My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 7933008 United States 01/01/2018 10:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead I feel the same way - I remember being scared when I was on the run in Oregon, from Tampa - trying to "go to college" (I was living in a half way house attending the local community college, Lane) --- and GLP was there to keep me... well, just it was here. I told everyone I was actually going to the University of Oregon - yet I Just rode the bus for free all day with a ID card that was not mine, lived with a hippie that grew weed - and turned 21 in downtown Eugene, Oregon. With a warrant for my extradition in Florida. Then living with a woman in St. Pete, FL - then moving to AMI - then getting married, kids - etc, and GLP has been right here. From my breakdowns to best ofs. Gotta love it. - Jack |
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MarPep
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nutmeg
User ID: 74789295 United States 01/01/2018 10:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Which astro cartography line was it that you moved to if you don't mind me asking? Quoting: Dunecat Which planet? AC, DC, MC, or IC line? I'm curious about this too. I ordered the map for myself several years ago with all the lines. Could not understand it. Too complicated! I suggest the 3 city map. We ordered 9 cities for a family member. East coast (3 cities), west coast (3 cities) and three cities in between. She chose the one city that the astrology report suggested. Moved from the east coast to the west coast. Changed her life! So very happy! Worked out beautifully! Right side of page: [link to www.astrocartography.co.uk] Last Edited by nutmeg on 01/01/2018 10:46 PM |
Vision Thing
User ID: 76008581 United States 01/01/2018 11:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Thanks nutmeg. I've played around with the interactive maps on astro.com [link to www.astro.com] You have to register and make a free account and put your birth data in so you have something to work with. It's interesting, there are some places that intrigue me because of what it says about them. |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 73364948 United States 01/01/2018 11:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead It started with the doom. My attraction to doom, I can see now, was a manifestation of depression. I truly couldn't see how life was anything but exhausting, and I would feel a subtle relief in the fantasy that something external would come and destroy the paradigm that I felt trapped in. It was like, if catastrophe happened, it would relieve the pressure from my shoulders and transfer it to the collective. I felt trapped in my choices and circumstance and didn't see my way out. In a crazy way, doom felt like relief, and I needed to entertain that possibility to cope with the pressure of the life I had chosen to live. Quoting: LucyAnna Experienced the same, roughly 10 years ago. Can relate to other aspects of your story as well... [link to www.eckharttolle.com] :greenkarma: Meh.....some of us enjoy doom for doom sake.....a lifelong hobby in fact.....and I'm a happy guy..... |
Deplorable Zenobia
User ID: 70361817 United States 01/01/2018 11:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Excellent story and yeah, this place totally rocks! Makes me want to break out in my best Toby Keith impression singing "I Love This Bar." And thought struggles against the results, trying to avoid those unpleasant results while keeping on with that way of thinking. That is what I call 'sustained incoherence.' ...David Bohm “How, O Zenobia, hast thou dared to insult Roman emperors?” ...Aurelian, 44th Emperor of the Roman Empire |
Reggie Bannister
User ID: 72788982 United States 01/01/2018 11:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead I signed up for an account here on New Year's Day, 2 years ago, and wanted to share my appreciations and insights on what 2 years has been like. Quoting: LucyAnna When I first discovered this forum, I was the unhappiest that I had ever been in my life. It makes sense that I would have gravitated to this forum, as it is one of the rare places where it is completely socially acceptable to express anger, distrust, frustration, loneliness, fantastical metaphor, and a longing for doom. I felt all of those things, and it was a step up in my life to find a place where I could express those things freely. Real life is not so receptive to the expression of deep negative emotion, so finding a place that was, was like therapy for me. It was a funny thing, because I was in graduate school at the time learning to be a therapist. I was surrounded by real therapists every day, and couldn't help but be in an accelerated state of around the clock self-therapy, yet I found that what I needed at that time was here. It started with the doom. My attraction to doom, I can see now, was a manifestation of depression. I truly couldn't see how life was anything but exhausting, and I would feel a subtle relief in the fantasy that something external would come and destroy the paradigm that I felt trapped in. It was like, if catastrophe happened, it would relieve the pressure from my shoulders and transfer it to the collective. I felt trapped in my choices and circumstance and didn't see my way out. In a crazy way, doom felt like relief, and I needed to entertain that possibility to cope with the pressure of the life I had chosen to live. I didn't stay in that thought space very long, and as I started to feel more in control of my circumstances, my attraction to doom faded away. Obviously a long term attraction to doom would be a terrible way to experience life, but for me, in that short time, it was a stair step up from despair to letting go and accepting life for what it was. Then, I was here to find my voice. Living in the academic world, there was a lot of pressure to conform to and fully embrace the mainstream beliefs in a chosen field of study. I (you won't be surprised to hear) have some beliefs that are outside of the mainstream narrative. In my first semester of graduate school, I was in a class about childhood brain development, and at one point the professor said something like "I don't understand how some parents still choose not to vaccinate their children". I spoke up and said something about the potential toxicity of the heavy metals and how they affect the developing immune system, and you would have thought that I had revealed myself as Hitler. I was not prepared for the full on attack that I got from every person in that classroom. The emotional reaction that was directed at me left a mark on my confidence and a hesitation in my voice. I learned right away that it was not okay to oppose the professional consensus, and at the time it was really hard on my sense of developing professional identity. I developed a public speaking anxiety (partially a hold-over from early childhood bullying) and realized I needed to get my voice back FAST. Anyway, posing here helped me express my voice and get very comfortable with opposition. It doesn't matter what is said here, there will be opposition, and that was an awesome thing to get to experience. I learned how to get solid in my beliefs and express them directly and tactfully. I learned how to recognize the elements of emotion behind every statement, and respond to the full intention of a statement rather than just the words. I learned how to not be affected by the emotional reactions of others and to engage in dialog with a calm and focused affect. All of these things that I got to practice here, eventually transferred to my real life. I credit my now ability to speak and handle myself in the face of direct opposition to the stepping stone of these conversations. Finding my confidence in navigating the buffet of perspectives and communication styles posted by all of you was a true training ground in being able to do the same in the face of real people with real immediate emotions. It was exactly what I needed and it changed my life. Then, there was my GLP boyfriend. Not long after creating my account here, i met a guy and started an online relationship. In true GLP fashion, it was the weirdest, yet most growth catalyzing dating experiences of my life. It was both ridiculous and incredible at the same time. A little backstory on where I was coming from. I had been married in my early 20's and then divorced in my mid 20's. I wanted to be the kind of woman who was married early in life, but I had zero tools to actually choose someone who would be good for me. I re-created the exact dysfunctional dynamic that my parents had and it failed, crashed, and burned. By the time I met this guy, I had developed a vague idea of what I wanted, but didn't know the first thing about what it would be like to get that. I didn't trust my relationship choices, I didn't trust other people to make decisions in my best interest, and I was cautious to the point of hyper vigilance. My heart had been broken as a result of my own poor choice and I was determined not to let that happen again. This guy was heartbroken too, as he had been with a woman for something like 7 years, and she had just left him. I was completely aware that I was the rebound, and so put my guard up even higher. It was a mess from the start, but the kind of mess that blows through like a tornado and re-arranges everything. From the start, we were talking to each other around the clock (long distance). He called me first thing in the morning every day, Anytime that I was not in class, we were talking on FaceTime, and we were texting non-stop otherwise. He was a fascinating and intense person. Again, in true GLP fashion, nothing was held back. We talked about our childhoods, our past relationships, our dreams for the future, our crazy world views, and the life we wanted to have together. Even though this part was awesome, the intensity mounted on the other side of the coin too. It was too hard to know someone at that level, but not actually have them in your physical life. We both started to test each other to the point of ridiculousness. We would read the others deep insecurities and push buttons almost to the others breaking point. Eventually we were just poking at each other and it was so irritating it was comical. It was like it was getting so serious so fast, but still felt very artificial because we hadn't actually met in person and established a physical connection. It was all mental and emotional, and got to be so top-heavy, it eventually toppled over. The ending happened in a way that was just as intense and unusual as the whole thing. It was heartbreaking, but in the destruction, it stirred up all of my relationship issues and laid them out in a way that I could see them very clearly. It was a true catalyst to very good things happening for me after that, and I'm not sure any other experience could have given such an immediate result. For that reason alone, I can only be grateful for it. This place has also unexpectedly helped me prop up my niche in my career. Being here was the first time I was exposed to the anger and frustration of men. I had obviously been exposed to the frustrations of women, because I'd spent so much time in Universities and the feminist worldview is such a presence in those places. It showed me the other side of of the coin and opened up the big picture understanding of the modern gender divide and what it means for the society we are navigating. There is a lot of straight up crass emotional volatility from both men and women, and that can be kind of tedious to wade through, but the conversations are happening here, and that's important. A lot of what I do in my professional life now is based in relationships, and having this dual understanding helps me do things that a lot of people in my field can't. A thread here helped me leave a city that I was unhappy living in, and head out into uncharted territory, eventually landing in a place that I love living in and consider to be the true hidden gem of the US. It started with someone suggesting astro cartography, and I took the suggestion and again, it unfolded in a way that changed my life. This place was the true "transitional object" that helped me get from a very tough place in my life to a good place. I don't log in often anymore, mostly because my offline life has gotten more interesting than my online life, and I'm busy doing other things. I still pop in and scroll through sometimes, and am happy to see all of you. In all that it is and all that it does, I appreciate all of you that make up GLP. You are the darkest shadows and the brightest lights, all in one. You are the true collective unconscious, where I always found just what I needed to find. Happy New Year. Thank you for sharing your story with us! |
Only Me
Strawberry Girl User ID: 14233520 United States 01/01/2018 11:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Wow, OP! I wish I could write like you! Thanks for sharing your story! Goodbye, halcyon days... There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened. |
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Wolf 1776
User ID: 75817214 United States 01/02/2018 02:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead I signed up for an account here on New Year's Day, 2 years ago, and wanted to share my appreciations and insights on what 2 years has been like. Quoting: LucyAnna ... In all that it is and all that it does, I appreciate all of you that make up GLP. You are the darkest shadows and the brightest lights, all in one. You are the true collective unconscious, where I always found just what I needed to find. Happy New Year. First, let me reciprocate your cheerful closing ... Next, in response to one or your first threads, I remember sharing some detailed GLP tips with you (in humorous fashion). Two years have passed rather quickly, it seems. Over time, I'd occasionally notice a comment from you, observing that you were compassionate, focused, and articulate. Moreover, your openness in this thread seems to be a definitive testament to the salubrious fabric of GLP from which many of us benefit, but rarely express overtly. Through the years, I've had a number of monikers and personas here; but, this one is me ... for about four years now. Eventually, however, one member deduced those were one in the same due to my rare lapses in alternate diction, punctuation, and interests. Conversely, this is how I determine when a member is using a proxy for anonymity from his/her primary account. I mention this because your outspoken huckleberry posted a comment to you about four months after you joined to which you replied less secretively. I recall smiling happily that this could be a burgeoning classic yin and yang. Months later, I had a major surgery that allowed me to live but resulted in my left hand not being readily conducive to keyboard usage. Hence, I rarely post any more. But, your sincere post motivated me to try anyway. In short, your aforementioned expressions touched me ... just as you surely have touched others here ... and ... in the non-digital world. May you have a joyous new year! BTW, I'd like a signed copy of your first book. Last Edited by Wolf 1776 on 01/02/2018 03:12 AM :wolf_footer_msg: |
sacred energy
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Peepaws
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Cleolotus
User ID: 31612190 Australia 01/02/2018 04:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Thanks for sharing that lovely and heartfelt story. I have been here for a number of years now and find it one of the most honest and refreshing places to lurk. I am constantly amazed by the intelligence, kindness and humour of all of our little community. It is a nice place to be. |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 66116599 United Kingdom 01/02/2018 05:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Great thread OP - could relate to so much of what you wrote. I've be coming to GLP since 2012 and at that time I was a dainty delicate little snowflake and after learning to develop a VERY thick skin on this place - my confidence and personality both online and in real life strengthened in so many ways and I really do have GLP to thank for that!! GLP will either make you or break you. Wishing you all the very best for 2018 |
FlashBuzzkill
User ID: 75251329 United States 01/02/2018 05:42 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead "Nobody died at Sandy Hook" she replied. I told her of course I've read it and it only verified what I already believed. At that point she said "we won't talk about politics today either" and mumbled something about Cheeto Hitler and we both laughed. We never did or do talk politics with them yet despite having huge differences of opinion we get along great and have a wonderful time. GLP folks can be like that too. Agree or not you still gotta love them. Have an incredible 2018. MAGA Cheers, Flash Gen. John B Gordon and Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest were the finest citizen-soldiers birthed in America. |
4by2
User ID: 76054319 United Kingdom 01/02/2018 05:59 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Totally agree OP, GLP gets under the skin and helps change the way you view your own world and the universe in general. Thanks for sharing your story...and for using paragraphs as they are supposed to be used. |
Coy
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hollyavila
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Limpan
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countryleftypenn
User ID: 74870968 United States 01/02/2018 09:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead Let's see what the 1611 King James Bible says about the mind: Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Romans 14:5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. Romans 15:6 That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Let's see what the 1611 King James Bible says about the heart: Psalms 13:5 But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. Psalms 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. Psalms 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. Jesus Christ is the only way to Salvation. 1 Corinthians 1611 AV KJ Bible Chapter 15 1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; 2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. 3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: |
Windsage
User ID: 76048145 United States 01/02/2018 10:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: My GLP story and why this place has a piece of my heart. Warning: lengthy and personal post ahead OP, your alert and intelligent mind cannot bring you happiness. The mind makes a great servant but a disappointing master; it needs to be kept in its proper role as a tool, which is tricky to accomplish when it is so far to the right on the bell curve. High IQ is a type of curse, especially for women as you will come to appreciate over the course of time. It separates one from the mass experience. You cannot fit in with society in the common definition; you will always be the observer on the outside looking in. The only saving grace is love. Love unifies, the mind divides. Use intellect as a surgeon uses a knife, as a healing tool in your environment. Live life from your heart. My $.02. |