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| 07:45 PM | ||
| Users Online Now: 2,317 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 1,236,778 | |
| Pageviews Today: 2,064,884 | Threads Today: 846 | Posts Today: 14,737 |
| 07:45 PM | ||
When You Have A Hard Time Forgiving Someone.... | |
| Dads girl
Offer Upgrade  User ID: 69601022  United States08/29/2018 11:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I wanted to talk about this because I know it is one of the most prevalent subjects for our world today. People have had so much abuse and sadness that they feel it is IMPOSSIBLE to forgive those that have abused them. I am 60 years old now and I had a very sad and disfunctional childhood. I was born with 85% yellow blood because my mother had RH factor and they had to give me a blood transfusion. She was an avid alcoholic since she was 18 and she was 31 when i was born. I was the 3rd of 3 girls and an 'accident' from having too much liquor on New Years Eve. She and my dad divorced when I was 7 and he had been having an affair with some woman down the block. The 23 years they were married they had numerous violent fights and I remember some of them but most of them I blocked from my mind. My dad remarried a very jealous and vindictive woman with 2 kids. The boy physically assaulted me at the age of 8 and her daughter mocked me and made fun of me at school until I finally had enough and moved in with my aunt at 12. After that I moved from relatives to friends until I finally married at 20 just to get away from everything. All of that is to say that I carried a lot of bitterness and rejection towards both of my parents. It took until I was 50 years old to understand how to 'forgive' them for what they did to me. It's a simple remedy but really does work when you use it. When I was overwhelmed with anger I turned towards God and asked Him to 'show' me each of them from 'His' point of view. Every time I 'saw' a vision of them as a 'child' and what they went through as children. That gave me a whole DIFFERENT perspective and melted my heart. I learned that ALL of us are simply CHILDREN in these 'grown up' bodies...just trying to understand and keep our heads above water in this crazy and heartless world. I know it sounds simple but it does WORK! Please don't knock it until you have tried it. It has worked for every single person I've shared it with. It changed their world from that point on. This world needs LOVE and FORGIVENESS more than anything else. If we simply do these two things, this world will turn around into the world we all dream it to be...  |
| diverdan01
User ID: 39516942 United States08/29/2018 11:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 76637707 United States08/29/2018 11:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Mental Case
User ID: 76886279  United Arab Emirates08/29/2018 11:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I think confusion about forgiveness begins with the words "forgive and forget". That saying is BS! Always forgive. Never forget! When you forgive somebody you are actually helping YOURSELF...not them. You are releasing yourself from the anger and hate and hurt. To forget would be foolish, because then you would never learn...and put yourself in a situation to be abused by that person again. Last Edited by Mental Case on 08/29/2018 11:37 PM If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am! |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 74849029 United States08/29/2018 11:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I wanted to talk about this because I know it is one of the most prevalent subjects for our world today. People have had so much abuse and sadness that they feel it is IMPOSSIBLE to forgive those that have abused them. Quoting: Dads girl I am 60 years old now and I had a very sad and disfunctional childhood. I was born with 85% yellow blood because my mother had RH factor and they had to give me a blood transfusion. She was an avid alcoholic since she was 18 and she was 31 when i was born. I was the 3rd of 3 girls and an 'accident' from having too much liquor on New Years Eve. She and my dad divorced when I was 7 and he had been having an affair with some woman down the block. The 23 years they were married they had numerous violent fights and I remember some of them but most of them I blocked from my mind. My dad remarried a very jealous and vindictive woman with 2 kids. The boy physically assaulted me at the age of 8 and her daughter mocked me and made fun of me at school until I finally had enough and moved in with my aunt at 12. After that I moved from relatives to friends until I finally married at 20 just to get away from everything. All of that is to say that I carried a lot of bitterness and rejection towards both of my parents. It took until I was 50 years old to understand how to 'forgive' them for what they did to me. It's a simple remedy but really does work when you use it. When I was overwhelmed with anger I turned towards God and asked Him to 'show' me each of them from 'His' point of view. Every time I 'saw' a vision of them as a 'child' and what they went through as children. That gave me a whole DIFFERENT perspective and melted my heart. I learned that ALL of us are simply CHILDREN in these 'grown up' bodies...just trying to understand and keep our heads above water in this crazy and heartless world. I know it sounds simple but it does WORK! Please don't knock it until you have tried it. It has worked for every single person I've shared it with. It changed their world from that point on. This world needs LOVE and FORGIVENESS more than anything else. If we simply do these two things, this world will turn around into the world we all dream it to be... We need to forgive others for our own sake. We must forgive to be forgiven by GOD! Many blessings to you, OP!  |
| tcs
User ID: 76845798  Canada08/29/2018 11:52 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm still trusting God will bring us through. I hope no one as to endure such evil but if they do, I hope they keep the Faith while they go through the fire. " Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord." ~ Jer. 17:5 "From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand" |
| Dads girl
(OP) User ID: 69601022 United States08/29/2018 11:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If we could see into the spirital realm, we would see that all of us are under attack by the demonic forces that rule this world. If we never see this, it is too our benefit to forgive (but not forget) those that have us wrong. I understand why there are those who just can't forgive no matter what. Somehow you have to love yourself enough to release yourself from this poison and love others 'no matter what'. Unforgiveness is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die... Love yourself enough to forgive...do it for YOU! |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 39440397 United States08/30/2018 12:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | :mw_cry: sorry you went thru all that as a child. thank you for sharing here and helping others, because of what you went thru, you understand. :mw_flowers: forgiveness for one person in my childhood remains my stumbling block. i can and have forgiven others. so thank you OP for sharing, i am willing to try this approach. :mw_thanks: |
| Dads girl
(OP) User ID: 69601022 United States08/30/2018 12:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Home and Family
User ID: 73580134 United States08/30/2018 12:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It was hard for me to read your post. I am striving to achieve the high level of love and compassion that you attained when viewing family relationships. Good Job! It takes so much courage to do what you've done, and also to share it with others in a sane and rational way. I just want to acknowledge that. You are trailblazing a path which no one dares to tread, yet must be tread if humanity is to evolve in an organic, wholesome, loving way. Sorry if this sounds wierd, but I appreciate your courage. Thank you so much for sharing your healing wisdom, it may be very valuable to vulnerable and needy people, also to those who are advanced upon the path of healing from traumatic abuse. No fux given. Let's make the world a safe place for children. I only post when I drink, if my comments are out of line, refer to line one. |
| St. Ranger
User ID: 76833111 United States08/30/2018 12:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Didyabringyabongalong
User ID: 74912760  Australia08/30/2018 02:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I think confusion about forgiveness begins with the words "forgive and forget". Quoting: Mental Case That saying is BS! Always forgive. Never forget! When you forgive somebody you are actually helping YOURSELF...not them. You are releasing yourself from the anger and hate and hurt. To forget would be foolish, because then you would never learn...and put yourself in a situation to be abused by that person again. In my opinion the forget part is attached to forgiveness in that those thoughts aren't playing over and over in your mind and recreating the feelings of bitterness/resentment etc. It makes you a prisoner in your own mind and is pretty much cancer. Then to forget as you put it, ie placing yourself in the exact same scenario is indeed foolish but something which seems to be a very common characteristic to most people, albeit in varying degrees. And a hard cycle to break for some. Perhaps if a person were to fully learn from an experience and rise above they could forget in the sense that don't need to pay any mind to fear of repeating the same mistakes again for if it were to present itself again, the person now wiser and empowered just squishes it like a bug and stops it there and then. dunno, just my 2 cents I guess. @OP, good for you that you've found a way to rid yourself of harmful energies.  . Is reality based on geometry? [link to youtu.be (secure)] [link to youtu.be (secure)] [link to youtu.be (secure)] [link to youtu.be (secure)] The Fingerspitzengefühl is strong with you, but you are not a Jedi yet. |
| Vasili
User ID: 72304389 United States08/30/2018 02:21 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i have a difficult time wrapping my head around forgiving someone who has shown no contrition. i do not understand how it works, forgiving someone who has not apologized. i mean i can say the words, but i do not feel any different and it seems to me that forgiving someone should somehow feel different than before i "forgave" them. Now, if they owned their shit, acknowledged their wrongdoing, and sincerely apologized, then I am sure that i could forgive and sincerely feel the difference in real time. i guess i am saying that i do not understand how to get rid of that grudge feeling, if they are not a sincere part of the process. Last Edited by Vasily on 08/30/2018 02:21 AM |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 73096502 United States08/30/2018 02:22 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Vasili
User ID: 72304389 United States08/30/2018 02:29 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, my apologies. i did not read your post all the way through before making my post on your thread. now, that i have read it... thank you for the suggestion. i am going to try to do what you do. i am tired of feeling bitter. Last Edited by Vasily on 08/30/2018 02:31 AM |
| SDF880
User ID: 69153735 United States08/30/2018 02:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When I was 4 I was sexually abused by 4 of mom's friends! They pulled my pants down and played with my parts and laughed and I felt so ashamed and scared! I never forgave them and never said a word to mom! Many other stories I could add but this is so messed up and I know crazy shit happens to many people! OP turned to God and that's fine I did the opposite questioning how G could allow this? Many years later I live in a quiet house with none of the craziness but I really can't forgive or forget! Peace! Goldie did you say attack plan "R"? |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 74989921 United States08/30/2018 03:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So sorry for your pain OP...and yes, what a great way to try and understand others. see them as children-most it's either identify with the victim in their parents or identify with the aggressor. It's all they know. I had a cold mother, and never understood until the time she told me she used to go to bed each night wondering if her mother would come in and kill her as she slept, since she hated her so much. You have to be loved to know how to love, and you have to be a strong person to be able to overcome that and teach yourself how to love others. |
| Home and Family
User ID: 73580134 United States08/30/2018 03:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You guys are really the forerunners on the ground level for quantum healing on this planet. How many threads on glp boast about abuse and have absolutely less than zero leads about the solution for the real human beings who have been through and know what it takes to get through, and transcend the kind of abuse that you are healing from / your voices give me hope and make me feel strong and powerfull. Thank you for releasing what you've been through, I am touched and inspired and I personally wish you all the loveliest and heartfelt blessings for you as you grow and heal into a self-reliant and healthy, wise human-being, No fux given. Let's make the world a safe place for children. I only post when I drink, if my comments are out of line, refer to line one. |
| Chief Big Wampum Nincompoop
User ID: 75920061 United States08/30/2018 05:12 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | IM 60 also and had a fxcked up childhood. Neglect and unwarranted beatings. Old man was mental, mom was depressed being locked up in a bad marriage. One thing you have to realize, is that your parents are not perfect and are victims of their upbringing, THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE TO TAKE A BREATH AND REALIZE THAT WE ALL HAVE ISSUES TO DEAL WITH. Give people the benefit of a doubt as it will do more for you than them. tariq sadhu |
| Dads girl
(OP) User ID: 69601022 United States08/30/2018 05:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i have a difficult time wrapping my head around forgiving someone who has shown no contrition. Quoting: Vasili i do not understand how it works, forgiving someone who has not apologized. i mean i can say the words, but i do not feel any different and it seems to me that forgiving someone should somehow feel different than before i "forgave" them. Now, if they owned their shit, acknowledged their wrongdoing, and sincerely apologized, then I am sure that i could forgive and sincerely feel the difference in real time. i guess i am saying that i do not understand how to get rid of that grudge feeling, if they are not a sincere part of the process. YES I know where you are coming from! My mother passed away when I was 21 and my dad passed when I was 16. After they died I was still angry at both of them for 1) being STUPID enough for having me in the first place when they were told by the doctor to NOT have anymore children. 2) For never asking for my forgiveness for putting me through all of the years of pure HELL that I had no way of dealing with. They never showed any remorse at all. When I was older I was told to put a chair in front of me and picture the person I wanted to forgive in that chair. I could say anything that came to my mind. Well, out comes the curse words and the anger that I had held in since I was 7 years old. It wasn't a pretty scene. But when I was through, something came over me and instead of being angry with them, I felt a sincere pity for them. I had seen what they went through as children (and it wasn't much worse than mine) so all I could do is weep with them over a life that couldn't be chaged unless I decided to change it from that point forward. Now all these years later I feel so free when I think of them. If I saw them today I know they would run up to me and ask for forgiveness and hug me so tight I couldn't breathe. I know that alll people in Heaven feel this way for the past sins they have committed against those people they loved. If I had a time machine i would go back in time and watch their lives unfold from birth to death so I could actually see what suffering they went through I dont know that I could handle it but I would give it my best shot.. Everything we go through can make us bitter or better. We just have to choose which road will be ours to travel... My love and prayers go out to all of who you are struggling with this. It's a hard road to choose but so 'freeing' in the end.... |
| Dads girl
(OP) User ID: 69601022 United States08/30/2018 05:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | IM 60 also and had a fxcked up childhood. Neglect and unwarranted beatings. Old man was mental, mom was depressed being locked up in a bad marriage. One thing you have to realize, is that your parents are not perfect and are victims of their upbringing, THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE TO TAKE A BREATH AND REALIZE THAT WE ALL HAVE ISSUES TO DEAL WITH. Give people the benefit of a doubt as it will do more for you than them. Quoting: Chief Big Wampum Nincompoop You've learned a great lesson my friend! I pray your load is lightened and you can love without reservations from this point forward. You have freed yourself from the chains that bound you all those years! CONGRATULATIONS!  |
| Starburne
User ID: 76857700  South Africa08/30/2018 05:25 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Life is for giving. Not about for getting. forgetting is ego driven. forgiving comes from a place of Love. To give selflessly without expecting anything in return is universal law....universal Love. Give,and thee shall receive.  "I have no special talent, I am only passionately curious." -Albert Einstein |
| Heliopolis
User ID: 1341562  Japan08/30/2018 05:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have had a difficult time with the concept of "forgiveness" my whole life. There are so many GOOD people who say you have to just forgive and let go and so on, that it will bring you peace, and I WANT TO BELIVE because this view is espoused by so many people I admire plus general human morality in general. But sometimes I think there are psychopath/sociopath types that thrive off of "being forgiven." Its like they shit all over you and then you say "I forgive you" and they are like, "dumb fucking sap, now watch me shit all over you again and laugh at what an idiot you are." Wash, rince, repeat. I have seen this kind of thing happen and is it right to "forgive" such a person? To them, its just a magic word, a get-out-of-jail-free card that lets them then commmence to shit all over you again. "Forgive" has to be more than a "magic word." There also needs to be some JUSTICE in the equation and possibly REMOSE by the person being forgiven. Vincit qui se vincit. |
| Mental Case
User ID: 70281568 United Arab Emirates08/30/2018 06:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I think of it this way. I've had friends say "I'm sorry" for something they did 20 years ago. I say "dude, that was forgiven 20 years ago. I hate to think you've been carrying that around for 20 years". They say "you never told me it was all forgiven". I say "you never appologized before". If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am! |
| Mental Case
User ID: 70281568 United Arab Emirates08/30/2018 06:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Galaxy500
User ID: 74633094 United States08/30/2018 06:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Forgiveness is a requirement for Gods mercy. For we deal not with flesh and blood..... Commie Twitter Refugee GHETTR @GalaxyRose |
| Ohio chic
User ID: 74393140 United States08/30/2018 06:31 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If you don’t have God, what hope does one have? I haven’t always walked with God, but now that I do, I don’t understand how I thought I was going to do it..where was my hope, my joy, my forgiveness? I had none of those inme and looking back at myself I just think this... Thank you God for loving me when I didn’t love you or myself God is sovereign NO! My name is NOT spelled wrong. Grab a dictionary. Peace, Love & Prayers God bless America And YES. I am a nurse! SIDE NOTE- I find articles everywhere and post what I think GLP would like to know. I do not necessarily believe or endorse some articles I find. So do not bash the messenger |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 76842323 United States08/30/2018 06:36 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Mkitrik
User ID: 18390607  Denmark08/30/2018 06:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Fluffy Pancakes
User ID: 76874235 United States08/30/2018 08:00 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Interesting. I'll be contemplating this today. It's timely. Sometimes you think you've forgiven people, but there is still resentment. All anger comes from hurt and I've noticed sometimes it's difficult to figure out where the origin of the hurt may be. Things are bad enough, there is no need to make anything up. ~Fluffy "Never interrupt an enemy in the process of destroying himself." Quercitin and zinc...Get it. Take it. Visit howbad.info...If you took the shot, for sure. |
| Dads girl
(OP) User ID: 69601022 United States08/30/2018 08:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I don't know about you but music is a huge part of my life and depnding on the type of song, it can bring me into a good or bad mood if I find myself singing along with it randomly. Well if that is you also, I found a site where they have a long list of songs about forgiveness and reconciliation. I recognize most of the artists names but had forgotten the song. Go over the list and see if you can find one that fits your and your situation and then get it and put it on your I Tunes list or on whatever you use to listen to music with. If you listen to your song on a daily basis, you will see that your mood will lighten every day along with your heart will slowly start beating again and you'll find yourself genuinely HAPPY! [link to www.songfacts.com] If I'm not supposed to put this list on here someone let me know because I dont want to get in trouble! Lol!  |
