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An imqortant message - the conspiracies merge!

 
CAstro hik
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05/24/2020 01:15 PM
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An imqortant message - the conspiracies merge!
[link to pastelink.net (secure)]

spock
a snippet:

2020 Summer

Thanks to the internet, a Kennedy, and a weird guy in a three-piece suit [26] (and many, many other patriots and so on and so forth), the Cabal is unable to contain information about their conspiracy and a critical mass begin to question everything. [27]

They release a second virus in an attempt to destroy resistance. This time several doctors, tens of thousands of nurses, one solitary politician, along with millions of people make a stand. Key people involved get cold feet. Hedging their bets, they drag their coldly feet, or disappear entirely in fear, especially after the sentences for pedophilia and human trafficking start becoming public.


The Cabal attempt to turn on 5G globally, but it only works in 10% of where they intend it as people abandon ranks, and many towers are smashed by "vandals". In the areas that the 5G does turn on, people become gravely ill in terrible numbers as it destroys their ability to absorb oxygen. [28]

2020 Fall

The Cabals plans are in chaos, but as always, they have contingencies. The Draco Reptilians, [29] who make up the second to topmost layer of the Pyramid of Pyramids, [30] or Cabal, show themselves. Although they are more than slightly annoyed that it is 25 years ahead of schedule, as they are in a molting period and while they still look quite intimidating in their way, it is somewhat diminished by them looking half-dressed, and decidedly undignified.

In a panic, Cabal members who were afraid of courts and angry mobs, realize they are more afraid of these giant talking evil lizards. Their most loyal subjects, including the British Crown, [31] Justin Beiber, [32] that nerd we mentioned earlier, and another nerd named Mark, [33] dart their lizard-human hybrid tongues out with excitement and trepidation. Most of the 5G towers come on and people begin collapsing in the streets.

At this time the Cabal has also gone to war with itself, the main branch that controls the British Crown and her large empire (including, of course, the United States turns on the so-called Switchers and go to war with them for their daring to prefer the use a less psychotic approach to longevity. [34] Their timing is once again poor.

After several hours of over a billion people being semi-fried by 5G, quite unexpectedly to everyone but himself, Elon Musk turns on his partially complete satellite grid, [35] running a frequency tuned to cancel out 5g and other communication frequencies. The Internet goes off. Cell phones go off. Television is silent. Radio goes silent. All is silent.

For the first time since the invention of the radio, the earth is free of artificial electromagnetic radiation. [36]

Over the next hour, millions of people, their auras [37] now free from artificial noise, have spontaneous kundalini awakening experiences. [38] Half of the planet experiences a DMT-like high, [39] traveling out of their bodies [40] and into other dimensions. [41] Obviously many people freak out. More than a few people leave their bodies for good. Most on earth just feel like, for the first time, they can truly breath with great ease and pleasure.

Oh, they sit down on the ground and smile.

Tens of millions are quickly healed from ailments of all kinds. Others suddenly know how to heal themselves. [42] People get up out of wheelchairs and some said they heard angels singing in the sky. [43]

A few people feel nothing but a slight ringing in their ears, [44] which some describe as "quite annoying."

For the first time in 12,000 years, [45] the Dracos feel they may be losing control of the situation. They attempt to launch nukes to take down the satellite swarm, which they know would also destroy the atmosphere.

"It's been a work in progress anyway. [46] We didn't plan to finish until 2030, but oh well, we are already ahead of schedule," their captain hisses, as he presses the red button labeled "NUKE ALL THE THINGS."

But at the last moment, they are thwarted by flying saucers manned by the graceful and cleanly Feline Aliens, who swoop in and fry the electrical systems on every military center on the planet.

Millions see these flying saucers, invoking hundreds of thousands of "I told you so's", none of which are met with what was felt to be sufficient apologies nor praise.
Anonymous Coward
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05/24/2020 01:31 PM
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Re: An imqortant message - the conspiracies merge!
Cool story... left out the part where all politicians spontaneously combust
CAstro hik  (OP)

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05/24/2020 01:38 PM
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Re: An imqortant message - the conspiracies merge!
bump
AxX

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05/24/2020 02:20 PM

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Re: An imqortant message - the conspiracies merge!
The Draco aligned Cabal panics and their full-reptilian overlords, tripping over their partially shed skin like drunken women fleeing from the police, shoving their ankles into their dresses after skinny dipping on the beach, attempt to scurry underground [47] via their lair entrance under the Denver CO airport. [48] However, they find their hideout overtaken by the subterranean Mayans, [49] who donning fantastically patterned textiles, [50] drive them out with some kind of sound weapon. [51]

 Quoting: OPs link

lmao
Fun read. Thanks, OP
Energy flows where focus goes.

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