The Honest Alien. . . a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B.

Go ahead please ask away!



Post 2
View 5


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)

So, you may ask me any question, and I will try to answer it for you; however, many things are obviously above my pay grade! facts are simple but much of the esoteric stuff I give you is the party line from our brochures or simply things I make up.

Go ahead please ask away!

Big foul up that one.



Post 3
View 19


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)

Since no one is asking . . . I will pose the first question.

Question: “What is the meaning of life?”

What a STUPID question! . . . however, I will answer your inquiry in due time or when your sun goes super nova which ever comes first. But first some more background so you understand.

The true age of the Universe is around 13 Trillion years as far as we know, but since no one is still alive from that era who the Hell really knows or even cares for that matter.

The important thing; however, is Sentient life first arrived on Earth two Billion years ago . . . If you remember that is when I arrived . . . not a coincidence.

Before me there were only automated drones and Satellites sent to survey and evaluate the potential for advanced sentient life forms . . . which is somewhat of a contradiction . . . because sentient and advanced don't always equate.

We did service these surveilling machines from our observation post in your solar system from a planet between Mars and Jupiter which is no longer there. Big foul up that one.

Seems clothes are much more interesting and sexually alluring than no clothes at all, who would have thought?


Post 4
View 27


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Bipedal, humanoid primates first appeared 3.5 million years ago. Humans, as we would recognize them today, appeared 300,000 years ago.

Clothes became the rage one Saturday night about 159,331 years ago. I mention this because Clothes became somewhat important because of the two gender reproductive system. Something we TrollShillians don't have any personal experience with!

Seems clothes are much more interesting and sexually alluring than no clothes at all, who would have thought?

As a side note, the three-gender system has been used in your solar system resulting in a total disaster and is the reason there is no atmosphere left on Mars not to mention the destruction of that planet between Mars and Jupiter.


Post 5
View 29


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Sex: By-the-way, my claim to fame is I suggested the two-sex reproductive system. Of which I am NOT a product of myself. Our Mono system is very boring and is the slowest foundation for evolutionary change and progress . . . relying primarily on spontaneous mutations caused by cosmic rays, etc. rather than being sped up by DNA re-combinations coming from at least two motivated and passionate donors. That is not to say there are not occasional DNA swaps but it is most clinical and without emotion, passion or intrigue.

While I suggested the two-gender system. It was not my decision to make. But without my input it was going to be the mono sex system one finds in most of the Andromeda system. Being as I implied above, a rather boring process devoid of intrigue and romance at any level, I am very happy the two-sex system was adopted!

As a side note, the three-gender system has been used in your solar system resulting in a total disaster and is the reason there is no atmosphere left on Mars not to mention the destruction of that planet between Mars and Jupiter. How this happened is such a long story and would take too much time to explain right now. Needless to say, a three-legged stool is not more stable than a one or two legged stool; at least when it comes to reproduction.

And most IMPORTANT and indicative of your most endearing and enduring character . . . you are very, very STUPID and predictable, you make the same fatal errors over and over again! Which is fantastic! We love it!


Post 6
View 37


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)



Second Question: Do you like Benny Gooodman's music?

Very much. Swing music is one of TrollShillians’ proudest thefts, I mean accomplishments! I will explain much later!

Third Question: What is your position on abductions and probes?

Hmmmm. . . We don't need to do genetic sampling. We set the whole genetic process up and let nature take its course. We interact on a different level, those doing probes and genetic manipulation are from your own planet, just from a different and future timeline.

Let me continue. Civilization Human: Over the last 300,000 years human civilization has been restarted multiple times and erased again like erasing the doodles on an etch-a-sketch screen or rebooting a computer. I just love these analogies!

After these restarts only rumors, legends and a few monuments survive. The last one began about 7,000 years ago.

My most important job is to catalog human history from start to finish. The amazing shock to us is you have remained non-extinct or nEX . . . as we TrollShillians like to call it.

Watching the human race evolve, advance, collapse and re-invent yourselves over and over makes a few things apparent:
I. Humans are resilient.
II. Humans are survivalists.
III. Humans are creative, inventive and productive
IV. And most IMPORTANT and indicative of your most endearing and enduring character . . . you are very, very STUPID and predictable, you make the same fatal errors over and over again! Which is fantastic! We love it!

This you might think is opinion, but no, it is not! This is based on a scientific analysis designed in accordance with the TrollShillian Operational Primitive Civilization Appraisal Tool (TOPCAT). That is why Earth is so interesting and valuable for our purposes!! Under TOPCAT your little planet garners a 9.988 on a 10 point scale. 10 being the highest score obtainable and which was only scored once in 20 Billion years. So Earth is top Dog or rather TOPCAT in your galaxy!

They use a space folding technology for which their bodies have to be modified to use. Us low paid flunkies are not given this advantage nor the risks involved.


Post 7
View 48


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Travel: Travel between galaxies as well as within galaxies is slow for us low level civil servants . . . just a bit below light speed! However, for the big boys, them who are in charge, it is much faster.

They use a space folding technology for which their bodies have to be modified to use. Us low paid flunkies are not given this advantage nor the risks involved.

This of course creates a cast system of sorts and just goes to show you a few billion years of advancement has done nothing to eliminate elitism.

I know what I am talking about because I am a scientist and a realists. In my position I have 35 degrees, 30 of them PhDs with Post Doctoral Fellowships. Well on my 3,000,000 million year trip to Earth you have to do something!

It was developed to maximizes the rate of genetic re-combinations thereby increasing the rate of evolution by one third.


Post 8
View 63


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Fourth Question: Are we threatened by any human technology?

Please! Remember we have a couple of Trillion years for a head start.

I digress, let me continue: About Mars and the three-gender reproductive system: fundamentally a three-way DNA recombination. Theoretically, this results in quicker evolution, a lower birth rate but higher offspring survival to reproductive age.

This requires an egg donor, sperm donor and the incubator. A process where all three must be present at the same time. The incubator having the only uterus of the three and also possesses a full set of DNA, which will not activate without the other two DNA sources mixing and matching with the third set.

Interestingly all three must be there, not for fertilization, but to assure zygote maturation. Unlike the mono and two- sex gender systems which evolve naturally the three-gender system is artificially derived through genetic manipulation.

It was developed to maximizes the rate of genetic re-combinations thereby increasing the rate of evolution by one third.

Last Edited by George B on 01/13/2019 06:11 PM

You think the war between two sexes is bad, just think about a third participant in the mix!!

Post 9
View 70


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)



Thought the three-gender system is quick and dirty . . . it was a complete failure on Mars. My counterpart Harry is the culprit on this one. He was early in his tenure as an operative and wanted to quickly bring Mars to the evolutionary equivalent of a much older planet.

What an idiot!! If he had only studied the archives in the Orion system he would have known that disaster is the consequence of pushing physical evolution faster than a species is able to integrate its new-found capabilities. As you Earth people say it was a "Train Wreck!"

We were lucky we only lost the atmosphere on Mars and unfortunately our planet listening post between Mars and Jupiter. The Asteroid belt is now an interesting feature of your solar system but the planet there was really a nice observation platform for the TrollShillian Collective. However, we were able to move it to Ceres, the destroyed Planet’s moon.

And to think this could have been avoided simply by a low level civil servant doing the proper amount of due diligence and research before tinkering with reproduction strategies.

You think the war between two sexes is bad, just think about a third participant in the mix!!



Last Edited by George B on 01/13/2019 06:12 PM

That is him at the end of the Bar.

Post 10
View 83


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


You will have to excuse me. It has been a long day and I agreed to meet Harry and his girlfriend in the Bar for a drink. That is him at the end of the Bar. I will return tomorrow to give you more wisdom and TrollShillian philosophy. So stay creative . . . remember we count on you to give us purpose!



Last Edited by George B on 02/20/2018 06:11 PM

Your first fuckup.

You were asked what the meaning of life is ?

Jeez and your 2 billion years old.

And you forgot to answer the question..lol

Go away.

Re-study your acting script.

You must remember ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.

Well at least you read the post. The answer to the meaning of life as a member of the TrollShillian Collective is to defeat boredom. To go to any length, to steal anyone’s creativity to try anything to escape billions of years of mediocre existence. If you had spent the time you might have figured it out yourself.

Last Edited by George B on 02/20/2018 08:57 PM

With this knowledge we rule anyone or anything we choose.


Post 11
View 157


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


My friend from New Zealand made me give away some information sooner than I planned too but that is alright.

Come a little closer and I will tell you something very, very important. TrollShillians are the dominant species in the known universe because we understand the fundamental truth about all behavior. Which means we know the meaning and purpose of life. We understand it at the cellular level, at the organism level and at the cultural level. With this knowledge we rule anyone or anything we choose.

It is the search for the perfect golf course location that pushes us ever onward to seek new worlds to explore!


Post 13
View 168


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Before I continue with the ultimate TRUTH, Some personal information might be of interest. My sir name is from the inventor of a team sport.

“Triple down snow soccer” a form of Rugby played on packed snow which is a team sport that requires people to beat each other with sharp sticks, then yell obscenities from a safe distance. However, Golf is worshiped by all TrollShillians!

Golf: Golf is at least 500 Billion years old! It is the quintessential game of the TrollShillian Collective and the prime motivation for extra-galactic exploration. It is the search for the perfect golf course location that pushes us ever onward to seek new worlds to explore! We are presently in a bitter debate on whether Georgia National, Pebble Beach or The "Betelgeuse" Two Moon Sunset Marina Course in the Orion System are the best courses!

george b
alterwelt
me tel u
st in bg


troll materials.

Thanks Greatly!

So you think I am a troll? Hmmm. . . no, I am a TrollShillian.


Last Edited by George B on 02/21/2018 09:40 AM

Fixed.

The trophy on my coffee table is my participation trophy for playing in the TrollShillian Galactic Golf tournament at the "Betelgeuse" Two Moon Sunset Marina Course.


Post 19
View 271



The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Just to let you know I am no slouch as a golfer. The trophy on my coffee table is my participation trophy for playing in the TrollShillian Galactic Golf tournament at the "Betelgeuse" Two Moon Sunset Marina Course. I won the best dressed golfer contest as well. Most of the participants played nude, as is the custom, so my honor was somewhat hollow. Never-the-less, a trophy is a trophy and I display it with pride.




Last Edited by George B on 02/21/2018 02:34 PM

another interesting story .....

so will u add and mixed some An...ly dude in the story
it will be interesting twist

Hmmmm. . . I don’t know yet. This was to be a short term project. However, depends on how it is accepted. Thanks for the suggestion!

Choose to try to rule me if you will. To prove your statement to yourself or learn something you may not have realized your lacking.

What does your kind understand of spirituality?

We are credited with the best new sport, snack, government stupidity, adult drink, and are in competition for the best golf course.


Post 23
View 353


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Have I mentioned the TrollShillian Empire is the dominate controlling power in the known universe. Point being, nothing happens without our knowledge. Though I may only be a mid level civil servant, I am the arrogant superintendent of all things Earth. All travel here and observation parties are coordinated through me. Since Earth is a hot spot of a ten galaxy tour it keeps me busy.

Earth is now the Empire’s choice in several critical areas of entertainment. We (meaning Earth) and due to all my hard work, dominate several areas of interest. We are credited with the best new sport, snack, government stupidity, adult drink, and are in competition for the best golf course. This is unprecedented in the history of the Collective. No single planet nor manager (Me) has ever been so blest with all these accolades.

Now you know why I am angry for not getting my raise and an opportunity for rotation. So I am going public. You the inhabitants of Earth will share the truth and knowledge of your manipulation for the first time ever!



Last Edited by George B on 02/22/2018 08:32 AM

This is Fiction. While there are interesting philosophical tangents to explore it is not my direct intention to discuss them. I wish to keep this as superficial and entertaining as possible. There are thousands of Threads throughout GLP to do otherwise.

Last Edited by George B on 02/22/2018 08:33 AM

A constant reminder the Collective never forgives or forgets.


Post 25
View 423


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


I hope you don’t mind if I smoke. Smoking is a nasty habit from Earth that has become the rage in the Collective. You amaze us by your desire to degrade, destroy and otherwise commit slow suicide in the quest for temporary pleasure and escape. How we love you guys!

In case you are curious, the creature to my left is Sam, a close associate of Harry. You met Harry and his girlfriend in the Bar previously. They are both staying with me a few days. Seems Harry and Sam got a chance to escape the water world they were sentenced to because of their less than stellar management of Mars. A constant reminder the Collective never forgives or forgets.

Sam, Mr Mars screw-up operative, is now on a squid dominated water world, no mixed drinks, nothing but sushi, and water polo instead of golf! He and Sam are now an eternal example of don’t piss off the management!



Last Edited by George B on 02/23/2018 07:45 AM

Below is an advertisment from the management. Don’t forget Mona Lisa. The latest post is below. Thread: Volume 1, Mona Lisa on the Moon, Thirty-Two Thousand Years in the Making by George B. (Fiction) (Page 149)




Last Edited by George B on 02/23/2018 07:39 AM

Good day all, hope your Saturday morning is going well.


Post 27
View 483


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


Good day all, hope your Saturday morning is going well. This weekend I am doing a survey of all our projects now being conducted on your beautiful blue marble. The young lady with me (named Sheba) is a survivor of the Mars disaster. She is the female of a mating trio. One being male, one female and one neuter. She is the lone individual from the fiasco caused by Harry 200,000 years ago. Being the only surviving Martian she has a rather bad attitude, something I truly resonate with. Anyway, she is my administrative assistant and is my right hand . . . whatever.

Today we are going to visit Hollywood and talk to several of my operatives who control the movie and entertainment industry. The Collective’s desire of course is to maintain total instability, confusion and anxiety within the inhabitants of the Earth. Hollywood is such a wonderful tool. We give them suggestions to seed mental illness; however, they are very good at it without our interference. After Hollywood we go to Silicon Valley. They have so many of our proven concepts from other manipulated cultures. Our plans have been in high gear for several decades now and we think some very creative developments are about to hatch soon.


Last Edited by George B on 02/24/2018 02:36 PM

The Brothers and I often had drinks together.

Post 29
View 532


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


I am meeting with some Senior Executives. We are going over the next Doom’s Day scripts. I love the deep depression and desperation these things foster. Humans get very creative when confronted with annihilation.

Since wars are getting too efficient and weapons are just getting way too expensive and messy we are trying more of the terror by fiction approach. Video games are good for this too.

We have strung together a series of Near Extinction Level Event (NELE) melodramas, not unlike a scaled up version of the Brothers Grimm Fairytales of old. The Brothers and I often had drinks together. Yeah, many of their best stories were from the TrollShillian public library; of course we stole them from someone else. However we are generous and very willing to share.

Well, have a nice Sunday. We will talk later.

I won’t bore with the detail but my subordinates are going to be busy the next few days.


Post 29
View 577


The Honest Alien, a short story or possibly a book, Fiction or is it? . . . by George B. (All rights reserved published work (c) 2016 George B.)


While we are returning to the observation platform from our business meetings I want to point out some interesting facts. Boy! Am I looking forward to a stiff drink in the bar.

Do you see those red dots on the Earth’s surface. Those are important locations, the dots are warning signals that humans are behaving contrary to established TrollShillian expectations. I won’t bore you with the detail but my subordinates are going to be busy the next few days.