Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

Trump 'splained that during the 2014 unaccompanied minor crisis, the Obama administration was incredibly inhumane, but thank heaven he's so much nicer. He knows exactly how bad Obama's family detention (which Trump now wants to imitate) was, because he's seen the court rulings that said it was "inhumane treatment -- I read 'em, I looked at 'em, they're all over the place. Inhumane treatment, they were treating 'em terribly." Honestly, the idea that Trump has ever read a court ruling may be the biggest stretch of the day.

Since the cabinet meeting, that particular line, promoted by Gateway Pundit and the Daily Caller, has really blown up on Twitter; we're sure you'll be very surprised to learn that neither rightwing source quotes any judicial decision, but both take care to point out photos of people in cages from several years ago. Now, thank god, they've been replaced with chain-link partitions, which is quite an upgrade.

Then Trump bragged about how, unlike every other president ever, he was finally fixing immigration by having a wholly improvised, incoherent approach that involves talking very tough, and yelling at Mexico, which is "doing nothing for us except for taking our money and sending us drugs. They are doing nothing," which is probably a violation of the Mexico Must Do What We Say Act that he signed in his sleep one time.

The cabinet meeting then moved on to the important business of Donald Trump telling America what a brilliant man he is, and insisting, "We are having the most successful period of time economically perhaps in our country's history," which we are certain is a 100 percent factual statement. This was followed by the ritual praise of Trump by his cabinet members, and a strange Mick Mulvaney rant about the need to place all regulations in one agency so they can be eliminated at once, or something, who knows.

He then went on with more examples of our insane regulatory regime, which included live chickens, then eggs, then omelettes, all of which need different regulatory agencies, and darned if that isn't just totally outrageous! And also a Republican talking point about the horrors of confusing government regulations that actually goes back to 1999, which is about what you'd expect from a guy who gets all of his ideas delivered fresh from the Heritage Foundation. Clearly, we've reached an anecdotal crisis point.

Then Mulvaney vowed to make sure America is ready to face the Y2K challenge and went back to his office.

The end.