Serious divorce question

Thank you, you too!

For realzzzzs. She is all like "Heyyy guys I'm a huge booze head and like my husband works and like earns monies and stuffffzzz, but like he won't even show me the business books....I'm like so sadzzz"

I understand, Faint. My husband started a business and wouldn't keep books either. That was 7 years ago. I about lost my mind. It was really bad. I am so sorry that your marriage is gone. Some men get real selfish and their egos get in the way. Love isn't so important to them anymore. It's not your fault. The alcoholism was because you were not getting the love and affection that you needed. You were trying to cope with loss. I am so sorry. God be with us both. My husband and I are staying together, but there is some bad stuff going on right now. I don't know what the future holds. Blessings in Lord Jesus Christ.

Wow two dumb ass women encouraging each other's shit head ways

Bingo.




The lawyers will affirm them as well,

Neither of these women will except responsibility. They are the victims of course.

Smh......

Bingo.




The lawyers will affirm them as well,

Neither of these women will except responsibility. They are the victims of course.

Smh......

OP sorry I haven't read all pages but I'm a woman (now old) who had this happen just before I turned 30. I was blissfully unaware that he was planning for months by selling our house and moving us into a rented singlewide trailer "temporarily to save up a big down payment for a nicer house", hiding cash, selling one of our cars, etc. so that when he filed for divorce we looked totally broke. I believed his promises and lies. As a wife, you want to believe and trust your husband. Why shouldn't you?

Definitely leave the kids with grandma as you pack. I was crying, vomiting, and physically ill while packing and moving. If you have friends/siblings to help, all the better. My ex was at work when I left; he knew I was trustworthy and didn't fuck with his stuff and left my keys on the kitchen table. If he insists on being there while you pack, please have someone, anyone else there as your support person.

At home when you feel overwhelmed and need to cry but don't want the kids to hear, go run the shower and sob in there. Or go for a drive, park somewhere and scream and cry. Don't hold in your sadness, anger, grief or it could come another way, as an illness or back to drinking. Keep up your AA support.

I came out of this a much stronger and happier woman in the end. My life is not what I wanted nor what I planned, but I am good now. My ex, on the other hand, is dying of stage IV prostate cancer. I have forgiven him and made my peace about it. God bless.

I pray forgiveness and the stop of blaming immediately in this critical thread.

define die early

most drunks live lone enough to fuck everyone ever that they know

No one can be "OK" when they have been ripped in half.

Neither partner, the children, the extended families, the lives together or the dreams we owe each other.

They are murdered by a selfish choice.

Love is always a stronger choice.

It isn't ideal, but it is what it is. It doesn't help that I live in a community property state. I can't even purchase a home without her and she is aware that it is something I have always wanted to do, be a homeowner that is. At least I already have some undeveloped property prior to marriage conjointly owned by others on which I can and do live. She has me over a barrel and she knows it. I however, simply refuse to break the marriage contract without good cause, which according to the bible is due to FORNICATION only. So I am stuck unless she decides to either do what is right for both of us, or otherwise releases me from my obligation to her by her divorcing me as already described. I don't hate her, I simply am disappointed that she has chosen her currently incompatible lifestyle over what is good for both of us and the health of our marriage. My only recourse at this time is a legal separation, and it is something that I have put off in hopes of reconciliation. Unfortunately, it looks like this is the next action I have no choice but to undertake, because we have been living apart for nearly two years and now her constant devotion has been thrust upon her new biological grandchild. It seems she has no inclination of weathering this storm with me. Instead she has taken shelter in others.

Stay in the house, and if you don't want it, force a sale and use the money to buy another one. If you don't, you will start out behind with kids and make it where you struggle harder to get to a better position.

Kids move, and it sucks for the kids. It happens and it's life. They won't be damaged forever. It's just a sad thing that can be made better if you aren't panicking or making it anything other then a "hey we're gonna move" thing.

When I did move after a divorce, my son helped pack and stood at the door telling my ex-husband we didn't need his help and he could go away.

How does it work? Depends. If your ex is okay, he just mopes and looks sad. Mine offered to help, robbed me blind of small, sentimental things, and gloated later. The other ones moped and was a dick to the point I had to threaten to call the cops.

Don't wait for him to file or do anything. You need to be proactive or you will get screwed from everything to what you brought in to fair child support.

Translated.


Lawyer up and screw him as hard as you can now.


For the life of me I don't understand why men continue to deal with today's women.

After reading through this thread, I can see that both parties need a good talking to. If they lived closer by I'd send my wife to talk to the woman and have a talk with the man myself.

The basics is that they are both selfish and unsupportive of their partner in the way their partner needs support. They are also both lacking in the sublime skill of understanding the opposite sex. Instead they are both doing things that piss off or hurt their partner, obviously without even knowing that they are doing it.

2 noobs playing the game of love, and failing hard at it.

All I can say to you OP is, a divorce won't make either of you happier, because it won't fix you and it won't fix him. You say it is he that insists on a divorce (which is immature and not exactly constructive or supportive), but you don't see what you have done and are doing that drives him to thinking a divorce is the only way out of a bad situation.

Since I can only talk to you, not him, I'll tell you this:

He made an effort to start a business and make money for the benefit of your family together, and he was working hard at it. You rewarded his sacrifice by starting to drink heavily, and then you have the audacity to blame him for driving you to the bottle. All because you felt abandoned emotionally because of his busy schedule.

A wiser woman would have taken responsibility for her own emotional well-being by taking it upon herself to fix it, instead of just drowning in self-pity. You could have talked with him about your need for closeness and made constructive suggestions on how you could squeeze in some bonding time, and explaining exactly what he can do to make you feel more appreciated.

Not in the form of whining or making a long list of demands, but in giving him a few small down-to-Earth things he can do that will signal to you emotionally that he cares about you.

Well you didn't have the wisdom to do this, and neither did your husband have the wisdom to figure it out for himself. Instead you chose to bolster your ego with self-pity, and as things turned sour he reacted by withdrawing from you instead of drawing closer (another noob mistake).

At the critical point where the pent-up situation needed a discharge, you misdirected it by bringing in outside help, your relatives and the AA.

Since you seem to be an immature noob, I'll be a bit rude and assume you did so primarily to gain support for your self pity, not to honestly find help to solve the problem between you.

This made him withdraw even further. He shows no interest in seeing your AA group, not even for an hour, because he knows they are only there to support YOU and YOUR POV, and that's the reason you want to drag him there.

Your marriage could still be saved, but it would take a few things. First of all, someone with an ounce of life wisdom needs to go talk to your husband and explain to him how women work and what your stupid behavior actually means, because he's quite frankly oblivious to the psychological dynamics of the female species.

Then when he withdraws the divorce demand and agrees to try and make things work with you again, you'll better stop being a selfish cunt who tries to find things to feel sorry for yourself about. You need to take charge of finding constructive solutions to YOUR emotional issues, because they are YOUR emotional issues, not HIS!

He can certainly aid you and be there for you, but only if you open the door to healing first and come to him asking for his assistance. He may be an idiot, but not even Jesus himself could help you when you run away from him and then blame him for it!

It was actually YOU who destroyed the relationship. Your husband isn't some kind of monster, he would have given you what you needed if you had just asked for it, simply and clearly in an explicit to-the-point fashion a man can understand. But you didn't. Instead you played the game of trying to manipulate him into showing more consideration for your feelings, and you lost your bet.

I'm not saying this to shame you or hurt you, I'm saying it to help you get over your ego and possibly salvage the things that actually mean something in life.

Good luck, to both of you. Being a stubborn dick/cunt pair will serve neither of you.

You can show him this post if you like, it might help.

THIS /\

Why should he move, sounds like he saddled with a alcoholic, and doesn't want her around near his kids.

If you take this shitheads advice, you might as well go 100% of the way and find a muslim and sell the kids into slavery. More PROFIT!!!

there are very few 'clean' divorces. Just make sure you have all the shit you want out before papers are filed. Posession is 99% of the law. Your kids will find out one way or another. Just be honest and not too ugly with comments towards your future ex in front of them and get a good lawyer. He will. Try to use mediation to settle 90% of the money and custody issues..will save you thousands in lawyer fees.

What she said--seriously. Don't do anything yet.

Shame this fantastic post is going to be wasted.

Great work on this.

Fuck off. It's good advice for anyone in her situation, no matter what she finally decides to do.

.

Last Edited by LJS on 03/19/2016 03:57 PM

This sounds like a lot of hard work. Its easier for op to stick with the booze and let both these morans destroy their lives with bankruptcy and poverty.

The new world order loves shattered families, makes it easier for them to conquer the world.

You've made 30 posts in this thread in less than 12 hours.. Are you done spamming the thread yet with your juvenile-sounding banter?. Enough already...

Ya know "knocking sense" into me is what caused one of the divorces, which is nice to see beating a woman isn't reason to bail and I failed at being a good woman and getting the shit knocked out of me and hospitalized because he got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder wasn't a reason to leave.

And not being on welfare, working and supporting a lazy asshole who felt entitled to sit on his ass and drink, while not having a job...who told me I liked it or I left, makes me a slut.

Okay.

Not everyone is on the government teat and as much as you bellow women suck, guess what? Many men do too.

What are you the forum police? Are somebody else's words hurting your fragile feelings? Must suck to be that sensitive

Nobody cares about your woman problems, just stop giving stupid advice

Nobody cares about your woman problems, just stop giving stupid advice

Why did you complain about my post? Did your 'sensitive feelings' get hurt by what I said? Or are you going to claim that you're just speaking your mind in response to what someone else said? That's exactly what I'm doing. Don't be a hypocrite...

OP are you horny now?? :)