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Can I be Jesus' wife?

 
Anonymous Coward
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04/11/2018 02:00 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Probably not, he likes to hang out with prostitutes.
 Quoting: Ms Taco


^
Neph
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04/11/2018 02:07 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Is that pussy a 10 outa 10 otherwise you dont make the cut baby
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76450492


Yes but Jesus doesnt care bout sex as much as these heathens out here
 Quoting: Nazzy3


Very correct, although the human body (vessel) necessity is natural. It comes in stages I have noticed. If you want to be with him, intellect is appreciated as well as trust. Have a feeling you already know this. If you have mingled then just ask him. What is the worst that could happen.
Neph
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04/11/2018 02:10 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Probably not, he likes to hang out with prostitutes.
 Quoting: Ms Taco


^
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692


He likes to help people, put it together. Jealousy isn’t an attractive trait. He doesn’t “fool around” with them. He tries to help guide. He wouldn’t lower himself to fornicate with such beings.
S - Not one of Them
User ID: 76444395
Sweden
04/11/2018 02:15 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
i thought all the christians were the "bride of christ"...?
 Quoting: woowoochic


There is the impersonal bride (the church) and his own personal bride (a woman he is in love with).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75460125


His love songs to Her


[link to youtube.com (secure)]


[link to youtube.com (secure)]


.
Ms Taco

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04/11/2018 02:20 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Probably not, he likes to hang out with prostitutes.
 Quoting: Ms Taco


^
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692


He likes to help people, put it together. Jealousy isn’t an attractive trait. He doesn’t “fool around” with them. He tries to help guide. He wouldn’t lower himself to fornicate with such beings.
 Quoting: Neph 76452988


Lol, well a lot of biblical scholars believe otherwise who think Jesus probably did get it on with Mary Magdalene.

And who exactly am I supposed to be jealous of here?
S - Not one of Them
User ID: 76444395
Sweden
04/11/2018 02:27 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
i thought all the christians were the "bride of christ"...?
 Quoting: woowoochic


There is the impersonal bride (the church) and his own personal bride (a woman he is in love with).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75460125


His love songs to Her


[link to youtube.com (secure)]


[link to youtube.com (secure)]


.
 Quoting: S - Not one of Them 76444395


... M. Magdalene's song, missing him,
... after Jesus ascended..


[link to youtube.com (secure)]

.
.
Anonymous Coward
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04/11/2018 02:38 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Become a nun. Then you can be a bride of Christ.
 Quoting: TheExBunkerBill


No!! Repent!! Be baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for the remission of sins and receive the Holy Ghost!!

I'm a man! A born again in the Holy Spirit of the one true living God by the precious blood of the only begotten of the Father, Jesus Christ. And my vessel is being sanctified for the glory of God and His kingdom that is to come.

And I am grafted into spiritual Israel and as a bridesmaid I await the bridegroom for the wedding of the body of Christ.

When Christ who is our life shall appear, we too shall appear with Him in glory.

Hallelujah, to the King of Kings.

Nowhere in the Word of God does it say to become a nun!! Nowhere!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74960854


Canadians say the strangest stuff.
Can I get a Green Lantern ring as well as the Holy Ghost?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76456615


I heard he had a nun porn addicktion for awhile...but didnt make it a habit..

Eh?

Eh?

Funny...Like I keep saying. Wait till you see the punch line. Jim jones aint got shit on me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76447692
United States
04/11/2018 02:39 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
i thought all the christians were the "bride of christ"...?
 Quoting: woowoochic


There is the impersonal bride (the church) and his own personal bride (a woman he is in love with).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75460125


His love songs to Her


[link to youtube.com (secure)]


[link to youtube.com (secure)]


.
 Quoting: S - Not one of Them 76444395


... M. Magdalene's song, missing him,
... after Jesus ascended..


[link to youtube.com (secure)]

.
.
 Quoting: S - Not one of Them 76444395


hello 444 been watching you awhile. Hows nwi treating you? Lol.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75837404
Netherlands
04/11/2018 02:39 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Become a nun. Then you can be a bride of Christ.
 Quoting: TheExBunkerBill


No!! Repent!! Be baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for the remission of sins and receive the Holy Ghost!!

I'm a man! A born again in the Holy Spirit of the one true living God by the precious blood of the only begotten of the Father, Jesus Christ. And my vessel is being sanctified for the glory of God and His kingdom that is to come.

And I am grafted into spiritual Israel and as a bridesmaid I await the bridegroom for the wedding of the body of Christ.

When Christ who is our life shall appear, we too shall appear with Him in glory.

Hallelujah, to the King of Kings.

Nowhere in the Word of God does it say to become a nun!! Nowhere!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74960854


Canadians say the strangest stuff.
Can I get a Green Lantern ring as well as the Holy Ghost?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76456615


I heard he had a nun porn addicktion for awhile...but didnt make it a habit..

Eh?

Eh?

Funny...Like I keep saying. Wait till you see the punch line. Jim jones aint got shit on me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692



You're not funny and you will regret your disrespectful words.
Michael
User ID: 76447692
United States
04/11/2018 02:44 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...


No!! Repent!! Be baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for the remission of sins and receive the Holy Ghost!!

I'm a man! A born again in the Holy Spirit of the one true living God by the precious blood of the only begotten of the Father, Jesus Christ. And my vessel is being sanctified for the glory of God and His kingdom that is to come.

And I am grafted into spiritual Israel and as a bridesmaid I await the bridegroom for the wedding of the body of Christ.

When Christ who is our life shall appear, we too shall appear with Him in glory.

Hallelujah, to the King of Kings.

Nowhere in the Word of God does it say to become a nun!! Nowhere!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74960854


Canadians say the strangest stuff.
Can I get a Green Lantern ring as well as the Holy Ghost?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76456615


I heard he had a nun porn addicktion for awhile...but didnt make it a habit..

Eh?

Eh?

Funny...Like I keep saying. Wait till you see the punch line. Jim jones aint got shit on me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692



You're not funny and you will regret your disrespectful words.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Sure I am. You just dont know the joke. Jesus doesnt need you to defend him. Hes got someone for that. And thhat person is not you.

Yes really.
Neph
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04/11/2018 02:44 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Probably not, he likes to hang out with prostitutes.
 Quoting: Ms Taco


^
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692


He likes to help people, put it together. Jealousy isn’t an attractive trait. He doesn’t “fool around” with them. He tries to help guide. He wouldn’t lower himself to fornicate with such beings.
 Quoting: Neph 76452988


Lol, well a lot of biblical scholars believe otherwise who think Jesus probably did get it on with Mary Magdalene.

And who exactly am I supposed to be jealous of here?
 Quoting: Ms Taco


Oh it was just a statement to see if you would claim the blame, it was in reference to nobody particular. Just figured you were which you stated. Mary Magdalene was an amazing woman. Although nobody here knows because they weren’t there at time of life. So how can one just assume from writings or hearsay? Anyway interpretation is your own accord of what you read and hear. Contemplating is the toughest part of free will decisions sometimes. Go with your gut, not your logical emotional state. Because most are brainwashed to a certain extent for specific reasons.
Anonymous Coward
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04/11/2018 02:45 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Ps. Anything said against the son of man will be forgiven.

Even though it shouldnt be.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75837404
Netherlands
04/11/2018 02:46 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...


Canadians say the strangest stuff.
Can I get a Green Lantern ring as well as the Holy Ghost?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76456615


I heard he had a nun porn addicktion for awhile...but didnt make it a habit..

Eh?

Eh?

Funny...Like I keep saying. Wait till you see the punch line. Jim jones aint got shit on me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692



You're not funny and you will regret your disrespectful words.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Sure I am. You just dont know the joke. Jesus doesnt need you to defend him. Hes got someone for that. And thhat person is not you.

Yes really.
 Quoting: Michael 76447692



You will fall to your knees and you will confess with your disrespectful mouth that Jesus is Lord.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76160637
United States
04/11/2018 02:47 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Made for his pleasure so umm yeah.
Daniel 10:21
User ID: 76447692
United States
04/11/2018 02:51 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...


I heard he had a nun porn addicktion for awhile...but didnt make it a habit..

Eh?

Eh?

Funny...Like I keep saying. Wait till you see the punch line. Jim jones aint got shit on me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692



You're not funny and you will regret your disrespectful words.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Sure I am. You just dont know the joke. Jesus doesnt need you to defend him. Hes got someone for that. And thhat person is not you.

Yes really.
 Quoting: Michael 76447692



You will fall to your knees and you will confess with your disrespectful mouth that Jesus is Lord.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


So will you. I have been in another to raise the dead when he CALLS JESUS CHRIST and then, I gave said breath of life, written in your instruction manual. When you can say the same honestly, as I am doing to you now. Then I will accept your rebuke. But as it is.

Fuck off. Before you make me angry. I dont need to know you to touch you. You profess christ. Then you should also know not to mess with his servants/warriors. He is much less tight ass than you think.
Three
User ID: 76452988
United States
04/11/2018 02:52 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...


I heard he had a nun porn addicktion for awhile...but didnt make it a habit..

Eh?

Eh?

Funny...Like I keep saying. Wait till you see the punch line. Jim jones aint got shit on me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692



You're not funny and you will regret your disrespectful words.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Sure I am. You just dont know the joke. Jesus doesnt need you to defend him. Hes got someone for that. And thhat person is not you.

Yes really.
 Quoting: Michael 76447692



You will fall to your knees and you will confess with your disrespectful mouth that Jesus is Lord.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Well said, they already know this. It’s fun for them to poke and prod. When it comes down to it. They are all in fear. Yet, they have not realized what fear truly is .. yet.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75837404
Netherlands
04/11/2018 02:53 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...



You're not funny and you will regret your disrespectful words.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Sure I am. You just dont know the joke. Jesus doesnt need you to defend him. Hes got someone for that. And thhat person is not you.

Yes really.
 Quoting: Michael 76447692



You will fall to your knees and you will confess with your disrespectful mouth that Jesus is Lord.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


So will you. I have been in another to raise the dead when he CALLS JESUS CHRIST and then, I gave said breath of life, written in your instruction manual. When you can say the same honestly, as I am doing to you now. Then I will accept your rebuke. But as it is.

Fuck off. Before you make me angry. I dont need to know you to touch you. You profess christ. Then you should also know not to mess with his servants/warriors. He is much less tight ass than you think.
 Quoting: Daniel 10:21 76447692



RUMAD-bro


:yep-butthurt:



Get mad you disrespectful reprobate!



epiclol
Jesus
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04/11/2018 02:53 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Im going away from this thread, for your safety, before you have a chance to really piss me off. Im not even gonna look at your response.

Your welcome.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75837404
Netherlands
04/11/2018 02:54 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Im going away from this thread, for your safety, before you have a chance to really piss me off. Im not even gonna look at your response.

Your welcome.
 Quoting: Jesus 76447692


epiclol




:fakeJesus:
Ms Taco

User ID: 75981154
United States
04/11/2018 02:55 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...


^
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692


He likes to help people, put it together. Jealousy isn’t an attractive trait. He doesn’t “fool around” with them. He tries to help guide. He wouldn’t lower himself to fornicate with such beings.
 Quoting: Neph 76452988


Lol, well a lot of biblical scholars believe otherwise who think Jesus probably did get it on with Mary Magdalene.

And who exactly am I supposed to be jealous of here?
 Quoting: Ms Taco


Mary Magdalene was an amazing woman.

 Quoting: Neph 76452988


I agree and never said otherwise.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76447692
United States
04/11/2018 02:59 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...


Sure I am. You just dont know the joke. Jesus doesnt need you to defend him. Hes got someone for that. And thhat person is not you.

Yes really.
 Quoting: Michael 76447692



You will fall to your knees and you will confess with your disrespectful mouth that Jesus is Lord.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


So will you. I have been in another to raise the dead when he CALLS JESUS CHRIST and then, I gave said breath of life, written in your instruction manual. When you can say the same honestly, as I am doing to you now. Then I will accept your rebuke. But as it is.

Fuck off. Before you make me angry. I dont need to know you to touch you. You profess christ. Then you should also know not to mess with his servants/warriors. He is much less tight ass than you think.
 Quoting: Daniel 10:21 76447692



RUMAD-bro


:yep-butthurt:



Get mad you disrespectful reprobate!



epiclol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Lol no Im smiling now...Enjoy your heart attack. Usually takes three days. Ill try not to make it fatal...Depends on what stuff your really made of. Guess well find out..well, you will, be sure to come back in a week telling me how nothing happened lol.

Ps. Being a churchie is NOT the same thing as being a christian...as you and the church are about to find out..lol..be sure to talk shit later, when Im on your tell lie vision..

Tell the nurses high....It starts with a tightness and shortness of breath because your weak ass heart cant pump enough blood.

Mine is so strong, after 4 heart attack, I simply regrew new veins..not quite as big as the origina but enough to do the job. Much like me turning this imaginary key is good enough to get you done. Be sure to pray to Jesus while its happening...as I said, Ill try not to make it fatal..

But youve got syrup on your pancakes..I can tell.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33046855
Canada
04/11/2018 03:05 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?

X
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45540830


Fuck yiu. There is no leaf . Or anyone else for that matter. Everyone ruined everything
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/11/2018 03:05 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Tell the whore that looks like a corpse hello..

No I didnt...

Whores are naughty, dint ya know?

Nothing funny to say?
Weed whacker
User ID: 76447692
United States
04/11/2018 03:07 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Meh, I get one unturn. So fuck it. I guess you dont deserve a heart attack for defending my honor.

Unclick.
whew. That was close.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76457480
Canada
04/11/2018 03:09 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
Meh, I get one unturn. So fuck it. I guess you dont deserve a heart attack for defending my honor.

Unclick.
whew. That was close.
 Quoting: Weed whacker 76447692


Weak.
Observing
User ID: 76452988
United States
04/11/2018 03:16 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
...



You will fall to your knees and you will confess with your disrespectful mouth that Jesus is Lord.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


So will you. I have been in another to raise the dead when he CALLS JESUS CHRIST and then, I gave said breath of life, written in your instruction manual. When you can say the same honestly, as I am doing to you now. Then I will accept your rebuke. But as it is.

Fuck off. Before you make me angry. I dont need to know you to touch you. You profess christ. Then you should also know not to mess with his servants/warriors. He is much less tight ass than you think.
 Quoting: Daniel 10:21 76447692



RUMAD-bro


:yep-butthurt:



Get mad you disrespectful reprobate!



epiclol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75837404


Lol no Im smiling now...Enjoy your heart attack. Usually takes three days. Ill try not to make it fatal...Depends on what stuff your really made of. Guess well find out..well, you will, be sure to come back in a week telling me how nothing happened lol.

Ps. Being a churchie is NOT the same thing as being a christian...as you and the church are about to find out..lol..be sure to talk shit later, when Im on your tell lie vision..

Tell the nurses high....It starts with a tightness and shortness of breath because your weak ass heart cant pump enough blood.

Mine is so strong, after 4 heart attack, I simply regrew new veins..not quite as big as the origina but enough to do the job. Much like me turning this imaginary key is good enough to get you done. Be sure to pray to Jesus while its happening...as I said, Ill try not to make it fatal..

But youve got syrup on your pancakes..I can tell.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76447692


Your words are very harsh, holiness doesn’t speak this way opposing the defense of heartfelt actions. Your statement wasn’t amusing even if you meant nothing by it. To rise to such an extreme as attempting to manifest someone’s death is unwarranted and your last statement will not be realized because it has no merit. One of higher stature surely would never speak in this way over basics of speech. Which was in fact, was defending the King. We live and we learn. That’s enough.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/11/2018 03:20 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
I wanna be His best friend at least
 Quoting: Nazzy3


Oh sure, why not. Join the crowd.
Three
User ID: 76452988
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04/11/2018 03:25 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
I wanna be His best friend at least
 Quoting: Nazzy3


Oh sure, why not. Join the crowd.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75849221


Just repent of your sins. Give yourself to God, his Son and the Holy Spirit. Accept Jesus into your heart and make him your Lord and savior. You will then be closer to the Trio than most. Sooner the better, no time like the present. Omnipresence is only theirs.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
04/11/2018 03:37 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
I wanna be His best friend at least
 Quoting: Nazzy3


Oh sure, why not. Join the crowd.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75849221


Just repent of your sins. Give yourself to God, his Son and the Holy Spirit. Accept Jesus into your heart and make him your Lord and savior. You will then be closer to the Trio than most. Sooner the better, no time like the present. Omnipresence is only theirs.
 Quoting: Three 76452988


hesright
Truth
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United States
04/11/2018 03:46 AM
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Re: Can I be Jesus' wife?
I wanna be His best friend at least
 Quoting: Nazzy3


Oh sure, why not. Join the crowd.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75849221


Just repent of your sins. Give yourself to God, his Son and the Holy Spirit. Accept Jesus into your heart and make him your Lord and savior. You will then be closer to the Trio than most. Sooner the better, no time like the present. Omnipresence is only theirs.
 Quoting: Three 76452988


hesright
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76457480


Thank you friend, for everything you do and what you represent. Know that the word is not what it seems. It is no longer in the control of others, but divinity has stepped in because it isn’t our world. It is His.





GLP