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Texas Sheriff's Exam...

 
Hard Eight
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04/14/2017 11:33 AM
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Texas Sheriff's Exam...
Texas Sheriff's Exam...


A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman.
He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang.
He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only
dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally
called him into his office for the young man's last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can
really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good,
but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test",
that you must take before you can be accepted.
We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk,
the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens, six ambulance-chasing lawyers, six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.
"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson

If you don't read the newspaper   
you are uninformed, if you do   
read the newspaper you are   
misinformed. -- Mark Twain

Giving money and power to   
government is like giving whiskey   
and keys to teenage boys.   
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
 
Where Eagles Dare
Metal-American

User ID: 73836248
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04/14/2017 11:35 AM

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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
muttley
Isaiah 40:31 - But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

“They’ve got us surrounded again, the poor bastards.” - U.S. Army Paratrooper at Bastogne
Hard Eight  (OP)

User ID: 72681750
United States
04/14/2017 11:36 AM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
THANKS for the pin!
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson

If you don't read the newspaper   
you are uninformed, if you do   
read the newspaper you are   
misinformed. -- Mark Twain

Giving money and power to   
government is like giving whiskey   
and keys to teenage boys.   
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 38580625
United States
04/14/2017 11:38 AM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
lolsign
Evil_Twin

User ID: 74535748
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04/14/2017 11:42 AM

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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
laugh
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 43649049
United States
04/14/2017 11:50 AM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
One mistake OP,
Rustangs aren't fast
They never were!

Hard Eight  (OP)

User ID: 72681750
United States
04/14/2017 12:05 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
Travis County (Austin) needs this man.
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson

If you don't read the newspaper   
you are uninformed, if you do   
read the newspaper you are   
misinformed. -- Mark Twain

Giving money and power to   
government is like giving whiskey   
and keys to teenage boys.   
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73035815
United States
04/14/2017 12:23 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
Travis County (Austin) needs this man.
 Quoting: Hard Eight


yep that beotch is a mental furball maxiumus!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71834099
United States
04/14/2017 12:23 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
Now that's funny right there!
Anonymous Coward
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Poland
04/14/2017 12:30 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
rofl5
Deadpool Loves You

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04/14/2017 01:02 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
One mistake OP,
Rustangs aren't fast
They never were!


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43649049


herewego
The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them.

The Rickest Rick Sanchez comments are meant for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to reflect the feelings and opinions, implied or expressed, of the author.
Anonymous Coward
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Greece
04/14/2017 01:21 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
Travis County (Austin) needs this man.
 Quoting: Hard Eight


We all do. hf
Hard Eight  (OP)

User ID: 6070070
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04/14/2017 01:30 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
One mistake OP,
Rustangs aren't fast
They never were!


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43649049


herewego
 Quoting: Deadpool Loves You


poop
Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."
Thomas Jefferson

If you don't read the newspaper   
you are uninformed, if you do   
read the newspaper you are   
misinformed. -- Mark Twain

Giving money and power to   
government is like giving whiskey   
and keys to teenage boys.   
-- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
 
Use your brian, moran!

User ID: 6407778
United States
04/14/2017 01:42 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
whoaohnochuckle
I'm a proud Texan & American, posting from Central Texas & have no clue why my flag shows friggin Canada(no offense to my Canadian friends).

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."

Diderot

"Immigration without assimilation is invasion!" - Anonymous Coward

Gird your lions, shave your Family & panic sex the 'maters!

"When your so-called religion is purely a political theory of conquest, and deception is one of it's core principles then it strikes me as perfectly sane and reasonable to assume literally everyone who is of such a "religion" to be exactly the same POS who deserves to be treated as the enemy non-stop." Darkwolf007
Anonymous Coward
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04/14/2017 01:47 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
Texas Sheriff's Exam...


A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman.
He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang.
He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only
dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally
called him into his office for the young man's last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can
really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good,
but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test",
that you must take before you can be accepted.
We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk,
the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens, six ambulance-chasing lawyers, six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.
"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"
 Quoting: Hard Eight





chuckle
beeches

User ID: 74276477
United States
04/14/2017 03:07 PM

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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
the rabbit was the most sensible of the bunch!
Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
Anonymous Coward
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Romania
04/14/2017 03:19 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
lol
Troggie2017

User ID: 74677688
New Zealand
04/14/2017 04:54 PM

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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
How could he pass the guy without checking that his knuckles dragged on ground correctly?
Any sarcasm in this post is purely intentional.
CompletelyDeplorable

User ID: 32915560
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04/14/2017 05:30 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
One mistake OP,
Rustangs aren't fast
They never were!


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43649049


You dumb motherfucker, a mustang is a wild horse. It must hurt your pea brain to think.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/14/2017 05:35 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
in texas the true qualifications are:

take things out of context,manipulate videos,create your own mafia based around a stingray/cellphone interceptor unit for your area,join the freemasons,
manipulate probationers/methheads into creating crimes to justify your job.
when you get caught lieing,have a judge dismiss the case so your police record stays untarnished.
bust enough potheads to pay into the police pension fund so it doesnt go broke.

because thats what our current governor supports!
Resister

User ID: 64514669
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04/14/2017 06:10 PM

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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
Smart kid. Everybody knows that an old service revolver is a .38 and no one would shoot a rabbit with anything bigger than a .22.
"God forbid we should ever be 20 years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, & always, well informed... If they remain quiet under such misconceptions it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty... Let them take arms... What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. " - Thomas Jefferson in 1787
Anonymous Coward
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Norway
04/14/2017 06:24 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
:gimme sugar:

cruise
Loewin

User ID: 70388563
United States
05/20/2017 09:29 PM
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Re: Texas Sheriff's Exam...
<<bump>>

Lol, who else also thought "why a rabbit?"

Damn, that's a fine joke :)





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