Russian scientists unable to study effects of space on human sperm because cosmonauts refuse to fap in orbit.

A study by Russian scientists to examine the effects of space exploration on human sperm production has hit an unforeseen snag – cosmonauts are refusing to collect the necessary material.

The question of mankind’s ability to safely navigate space and survive longer exploratory missions without serious long-term health implications is at the heart of ongoing research into broadening our knowledge away from our home planet.

However, the effects of space travel on one key component in the creation of human life is likely to continue a mystery for the time being, as Russian cosmonauts are refusing to collect semen samples during their space missions.