When You Have A Hard Time Forgiving Someone....

Thanks so much for the birthday wishes but how did you know it was my birthday?

OP you have chosen..... wisely.

And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:30-32.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Colossians 3:12-14.

OP, I have an honest question for you. Since your father was a loser, why did you choose to make your name "Dad's Girl"?

Unmet needs? Forgiving is one thing, but holding on to a childhood need is not.

Or are your referring to your creator and calling Him Daddy?



I'm not being disrespectful so before some kneejerk reader wants to judge the intentions of the honest question, shove it and exercise empathy.

I wanted to talk about this because I know it is one of the most prevalent subjects for our world today. People have had so much abuse and sadness that they feel it is IMPOSSIBLE to forgive those that have abused them.

I am 60 years old now and I had a very sad and disfunctional childhood. I was born with 85% yellow blood because my mother had RH factor and they had to give me a blood transfusion. She was an avid alcoholic since she was 18 and she was 31 when i was born. I was the 3rd of 3 girls and an 'accident' from having too much liquor on New Years Eve. She and my dad divorced when I was 7 and he had been having an affair with some woman down the block. The 23 years they were married they had numerous violent fights and I remember some of them but most of them I blocked from my mind.

My dad remarried a very jealous and vindictive woman with 2 kids. The boy physically assaulted me at the age of 8 and her daughter mocked me and made fun of me at school until I finally had enough and moved in with my aunt at 12. After that I moved from relatives to friends until I finally married at 20 just to get away from everything.

All of that is to say that I carried a lot of bitterness and rejection towards both of my parents. It took until I was 50 years old to understand how to 'forgive' them for what they did to me.

It's a simple remedy but really does work when you use it.

When I was overwhelmed with anger I turned towards God and asked Him to 'show' me each of them from 'His' point of view. Every time I 'saw' a vision of them as a 'child' and what they went through as children. That gave me a whole DIFFERENT perspective and melted my heart.

I learned that ALL of us are simply CHILDREN in these 'grown up' bodies...just trying to understand and keep our heads above water in this crazy and heartless world.

I know it sounds simple but it does WORK! Please don't knock it until you have tried it. It has worked for every single person I've shared it with. It changed their world from that point on.

This world needs LOVE and FORGIVENESS more than anything else. If we simply do these two things, this world will turn around into the world we all dream it to be...

Forgiveness for me means cutting people out of my life and never thinking of them again. It’s impossible to be bitter when you don’t think about. Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.

I read it on one of your old posts. You said the 'first' but you didn't say the month so it was a hit & mess kinda thing.

:)

Edit: I wanted to be the first on glp to wish you a Happy Birthday!

In my world view, we actually choose which family/parents/life situation we are born into. The purpose of life on earth is to learn lessons and evolve into higher awareness. We pick our lessons that we want to learn in this life and we keep repeating those lessons until we have mastered them, then we move on to other lessons. Sometimes we are born into difficult circumstances in order to overcome and evolve by leaps and bounds; but sometimes we are burning off karma for past actions.

Many times people who are abused will become abusers themselves, repeating the life script. It is very freeing to realize that your parents (or whoever) did what they did because of their upbringing. It is your choice to continue to repeat that behavior or to consciously reject that behavior and become a better person, thereby ending the cycle of abuse.

Holding on to old resentments makes you a bitter person. You can’t change the past, but you can change your perspective of the past and instead of clinging to your victim hood, you can let it go of it and move forward toward a better life, a life filled with love and joy.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason, and usually we can’t see the reason at the time that it is happening, but it becomes apparent later. But everything that has happened in your life, good, bad or indifferent has made you into the person that you are at this moment in time. Acceptance of who you are and forgiveness of yourself for your past mistakes is a very good place to start with recovering your authentic self.

We are all human, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Learning from our mistakes is what makes the difference between living a good life or living a life of pain and suffering. Let pain and suffering be your teacher, not your master. Bless you all on your journey home.

We need to forgive others for our own sake.

We must forgive to be forgiven by GOD!

Many blessings to you, OP!

I wanted to talk about this because I know it is one of the most prevalent subjects for our world today. People have had so much abuse and sadness that they feel it is IMPOSSIBLE to forgive those that have abused them.

I am 60 years old now and I had a very sad and disfunctional childhood. I was born with 85% yellow blood because my mother had RH factor and they had to give me a blood transfusion. She was an avid alcoholic since she was 18 and she was 31 when i was born. I was the 3rd of 3 girls and an 'accident' from having too much liquor on New Years Eve. She and my dad divorced when I was 7 and he had been having an affair with some woman down the block. The 23 years they were married they had numerous violent fights and I remember some of them but most of them I blocked from my mind.

My dad remarried a very jealous and vindictive woman with 2 kids. The boy physically assaulted me at the age of 8 and her daughter mocked me and made fun of me at school until I finally had enough and moved in with my aunt at 12. After that I moved from relatives to friends until I finally married at 20 just to get away from everything.

All of that is to say that I carried a lot of bitterness and rejection towards both of my parents. It took until I was 50 years old to understand how to 'forgive' them for what they did to me.

It's a simple remedy but really does work when you use it.

When I was overwhelmed with anger I turned towards God and asked Him to 'show' me each of them from 'His' point of view. Every time I 'saw' a vision of them as a 'child' and what they went through as children. That gave me a whole DIFFERENT perspective and melted my heart.

I learned that ALL of us are simply CHILDREN in these 'grown up' bodies...just trying to understand and keep our heads above water in this crazy and heartless world.

I know it sounds simple but it does WORK! Please don't knock it until you have tried it. It has worked for every single person I've shared it with. It changed their world from that point on.

This world needs LOVE and FORGIVENESS more than anything else. If we simply do these two things, this world will turn around into the world we all dream it to be...

I wanted to talk about this because I know it is one of the most prevalent subjects for our world today. People have had so much abuse and sadness that they feel it is IMPOSSIBLE to forgive those that have abused them.

I am 60 years old now and I had a very sad and disfunctional childhood. I was born with 85% yellow blood because my mother had RH factor and they had to give me a blood transfusion. She was an avid alcoholic since she was 18 and she was 31 when i was born. I was the 3rd of 3 girls and an 'accident' from having too much liquor on New Years Eve. She and my dad divorced when I was 7 and he had been having an affair with some woman down the block. The 23 years they were married they had numerous violent fights and I remember some of them but most of them I blocked from my mind.

My dad remarried a very jealous and vindictive woman with 2 kids. The boy physically assaulted me at the age of 8 and her daughter mocked me and made fun of me at school until I finally had enough and moved in with my aunt at 12. After that I moved from relatives to friends until I finally married at 20 just to get away from everything.

All of that is to say that I carried a lot of bitterness and rejection towards both of my parents. It took until I was 50 years old to understand how to 'forgive' them for what they did to me.

It's a simple remedy but really does work when you use it.

When I was overwhelmed with anger I turned towards God and asked Him to 'show' me each of them from 'His' point of view. Every time I 'saw' a vision of them as a 'child' and what they went through as children. That gave me a whole DIFFERENT perspective and melted my heart.

I learned that ALL of us are simply CHILDREN in these 'grown up' bodies...just trying to understand and keep our heads above water in this crazy and heartless world.

I know it sounds simple but it does WORK! Please don't knock it until you have tried it. It has worked for every single person I've shared it with. It changed their world from that point on.

This world needs LOVE and FORGIVENESS more than anything else. If we simply do these two things, this world will turn around into the world we all dream it to be...

Indeed as it says in the Lord's prayer.

Mat 6:9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Mat 6:10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.

Mat 6:11 Give us this day our daily bread.

Mat 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

Mat 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Note: Something evil is going on because I have always remembered this as on earth, not in earth. The pope wanted to make this change several months ago and somehow he has managed to do it on the internet. The plain fact is that mankind lives on the earth, devils live in the earth.

Its one of those things where we can pass it down the line or break the cycle. I'm trying to break the cycle.