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Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina

 
The Builder  (OP)

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07/19/2021 12:09 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Go beyond what sounds good to what might be more likely to be true.

Someone that eats lots of fattening foods, for example, might give the excuses that they can't help themselves, have a low metabolism, aren't really that fat, etc. Their mind would lean towards what allows the self to not feel threatened.

But it is more likely that they want to become fat or unhealthy.
 Quoting: The Builder


What, that I actually prefer chaos, conspiracies, pain, separation, hate and lies?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Let's boil it all down to "chaos" and assume that it has some validity in order to see where it might lead.

Have you conditioned yourself to lean more towards Chaos through the choices you have made in your life? This is not to ignore the direction you've turned to over the past year, of course, but how Chaos may still influence your interpretation of reality.

Its music is your still your lifeblood, right?

If you choose Chaos daily, at times, don't be surprised when it chooses you, too.

You sure seem to be fairing better than the rest of us. Even being in Bhutan and the shenanigans they’re up to with their version of this ‘vaccination campaign’. Doesn’t appear like there’s much freedom there either.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Not all you see in media is so.

Some places have (and will have) more self-governance, and some have (and will have) less. Some much more, some much less.

There are places where children are being arrested for various trivialities (to the cheers of some) and places where such things would never happen because the people would not allow them to.

Do you remember a few years ago when I advised people that were in the US or Canada to make their way out because communism was coming? I sold my businesses and left.

How many of us wanted to talk about that? No one, from what I remember, because we don't want to think about such possibilities.
 Quoting: The Builder


I do. Very clearly. I also remember thinking to myself that I don’t want to be an ex-pat living in a foreign country. That I love America. This is my home. My children’s home. It’s all represented right here. Where I am supposed to do my work. That I was going to fight for her. As an ideal.

Now, I’m so unattached to all of it that if I knew where to go and how to do it, I would be gone in a heartbeat.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

You don't need to know anything. You only need to have a clear head and heart and do something.

If you don't do something it's because you don't really want to and would prefer to not do it. (i.e., you don't consider it the next step in your logical narrative)

The communism, etc., is inside of us. It is a natural part of our perspective, manifested over time in various ways.

We can only perceive of ourselves, as I have all ways said. This also applies when we don't like what we see.

We will find, one day, that the 'Emperor has no clothes'. Governments generally rely on the population for their power and sustenance. They are deeply afraid of the populace. But guess what? The people are willingly handing over their inherent power because they are deeply afraid of themselves.

What happens when you are surrounded by people who rely so much on external government that they don't know how to survive without it?
 Quoting: The Builder


A decline in everything: Intelligence, humanity, creativity, resourcefulness, and love.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

And, most importantly, a decline in Chaos.

"Good" is increased by increasing "bad" to the point where people willingly choose "good".

The mess of humanity right now, or so it seems, is that most of us are willingly choosing "bad". And the world as it seems now is the result.

This doesn't mean that we are doing obviously bad things every day. It could be as simple as a "reggae" song that is meant to deceive others, lull them into brain and spirit lethargy them with certain frequencies, and make them believe in a false narrative.

Now imagine the "bad" foods, beverages, smells, media, friends, ideas, etc., that we willingly choose each day.

The result is a "bad" interpretation of reality (because we have conditioned ourselves to choose it).

Where is the spirit in all of this? Realising that we can bring ourselves to choose "good" by experiencing lots of "bad" things.

Our interpretation is our choice. We choose our reality naturally. We are choosing to interpret things in a "bad" way so that we will naturally choose to interpret things in a "good" way.

So when someone stuffs their face with fattening foods and says that they want to lose weight, for example, they're just lying to themselves. But it's the same with any experience, whether or not we realise it.

At any time through 'this' we can choose to build and nurture viable alternatives to all of the systems we think are oppressing us.

There are places where it will be easier to do that, and places where it will be more difficult.
 Quoting: The Builder


Such as?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Easier: Anywhere there are 2 or more people who are working on self-governance and self-regulation

More difficult: Anywhere there aren't

At any time through 'this' we can choose to build and nurture viable alternatives to all of the systems we think are oppressing us.

There are places where it will be easier to do that, and places where it will be more difficult.
 Quoting: The Builder


Such as?

But we don't. Why not? Why do most of us spend more time on mobile apps than we do on our present and future happiness and prosperity? Because we willingly hand over our inherent power and freedom to more chaotic aspects of our perspective.

It is, all ways, our choice.

There is no need to resist what you don't like. Make it irrelevant by focusing on a better alternative for you.
 Quoting: The Builder

Easier said than done.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Here's one: easier to believe than to realise.

Perhaps something isn't 'easy' because you don't want it.

For example, if someone says, "it's so hard to stop smoking"; perhaps the person doesn't want to stop. "I'm addicted." Really? If the small cigar was attached to a button that killed you immediately when you put it to your mouth, you would have no conscious control? It then follows that the person probably doesn't have a reason to stop that is more powerful than their desire.

If one complains without coming up with an alternative, it's just negative virtue signalling. In plain English, "a love/hate relationship"

We come up with alternatives for things we don't want quite often. If a waiter offers a dish that we wouldn't like, we look for something else. Yet, people complain about a variety of other things but don't look for (or build) their alternatives.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/19/2021 12:13 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Do you remember a few years ago when I advised people that were in the US or Canada to make their way out because communism was coming? I sold my businesses and left.


too late to leave now?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13999929

If you haven't all ready, you probably won't.

Fear is the primary tool of artificial governments, but it is also our own primary tool that keeps us in our comfort zone, no matter how uncomfortable that zone might actually be.

There is all ways a reason not to do something. We can visualise these reasons more than the reasons to do something when fear is involved.

Last Edited by The Builder on 07/19/2021 12:13 AM
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/19/2021 12:24 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Everything that happens is you.

If you are perceiving something, it is you.

You are free to interpret reality as you'd like.

Your 'free speech' is beyond just words. It is everything that you experience.

But it doesn't mean, of course, that your basest layer of perspective (i.e., your "conscious mind") will accept or understand the depth of what is being experienced.
 Quoting: The Builder


You lose me sometimes with answers like this.

If I am everything, who/what does that make you?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

By saying "..what does that make you?" you are implying that I am not you, also.

Think of it like this: You Are All That You Interpret and All That You Perceive.

How you perceive 'me' is still you. You are not perceiving the 'whole' of me and nor do you need to.

If you did, you would see that it is you. You don't perceive that because you are only perceiving a part of me. It is not possible to perceive all of me or anything else, or perceive your self wholly.

This is confusing, yes.. because our language has evolved away from understanding such concepts.

(I’m so curious how you perceive me)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Like a character in a story that I am writing.

I listen to you. We talk. I "hear" you in my thoughts. I don't really want to know what happens next, because it's more important to focus on writing the story as it is.

I could change the plot, yes, but then I would not be letting the story unfold by itself. The world makes it own story, in a way, based on how the characters have evolved in my 'brain'.

But each character is writing their own story, too.

And I am a character in the story that 'God' is writing, so to speak. You are as real as someone/something could ever possibly be, as am I.

My reality is disintegrating. Very real-ly. I don’t comprehend how I could interpret ‘this’ as anything but a nightmare-in-the-dream. My closest relationships reflecting back to me so much dysfunction within the operating system. So much suffering. So little love.

I must be such an asshole of a human if this is the best I can dream up for myself. To look at it as anything but hell seems delusional.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

This is all so that you can choose differently.

And then when you've overdosed on "good" things, you will choose the "bad" experiences again.

We breathe in until we've had our fill, and then we breathe out.

This is all so that you can choose differently.

And then when you've overdosed on "good" things, you will choose the "bad" experiences again.

We breathe in until we've had our fill, and then we breathe out.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/19/2021 12:26 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
My reality is disintegrating. Very real-ly. I don’t comprehend how I could interpret ‘this’ as anything but a nightmare-in-the-dream. My closest relationships reflecting back to me so much dysfunction within the operating system. So much suffering. So little love.

I must be such an asshole of a human if this is the best I can dream up for myself. To look at it as anything but hell seems delusional.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then choose differently.

Don't choose Chaos and expect sweet-smelling roses.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/19/2021 12:37 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
.....
And you are free to interpret it all. The question for you might be, 'why do I interpret things this way?'
 Quoting: The Builder


Yeah. Why do I? The dystopian nightmare unfolding before my eyes. How do I see it as anything but?

I find myself getting frustrated. With all of it. Honestly, fuck this plane. I feel like razing it to the ground. Like a fire breathing dragon.

This ain’t living.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Do you absolutely need to live where you're living?
 Quoting: The Builder


This is probably one of the toughest questions you have ever asked me. Ever. If you had asked me a year ago, I wouldn’t have missed a beat... absolutely! Now, that surety is out the door.

I know nothing anymore.

God led me here. To this exact geography. Geometry. I first experienced this type of knowing in relationship to my hometown when I drove through it in 1998 on my first visit to California. Just passing through. The resonance. The heart. The familiarity. The memory so strong. It pulled me. The Truth. Like I had been pierced with an arrow. We didn’t (buy) land here until 2005.

For many years the question, “is it New Jerusalem or hell-on-earth?” has rolled through my mind. I have lived a thousand lives here. Died as many times. This land is my compass rose. It orientates me. Cradles me when nothing else can. It is imbued with all of this. Us. In a way, it is timeless. And so beautiful. With a very long memory.

After this last year, I have detached. Energetically. From everything. Including my attachment to this land. My home. My country. It has been very hard for me in some ways. Eye opening. I have no idea what’s in store for me.

The thought of leaving here scares the shit out of me. I’m tired. I’m not sure I have enough of me left to start all over again somewhere else. And Do this again. Not as the conditions stand right now. Not with the information I’m privy to.

Another example of when the path of least resistance is actually hard as f^€*. My heart never steers me wrong but she definitely challenges me and asks, ‘oh yeah....you think so?’
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then, at the end of the day, you're comfortable where you are.

Or, you could stop forcing the 'place' to be something it is not. That would cause tension. Your heart led you there but it doesn't mean you aren't supposed to turn back 2 seconds later. Perhaps that 2 seconds was enough to do the job. [But also see below]

If your heart never steered you wrong then why is it unhappy? Perhaps the heart is not what should lead us, but provide only the fuel to get there.

Are you imprisoned in the state? Or, do you have something of a choice (no matter how difficult doing that might be).
 Quoting: The Builder


Sure feels that way.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then find out why you want it to feel that way.

Don't assume that you don't want 'bad' feelings for yourself.

In a way, I have felt under a form of ‘house arrest’ for the last decade. Tethered. Now, I’m like, uh-oh, am I entering solitary confinement if I stay here?

The long walk home.

I choose the guillotine. Looks like mercy from where I’m standing. This choice has surprisingly not been dificult at all.

As you always like to remind me...I all ways have a choice. But really, where would I go? Where does someone like me fit? I make sense right here.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

That's the sound of fear talking.

Fear does not change reality, only how it seems to you. It really keeps us from experiencing who and what we really are.

At least here, I know the potentialities. Have relations. Familiarity. My community, although loving their artificial government right now, will totally come together, support and survive then thrive when the shit eventually hits the fan. This I know. My husband will be the best apocalypse partner. He is the most intelligent man I know in the real. Purposeful. He can do anything. Build anything. Wire anything. Grow anything. (That is, if our geometry holds and reconfigures after 25 years..which remains to be seen...and is also scary af.)

Not to mention all the ‘others’ lurking around here :)

I do know that I would be missed even if no one understood what was missing.

This past year for me has been everything under the sun. I am not the same person.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then you will probably stay where you are. You're comfortable.

It doesn't mean, however, that you will experience 'bad' things in future being in the same place. You can have a plethora of beautiful and wonderful experiences right where you are, but it will take much more effort to reinterpret where you are. That is why we 'change' our particulars such as location; to make the re-interpretation easier and more obvious.

It might be time to re-organise your life. Find out what your emotions are attached to, for example, and send them on their way. Move furniture around (or get rid of it). Modify relationships. Take on a new style of dress. These are just slaps in your own face to show that you are ready to let go of old interpretations that are past their time.

Be comfortable with a new kind of interpretation.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/19/2021 12:49 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
...

Are we surprised, considering what we have allowed over the past 20 years? 50? 100?

When we lose our bearings and become lost we tend to want to harm ourselves more. Sometimes slowly, as we have been doing. And sometimes rapidly, such as when we allow certain technologies into our environment or bodies.

What is happening now is only happening because people allow it to happen. Nearly all have forgotten that artificial government is not the authority of their experience and reality. Yes, it's sad. But not wanting to exercise our own power is our choice.
 Quoting: The Builder


What are you getting at Anthony? Where do we go from here? I want to exercise my own power...what does that mean?

I honestly don’t care about who I leave behind anymore. Breaking the perceived chains of materiality. A caged Mentality. I have to do this for me. Me. [“put your oxygen mask on first”]

I now understand that you can’t bring everybody along. (I did try though. It was my Hail Mary. A noble effort. And very inefficient)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Do you remember what I said about the bridge to the other Earth?
 Quoting: The Builder


Not exactly.

That it eventually disappears behind you as the two merge..and that a third Earth is birthed (?)

Please tell me again.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Yes, the two have all ready merged. Some see it as 'clown world' but it is really us trying to make sense of who we really are. Reality is becoming more flexible (and strange) as we become more metaphysical beings.

The 'new Earth' will take some more time to be seen, but not before we learn how to see it.

Communism is the 'last stand' between Chaos and Order. They've had a bit of practice, and now it's time for the real thing.

It is simply 'big government' or the opposite of self-governance.

They will 'lose', of course, because they are playing a role in support of this Christ.

The anti-Christ supports the efforts of the Christ, and the Christ supports the efforts of the anti-Christ. Ultimately the two are the same.

Chaos is needed because we will re-fashion what is 'evil' into something more productive. We aren't going back to the Old World where people had Christ in their hearts (self-governance and self-regulation, awareness of self in others, and reciprocal actions) but are building something new that incorporates both. A world of more balance, if you will, that can only happen through the security of being Nothing-in-particular-yet-all-that-is.

And I have no f'kn idea what I'm doing, but I will eventually get it right. I would do it a trillion times before I think of giving up, but fortunately it will take only a few hundred trials.

We should begin to see the pendulum swing back again in 6-9 years.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Tuuur 3.0

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07/19/2021 11:40 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Do you absolutely need to live where you're living?

Are you imprisoned in the state? Or, do you have something of a choice (no matter how difficult doing that might be).
 Quoting: The Builder


no, I don’t. I keep telling myself I need to live close to my parents and my son, but I am sure they would want me to live wherever I would be happy.

Within a few weeks I can choose where I want to live, because my divorce is finalized then.

But The Netherlands are very small and very regulated though. You cannot camp wherever you want for example, plus rent and house prices are through the roof. so: it would be living outside of the Netherlands.

I have been thinking about Sweden, somewhere in the woods. But at this moment you cannot go there from the Netherlands without getting vaccinated or tested (both of which I am not prepared to do)
Tuuur
Lady of Stars

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07/19/2021 08:05 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Go beyond what sounds good to what might be more likely to be true.

Someone that eats lots of fattening foods, for example, might give the excuses that they can't help themselves, have a low metabolism, aren't really that fat, etc. Their mind would lean towards what allows the self to not feel threatened.

But it is more likely that they want to become fat or unhealthy.
 Quoting: The Builder


What, that I actually prefer chaos, conspiracies, pain, separation, hate and lies?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Let's boil it all down to "chaos" and assume that it has some validity in order to see where it might lead.

Have you conditioned yourself to lean more towards Chaos through the choices you have made in your life? This is not to ignore the direction you've turned to over the past year, of course, but how Chaos may still influence your interpretation of reality.

Its music is your still your lifeblood, right?

If you choose Chaos daily, at times, don't be surprised when it chooses you, too.
 Quoting: The Builder


It has validity.. yes.

And yes, it is.

The Prince of Peace found me in my mother’s womb. The Lords of Chaos at the age of 6. I remember it vividly. I’ve been dancing with chaos ever since. Trying to find my way through.

Do you remember a few years ago when I advised people that were in the US or Canada to make their way out because communism was coming? I sold my businesses and left.

How many of us wanted to talk about that? No one, from what I remember, because we don't want to think about such possibilities.
 Quoting: The Builder


I do. Very clearly. I also remember thinking to myself that I don’t want to be an ex-pat living in a foreign country. That I love America. This is my home. My children’s home. It’s all represented right here. Where I am supposed to do my work. That I was going to fight for her. As an ideal.

Now, I’m so unattached to all of it that if I knew where to go and how to do it, I would be gone in a heartbeat.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars


You don't need to know anything. You only need to have a clear head and heart and do something.

If you don't do something it's because you don't really want to and would prefer to not do it. (i.e., you don't consider it the next step in your logical narrative)
 Quoting: The Builder


I have been doing....a lot. I seem to be approaching that which I have been ‘putting off.” The elephant in my mind, so to speak. This is hard. On everyone.

I’m scared about what this means for me in the short term. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it. I am mustering up the courage to pull the trigger and thinking about timing.

The communism, etc., is inside of us. It is a natural part of our perspective, manifested over time in various ways.

We can only perceive of ourselves, as I have all ways said. This also applies when we don't like what we see.

We will find, one day, that the 'Emperor has no clothes'. Governments generally rely on the population for their power and sustenance. They are deeply afraid of the populace. But guess what? The people are willingly handing over their inherent power because they are deeply afraid of themselves.

What happens when you are surrounded by people who rely so much on external government that they don't know how to survive without it?
 Quoting: The Builder


A decline in everything: Intelligence, humanity, creativity, resourcefulness, and love.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars


And, most importantly, a decline in Chaos.

"Good" is increased by increasing "bad" to the point where people willingly choose "good".

The mess of humanity right now, or so it seems, is that most of us are willingly choosing "bad". And the world as it seems now is the result.

This doesn't mean that we are doing obviously bad things every day. It could be as simple as a "reggae" song that is meant to deceive others, lull them into brain and spirit lethargy them with certain frequencies, and make them believe in a false narrative.

Now imagine the "bad" foods, beverages, smells, media, friends, ideas, etc., that we willingly choose each day.

The result is a "bad" interpretation of reality (because we have conditioned ourselves to choose it).

Where is the spirit in all of this? Realising that we can bring ourselves to choose "good" by experiencing lots of "bad" things.

Our interpretation is our choice. We choose our reality naturally. We are choosing to interpret things in a "bad" way so that we will naturally choose to interpret things in a "good" way.

So when someone stuffs their face with fattening foods and says that they want to lose weight, for example, they're just lying to themselves. But it's the same with any experience, whether or not we realise it.
 Quoting: The Builder


It sounds counter-intuitive in a way. But, I see it.

Yeah, a lesson in when your word doesn’t line up with your actions. It’s not easy to look at that.

At any time through 'this' we can choose to build and nurture viable alternatives to all of the systems we think are oppressing us.

There are places where it will be easier to do that, and places where it will be more difficult.
 Quoting: The Builder


Such as?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars


Easier: Anywhere there are 2 or more people who are working on self-governance and self-regulation

More difficult: Anywhere there aren't
 Quoting: The Builder

:)


Here's one: easier to believe than to realise.

Perhaps something isn't 'easy' because you don't want it.
 Quoting: The Builder


That is so true. To realize...takes action.

Please stop saying I don’t want it. It’s so far from the truth of how I feel inside. I’ve never felt this way before that I remember. About anything. I am in unchartered territory for myself. Dancing with my own fears. Of abandonment. Not measuring up. Being enough. Who am I really in this sea of relationships? I’m sussing out what it’s showing me. Looking at the probabilities. Asking myself am I ok with the worst possible outcome? I know it can’t stay like this.

How many leaps of faith does it take?

For example, if someone says, "it's so hard to stop smoking"; perhaps the person doesn't want to stop. "I'm addicted." Really? If the small cigar was attached to a button that killed you immediately when you put it to your mouth, you would have no conscious control? It then follows that the person probably doesn't have a reason to stop that is more powerful than their desire.
 Quoting: The Builder

That is also so true. Thank you for reminding me that I had a real powerful reason to stop. Overriding that self sabotaging desire.
Lady of Stars

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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Everything that happens is you.

If you are perceiving something, it is you.

You are free to interpret reality as you'd like.

Your 'free speech' is beyond just words. It is everything that you experience.

But it doesn't mean, of course, that your basest layer of perspective (i.e., your "conscious mind") will accept or understand the depth of what is being experienced.
 Quoting: The Builder


You lose me sometimes with answers like this.

If I am everything, who/what does that make you?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

By saying "..what does that make you?" you are implying that I am not you, also.

Think of it like this: You Are All That You Interpret and All That You Perceive.

How you perceive 'me' is still you. You are not perceiving the 'whole' of me and nor do you need to.

If you did, you would see that it is you. You don't perceive that because you are only perceiving a part of me. It is not possible to perceive all of me or anything else, or perceive your self wholly.

This is confusing, yes.. because our language has evolved away from understanding such concepts.
 Quoting: The Builder


You are a very strong presence for me. In the feels of an other. I feel like you could gobble me up at any moment. I don’t necessarily feel that I could do that to you though. Hence the feeling of you having a distinct sense of autonomy within me. (Does that make sense?)

(I’m so curious how you perceive me)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Like a character in a story that I am writing.

I listen to you. We talk. I "hear" you in my thoughts. I don't really want to know what happens next, because it's more important to focus on writing the story as it is.
 Quoting: The Builder


Thank God. We are on the same page then. It almost feels like a ‘choose your own adventure.’ My future feels unwritten in so many ways now. It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

‘All roads lead to Rome’

I could change the plot, yes, but then I would not be letting the story unfold by itself. The world makes it own story, in a way, based on how the characters have evolved in my 'brain'.

But each character is writing their own story, too.

And I am a character in the story that 'God' is writing, so to speak. You are as real as someone/something could ever possibly be, as am I.
 Quoting: The Builder


I hear you saying...where’s the fun in that?

Free will is an interesting dance.

Yeah, sometimes I question if I’m real at all and then, who the hell dreamed me up...what were they thinking...and also, Help!

My reality is disintegrating. Very real-ly. I don’t comprehend how I could interpret ‘this’ as anything but a nightmare-in-the-dream. My closest relationships reflecting back to me so much dysfunction within the operating system. So much suffering. So little love.

I must be such an asshole of a human if this is the best I can dream up for myself. To look at it as anything but hell seems delusional.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

This is all so that you can choose differently.

And then when you've overdosed on "good" things, you will choose the "bad" experiences again.

We breathe in until we've had our fill, and then we breathe out.

This is all so that you can choose differently.

And then when you've overdosed on "good" things, you will choose the "bad" experiences again.

We breathe in until we've had our fill, and then we breathe out.
 Quoting: The Builder

I don’t remember a time of overdosing on good things. Not in my life. It’s been trial by fire all the way through.

I did this mental exercise over the years...retracing the story of my life...seeing what I would change if I could....eventually, I figured out that I wouldn’t change a thing about my life path and how I arrived at this moment....other than being born.

Again, how do we as individuals deal with what is transpiring right now globally? I mean, I hear you, but how do I do that? Choose differently in relationship to Covid? Covid has changed the geometry of society in such a massive way. It’s the Global 9/11. Borders shoring up. Families divided. Isolation. Prison planet.

For me, I have boiled it down to, do I choose fear or love? I hug everybody. Respect others choices on it. I don’t worry about it actually. It’s like an afterthought until I go in town and am reminded.

Put it this way, if Covid kills me, please see the humor!
Lady of Stars

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07/19/2021 08:14 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
My reality is disintegrating. Very real-ly. I don’t comprehend how I could interpret ‘this’ as anything but a nightmare-in-the-dream. My closest relationships reflecting back to me so much dysfunction within the operating system. So much suffering. So little love.

I must be such an asshole of a human if this is the best I can dream up for myself. To look at it as anything but hell seems delusional.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then choose differently.

Don't choose Chaos and expect sweet-smelling roses.
 Quoting: The Builder


I tend to think that I don’t have a lot of chaotic choices that I’m making in my everyday life. Maybe I’m mistaken.

(If I could bottle up the sweet smell of my roses to share with all of you, I would. I have never in my life smelled something so sweet! Delectable! They are in full bloom! My Mother’s Day gift this year.)
Lady of Stars

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07/19/2021 08:23 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Then, at the end of the day, you're comfortable where you are.

Or, you could stop forcing the 'place' to be something it is not. That would cause tension. Your heart led you there but it doesn't mean you aren't supposed to turn back 2 seconds later. Perhaps that 2 seconds was enough to do the job. [But also see below]

If your heart never steered you wrong then why is it unhappy? Perhaps the heart is not what should lead us, but provide only the fuel to get there.
 Quoting: The Builder


It’s the frame I’m in, in this moment. Having realizations. Revelations. Some ‘come-to-Jesus’-moments. I’m in the processing. Cycling with the grief complex. The divine feminine in me waking up to...all this.

Perhaps that’s what’s happening for me as we speak. May my mind take me by the hand then and lead the way onward.

Are you imprisoned in the state? Or, do you have something of a choice (no matter how difficult doing that might be).
 Quoting: The Builder


Sure feels that way.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then find out why you want it to feel that way.

Don't assume that you don't want 'bad' feelings for yourself.
 Quoting: The Builder


In a way, I have felt under a form of ‘house arrest’ for the last decade. Tethered. Now, I’m like, uh-oh, am I entering solitary confinement if I stay here?

The long walk home.

I choose the guillotine. Looks like mercy from where I’m standing. This choice has surprisingly not been dificult at all.

As you always like to remind me...I all ways have a choice. But really, where would I go? Where does someone like me fit? I make sense right here.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars


That's the sound of fear talking.

Fear does not change reality, only how it seems to you. It really keeps us from experiencing who and what we really are.
 Quoting: The Builder

Fear is a mighty teacher. A spot light.

At least here, I know the potentialities. Have relations. Familiarity. My community, although loving their artificial government right now, will totally come together, support and survive then thrive when the shit eventually hits the fan. This I know. My husband will be the best apocalypse partner. He is the most intelligent man I know in the real. Purposeful. He can do anything. Build anything. Wire anything. Grow anything. (That is, if our geometry holds and reconfigures after 25 years..which remains to be seen...and is also scary af.)

Not to mention all the ‘others’ lurking around here :)

I do know that I would be missed even if no one understood what was missing.

This past year for me has been everything under the sun. I am not the same person.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then you will probably stay where you are. You're comfortable.

It doesn't mean, however, that you will experience 'bad' things in future being in the same place. You can have a plethora of beautiful and wonderful experiences right where you are, but it will take much more effort to reinterpret where you are. That is why we 'change' our particulars such as location; to make the re-interpretation easier and more obvious.

It might be time to re-organise your life. Find out what your emotions are attached to, for example, and send them on their way. Move furniture around (or get rid of it). Modify relationships. Take on a new style of dress. These are just slaps in your own face to show that you are ready to let go of old interpretations that are past their time.

Be comfortable with a new kind of interpretation.
 Quoting: The Builder


I am comfortable in some ways. In others, I’m way far out of my comfort zone.

Time will tell.

Emotions attached to my husband, my daughter, my town, and this.
Figuring out how and what to send where. Am I even capable? I am calling on my own BraveHeart to help me see this through.

This past year has been a continual slap-me-up-the-side-of-the-head kinda year.
Lady of Stars

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07/19/2021 08:28 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Yes, the two have all ready merged. Some see it as 'clown world' but it is really us trying to make sense of who we really are. Reality is becoming more flexible (and strange) as we become more metaphysical beings.

The 'new Earth' will take some more time to be seen, but not before we learn how to see it.

Communism is the 'last stand' between Chaos and Order. They've had a bit of practice, and now it's time for the real thing.

It is simply 'big government' or the opposite of self-governance.

They will 'lose', of course, because they are playing a role in support of this Christ.

The anti-Christ supports the efforts of the Christ, and the Christ supports the efforts of the anti-Christ. Ultimately the two are the same.

Chaos is needed because we will re-fashion what is 'evil' into something more productive. We aren't going back to the Old World where people had Christ in their hearts (self-governance and self-regulation, awareness of self in others, and reciprocal actions) but are building something new that incorporates both. A world of more balance, if you will, that can only happen through the security of being Nothing-in-particular-yet-all-that-is.
 Quoting: The Builder


Incorporates both of ??? Christ and Chaos?

And I have no f'kn idea what I'm doing, but I will eventually get it right. I would do it a trillion times before I think of giving up, but fortunately it will take only a few hundred trials.

We should begin to see the pendulum swing back again in 6-9 years.
 Quoting: The Builder


Me either :)

Me, too! (I have had some extreme moments of doubt though. Doubt is the killer of this dream)

A wise man teaches me that practice is everything.
DODEC
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07/20/2021 03:24 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
work some magic on the Three Gorges Dam please
Lady of Stars

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07/21/2021 10:10 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
I drove behind a car that had the license plate ‘MÉTIS 3’. I found it funny. I tried to take a pic but it didn’t turn out. The dudes in the car def looked the part! Haha
The Builder  (OP)

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07/22/2021 12:28 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Do you absolutely need to live where you're living?

Are you imprisoned in the state? Or, do you have something of a choice (no matter how difficult doing that might be).
 Quoting: The Builder


no, I don’t. I keep telling myself I need to live close to my parents and my son, but I am sure they would want me to live wherever I would be happy.

Within a few weeks I can choose where I want to live, because my divorce is finalized then.

But The Netherlands are very small and very regulated though. You cannot camp wherever you want for example, plus rent and house prices are through the roof. so: it would be living outside of the Netherlands.

I have been thinking about Sweden, somewhere in the woods. But at this moment you cannot go there from the Netherlands without getting vaccinated or tested (both of which I am not prepared to do)
 Quoting: Tuuur 3.0

According to the The Public Health Agency of Sweden, they accept PCR, LAMP, TMA or 'rapid' antigen tests. Perhaps a test where you supply your own cotton swab with cheek cells? This might be helpful, or not: [link to www.rijksoverheid.nl (secure)]
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
SpawnX

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07/22/2021 12:44 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
What makes a reader of words found on this thread resistant to multiple c-19 vacancies vaccines.

Is it our own little battle of less governance.

As it's just a play to another play to gain more pieces.

Last Edited by SpawnX on 07/22/2021 12:46 AM
The Builder  (OP)

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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Go beyond what sounds good to what might be more likely to be true.

Someone that eats lots of fattening foods, for example, might give the excuses that they can't help themselves, have a low metabolism, aren't really that fat, etc. Their mind would lean towards what allows the self to not feel threatened.

But it is more likely that they want to become fat or unhealthy.
 Quoting: The Builder


What, that I actually prefer chaos, conspiracies, pain, separation, hate and lies?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Let's boil it all down to "chaos" and assume that it has some validity in order to see where it might lead.

Have you conditioned yourself to lean more towards Chaos through the choices you have made in your life? This is not to ignore the direction you've turned to over the past year, of course, but how Chaos may still influence your interpretation of reality.

Its music is your still your lifeblood, right?

If you choose Chaos daily, at times, don't be surprised when it chooses you, too.
 Quoting: The Builder


It has validity.. yes.

And yes, it is.

The Prince of Peace found me in my mother’s womb. The Lords of Chaos at the age of 6. I remember it vividly. I’ve been dancing with chaos ever since. Trying to find my way through.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

You know, you don't need to find your way out of Chaos.

There is nothing inherently wrong with it. One could have a good and happy life following Chaos. It's counter-intuitive, I know, but "good" needs both Chaos and Order to exist.

I have been doing....a lot. I seem to be approaching that which I have been ‘putting off.” The elephant in my mind, so to speak. This is hard. On everyone.

I’m scared about what this means for me in the short term. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it. I am mustering up the courage to pull the trigger and thinking about timing.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Is there a way to sample it first before you buy in?

Here's one: easier to believe than to realise.

Perhaps something isn't 'easy' because you don't want it.
 Quoting: The Builder


That is so true. To realize...takes action.

Please stop saying I don’t want it. It’s so far from the truth of how I feel inside.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Realise that 'the truth' (as you imply it) has nothing to do with how you feel :)

Here, I wasn't referring to how you felt, of course, but more of what could be the reality. Oftentimes, it is very different.

I’ve never felt this way before that I remember. About anything. I am in unchartered territory for myself. Dancing with my own fears. Of abandonment. Not measuring up. Being enough. Who am I really in this sea of relationships? I’m sussing out what it’s showing me. Looking at the probabilities. Asking myself am I ok with the worst possible outcome? I know it can’t stay like this.

How many leaps of faith does it take?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Zero.

We create our own dramas, because we decide how to interpret reality.

The Absolute isn't trying to show us anything. We are just trying to avoid being the Absolute because we are afraid of not existing. And so we create endless dramas, none of which require any leaps of faith beyond that which we ourselves have built in.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/22/2021 01:39 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Everything that happens is you.

If you are perceiving something, it is you.

You are free to interpret reality as you'd like.

Your 'free speech' is beyond just words. It is everything that you experience.

But it doesn't mean, of course, that your basest layer of perspective (i.e., your "conscious mind") will accept or understand the depth of what is being experienced.
 Quoting: The Builder


You lose me sometimes with answers like this.

If I am everything, who/what does that make you?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

By saying "..what does that make you?" you are implying that I am not you, also.

Think of it like this: You Are All That You Interpret and All That You Perceive.

How you perceive 'me' is still you. You are not perceiving the 'whole' of me and nor do you need to.

If you did, you would see that it is you. You don't perceive that because you are only perceiving a part of me. It is not possible to perceive all of me or anything else, or perceive your self wholly.

This is confusing, yes.. because our language has evolved away from understanding such concepts.
 Quoting: The Builder


You are a very strong presence for me. In the feels of an other. I feel like you could gobble me up at any moment. I don’t necessarily feel that I could do that to you though. Hence the feeling of you having a distinct sense of autonomy within me. (Does that make sense?)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Think of it like a dream, then, where I am a giant walrus looking down at you while you're gardening.

Yes, I could swallow you up. But then you might be forgetting that it's your dream to begin with lol

(I’m so curious how you perceive me)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Like a character in a story that I am writing.

I listen to you. We talk. I "hear" you in my thoughts. I don't really want to know what happens next, because it's more important to focus on writing the story as it is.
 Quoting: The Builder


Thank God. We are on the same page then. It almost feels like a ‘choose your own adventure.’ My future feels unwritten in so many ways now. It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

‘All roads lead to Rome’
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Indeed.

It doesn't really matter which path you choose. Some paths just take longer (or far longer) than others.

I could change the plot, yes, but then I would not be letting the story unfold by itself. The world makes it own story, in a way, based on how the characters have evolved in my 'brain'.

But each character is writing their own story, too.

And I am a character in the story that 'God' is writing, so to speak. You are as real as someone/something could ever possibly be, as am I.
 Quoting: The Builder


I hear you saying...where’s the fun in that?

Free will is an interesting dance.

Yeah, sometimes I question if I’m real at all and then, who the hell dreamed me up...what were they thinking...and also, Help!
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Changing the plot was fun in the beginning, among other fun things, but it creates more 'trouble' than it's worth.

Changing how it happens, on the other hand, can still be both challenging and entertaining.

I don’t remember a time of overdosing on good things. Not in my life. It’s been trial by fire all the way through.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Well, according to your timeline the 'Lord of Chaos' found you at 6, so I suppose you had had enough of 'that other thing' before then :)

I did this mental exercise over the years...retracing the story of my life...seeing what I would change if I could....eventually, I figured out that I wouldn’t change a thing about my life path and how I arrived at this moment....other than being born.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

:)

Again, how do we as individuals deal with what is transpiring right now globally? I mean, I hear you, but how do I do that? Choose differently in relationship to Covid? Covid has changed the geometry of society in such a massive way. It’s the Global 9/11. Borders shoring up. Families divided. Isolation. Prison planet.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Perhaps we can learn more about how people dealt with it the numerous times such a thing happened before.

For me, I have boiled it down to, do I choose fear or love? I hug everybody. Respect others choices on it.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Hugging or respecting others is neither fear nor love, of course, but 'fear' plays a big part in what is happening.

Much of what you see is fake, on both sides of the fence.

The goal is fear, which is the only way that large populations can be managed. We haven't yet realised that we don't need those types of systems.

I don’t worry about it actually. It’s like an afterthought until I go in town and am reminded.

Put it this way, if Covid kills me, please see the humor!
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

How could something in a story kill you?
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/22/2021 01:52 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
My reality is disintegrating. Very real-ly. I don’t comprehend how I could interpret ‘this’ as anything but a nightmare-in-the-dream. My closest relationships reflecting back to me so much dysfunction within the operating system. So much suffering. So little love.

I must be such an asshole of a human if this is the best I can dream up for myself. To look at it as anything but hell seems delusional.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then choose differently.

Don't choose Chaos and expect sweet-smelling roses.
 Quoting: The Builder


I tend to think that I don’t have a lot of chaotic choices that I’m making in my everyday life. Maybe I’m mistaken.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

It doesn't need to be alot. It could just be one or two major ones that are the 'bottleneck' to your reality's natural flow.

(If I could bottle up the sweet smell of my roses to share with all of you, I would. I have never in my life smelled something so sweet! Delectable! They are in full bloom! My Mother’s Day gift this year.)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

I can imagine :)
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Fear is a mighty teacher. A spot light.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

When it is challenged, yes.

I am comfortable in some ways. In others, I’m way far out of my comfort zone.

Time will tell.

Emotions attached to my husband, my daughter, my town, and this.
Figuring out how and what to send where. Am I even capable? I am calling on my own BraveHeart to help me see this through.

This past year has been a continual slap-me-up-the-side-of-the-head kinda year.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Find new dramas to focus on if you think you don't want them.

"Idle hands are the devil’s workshop," the breeding ground for unnecessary dramas.

Build the dramas that you prefer.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Yes, the two have all ready merged. Some see it as 'clown world' but it is really us trying to make sense of who we really are. Reality is becoming more flexible (and strange) as we become more metaphysical beings.

The 'new Earth' will take some more time to be seen, but not before we learn how to see it.

Communism is the 'last stand' between Chaos and Order. They've had a bit of practice, and now it's time for the real thing.

It is simply 'big government' or the opposite of self-governance.

They will 'lose', of course, because they are playing a role in support of this Christ.

The anti-Christ supports the efforts of the Christ, and the Christ supports the efforts of the anti-Christ. Ultimately the two are the same.

Chaos is needed because we will re-fashion what is 'evil' into something more productive. We aren't going back to the Old World where people had Christ in their hearts (self-governance and self-regulation, awareness of self in others, and reciprocal actions) but are building something new that incorporates both. A world of more balance, if you will, that can only happen through the security of being Nothing-in-particular-yet-all-that-is.
 Quoting: The Builder


Incorporates both of ??? Christ and Chaos?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Yes.

The more 'balanced' it is the longer it will last.

We can interpret Chaos in ways that provide a greater benefit to humanity and our reality.

'Christ' is simply the self, and awareness thereof, which dictates self-regulation and self-governance.

The self needs Chaos in order to be. For best results, we can learn to manage Chaos rather letting it get out of control.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
work some magic on the Three Gorges Dam please
 Quoting: DODEC 80408635

What would be the benefit?
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
I drove behind a car that had the license plate ‘MÉTIS 3’. I found it funny. I tried to take a pic but it didn’t turn out. The dudes in the car def looked the part! Haha
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Curious. Do you think you would have noticed if it was being driven behind you?
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
What makes a reader of words found on this thread resistant to multiple c-19 vacancies vaccines.

Is it our own little battle of less governance.

As it's just a play to another play to gain more pieces.
 Quoting: SpawnX

There are, as all ways, multiple layers of deception at work.

The first, what most would accept.

The next, what the few who do not accept the first would accept.

The next, what those stuck at the first two do not think about.

This can be applied to any of their deceptions. It's very effective at keeping the more-true intentions hidden. Usually, just two layers are needed.

The people telling you about the first layer (i.e., the 'mainstream media') are of the same cut of fabric as the people telling you about the second layer (i.e., the 'alternative media').

There is no real 'alternative media' of any notable ranking.

Fear is the goal, and the first two serve that purpose.
video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
The Builder  (OP)

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07/22/2021 02:27 AM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Perhaps relevant...


video 6: <<Beyond the Red Pill: Top 10 Black Pills About America>> [link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Anonymous Coward
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07/22/2021 03:24 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
I was mopping a floor that I had just swept and I was thinking about what kind of change would I like to bring forth into my perspective. I decided I would like to manifest information that could serve as proof capable of withstanding whatever logical narrative I would later attribute to the event. (Hope that makes sense. I tend to logically explain these types of things after they occur, “it would have happened anyways… etc..”).

Anyhow, I suddenly noticed a bottle cap laying right in the middle of the room, even though I had just swept there moments ago. I picked it up and went to the trash bin to toss it out. Laying perfectly on top of the bin was a fortune cookie fortune reading: “he who can take advice is sometimes superior to those who give it.”

I have my own interpretation of the quote, but in the spirit of the quote, I would be interested in yours.
Lady of Stars

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07/22/2021 05:37 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
You know, you don't need to find your way out of Chaos.

There is nothing inherently wrong with it. One could have a good and happy life following Chaos. It's counter-intuitive, I know, but "good" needs both Chaos and Order to exist.
 Quoting: The Builder


I know. I don’t even think that’s possible anyways. I guess you could say that I am aiming for whatever’s next...the trajectory’s being laid.

I have been doing....a lot. I seem to be approaching that which I have been ‘putting off.” The elephant in my mind, so to speak. This is hard. On everyone.

I’m scared about what this means for me in the short term. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it. I am mustering up the courage to pull the trigger and thinking about timing.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Is there a way to sample it first before you buy in?
 Quoting: The Builder


That would be nice. If possible.

I’ve never felt this way before that I remember. About anything. I am in unchartered territory for myself. Dancing with my own fears. Of abandonment. Not measuring up. Being enough. Who am I really in this sea of relationships? I’m sussing out what it’s showing me. Looking at the probabilities. Asking myself am I ok with the worst possible outcome? I know it can’t stay like this.

How many leaps of faith does it take?
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Zero.

We create our own dramas, because we decide how to interpret reality.

The Absolute isn't trying to show us anything. We are just trying to avoid being the Absolute because we are afraid of not existing. And so we create endless dramas, none of which require any leaps of faith beyond that which we ourselves have built in.
 Quoting: The Builder


That’s funny. Because where I’m sitting, non-existence is actually looking mighty pertty compared to whatever ‘this existence’ is. To my conscious mind at least.

Well, leaps of faith and ‘free will to God’ are the same thing to me. Why do I do this to myself?

One thing I do know, my emotions are very proportional and appropriate given the life I have lived. Am living. I’m proud of myself in this respect.

‘Get your emotions in check
Ask, how could I be wrong?’
Has proven very useful.
Lady of Stars

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07/22/2021 05:51 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
You are a very strong presence for me. In the feels of an other. I feel like you could gobble me up at any moment. I don’t necessarily feel that I could do that to you though. Hence the feeling of you having a distinct sense of autonomy within me. (Does that make sense?)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Think of it like a dream, then, where I am a giant walrus looking down at you while you're gardening.

Yes, I could swallow you up. But then you might be forgetting that it's your dream to begin with lol
 Quoting: The Builder


You sure about that?

Sure feels like it’s your dream and I’m just a fictional character.

(I’m so curious how you perceive me)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Like a character in a story that I am writing.

I listen to you. We talk. I "hear" you in my thoughts. I don't really want to know what happens next, because it's more important to focus on writing the story as it is.
 Quoting: The Builder


Thank God. We are on the same page then. It almost feels like a ‘choose your own adventure.’ My future feels unwritten in so many ways now. It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

‘All roads lead to Rome’
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Indeed.

It doesn't really matter which path you choose. Some paths just take longer (or far longer) than others.
 Quoting: The Builder


That’s the thing, it matters to me.

Changing the plot was fun in the beginning, among other fun things, but it creates more 'trouble' than it's worth.
 Quoting: The Builder


Glad someone’s been having fun. Lord knows it hasn’t been me. I feel like I’ve been in the trenches pretty much my entire life. With brief moments of reprieve and rest. Acknowledging the bloom amongst the ashes.
https://imgur.com/zKu1IDk


Changing how it happens, on the other hand, can still be both challenging and entertaining.
 Quoting: The Builder


Your favorites. That engage you.

I don’t remember a time of overdosing on good things. Not in my life. It’s been trial by fire all the way through.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Well, according to your timeline the 'Lord of Chaos' found you at 6, so I suppose you had had enough of 'that other thing' before then :)
 Quoting: The Builder


No. It just amplified. By the way, I’d like to see someone else attempt to make a life like mine, make sense. Good luck. Line up in just such a way that....all things are possible. Maybe that’s why I am who I am and I am where I am. Doing what I am doing.

‘Does anyone else want to volunteer to live my life???’

I didn’t think so. (I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else. It begins and ends with me)

I don’t worry about it actually. It’s like an afterthought until I go in town and am reminded.

Put it this way, if Covid kills me, please see the humor!
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

How could something in a story kill you?
 Quoting: The Builder


Wait, what...am I one of those fictional characters that won’t die? I thought you said I am realer than real? Can’t have your cake and it eat it too.
Lady of Stars

User ID: 75135236
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07/22/2021 05:53 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
My reality is disintegrating. Very real-ly. I don’t comprehend how I could interpret ‘this’ as anything but a nightmare-in-the-dream. My closest relationships reflecting back to me so much dysfunction within the operating system. So much suffering. So little love.

I must be such an asshole of a human if this is the best I can dream up for myself. To look at it as anything but hell seems delusional.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Then choose differently.

Don't choose Chaos and expect sweet-smelling roses.
 Quoting: The Builder


I tend to think that I don’t have a lot of chaotic choices that I’m making in my everyday life. Maybe I’m mistaken.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

It doesn't need to be alot. It could just be one or two major ones that are the 'bottleneck' to your reality's natural flow.
 Quoting: The Builder


Clearly, posting here is one of the most chaotic choices I make. Should I stop?

(If I could bottle up the sweet smell of my roses to share with all of you, I would. I have never in my life smelled something so sweet! Delectable! They are in full bloom! My Mother’s Day gift this year.)
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

I can imagine :)
 Quoting: The Builder

I’m certain you can.
Lady of Stars

User ID: 75135236
United States
07/22/2021 05:56 PM
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Re: Notes from an 'Alternate Universe': The Return of the Blue Kachina
Fear is a mighty teacher. A spot light.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

When it is challenged, yes.
 Quoting: The Builder


It has shown me a lot. That’s for sure. Hand in hand with leaps-of-faith.

I am comfortable in some ways. In others, I’m way far out of my comfort zone.

Time will tell.

Emotions attached to my husband, my daughter, my town, and this.
Figuring out how and what to send where. Am I even capable? I am calling on my own BraveHeart to help me see this through.

This past year has been a continual slap-me-up-the-side-of-the-head kinda year.
 Quoting: Lady of Stars

Find new dramas to focus on if you think you don't want them.

"Idle hands are the devil’s workshop," the breeding ground for unnecessary dramas.

Build the dramas that you prefer.
 Quoting: The Builder


What do you think I’m doing?





GLP