I feel like I'm losing it - prayers, good vibes, good thoughts urgently needed.

You have my best intentions that things will get better for you!

Hang in there man, I know exactly how you feel. Good vibes your way!

I would make some popcorn and enjoy the movie.
X

Thank you so muxh.

OP ... write it down, turn it into a 'just before Christmas, sometimes things aren't all HoHoHo.

Hold onto your faith in God: He won't let you down.

Trust me on this, I went from Homeless, Single, Broken to Married to my love story someone heaven sent to Screenwriter.

I bless your paths ahead... and Merry Christmas xo

Yeah read the Holy Bible

I've been thru alot too and the only thing that helps me is the Holy Bible and a commitment to Y'shua!

OP Listen to Brene Brown on Ted X youtube

Prayers said for you, Publican !

I imagine what a blessing you are to your mom
God Bless you

Not too long ago (two months ago?) you wrote that your mom was doing well and was back at work. Now she isn't?

Some aloha huna for you



[link to youtube.com (secure)]

Yeah i did and at the time she was doing better but this last round of chemo has her wiped out. Its pretty bad. She also hasnt been able to work. She quit chemo for a while because of how it made her feel and how it was affecting her work but she started going back and its got her very ill. :/

rick simpson oil

I'm sorry to hear that.

I promise that you will be okay. You need to know that you have value, not just some, but much value, to many. I know that you can't see the light right now, but it's there. Keep going, even when you can't find your way. It'll find you. I know it sounds improbable and dangerous, but you have to believe that I'm telling you the truth. More then just believe it, you need to know that I am.

all good things

from us here, and me,

to you.

Praying things get better for you, OP.

You seem to be carrying the load for a lot of people right now. Be gentle with yourself.

OP people pass no need to want to die over it we learn about death and deal with it thats what our job is here to do "Learn" our souls learn feeling and loss and the process.

there will be tons of jobs very soon.

Why would you say "if and when mom passes"?

Your moms gonna be fine. Her last treatment is done. The last is always the most intense so she'll be sick a few days.

Get over your pitty party. You had landed a good job in Dallas and left it.

You need to grow up! Quit making excuses for yourself Michael.

You know less than you presume to know.

Since you want to put my name out there you clearly know me, could be a handful of ppl but it matters little.

Call it a pity party if you want.

I wish we all could be as strong and as put together as you and never have to turn to others in our weakness and our vulnerable dark nights of the soul.

I left Dallas because my heart is to he at home with my family.

You clearly have a bone to pick for whatever reason but I have no ill feelings towards you.

Ive made my mistakes. At least i own up to them and move forward to try my best to make amends and make things right. Instead of getting online to judge and berate people I barely know just to kick them when theyre already down.

God bless 'boscoe'.

It's okay, OP. I am glad you wrote about it. It's bad and unhealthy in internalize things.

I have been where you are. Although I am a very strong woman and that is also because of my strong faith.

My mom got really ill for a couple of years and everyone told me that a caregiver MUST take care of themselves while doing that. I had no one to help me, and no one who wanted to come and give me a little respite time - just to go and get errands done, food bought, etc.

After she passed, I got pretty sick and had to have some surgery. It was a few months after all of that. Got that taken care of and then my dog died. In there some where, I took it upon myself to try and help my niece who was having problems. Ayee.

My point is I cannot stress enough that you MUST take care of yourself - maybe a caregivers' support group. Don't laugh. It will help to be around people going through the same thing. Do s.o.m.e.t.h.i.n.g. to be around something like that.

It is getting better here for me, although I do miss them, I try not to dwell on those thoughts.

Another thing is, after someone passes, do not entertain those thoughts of things you could have done differently or better and I call those the "if onlys". Don't do it.

It gets better. Hang on to your faith and do not drown in the illness, please.

God is with you, whether you sense it or not.

Love, prayers and hugs from Florida.

No Michael. I know more than you think.

I say these things out of love for you believe it or not.

You keep repeating your past. You need to break free and grow.

I pray for you constantly and hope you will see the path you are on is not right for you. You will never advance if you don't make the first move and then stick with it.

keep the flag flying

you will see better days

That and the Cbd and also lots of dandelion root, there are other things as well, such as tumeric, lemon, b17. Juicing 2-3 apples a day core, seeds and all.

I wish I had some advice for you Publican...I've been in your position.

I just had to stand up straight & tall & power thru another day.

There is no way I would have survived it without the help, strength, and peace of the Holy Spirit.

I mentioned this to you before...Pray (pray hard, on your knees) to the Father and the Son for the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Have you been doing that?

I also mentioned that I believe in you...that has not changed!!!