Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job?

You weak humans do not understand the powers within the universe. James Randi needs to sit down and talk with Yoda for a few minutes. All will be clear to him then.

It's even worse than that,

the Emperor has no fucking clothes!

It was the Jawas!! Those crafty little buggers got into the Death Star somehow and planted a thermonuclear bomb in one of those giant exhaust ports, then martyred themselves when the Death Star blew up.

I think it had to do with the Stormtroopers' attack on a Jawa crawler on Tatoonie that gotten the entire Jawa community in the galaxy all pissed off!!

Thermite did in the Death Star. I saw some grainy videos on Jabba the Hut's website that proves it!

Boba Fett was the one who actually helped
to blow up the Death Star.

He disappeared for many years after the sudden and unexpected death of his Father in Episode II, he kept himself in a relative state of seclusion. His profession was a Bounty Hunter which he learned from his father, but
he could not engage in this activity to great degree, knowing that the authorities could consider him a fugitive now, after the Trade Federation was finally put to rest. So he learned to be a top-notch smuggler to keep himself financially supported. While blaming the Jedi for the death of his father, he vowed to take out his vengeance against the Jedi in a calculating and efficient way that would cause the most damage. However, unexepected events later transpired with most of the Jedi being killed. But his upset
and anger were not alleviated. When he learned of Palpatines eventual betrayal and behind the scenes manipulation of the Trade Federation, his outrage
increased tenfold. After all, if it wasn't for the interference and manipulation by Palpatine, Jango Fett would never have gotten involved in this mess. Boba's anger was now displaced onto the Emperor and his plans
for his new Death Star. Darth Vader also was fair game in his plans, since Anakin was on the side of the Jedi when his father was killed and was now working with the Emperor whom he also despised. The Emperor was too well
guarded over on Coruscant so he would not be an easy target for his loosely organized smuggling operation. Since Darth Vader frequently took up residence on the Death Star this gave him extra motivation to put his plan into action.
As with the second Death Star, Darth Vader and the Emperor frequently put extreme pressure on the construction crews to meet impossible goals and demands. So some of these crews resorted to collaboration with smugglers who promised
cheaper parts, from the black market and more quantities of the parts they needed, even thought the quality was vastly inferior to those the Empire preferred. So the result was that the infrastructure of the Death Star was vastly compromised and weak. But Boba had also introduced and seeded explosive devices using nano-technology into these defective devices which were virtually undetectable. So he vowed to blow up the Death Star himelf via some kind of
remote control. But if the Death Star was just blown up from within and the destruction was not complete, an investigation could link the defective parts with explosives as the cause. So it had to be coordinated with a rebel attack which him and his associates knew was eventually going to happen, so it would look like the rebels caused the destruction and no link would be made to
him or to smuggling operations. To accomplish this Boba used the same tactic that Obi used on his Father's ship, namely putting a device on the Millenium Falcon. When Hans Solo finally linked up with Obi Wan and Luke Skywalker, Boba
knew the princess was being held in detention on the Death Star. So the device was attached during the infamous "bar scene" of the 1st episode. Also this device would enable Boba to track Hans Solo in order to turn him in for bounty. This device would actually not cause the Death Star to explode on its own, but would sensitize the embedded nano-explosives to such a degree, that even a small, localized
explosive would trigger Boba's intended massive detonation, ie. a rebel attack from fighters with limited weaponry. When the Millenium Falcon was first pulled into the Death Star, the explosives were activated, but no rebel attack was made. Then when the Millenium Falcon "escaped" the explosives were deactivated. When the first attack on the exhaust port was made, Hans was still not in the area.
However when Hans showed up on the scene a bit later, Boba's device "re-activated" the explosives, and Luke was able to complete the job with ease. Darth Vaderescaped the Death Star while consciously thinking he was defending the Death Star, but unconsciously sensing with his superior abilities, that something was wrong and he needed to get out of there.

Boba Fett actually performed the same operation on the 2nd Death Star, this time cooperating with Darth Vader in order to achieve his ends, respecting his Jedi abilities. Boba was also able to efficiently track and capture Hans Solo with this attached device, giving him the advantage over the other bounty hunters. As the last episode Return of the Jedi showed, Boba's loyalties were always with Jabba
the Hutt and his hatred of both the Empire and the Jedi never abated.

Alex Jones does kinda look like Princess Leia when you think about it.

Inside Job Truther Vid!

[link to www.youtube.com]

Last Edited by Vore on 03/17/2013 01:48 PM

BUMP, because WHY NOT?

Interesting thread

Absolutely brilliant satire!

OP is a genius!!!