Everybody knows that the janitor is the cornerstone | |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 06/09/2016 05:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 72313442 United States 06/09/2016 05:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 06/09/2016 05:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
S__
User ID: 72181879 Russia 06/09/2016 05:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: K-lis Coffee. Just coffee. I think the turn in conversation fucked up their meal plans. I'm sure that El's coworkers would be curious to see him eat lunch, but he seems to subsist on black coffee alone. Quite the mysterious feller. No smells other than coffee ? It's a pretty cold and sterile place, they try to keep it smell-free. also it borders the experimental room, so...hygiene and janitors are a must. washing any dishes and taking out any trash and washing hands etc are absolutely mandatory if you eat there (not so much for coffee) and it's a huge hassle so most employees try to keep it simple. m-monitoring ex-experiment brkrm-no specific function, there is a coffee dispenser, a fridge, and a microwave. also a biiig projector used sometimes for info sessions ______ brkrm| __ _____ m| ex. | __|____| ^-- the little cluster is a cell, the team operates primarily in these three rooms throughout each phase, each phase has a designated objective, each objective has a designated location mainly the colors are white and chrome. What it sort of entertaining though is that the breakroom is a double sided mirror (like the monitor room) and it is possible for it to go one-way in either direction, for example only from the direction where the subject can see what's going on there, without the employees knowing whether or not the subject can or can't. I guess you could say El really likes to mess with people's minds. Sorry, but that El must be pretty retarded which contradicts your story's premise. What you described is the boring basic hollywoodian scripting and environmental scenery used in almost all-predictable movies. Interesting reading of the literary reflection of your mind activities, nevertheless. |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 06/09/2016 05:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's a pretty cold and sterile place, they try to keep it smell-free. also it borders the experimental room, so...hygiene and janitors are a must. washing any dishes and taking out any trash and washing hands etc are absolutely mandatory if you eat there (not so much for coffee) and it's a huge hassle so most employees try to keep it simple. m-monitoring ex-experiment brkrm-no specific function, there is a coffee dispenser, a fridge, and a microwave. also a biiig projector used sometimes for info sessions ______ brkrm| __ _____ m| ex. | __|____| ^-- the little cluster is a cell, the team operates primarily in these three rooms throughout each phase, each phase has a designated objective, each objective has a designated location mainly the colors are white and chrome. What it sort of entertaining though is that the breakroom is a double sided mirror (like the monitor room) and it is possible for it to go one-way in either direction, for example only from the direction where the subject can see what's going on there, without the employees knowing whether or not the subject can or can't. I guess you could say El really likes to mess with people's minds. Sorry, but that El must be pretty retarded which contradicts your story's premise. What you described is the boring basic hollywoodian scripting and environmental scenery used in almost all-predictable movies. Interesting reading of the literary reflection of your mind activities, nevertheless. I'm sorry you weren't entertained, but El is not dumb at all. |
S__
User ID: 72181879 Russia 06/09/2016 05:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Is about your entertainment, not mine. So don't be sorry. We have to report the level of dumbness to something or someone - in this case to the level of your so called intelligence (again, not mine). My comment came as a result of my perception of the story and its characters, and not yours. That's the problem with creating characters more powerful or more smart than the author himself/herself - those characters cannot surpass the power of smartness of the author, you know ? |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 06/09/2016 06:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Is about your entertainment, not mine. So don't be sorry. We have to report the level of dumbness to something or someone - in this case to the level of your so called intelligence (again, not mine). My comment came as a result of my perception of the story and its characters, and not yours. That's the problem with creating characters more powerful or more smart than the author himself/herself - those characters cannot surpass the power of smartness of the author, you know ? What you're reading isn't a story, and it wasn't lifted from a novel with characters. It was just a scene that I saw in my head this morning, and drafted onto microsoft word so I wouldn't forget about it. Whether you agree or disagree with the premise or the exposition is really your own opinion, that's just how it goes. The rant about my intelligence is a little strange. It seems less like you are commenting about the concepts and characters and more like you were seeking an opportunity to tell me that I'm a stupid person. Well, that's very nice dear. But being an artist isn't about having a high IQ, and plenty of artists succeed in creating characters with qualities they don't share. This isn't about you calling my characters stupid, it's about you calling me stupid. You don't have to dance around it or come up with bombastic justifications, which are sort of transparent. I'd rather be an idiot who writes utter crap than a pretentious and insincere asshat. Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 06/09/2016 06:10 PM |
S__
User ID: 72181879 Russia 06/09/2016 06:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What you're reading isn't a story, and it wasn't lifted from a novel with characters. It was just a scene that I saw in my head this morning, and drafted onto microsoft word so I wouldn't forget about it. Quoting: K-lis Whether you agree or disagree with the premise or the exposition is really your own opinion, that's just how it goes. The rant about my intelligence is a little strange. It seems less like you are commenting about the concepts and characters and more like you were seeking an opportunity to tell me that I'm a stupid person. Well, that's very nice dear. But being an artist isn't about having a high IQ, and plenty of artists succeed in creating characters with qualities they don't share. This isn't about you calling my characters stupid, it's about you calling me stupid. You don't have to dance around it or come up with bombastic justifications, which are sort of transparent. I'd rather be an idiot who writes utter crap than a pretentious and insincere asshat. I've already figured it out what your reaction would be after i hit the post button. I should've made it clear that i was referring to the "so called intelligence" in a general way and i was not hitting on yours on purpose. I admit i do have a little issue with the intelligence definition and the way the word is used sometimes. Mea culpa. Please don't take it as if i want to belittle your persona because that wasn't the purpose of my comment. I was just pointing to some things regarding the building up of your story. Yes, i insist in calling it a story because that's what it is for anyone reading it. [link to en.wiktionary.org (secure)] (look at the definition 1 and 5 if you will). I don't have to dance around you or your characters anyway. I take it that your persona is a priority for you - and not your story - and that's why you took it in that direction. I could apologize but i don't feel like doing it. Have a nice day. Last Edited by Gero Nimo on 06/09/2016 06:21 PM |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 06/09/2016 06:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What you're reading isn't a story, and it wasn't lifted from a novel with characters. It was just a scene that I saw in my head this morning, and drafted onto microsoft word so I wouldn't forget about it. Quoting: K-lis Whether you agree or disagree with the premise or the exposition is really your own opinion, that's just how it goes. The rant about my intelligence is a little strange. It seems less like you are commenting about the concepts and characters and more like you were seeking an opportunity to tell me that I'm a stupid person. Well, that's very nice dear. But being an artist isn't about having a high IQ, and plenty of artists succeed in creating characters with qualities they don't share. This isn't about you calling my characters stupid, it's about you calling me stupid. You don't have to dance around it or come up with bombastic justifications, which are sort of transparent. I'd rather be an idiot who writes utter crap than a pretentious and insincere asshat. I've already what your reaction would be after i hit the post button. I should've made it clear that i was referring to the "so called intelligence" in a general way and i was not hitting on yours on purpose. I admit i do have a little issue with the intelligence definition and the way he word is used sometimes. Mea culpa. Please don't take it as i want to belittle your persona because that wasn't the purpose of my comment. I was just pointing to some things regarding the building up of your story. Yes, i insist in calling it a story because that's what it is for anyone reading it. [link to en.wiktionary.org (secure)] (look at the definition 1 and 5 if you will). I don't have to dance around you or your characters anyway. I take it that your persona is a priority for you - and not your story - and that's why you took it in that direction. I could apologize but i don't feel like doing it. Have a nice day. I don't have a problem with constructive criticism in the least. What I got from your posts here was that El is dumb, the OP is generic hollywood garbage, and that I am not capable of writing a smart character, because I am not a smart person. I'm not paraphrasing those points, that is literally what you told me. None of that is constructive criticism, it's just you telling a person that their story is dumb and so are they. That is an opinion. Not once did you give me information that was either specific or helpful - for example, "If el was smart he wouldn't tell his employees all these secrets". That's a constructive criticism, that's a specific and valid point you can raise to illustrate what led to your general impression of the whole. You "already knew what my reaction would be" because you likely intuited that people generally bristle at being called idiotic. And the fact that you 'could apologize but choose not to' - well saying sorry is only hard for people with really big egos. I'm sorry that you thought my thread wasn't very good, and in the future perhaps you will choose to read threads authored by posters with an intelligence closer to your caliber, S. Have a nice day. Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 06/09/2016 06:30 PM |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 59129600 United States 06/09/2016 06:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
S__
User ID: 72181879 Russia 06/09/2016 06:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I don't have a problem with constructive criticism in the least. What I got from your posts here was that El is dumb, the OP is generic hollywood garbage, and that I am not capable of writing a smart character, because I am not a smart person. I'm not paraphrasing those points, that is literally what you told me. Quoting: K-lis None of that is constructive criticism, it's just you telling a person that their story is dumb and so are they. That is an opinion. Not once did you give me information that was either specific or helpful - for example, "If el was smart he wouldn't tell his employees all these secrets". That's a constructive criticism, that's a specific and valid point you can raise to illustrate what led to your general impression of the whole. You "already knew what my reaction would be" because you likely intuited that people generally bristle at being called idiotic. And the fact that you 'could apologize but choose not to' - well saying sorry is only hard for people with really big egos. I'm sorry that you thought my thread wasn't very good, and in the future perhaps you will choose to read threads authored by posters with an intelligence closer to your caliber, S. Have a nice day. I said that the character cannot be smarter than the author - which in fact it is so. All characters are bounded by the very mental / imaginative limits of the author(s) creating them. If you would overcome your imaginative limits it would become a constructive criticism, isn't it so ? Anyway. Is your story so do as you please. If i would've been asked to improve it the story would not be just yours - so no, i won't provide any further information on the subject. FYI is not hard for me to say sorry. But to say it while not feeling sorry it would only make me a hypocrite or a liar. I don't worry about my ego, so you shouldn't either :-) This being said, |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 59129600 United States 06/09/2016 06:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 06/09/2016 06:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I don't have a problem with constructive criticism in the least. What I got from your posts here was that El is dumb, the OP is generic hollywood garbage, and that I am not capable of writing a smart character, because I am not a smart person. I'm not paraphrasing those points, that is literally what you told me. Quoting: K-lis None of that is constructive criticism, it's just you telling a person that their story is dumb and so are they. That is an opinion. Not once did you give me information that was either specific or helpful - for example, "If el was smart he wouldn't tell his employees all these secrets". That's a constructive criticism, that's a specific and valid point you can raise to illustrate what led to your general impression of the whole. You "already knew what my reaction would be" because you likely intuited that people generally bristle at being called idiotic. And the fact that you 'could apologize but choose not to' - well saying sorry is only hard for people with really big egos. I'm sorry that you thought my thread wasn't very good, and in the future perhaps you will choose to read threads authored by posters with an intelligence closer to your caliber, S. Have a nice day. I said that the character cannot be smarter than the author - which in fact it is so. All characters are bounded by the very mental / imaginative limits of the author(s) creating them. If you would overcome your imaginative limits it would become a constructive criticism, isn't it so ? Anyway. Is your story so do as you please. If i would've been asked to improve it the story would not be just yours - so no, i won't provide any further information on the subject. FYI is not hard for me to say sorry. But to say it while not feeling sorry it would only make me a hypocrite or a liar. I don't worry about my ego, so you shouldn't either :-) This being said, If it was a structured story, the exposition would not consist of a character spewing detailed information that ought to come later by means relevant to the actions of characters in the plot. What you are reading is information in a narrative form, information I wanted to convey efficiently. I am sorry if you think that what you read in the OP would be how I would structure an actual novel, but you're wrong. Perhaps you misunderstood the intention of the thread completely, as the actual content of what El says is really the focus here, and my reason for posting the thread. I think you seem to believe I was trying to show off a new chapter in my book, and I totally understand where you'd get that impression as I do write all the time, but that's simply not the case here, and GLP is not exactly a balanced demographic for literary feedback in any context. Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 06/09/2016 06:56 PM |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 59129600 United States 06/09/2016 06:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] spoiler alert: they climb a mountain and then go home! lol[liveleak] spoiler alert: they climb a mountain and then go home! lol |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 06/09/2016 06:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | you wrote the second act first! the second act is always the most difficult to write! what's wrong with you? lol Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59129600 I have a problem writing things in chronological order, I think it's something weird about my brain. The future first and the past later. The senseless has always sort of made sense to me. Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 06/09/2016 06:55 PM |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 35594119 United States 06/09/2016 06:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | New kingdom hearts 2.8 trailer released today. Quoting: K-lis "The road collapsed when the clock advanced...if only I made it in time...not even memories...are safe from the darkness... ...each of our copies...were sent to contain the events of the future...but this incident...it's nowhere to be found... ...we need to defy ... the master's teachings...to protect the world... ...when the time comes...and there is war...you musn't fight, but you must fly away from here...to the world outside..." Well who wouldn't want to keyblade Sephiroth |
S__
User ID: 72181879 Russia 06/09/2016 07:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If it was a structured story, the exposition would not consist of a character spewing detailed information that ought to come later by means relevant to the actions of characters and the plot. What you are reading is information in a narrative form, information I wanted to convey efficiently. Quoting: K-lis I am sorry if you think that what you read in the OP would be how I would structure an actual novel, but you're wrong. Perhaps you misunderstood the intention of the thread completely, as the actual content of what El says is really the focus here, and my reason for posting the thread. I think you seem to believe I was trying to show off a new chapter in my book, and I totally understand where you'd get that impression as I do write all the time, but that's simply not the case here, and GLP is not exactly a balanced demographic for literary feedback in any context. K-lis Stop trying to assume what i think or what i believe. If you wouldn't have focused on your persona instead of focusing on El, you would've understood why i said that the El character looks retarded. I don't even know or care about your books. I could detail to you why i think that El acts as a retarded character instead of a smartass (that he would be according to the information he shared with his employees) but as i said, is your story. For the last time i say to you: Please, stop taking my comments as if they are there to hurt you and also stop coiling the mind on what i think or i think not about the story. Focus on the E'L character and the info he/you are sharing and how it fits within the scenery and his actions. That's all. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 35594119 United States 06/09/2016 07:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 23740678 United States 06/09/2016 07:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 23740678 United States 06/09/2016 07:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If it was a structured story, the exposition would not consist of a character spewing detailed information that ought to come later by means relevant to the actions of characters and the plot. What you are reading is information in a narrative form, information I wanted to convey efficiently. Quoting: K-lis I am sorry if you think that what you read in the OP would be how I would structure an actual novel, but you're wrong. Perhaps you misunderstood the intention of the thread completely, as the actual content of what El says is really the focus here, and my reason for posting the thread. I think you seem to believe I was trying to show off a new chapter in my book, and I totally understand where you'd get that impression as I do write all the time, but that's simply not the case here, and GLP is not exactly a balanced demographic for literary feedback in any context. K-lis Stop trying to assume what i think or what i believe. If you wouldn't have focused on your persona instead of focusing on El, you would've understood why i said that the El character looks retarded. I don't even know or care about your books. I could detail to you why i think that El acts as a retarded character instead of a smartass (that he would be according to the information he shared with his employees) but as i said, is your story. For the last time i say to you: Please, stop taking my comments as if they are there to hurt you and also stop coiling the mind on what i think or i think not about the story. Focus on the E'L character and the info he/you are sharing and how it fits within the scenery and his actions. That's all. There isn't any significant action to speak of -what's your problem with what he says? Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 06/09/2016 07:34 PM |
K-lis
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K-lis
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K-lis
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K-lis
(OP) User ID: 23740678 United States 06/10/2016 12:07 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 72313442 United States 06/10/2016 07:57 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Morning;) Is that a figure of speech or a real description? The bad taste ? I ask because I only recently last couple months experience the same, I noticed it must be emotion/feeling related because I think we ourselves create it, it radiates out then taste it, or so far that is what I have put together... |
K-lis
(OP) User ID: 23740678 United States 06/10/2016 12:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Morning;) Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72313442 Is that a figure of speech or a real description? The bad taste ? I ask because I only recently last couple months experience the same, I noticed it must be emotion/feeling related because I think we ourselves create it, it radiates out then taste it, or so far that is what I have put together... Interesting. You could be right but that makes me feel bad like I've done something wrong. Maybe I have. This world is so strange. |
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K-lis
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K-lis
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