Thank you so much for the heartfelt prayers. I appreciate each and every one of you! No word yet on her tests, I will update tomorrow as there will be more doctors and staff available to speak in the daytime. She is stable right now, and sedated but responded to stimuli earlier. That's something for me to rest on for the evening.

I am so overwhelmed right now and can't pick an emotion, I don't know why I keep settling on guilt. But I can't help but feel it. All I wanted to do was pull over and do CPR (I am trained), but I knew an ambulance would not have gotten her there sooner. There was no time and it came out of nowhere and so fast.

I feel guilty.

I feel guilty because I know she told me she wanted a DNR a few years ago, but she never got paperwork for it. I feel guilty because I demanded they do everything in their power to keep her alive until her two kids got there, because wltgwy have the ultimate say, not me. I'm glad they got there before she was transferred to the ICU, they got to hold her hands. They got to tell her they loved her. But I just feel guilt. I know I'm being unreasonable with myself. I'd do it all over again the same way. Maybe its just exhaustion.
 Quoting: Brandywine


Thanks for the update, Brandywine. It sounds to me like you did the only thing you could do and it was the right thing. Don't let guilt take over you. It's a normal response to what you've been through tonight. What you're feeling is the first stage of grief. Grief isn't only felt after someone passes away, either. Don't beat yourself up, you're being very normal.

Keep us posted in the morning and do your best to get good rest tonight. It'll be hard, but try. I'll check on you tomorrow and know when people here say they'll pray....they really do!
 
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