Hi BamaGirl
Although I am a healer, I'm not gonna say anything concerning your health issues...from the looks of the first two pgs of your thread you've received plenty on that.
What I will say, that may not have been said yet, concerning getting in touch with him...
Focus your intention, close your eyes and center yourself. After you're calm, centered and strong picture him in your "anja/third eye" and feel his energy in your "anahata/heart chakra". You should at this phase be able to actually feel his energy, you'll know it, this is the connection (feels kinda like goosebumbs but heavier). When you feel it send your own energy, the one he knows, out into the universe, keeping your intention focused on his face and energy while doing it. When you've made the connection, again you'll feel it (the goosebumbs), send him the message you want him to hear. Use all the "true" intention you have and I promise you he WILL get the message.
It isn't supernatural in the way that we all have this skill, among others that would blow your mind. It works, on my honor ma lady.
Good luck with that, and much love my friend,
SinX