BREAKING: Dr. Anthony Fauci has been sworn in as the 46th President of the U.S. in a secret ceremony

AP - In light of Donald Trump's total inability to govern, issue orders or fire obvious traitors, Congress, The Joint Chiefs and Vice President Mike Pence convened in a private meeting to confer on the suitability of Trump continuing to be President.

"We decided Dr. Fauci should lead. He's been giving all the orders anyway, and Trump just sits there and goes along with him like a little bitch," said Nancy Pelosi.

An anonymous staffer for the Vice President said, "Trump's impotent. Won't lead. Won't fire traitors. Won't do anything. Just tweets. So we figured we should just hand over all the power to Dr. Fauci in an official capacity, since he's already acting as the President unofficially."

"Let's face it, Dr. Fauci runs the country now. Trump just talks," said staff member of the Joint Chiefs.

As a result of Trump's total inability to fire traitors to the US, govern or do anything, the Supreme Court, in a private ceremony, officially swore in Dr. Fauci as the 46th President.

Dr. Fauci issued a statement, "Trump could have fired me at any time. I openly trashed him, I'm a Hillary lover, I'm in bed with Gates and vaccines, I'm a complete traitor and dirtbag, but Trump just sat there and let me push him around. So we all got together and figured we should make this official, I'm the President now. I've been calling the shots this whole time anyway."