Loneliness makes me happy

I quit my job at the end of April.

Since then I have been living off of savings and fulfilling a few private monthly networking contracts to pay the mortgage and bills. I only need 3 more clients to be covering all my expenses. With my ex-fiance and her dad, I restored the main floor and have converted my basement into an office with a guest bedroom and storage to better meet contracted obligations.

I'm currently reading Lysander Spooner's "Let's Abolish Government" and Spencer Heath's "Citadel, Market and Altar : Emerging Society." It's been nice to have time to read and travel. For weeks at a time I've been able to live in the deserts, mountains, and forests with a camper restored over the last two years. I enjoy being a pioneer, which I believe brings me some thrill that only experiences of self-mastery can.

Recently I have been enjoying the company of a new girl. However, over the last few days I have found myself preferring to be alone. It seems there is little reward to spending time with a partner in absence of the synergy built over time between live-in lovers who are committed to common causes. Without the hope of having a child and rearing family with a partner, I have no sexual interest. Therefore, it occurs to me that perhaps if life is suffering, then love is the pain we enjoy.

So here in this loneliness I choose to be happy. Now I return to the sources of knowledge and inspiration I have known in the past: family, books, and Internet forums. Herein what new pain will be discovered to motivate me toward new heights?