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Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought

 
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Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
This is Florida, but it is the same here in Seattle. Maybe worse. Everyone is drugged out....

“Florida Man” just keeps getting into more trouble. In recent years, “Florida Man” has become one of the Internet’s hottest memes, and there is never a shortage of new material because residents of the state seem to have a knack for getting arrested for some of the most bizarre crimes imaginable. So earlier today when I saw a headline that said “Florida man strips naked and poops in Naples family’s yard”, I knew that I had to do this article. Normally my articles deal with very heavy topics, and even though this article will be much more light-hearted, I am still making a serious point. Without a doubt, the “Florida Man” headlines below are very funny, but the fact that there are so many of them should disturb all of us. The fabric of our society is literally coming apart right in front of our eyes, and if we continue down this path it is hard to imagine any sort of a positive future for our nation. So please keep that in mind even as you are laughing at these headlines.

If you are not familiar with the “Florida Man” meme, let me give you a few pointers before we get started.

First of all, Florida Man gets arrested a lot. He is always in trouble with the police, and he often leads them on really wild chases.

Florida Man has also usually either been drinking or consuming mind-altering drugs. This often leads to extremely risky behavior, and there are often very funny unintended consequences.

In addition, Florida Man doesn’t really like clothes. In many cases he is either partially or completely naked.

Finally, Florida Man stories get a bonus if they involve animals, injuries, weapons or bodily functions.

With all that being said, here are 30 extremely bizarre Florida Man stories that prove that America is in far more trouble than we thought…


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MyPillowModerator  (OP)
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Thx for the PIN

JC-0bhwg
“I’m the wall that progress ran into"
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Wow. I read the rest of the Florida man incidents...unbelievable...lol
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Wow. I read the rest of the Florida man incidents...unbelievable...lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77565166


Crazy isn't it. 30 arrests. Still on the streets.

That is what they do with all these druggies? Why you may ask? Because there is no money to get off these people.
“I’m the wall that progress ran into"
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Wow. I read the rest of the Florida man incidents...unbelievable...lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77565166


Crazy isn't it. 30 arrests. Still on the streets.

That is what they do with all these druggies? Why you may ask? Because there is no money to get off these people.
 Quoting: MyPillow


The money from druggies comes off probation and programs. At least as far as consumers go. Dealers or people who grow plants they like to put in prison. Especially the privately run for profit prisons.

But MyPillow, why do you have a TP roll as your avatar? And my Mom gave me one of your pillows. It's awesome!
Things are bad enough, there is no need to make anything up. ~Fluffy

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Wow. I read the rest of the Florida man incidents...unbelievable...lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77565166


Crazy isn't it. 30 arrests. Still on the streets.

That is what they do with all these druggies? Why you may ask? Because there is no money to get off these people.
 Quoting: MyPillow


The money from druggies comes off probation and programs. At least as far as consumers go. Dealers or people who grow plants they like to put in prison. Especially the privately run for profit prisons.

But MyPillow, why do you have a TP roll as your avatar? And my Mom gave me one of your pillows. It's awesome!
 Quoting: Fluffy Pancakes


TP and My Pillow are my two favorite PILLOWS!!!! I've slept on a roll of TP in the woods once... s226


I'm glad you love My Pillow.



Last Edited by John Dutton on 04/16/2019 11:02 PM
“I’m the wall that progress ran into"
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Thx for the PIN

JC-0bhwg
 Quoting: MyPillow


That’s some funny stuff right there. I’ve seen the Florida Man threads but never read any of them. That dude sure gets himself into a lot of trouble. On my birthday, for instance, he died in a hurricane.
John 8:32

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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04/16/2019 11:07 PM
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Meh

People have always been drugged out and crazy. It's just now everyone has instant access to be a reporter and read reports.

Welcome to 2019 where everyone with a SoundCloud, Instagram and Twitter is a rapper, model and reporter.
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04/16/2019 11:08 PM

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
FL is filled with deranged, drug infested crazies...
it’s the CA of the east coast.
You are the creator of your own master plan... Make it a good one.

Wake the fuk up and be ready... This is absolutely no time to be stupid!

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
It's always "Florida Man" lol

Something's in the tap water...
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Florida man is the children of New York liberals that fled NYC 40 years ago to enjoy the drugs fresh off the cocaine planes...
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
The Florida Man eating the face off some random dude story was wild...

OP are you from Florida?
Arthur Jackson

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04/16/2019 11:46 PM

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
I wonder if the guy who stole the laxitives was working with the guy with the syringes up his ass?
Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
This is Florida, but it is the same here in Seattle. Maybe worse. Everyone is drugged out....

The fabric of our society is literally coming apart right in front of our eyes, and if we continue down this path it is hard to imagine any sort of a positive future for our nation.
 Quoting: MyPillow


this is it and this is all. It won't get any better until it's done. We are witnessing the fall of a civilization, make no mistake on this. It is what they are counting on.

Ordo Ab Chao
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Wow. I read the rest of the Florida man incidents...unbelievable...lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77565166


Wow. I read the rest of the Florida man incidents...unbelievable...lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77565166


Crazy isn't it. 30 arrests. Still on the streets.

That is what they do with all these druggies? Why you may ask? Because there is no money to get off these people.
 Quoting: MyPillow


GLP has 83 pages of Florida topics

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
What would Doc Holliday or Wyatt Earp do when confronted by Florida Man?
What would Charles Martel or Richard The Lionheart do when confronted by Florida Man?
What would Brigadier General Robin Olds or Navy Seal Rudy Boesch do to Florida Man?
What would Sgt. Ed Exley or Detective Bud White have done to Florida Man?
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
[link to pics.onsizzle.com (secure)]
aquanet
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
The stories are all fake you retards.
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
 Quoting: aquanet






tyrone1








lmao
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
I think many of the "Florida Man" stories are simply fake. I think much of our "news" is actually stories like the World Weekly News guys used to make up in basements - except now they're writing for MSM. It's part of a psy-ops to make us feel terrorized and insecure about our country. Most of this stuff isn't really happening.
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
The stories are all fake you retards.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77330186



EXACTLY!!!! Most if not all, of these stories, are FAKE. Wake the fuck up people, they literally MAKE UP much of the news, including the small bizarre stories. The MSM has become the WORLD WEEKLY NEWS of the past with their Batboy stories.
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04/17/2019 12:38 AM
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
I believe the movie Porky's was set in Florida. chuckle
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04/17/2019 01:11 AM
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
I think many of the "Florida Man" stories are simply fake. I think much of our "news" is actually stories like the World Weekly News guys used to make up in basements - except now they're writing for MSM. It's part of a psy-ops to make us feel terrorized and insecure about our country. Most of this stuff isn't really happening.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73724632


Yea and nukes are fake, the earth is flat, rockets don't work in space, every act of terrorism is a false flag, we know tards.
G3

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
ancient-florida
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
If other states reported their crimes like Florida did Illinois man would win
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Der Störmer had an article on Florida Man recently too.
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
[link to floridaman.com (secure)]

cruise
nutmeg

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
21.3 million (2018) is the population of Florida. Sure...you'll find a few crazies, but there are a lot of great people.
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
 Quoting: MyPillow


Aside from certain advances in technology, mankind is regressing.

It started in the 60s.
Embrace the cognitive dissonance.
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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
thinking...

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Re: Bizarre “Florida Man” Stories That Prove That America Is In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
Wow. I read the rest of the Florida man incidents...unbelievable...lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77565166


Crazy isn't it. 30 arrests. Still on the streets.

That is what they do with all these druggies? Why you may ask? Because there is no money to get off these people.
 Quoting: MyPillow


The money from druggies comes off probation and programs. At least as far as consumers go. Dealers or people who grow plants they like to put in prison. Especially the privately run for profit prisons.

But MyPillow, why do you have a TP roll as your avatar? And my Mom gave me one of your pillows. It's awesome!
 Quoting: Fluffy Pancakes


TP and My Pillow are my two favorite PILLOWS!!!! I've slept on a roll of TP in the woods once... s226


I'm glad you love My Pillow.


 Quoting: MyPillow


Oh my gosh, you're aren't THE Mike Lindell are you?!
In his poem Human Pride, Marx admits that his aim is not to improve the world, reform or revolutionize it, but simply to ruin it and enjoy it being ruined:

With disdain I will throw my gauntlet full in the face of the world,
And see the collapse of this pygmy giant whose fall will not stifle my ardor.
Then will I wander godlike and victorious through the ruins of the world
And, giving my words an active force, I will feel equal to the Creator.

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Normalize every aberrant behavior, bring common all deviancy and let fly the reins of morality and reason, then welcome in that utopia that liberals embrace called communism, that which most Americans with but a shard of ethic would immediately recognize as evil.
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GLP