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I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.

 
me777

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12/16/2016 11:41 PM

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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
Prayer1
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Deplorable Ralph--a house dog

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12/16/2016 11:42 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
Prayers sent for you and your mom. May God shine his light on you and give you many blessings.
"Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night.....Rage, rage against the dying of the light"-----Dylan Thomas

HIS NAME IS SETH RICH

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Anonymous Coward
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12/16/2016 11:43 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
My prayers are with ya buddy!
hf
Jolly SoulWinner /:-)

User ID: 73510439
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12/17/2016 12:00 AM

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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
You've shown wisdom by reaching out. I pray you, your mom, everyone experiences restful sleep. I sense you are completely drained and need rest. In Jesus' name, peace.
...Loving souls, starving trolls...
Anonymous Coward
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12/17/2016 12:30 AM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
Looking after the lady of the house who is 83 years old. Daughter just died of brain cancer a week ago. Had to watch that play out. It was pretty tough since I'm dealing with my own moms cancer.

Mom had her last chemo this week also and she's been violently ill for the past two days.

Found out my little brother is getting into things that he shouldn't be in and I feel like a failure of a big brother because I have been a bad example for him.

I don't have any time for myself but maybe that's a good thing.

Can't find a job.

Oh well bitch bitch bitch moan moan moan, I'll shut up now I just don't have anyone to talk to except online and I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

If and when mom passes I really don't see the point of anything anymore.

I am trying to hold onto my faith but it is next to impossible these days.

I just needed to vent.

Thanks.
 Quoting: Publican


i wont pray for you,sucker

fight your own fight

god doesn't help people in distress,that much i know from experience
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73498907


I wouldn't help you either. Maybe He isn't very fond of you because you're a jerk. You get back what you send out.

OP, you will be rewarded for your kindness. You must be a very special person and a gift to your family and friends.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 69951235
United States
12/17/2016 12:34 AM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
u2efineu2efineu2efine

I like your posts. Be well.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72999720
Australia
12/17/2016 02:22 AM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
Looking after the lady of the house who is 83 years old. Daughter just died of brain cancer a week ago. Had to watch that play out. It was pretty tough since I'm dealing with my own moms cancer.

Mom had her last chemo this week also and she's been violently ill for the past two days.

Found out my little brother is getting into things that he shouldn't be in and I feel like a failure of a big brother because I have been a bad example for him.

I don't have any time for myself but maybe that's a good thing.

Can't find a job.

Oh well bitch bitch bitch moan moan moan, I'll shut up now I just don't have anyone to talk to except online and I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

If and when mom passes I really don't see the point of anything anymore.

I am trying to hold onto my faith but it is next to impossible these days.

I just needed to vent.

Thanks.
 Quoting: Publican


OP ... write it down, turn it into a 'just before Christmas, sometimes things aren't all HoHoHo.

Hold onto your faith in God: He won't let you down.

Trust me on this, I went from Homeless, Single, Broken to Married to my love story someone heaven sent to Screenwriter.

I bless your paths ahead... and Merry Christmas xo
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72999720


Yeah read the Holy Bible

I've been thru alot too and the only thing that helps me is the Holy Bible and a commitment to Y'shua!

 Quoting: Acceptable Bible-Tard


angel3 angel3 angel3
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60520237


Thankyou for the Angels...

I truly understand the OP's sadness and sense of hopelessness; its very real to him no doubt, and with compassion, we must acknowledge and respect the season he is travelling in.

I must impart to you OP, something someone told me when my paths were like yours, their words we so true in hindsight 'Its just a season your in, it will pass, God will carry you to your destiny ahead, He knows your tired, and His arms will give you rest' ... they certainly did.

I lived near the ocean and fished often, inhaled the vast oceans salty smell and had a champagne or two watching beautiful sunsets cover the skies and blanket them into velvet serenity. I rose early a captured the magnificance of sunrises, sometimes when mornings light came soft rain fell; with a grateful heart I lifted my hands in thanks and felt blessed as heavens rain washed over me... baptised all over again in those moments.

With childlike faith.. I knew, that today back then wasn't forever... I often said to God 'I trust you... '.

Hold on OP... your miracle is on the way and if you don't mind me saying, when the pressure is the greatest, the miracle of something new to give birth is just around the corner.
the redeemable furry pete

User ID: 73611988
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12/17/2016 02:31 AM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
prayers for you and the ones you love, some years are just bad, I know I have had one too, but praying, yes, miracles will happen.
"It's a friendly friendly world" (Andy Kaufman)
Calm seas do not a sailor make,
Nor easy horses, a horseman.
And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower and when He could be certain only drowning men could see Him- Leonard Cohen
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72999720
Australia
12/17/2016 05:21 AM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
You've shown wisdom by reaching out. I pray you, your mom, everyone experiences restful sleep. I sense you are completely drained and need rest. In Jesus' name, peace.
 Quoting: Jolly SoulWinner /:-)


Amen to that hf
A Friend

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12/17/2016 08:45 AM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
angel3 angel3 angel3
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60520237


Thankyou for the Angels...

I truly understand the OP's sadness and sense of hopelessness; its very real to him no doubt, and with compassion, we must acknowledge and respect the season he is travelling in.

I must impart to you OP, something someone told me when my paths were like yours, their words we so true in hindsight 'Its just a season your in, it will pass, God will carry you to your destiny ahead, He knows your tired, and His arms will give you rest' ... they certainly did.

I lived near the ocean and fished often, inhaled the vast oceans salty smell and had a champagne or two watching beautiful sunsets cover the skies and blanket them into velvet serenity. I rose early a captured the magnificance of sunrises, sometimes when mornings light came soft rain fell; with a grateful heart I lifted my hands in thanks and felt blessed as heavens rain washed over me... baptised all over again in those moments.

With childlike faith.. I knew, that today back then wasn't forever... I often said to God 'I trust you... '.

Hold on OP... your miracle is on the way and if you don't mind me saying, when the pressure is the greatest, the miracle of something new to give birth is just around the corner.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72999720


love3

I love this post. OP, there is good advice in here.
But Lord, he stinketh!

:fnecsm:

"When the sky crackles in an electric dance of a beautiful requiem of lapis lazuli, maybe you will remember..." ~ Anonymous Coward 77360040
Anonymous Coward
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12/17/2016 08:50 AM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
hf
nutmeg

User ID: 70579162
United States
12/17/2016 01:00 PM

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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
How long have you been looking for a job? Were you fired from your last job or did you quit?

If you were fired, you could get unemployment benefits.

Where are you looking for a job? Are you accepting any job offered, or are you particular?

Where is the GLP thread that was started for donations to help with your family? I know it was here about 6-7 months ago....correct? I can't seem to find it now. Thanks!

Last Edited by nutmeg on 12/17/2016 01:15 PM
Publican  (OP)

User ID: 73622471
United States
12/17/2016 01:13 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
How long have you been looking for a job? Were you fired from your last job or did you quit?

If you were fired, you could get unemployment benefits.

Where are you looking for a job? Are you accepting any job offered, or are you particular?
 Quoting: nutmeg


I was not fired from my last job. I had to leave the job because I became homeless and had no means to get to work, no ride, no bus passes and it would've been at least a 2-3 hour walk from the shelter all the way to where I was working.

This was when I was in Dallas.

Then another GLP'er took me in and gave me a place to stay and also helped me get an attorney to transfer my probation from Dallas back home to Matagorda county.

This transfer was just granted in November so now I'm back home.

I'm not particular by any means.

What people don't understand is how ridiculously small Matagorda is. There are 2 convenience stores, 3 bars, a couple bait shops, an oyster house and a couple restaurants. That's it. There's maybe less than 200 people here that are year-round residents. This place is about as remote as you can get.

It's also incredibly tight-knit. If you're not in the 'in crowd' and people don't know you AND like you (they will know you regardless and most WILL not like you if you're an outsider) then you're not going to get hired. These aren't chain businesses or big corporations. These are all small mom and pop shops and businesses here and the majority of them are family ran/owned and operated.

The other thing is this is THE WORST time of the year to look for work because this whole town shuts down completely during the winter seasons. Most stores are cutting down, not looking to hire people on.

I've been visiting some of the churches and trying to get in with people in the community and doing little odd jobs. I also write freelance articles online but it doesn't pay much.

I'm doing my best. I could always do better, of course, but I'm trying.
visit my blog die spammeroAz9cP
nutmeg

User ID: 70579162
United States
12/17/2016 01:20 PM

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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
How long have you been looking for a job? Were you fired from your last job or did you quit?

If you were fired, you could get unemployment benefits.

Where are you looking for a job? Are you accepting any job offered, or are you particular?
 Quoting: nutmeg


I was not fired from my last job. I had to leave the job because I became homeless and had no means to get to work, no ride, no bus passes and it would've been at least a 2-3 hour walk from the shelter all the way to where I was working.

This was when I was in Dallas.

Then another GLP'er took me in and gave me a place to stay and also helped me get an attorney to transfer my probation from Dallas back home to Matagorda county.

This transfer was just granted in November so now I'm back home.

I'm not particular by any means.

What people don't understand is how ridiculously small Matagorda is. There are 2 convenience stores, 3 bars, a couple bait shops, an oyster house and a couple restaurants. That's it. There's maybe less than 200 people here that are year-round residents. This place is about as remote as you can get.

It's also incredibly tight-knit. If you're not in the 'in crowd' and people don't know you AND like you (they will know you regardless and most WILL not like you if you're an outsider) then you're not going to get hired. These aren't chain businesses or big corporations. These are all small mom and pop shops and businesses here and the majority of them are family ran/owned and operated.

The other thing is this is THE WORST time of the year to look for work because this whole town shuts down completely during the winter seasons. Most stores are cutting down, not looking to hire people on.

I've been visiting some of the churches and trying to get in with people in the community and doing little odd jobs. I also write freelance articles online but it doesn't pay much.

I'm doing my best. I could always do better, of course, but I'm trying.
 Quoting: Publican


That's too bad you can't get unemployment benefits. That's available if you're fired or laid off.

I edited my post above regarding the GLP thread about the donation site for your family. I can't find it.
Publican  (OP)

User ID: 73622471
United States
12/17/2016 01:22 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
How long have you been looking for a job? Were you fired from your last job or did you quit?

If you were fired, you could get unemployment benefits.

Where are you looking for a job? Are you accepting any job offered, or are you particular?
 Quoting: nutmeg


I was not fired from my last job. I had to leave the job because I became homeless and had no means to get to work, no ride, no bus passes and it would've been at least a 2-3 hour walk from the shelter all the way to where I was working.

This was when I was in Dallas.

Then another GLP'er took me in and gave me a place to stay and also helped me get an attorney to transfer my probation from Dallas back home to Matagorda county.

This transfer was just granted in November so now I'm back home.

I'm not particular by any means.

What people don't understand is how ridiculously small Matagorda is. There are 2 convenience stores, 3 bars, a couple bait shops, an oyster house and a couple restaurants. That's it. There's maybe less than 200 people here that are year-round residents. This place is about as remote as you can get.

It's also incredibly tight-knit. If you're not in the 'in crowd' and people don't know you AND like you (they will know you regardless and most WILL not like you if you're an outsider) then you're not going to get hired. These aren't chain businesses or big corporations. These are all small mom and pop shops and businesses here and the majority of them are family ran/owned and operated.

The other thing is this is THE WORST time of the year to look for work because this whole town shuts down completely during the winter seasons. Most stores are cutting down, not looking to hire people on.

I've been visiting some of the churches and trying to get in with people in the community and doing little odd jobs. I also write freelance articles online but it doesn't pay much.

I'm doing my best. I could always do better, of course, but I'm trying.
 Quoting: Publican


That's too bad you can't get unemployment benefits. That's available if you're fired or laid off.

I edited my post above regarding the GLP thread about the donation site for your family. I can't find it.
 Quoting: nutmeg


The campaign expired and we have not renewed it, been trying to make things work on our own. We already received so much help that I don't want to keep seeming like we're just looking for handouts. We're sincerely trying though. Thank you for your concern and well-wishes.
visit my blog die spammeroAz9cP
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72826275
United States
12/17/2016 01:41 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
My Dad died from cancer when I was 22 and life wasn't so easy during the years leading up to it. I've followed some of your posts and it reminds me of the tough times I went through and the pressure I felt to carry things, my younger sister, worked 3 jobs while going to college, my mom kind f broke down and walked out a bunch.

All this to say 20+ years later, I survived it, to later watch my mom die from cancer too.
Life can be hard and cruel, but you are going to survive.

What helped me was removing the value I placed on material existence and checking in to the feel of the quality of my experiences, the richness of who I was in adverse situations.

You are a gem, you are a rock. Know your mom lives beyond what you see and build on that. Know your brother is trying his best, like you have, but the shit you've experienced is taking a toll. Transition to knowing you both transcend good vs bad way of living and beyond is the gold and riches of just being alive and experiencing this life.

People die, but beyond that, you know this, theres another layer, touch that and know peace.

Sending you love.hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72999720
Australia
12/17/2016 02:53 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
My Dad died from cancer when I was 22 and life wasn't so easy during the years leading up to it. I've followed some of your posts and it reminds me of the tough times I went through and the pressure I felt to carry things, my younger sister, worked 3 jobs while going to college, my mom kind f broke down and walked out a bunch.

All this to say 20+ years later, I survived it, to later watch my mom die from cancer too.
Life can be hard and cruel, but you are going to survive.

What helped me was removing the value I placed on material existence and checking in to the feel of the quality of my experiences, the richness of who I was in adverse situations.

You are a gem, you are a rock. Know your mom lives beyond what you see and build on that. Know your brother is trying his best, like you have, but the shit you've experienced is taking a toll. Transition to knowing you both transcend good vs bad way of living and beyond is the gold and riches of just being alive and experiencing this life.

People die, but beyond that, you know this, theres another layer, touch that and know peace.

Sending you love.hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72826275


Beautufully written from the wells of a wise person.

OP... You write freelance? So you are a writer after all... remember in an earlier post I encouraged you to 'write it down'.

Write your way to financial freedom... if I can, so can you.

Remember, its all about 'story'.... there's the key.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72999720
Australia
12/17/2016 07:07 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
angel3 angel3 angel3
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60520237


Thankyou for the Angels...

I truly understand the OP's sadness and sense of hopelessness; its very real to him no doubt, and with compassion, we must acknowledge and respect the season he is travelling in.

I must impart to you OP, something someone told me when my paths were like yours, their words we so true in hindsight 'Its just a season your in, it will pass, God will carry you to your destiny ahead, He knows your tired, and His arms will give you rest' ... they certainly did.

I lived near the ocean and fished often, inhaled the vast oceans salty smell and had a champagne or two watching beautiful sunsets cover the skies and blanket them into velvet serenity. I rose early a captured the magnificance of sunrises, sometimes when mornings light came soft rain fell; with a grateful heart I lifted my hands in thanks and felt blessed as heavens rain washed over me... baptised all over again in those moments.

With childlike faith.. I knew, that today back then wasn't forever... I often said to God 'I trust you... '.

Hold on OP... your miracle is on the way and if you don't mind me saying, when the pressure is the greatest, the miracle of something new to give birth is just around the corner.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72999720


:love3:

I love this post. OP, there is good advice in here.
 Quoting: A Friend


Thank you... and for the heart picture, its beautiful.

To all here whose hearts dare to believe new horizons aren't behind the curtains that hide hope, I pray a gift of courage to you this Christmas season; a mustard seed of faith will open any veil of discouragement.

May heaven shower down a hundred fold all of the dreams you long to hold.
Sunshyne

User ID: 55303780
United States
12/17/2016 07:34 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
Outcomes we never know, but the assurance of comfort and help through good and bad times is a given!

Even when we think we can't take another step, when we get discouraged and/or down, God is with us through it all. Especially so when we don't "feel" like He's there.

I'm continuing my prayers for you, your sweet Mom and brother. God Bless ~

angel3hearts
~ Keep on dancin' ~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2286601
United States
12/17/2016 07:40 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
My Dad died from cancer when I was 22 and life wasn't so easy during the years leading up to it. I've followed some of your posts and it reminds me of the tough times I went through and the pressure I felt to carry things, my younger sister, worked 3 jobs while going to college, my mom kind f broke down and walked out a bunch.

All this to say 20+ years later, I survived it, to later watch my mom die from cancer too.
Life can be hard and cruel, but you are going to survive.

What helped me was removing the value I placed on material existence and checking in to the feel of the quality of my experiences, the richness of who I was in adverse situations.

You are a gem, you are a rock. Know your mom lives beyond what you see and build on that. Know your brother is trying his best, like you have, but the shit you've experienced is taking a toll. Transition to knowing you both transcend good vs bad way of living and beyond is the gold and riches of just being alive and experiencing this life.

People die, but beyond that, you know this, theres another layer, touch that and know peace.

Sending you love.hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72826275


This...is just gorgeous. You made my evening, anonymous coward.
Thanks
Sunshyne

User ID: 55303780
United States
12/17/2016 07:44 PM
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Re: I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.
My Dad died from cancer when I was 22 and life wasn't so easy during the years leading up to it. I've followed some of your posts and it reminds me of the tough times I went through and the pressure I felt to carry things, my younger sister, worked 3 jobs while going to college, my mom kind f broke down and walked out a bunch.

All this to say 20+ years later, I survived it, to later watch my mom die from cancer too.
Life can be hard and cruel, but you are going to survive.

What helped me was removing the value I placed on material existence and checking in to the feel of the quality of my experiences, the richness of who I was in adverse situations.

You are a gem, you are a rock. Know your mom lives beyond what you see and build on that. Know your brother is trying his best, like you have, but the shit you've experienced is taking a toll. Transition to knowing you both transcend good vs bad way of living and beyond is the gold and riches of just being alive and experiencing this life.

People die, but beyond that, you know this, theres another layer, touch that and know peace.

Sending you love.hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72826275


Bless you, AC! You expressed your heart beautifully. You've truly touched me. TY!! hugs
~ Keep on dancin' ~





GLP