Your daily Horrorscope

Your rude horoscope


Its kind of rude and to the point. Don't get mad just read it and chill.

Cancer
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems which makes you a sucker. You always keep putting things off this is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a s***. Everybody in prison is a cancer

Sagittarius
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius's are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius.

Scorpio
The worst of the lot !!! You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your lack of ethics. You are perfect son of a ***. Most Scorpios are MURDERED.

Libra
You are artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you're male you are probably #@!&%. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most libra women are hoes. All Libra's die of venereal disease

Virgo
You are there logical type and hate disorder. Your s*** picking attitude is sickening to your co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while ****ing. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.

Leo
You consider yourself a born leader everyone thinks you're an idiot. most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism and your arrogance is disgusting. Leos are thieving and enjoy masturbating more then sex.

Gemini
You are quick and intelligent thinker. people like you because you're bisexual. You're inclined to expect too much for two little. This means you are a cheap #@!&%. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest

Taurus
You are practical and persistent you have a dogged determination and stick-to-it-ivness because you never do anything right the first time. Most people think you're stubborn and bullheaded.

Aries
You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and scornful of advice. You do nothing but piss off everyone you came in to contact with.

Pisces
You have a vivid imagination and often think you're being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting what you mistake as power. You completely lack confidence

Aquarius
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You like a great deal you make. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you're stupid. Everyone thinks you're a joke

Capricorn
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You're basically a chickensh**. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance you should just kick yourself

Last Edited by Done and Dusted on 03/18/2017 09:12 AM

The good the bed and the kinky sex zodiac

:gomods:


SCORPIO: The Freak in Bed
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! AMAZING IN BED..!!! Not the kind of person you wanna #@!&% with...u might end up crying... The most irresistible. Rare 2 find. Funny. Talkative. Erotic. Smart. Loves sports. Gets what he/she wants. Loves to be in a relationship.


VIRGO: The Lover
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget. Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.Great kisser.


LIBRA: The #@!&%
Can be mean sometimes, and will Probably knock your #@!&% out, if crossed the wrong way!! EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever... Romantic. Caring.


ARIES: The Sexiest
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to f*** with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed.


AQUARIUS: The Strongest
Trustworthy. Sexy. professional kissers. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic and funny. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Loves music. Not a Fighter, But will Knock the f*** out of u. The best and biggest freak in bed! Strong. Considered to be a "Spartan." The most intelligent. falls in love too easily. Doesn't show it but is easy to hurt.


GEMINI: Passionate
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the f*** out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING.#@!&%. Freak in Bed. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.


LEO: Wild in Bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at a lot. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Loyal.Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Great when found.


CANCER: Most Amazing Kisser
Very high sex appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.


PISCES: The Piece of #@!&%
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high SEX appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.


CAPRICORN: The Best in Bed
Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible, awesome kisser.gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports.Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart.


TAURUS: The Sex Addict
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ...u no!..... Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to f*** with. Are the most sexiest people on earth!


SAGITTARIUS: The Sexy One
Spontaneous. #@!&%. Freak in Bed. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with you might end up crying.

Um, this is LAST year's. The least you could do is give us an up-to-date unfunny thread...

Lol...those are great :))

Thanks for posting...

...maybe I should just stay in bed for today-

Cappy

Sounds like I should stay in if it were 2016.

Sun in Aquarius Moon in Taurus Venus in Pisces. Just ended it with a Sun in Taurus Moon in Scorpio. He just loves the ladies.

Capricorn

Adictive personality

Symptoms:

- Trouble delegating life and work
- Neglecting other aspects of your life
- May switch from one addiction to another
- Constant need for instant gratification
- Antisocial personality, feels withdrawn from society or feels depressed

As a conspiracy:

Shakespeare didn't write his own plays

Ah yes I see you are a Gemini

..


THIS is what God Said to Each of The Zodiac Signs!


” …And it was morning as God stood before his twelve children and into each of them planted the seed of human life. One by one each child stepped forward to receive his appointed gift.


Aries

AriesTo you Aries I give the seed first that you might have the honor of planting it. That for every seed you plant one million more will multiply in your hand. You will not have time to see the seed grow, for everything you plant creates more that must be planted. You will be the first to penetrate the soil of people’s minds with My Idea. But it is not your job to nourish the Idea, nor to question it. Your life is action, and the only action I ascribe to you is to begin making men aware of My Creation. For your good work I give you the virtue of Self-Esteem.

…. Quietly Aries stepped back to his place.

Taurus

To you Taurus I give the power to build the seed into substance. Your job is a great one requiring patience, for you must finish all that has been started, or the seeds will be wasted to the wind. You are not to question nor change your mind in the middle, nor to depend on others for what I ask you to do. For this I give you the gift of Strength. Use it wisely.

…. And Taurus stepped back into place.


Gemini

To you Gemini I give the questions without the answers, so that you may bring to all an understanding of what people see around them. You will never know why people speak or listen, but in your quest for the answer you will find my gift of Knowledge.

…. And Gemini stepped back into place.


Cancer

To you Cancer I ascribe the task of teaching people about emotion. My Idea is for you to cause them laughter and tears so that all they see and think develops fullness from inside. For this I give you the gift of Family that your fullness may multiply.

…. And Cancer stepped back to his place.


Leo

To you Leo I give the job of displaying my Creation in all its brilliance to the world. But you must be careful of pride and always remember that it is My Creation, not yours. For if you forget this, people will scorn you. There is much joy in the job I give you if you but do it well. For this you are to have the gift of Honor.

…. And Leo stepped back to his place.


Virgo

To you Virgo I ask for an examination of all that humankind has done with my Creation. You are to scrutinize their ways sharply and remind them of their errors, so that through them my Creation may be perfected. For doing this I give you the gift of Purity of Thought.

…. And Virgo stepped back to his place.


Libra

To you Libra I give the mission of service, that humans will be mindful of their duties to others. That they may learn cooperation, as well as the ability to reflect on the other side of their actions. I will put you everywhere there is discord, and for your efforts I will give you the gift of Love.

…. And Libra stepped back in place.


Scorpio

To you Scorpio I give a very difficult task. You will have the ability to know the minds of the other people, but I do not permit you to speak about what you learn. Many times you will be pained by what you see, and in your pain you will turn away from Me and forget that it is not I, but the perversion of My Idea, that is causing your pain. You will see so much of humankind that you will come to know them as animals, and will wrestle so much with the animal instincts in yourself that you will lose your way; but when you finally come back to Me, Scorpio, I have for you the supreme gift of Purpose.

…. And Scorpio stepped back.


Sagittarius

To Sagittarius I ask that you make people laugh, for amidst their misunderstanding of My Idea they become bitter. Through laughter you are to give people hope, and through hope trun their eyes back to Me. You will touch many lives if but for a moment, and you will know the restlessness in every life you touch. To you Sagittarius I give the gift of Infinite Abundance that you may spread wide enough to reach every corner of darkness and bring it Light.

…. And Sagittarius stepped back into place.


Capricorn

To you Capricorn I ask the toil of your brow, that you might teach people to work. Your task is not an easy one, for you will feel all of humankind’s labors on your shoulders; but the yoke of your burdens contains the Responsibility of your Brothers and Sisters, which I put into your hands.

…. And Capricorn stepped back into place.


Aquarius

To you Aquarius give the concept of the future that people might see other possibilities. You will have the pain of loneliness, for I do not allow you to personalize My Love. But for turning people’s eyes to new possibilities I give the gift of Freedom that in your liberty you may continue to serve humankind wherever they need you.

…. And Aquarius stepped back into place.


Pisces

To you Pisces I give the most difficult task of all. I ask you to collect all the world’s sorrows and return them to Me. Your tears are to be ultimately My Tears. The sorrow you will absorb is the effect of people’s misunderstanding of My Idea, but you are to give them compassion that they may try again. For this the most difficult task of all, I give you the greatest gift of all. You will be the only one of my twelve Children to understand Me. This gift of Understanding is for you, Pisces, for when you try to spread it to humankind they will not listen.

…. And Pisces stepped back into place.

Last Edited by Done and Dusted on 03/18/2017 09:54 AM

Interesting-

Aries sun, Pisces moon-

well mine was BULLshit gonna have a beer for bkfst lol

you seem to be more of Pisces

Personality disorder

Avoidant personality disorder

Symptoms:

- hypersensitive to rejection/criticism
- feelings of inadequacy or extreme shyness
- highly self-conscious or highly self-critical
- perception of loneliness when they not
- utilises fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts

As conspiracy: Bush did 9/11

Ah i see so u are a Taurus?

Thankyou...



-I actually wasn't meaning to ask for a personality disorder reading...but I'd be more than happy to argue with you about mine-

No way. A true Scorpio would have waited for God to step back.

Last Edited by -Haun- on 03/18/2017 11:48 AM

Reminded me of
22seconds


Wil get back to you devil

Lol...

Scorpio

Personality disorder

Bipolar Disorder

Symptoms:

- significantly decreased need for sleep and waking up
- increased activity level, flight of ideas, and impulsiveness such as rush spending
- negative thoughts about the future
- difficulty concentrating
- talk of suicide or death

As conspiracy: Tupac is still alive

Scorpio can ignore you so hard you will start to doubt your own existence



Last Edited by Done and Dusted on 03/18/2017 12:09 PM

Ok we do Taurus here:

Personality disorder

Binge eating disorder

Symptoms:

- does not access control over food
- it's been depressed and bored
- eats large amount of food even when not hungry
- suffers depression
- is easily irritated

As conspiracy: The illuminati and the NWO

Taurus mentality: I'm good at giving myself pretty much everything so I don't need you

Oh dear. This is the first time I've posted in any of your threads although I've read and enjoyed them. I posted a very old joke about Scorpios and apparently now I'm a devil if I took your remark correctly. Most distressing.

Astronomy 101

Sun: you
Moon: being drunk and alone
Asr/rising: what you seem to be
Midheaven: what do you want to be
Venus: in love and how you define beauty
Mars: having sex and getting mad
Mercury: thinking and communicating

LOL this joke


I really hate it when people use zodiac sign to justify certain actions like I don't care if your pisces Daniel you are a dick

That's such an Aquarius thing to say..

LOLOL so you make god step aside and you are distressed from my reply ?



It's the cancer effect we have on you

Scorpio: of course I talk to myself. sometimes, I need expert advice

Last Edited by Done and Dusted on 03/18/2017 12:43 PM

Sun in Libra, Moon in Cancer

Hey, do the cancer personality disorder!

Ok I do Mine.,

Cancer

Personality disorder

Borderline disorder

Symptoms:

- emotional instability
- chronic feeling of emptiness
- frantic afford to avoid real or imaginary abandonment
- sudden anger or sadness without the justified cause
- impulsivity

As a conspiracy: MK -Ultra

Cancer: Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I got nothing to say