Hospice patient. Real Time. Real World. UPDATE: Noslot Gained His Wings Last Night. pg 11

We don't die Noslot.

We are transformed. Like the lowly, drab caterpillar changes into the elegantly dressed butterfly.

No longer constrained to the earth, we are given wings to glide throughout the majesty of the heavens.

Born again, my dear friend. Born anew.

Eternal. Echad. One.

Hospice job is to help you pass easily. Basically OD you on morphine. Hospice patients don't have an advocate for them. You have to be your own. Research for cures. Read up on the subject. Found holistic remedies help. (why 120 doctors had died/killed in 2 years) Helps pass the time. I know at times it very difficult. Never trusted what the doctors were doing. I was suppose to die. My hospice got paid near $5000 a month from medicare. You think they would want to keep us alive.

Well I sure can’t argue with you about hospice helping us to pass easily if that’s our desire. And yup you could OD on morph. Heck I have bottles and vials full of the stuff. In case anyone is wondering they make me drowsy, but I’ve never felt “high” if that is akin to having a couple of beers. Also if they suspected I was abusing it things would immediately change.

In so far as patients not having an advocate I would agree especially absent a caring and invested family. Thats a long discussion with difficult and perhaps impossible answers.

I’m also thinking I’m coming across as a fatalist or that I have given up hope or resigned myself to just my death. Perhaps I have on some level. False hope would prevent me from accepting the difficult truths. My denial also prevents me from having honest conversations because I’m going to collude in this false hope. I also believe its a function of age meaning life experiences such as they are. And frankly faith too.

Whatever the days and however they unfold I will live them and do so with reckless abandon. I don’t mean simply survive, but squeeze every drop of promise they hold! And that includes my fears, apprehension, ignorance, and the most dreadful taking stock of the past and embracing the selfish, self-centered man who tried to hide in plain site.

I have never felt more freedom to be me or frankly more alive. If I had it to do over I wouldn’t change a thing. I needed every experience I ever had to shape me, grow me and prepare me for this journey. And I’m not going to do this perfectly.

Well the soap box called and its tired of me standing on it.

You see there really is a caring, wise and loving woman behind that persona. We've had honest and candid discussions. All it takes is speaking ones truth and listening to others. As we used to say...see you on the high ground my friend.

Why not give more details about your illness? Maybe there are treatment options that you’ve not heard of. Have you already given up? If so, I don’t blame you, but if not, who knows?

Blessings to you OP

Haven't read your whole thread yet, just wanted to say that.
Continuing.

What I will say is I tend to be the sort of person who’s curious and probably distrusts most “considered opinions”. Yeah I’m that guy who’s subscribed to the many journals and research publications because I wanted to understand how my disease process was killing me and what the truly smart people had learned or were in the process of learning. I guess I could of said all of this quite simply as knowledge is power.

Have I given up? Heck no. I chose to live…but as realistic as I can be if I’m ever going to be honest in the other areas of my life. I am going to die from this disease process barring Devine intervention. I don’t know the day and the hour, but it’s going to happen. I have the easy job. Its living that’s fraught with suffering and uncertainty.

I feel like I’m in therapy with an audience.

This is difficult as I really value anonymity. I know its an illusion, but this is one "lie" I'm willing to ignore. LOLLLL

My name is Fred and thank you for including me in your kind gesture.

I am the greatest Psychic that ever lived.

But, I can predict only one (1) thing with 100% accuracy.

Everyone looking at, accessing this web-site, posting, reading, on this thread is going to die.

Prove Me Wrong - Pro-Tip: You Can't...!
.

You sir.. are an obnoxious piece of shit... If you were to happen upon my territory, I would blow you away without prejudice... and I would not even blink...

Is this your first attempt at posting something junior? That would be my guess... Get your gears in order and stop being a fucking waste! Try to achieve something. Try to make a name for yourself in a POSITIVE way... Make your parents proud or... make YOURSELF proud...

While that is all true, some people know death is coming and others don't. It's one thing to drop dead from a heart attack or an unexpected accident and another to know you are dying and having to deal with it. Much different story when you have to deal with it in a slow fashion. It's a long goodbye and a lot of thinking and suffering from all parties. It's scary as hell.

There are so many other factors to weigh in here. How about the pain? How about the effect on your loved ones? How about the financial cost? The tolls of dying are quite high when one knows. These horrific experiences are different person to person. So let's not be so flippant. Death and dying is a compicated and terrifying experience.

I'd hope everyone could have a peaceful death, but it just isn't the case for everyone. Please stop being so trite.

That is SO true....

People always say hospice kills. I work on a hospital ward and I would 100% go hospice. Yes It may be slightly speedier as doses of strong pain killers are increased through a syringe driver, but who wants pain. It also provides haloperidol, for sickness, dizziness and hallucinations and hyoscine to stop saliva production. Wet deaths are no good, for patient and definitely not for family as there is a lot of noise involved. I think you are very brave Op and I think its amazing you are sharing this with us.

Last Edited by Ladydoom on 08/18/2019 01:21 AM

I'm asking you nicely to refrain. Please honor my request.

The only thing I could add is I'm glad your here.

Precisely why I don't want political or moral discussions about hospice. This began as my attempt to find another like myself who would be willing to take the risk of befriending his fate. Thank you for your kind words.

That means a lot. Thank you.

You need a small dose of Psilocybin mushrooms, OP. Acquire them at any cost.

Start with half a gram. If that doesn't open your eyes and brighten your day, try the next day with 1 gram.

Please trust me on this. I have nothing more to say. Bless you, and you're welcome.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.I pray when the time comes, the journey will be an easy one.

If the economics are like nursing homes, they make more if the patient dies and a new one is brought in. They keep getting the monthly fees, and there's also a new-resident fee to "buy" your room, which is not returned to the family when you're no longer able to use the room. So they keep cycling patients.

I believe that's why my mother was aggressively pushed into the nursing home care when my father wanted to take care of her in his residential apartment.

This. Astragalus root helps your body regenerate cells to cure itself, it generally reverses "healthy aging" to a state of non-aging.

This probably doesn't apply to home hospice though, because they don't rent you a room, and the start-up fees for the equipment alone can't be enough to make this strategy worthwhile. They'd be more likely to want to hold onto their patients as long as possible, I would guess.

Please remember

This thread isn’t about your Aunt Mary’s or Gramps experiences or to vent your opinions about hospice, death, dying, politics of dying, medical monsters or anything else. Its about your personal experience as a real time, real world, real person hospice patient. Having said this others are welcome to ask appropriate questions,...

My wife's in hospice, heart failure for many years...the folks there are wonderful, very attentive and friendly. Don't know how much more time we have with her, but every day matters now...

I am so thoroughly blesssed to be able to call you my friend, Darling Woman.



OP, I love this thread.

I have worked hospice as a CNA. I went into the field because my grandparetns both had wonderful CNAs.

I placed this threadin my "favorites."

Thank you, OP!

I like your sign.

I made one for my uncle when he passed.
He was a train enthusiast.

The sign said, "All of God's trains, run on time."

Stay upbeat. Your not alone. In fact I wouldn't be too surprised if your passed loved ones are sitting next to you right now. You can talk to them. They can hear just fine.

The hardest part happens when you depart for the next world. ...the ones left behind will miss you. But it's not forever.