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Serious divorce question

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12092415
United States
03/18/2016 09:29 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
This is actually shocking for me, I have seen your posts here and there and you always seem so happy and as if you have a very good life.

I am sorry this is happening for you, you always seem really sweet and your posts are always nice.

I agree with the above, get a mediator and if at all possible be amicable about the kids and let them know that it is not their fault, and that you both still love them. I was not a child of divorce but i watched a few friends go through it, it can do a lot of damage if the parents use them as leverage.

Good luck. You are very pretty and you seem sweet, I am sure there is a happy life out there for you. Praying for you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35200367
Australia
03/18/2016 09:32 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Marriage brings two people together to become one. What did you think you were getting yourself into? Living in a fantasy world it seems! You gone and done fucked up because you were always after comfort over something real...

Makes me cringe that the idea of divorce is an acceptable thing. You were never in love. Two egos in a relationship at best and now you are running away from each other and your mistakes. You have made a mockery out of love.

You are one with your husband just as your husband is one with you. You wanted this

Now fix yourself instead of getting a divorce. Stop waiting for your husband to show love and light the spark yourself!


I hope you can prove me wrong with everything I've said.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71638530
United States
03/18/2016 09:34 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Somebody pinned this bitch she needs a reality check...
bump
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71195619


And you need to go for a timeout in he corner, Timmy...

:ralph1:
Ralph--a house dog

User ID: 71687719
United States
03/18/2016 09:48 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! While you are still on his insurance, get a complete physical and any needed dental work done.

Start taking a good multivitamin from a health food store (not the drug store)

Rent a storage locker and put things you do not want to lose in there. Sell what you can. Yard sale, Craigs list, resale consignment shops.

You must have your own bank account if you do not already. Stash some cash somewhere. Bury it if you have to.

Have serious talks with your lawyer; most of them need to be urged into a more active mode. I know they are busy but they still often need to be jump started into giving you info you need to know. That's what they are there for.
"Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night.....Rage, rage against the dying of the light"-----Dylan Thomas

HIS NAME IS SETH RICH

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Dreamer of Dreams

User ID: 63577683
United States
03/18/2016 10:12 AM

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Re: Serious divorce question
bump hang in there girl
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
rolltiderv2

User ID: 2766128
United States
03/18/2016 10:39 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. It's called abandonment.

What's worse? Living with an Ahole or losing your kids permanently. Move back in, sleep on the couch. He can't control you. Get good info and think with your head.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71675730
United States
03/18/2016 10:43 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Evaluate your heart.

If divorce is your focus, there will be no room for love.

You will of course go with the focus you decide to cultivate. You have chosen to grow evil in your heart instead of nourishing love.

Love is a choice which you have made a conscious decision to deny.

So sad.
Bugabooboo

User ID: 32941034
United States
03/18/2016 10:48 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Seems like the house should go with whoever gets the kids but I have never been married.

I'm sorry that it didn't workout for you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31797214
United States
03/18/2016 10:55 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Evaluate your heart.

If divorce is your focus, there will be no room for love.

You will of course go with the focus you decide to cultivate. You have chosen to grow evil in your heart instead of nourishing love.

Love is a choice which you have made a conscious decision to deny.

So sad.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Sometimes "love" is following up on tough realizations that, although they hurt to realize, are better for all parties involved. And have nothing to do with the expectations of judgy, outside observers.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71022567
United States
03/18/2016 10:56 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Marriage brings two people together to become one. What did you think you were getting yourself into? Living in a fantasy world it seems! You gone and done fucked up because you were always after comfort over something real...

Makes me cringe that the idea of divorce is an acceptable thing. You were never in love. Two egos in a relationship at best and now you are running away from each other and your mistakes. You have made a mockery out of love.

You are one with your husband just as your husband is one with you. You wanted this

Now fix yourself instead of getting a divorce. Stop waiting for your husband to show love and light the spark yourself!


I hope you can prove me wrong with everything I've said.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 35200367

So true.....

STOP! Wake up! This is your given life to make right. Make it right.
Be the one who heals in love.
If necessary, die trying.
Never accept defeat of Love.

You have power and agency to send evil away.
NowIhavetothinkofanam​e

User ID: 25480668
United Kingdom
03/18/2016 11:37 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
B0Xwinep0st
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71650324


GROSS!!
 Quoting: faint


I agree! If you're going to drink like an Alki it should be 12 year old scotch...

Whoops!

But seriously see a lawyer and draw up a shared custody agreement. Then work on the division of assets using the shared custody agreement as a stick to get some money to rent a place big enough for the kids. Then pack!

Kids
Assets
Move

In that order. You need lawyers for legally binding agreements, but the less you pay them the more assets left after the divorce for the kids! So avoiding the lawyers works best in the long term.

An amicable separation is better for the kids psychologically, but you have to make your husband realize if he wants a fight you'll have to give him one and the lawyers will get his house!

Good luck!
NowIhavetothinkofanameohnoithurts
It's all bull!
Nevertheless, the ruler is not truly wise who cannot discern evils before they develop themselves, and this is a faculty given to few. Niccolo Machiavelli
Karma is funny, people who kick dogs usually get bitten.
If someone doesn't add value to your life, then that someone shouldn't be a part of it.
You can always trust people to do whatever is in their own interests.
It is certain wastelands will be brought under cultivation.
NowIhavetothinkofanam​e

User ID: 25480668
United Kingdom
03/18/2016 11:47 AM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Why are YOU moving and not him? He wants the divorce so bad he needs to leave. You MUST talk to your lawyer. Please stand your ground.
 Quoting: CrimsonBleu


.. and do not use the same lawyer.
You need someone who will represent you and the kids. Do not move out. Find a good divorce lawyer in your area, and talk to them before you do anything.
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


Actually; lawyers tend to know each other. Whether from Law School, or constant court cases or mediation!

More often than not lawyers will agitate for screwing your spouse out of everything for the purpose of stealing your house.

It's odd for an lawyer to represent both sides of the case, but if you're hell bent on being amicable it works out to be cheaper!

Fighting to the bitter end only makes the lawyers rich! The more money to fight over the longer and more costly your divorce.

Oddly enough that leads me to offer the best advice of the thread....

Tell your lawyers you're both poor and ask for the pensioner rate! Actively downplay any wealth you have; drive a beater to their office, tell them you rent! Say you have great stuff when describing your 5 year old computer you bought secondhand from the local pawnbroker!

If your lawyers don't see dollar signs when they see you; your divorce will be quick and relatively painless!
NowIhavetothinkofanameohnoithurts
It's all bull!
Nevertheless, the ruler is not truly wise who cannot discern evils before they develop themselves, and this is a faculty given to few. Niccolo Machiavelli
Karma is funny, people who kick dogs usually get bitten.
If someone doesn't add value to your life, then that someone shouldn't be a part of it.
You can always trust people to do whatever is in their own interests.
It is certain wastelands will be brought under cultivation.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8555618
United States
03/18/2016 12:29 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Don't shelter the kids from the realities of life, things like these happen.

Be grown up about it, try to work out what you want with your soon to be ex and get on with life.

If it doesn't work out let the lawyers hash it out, it's what their taking your hard earned money for.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71675730
United States
03/18/2016 12:32 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Evaluate your heart.

If divorce is your focus, there will be no room for love.

You will of course go with the focus you decide to cultivate. You have chosen to grow evil in your heart instead of nourishing love.

Love is a choice which you have made a conscious decision to deny.

So sad.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Sometimes "love" is following up on tough realizations that, although they hurt to realize, are better for all parties involved. And have nothing to do with the expectations of judgy, outside observers.
 Quoting: apprentice


The premise of marriage is that two people commit to being bound to one another by taking a vow to stick with it for better or worse and such a vow does NOT come from those outside. It is intrinsic to the marriage creed of those individuals making that pact. It is a contract to love and work through difficulties regardless of what they are. So what you claim to be outside, truly is NOT. The marriage creed gives no justification or reason for someone to break that contract short of fornication.

Have you ever heard anyone take a vow when getting married to to the other individual that says I will stick with you until things get bad? NO. YOU HAVE NOT.

Marrying someone is just like giving birth to a child. The person you marry is bound to you in the exact same manner with the exact same joy, hopes, disappointments etc, but unlike a child, you and that individual make a pact to live your lives for and unto one another, whereas a child is free to find a mate of their own and leave even though they will always be your child.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31797214
United States
03/18/2016 12:55 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Evaluate your heart.

If divorce is your focus, there will be no room for love.

You will of course go with the focus you decide to cultivate. You have chosen to grow evil in your heart instead of nourishing love.

Love is a choice which you have made a conscious decision to deny.

So sad.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Sometimes "love" is following up on tough realizations that, although they hurt to realize, are better for all parties involved. And have nothing to do with the expectations of judgy, outside observers.
 Quoting: apprentice


The premise of marriage is that two people commit to being bound to one another by taking a vow to stick with it for better or worse and such a vow does NOT come from those outside. It is intrinsic to the marriage creed of those individuals making that pact. It is a contract to love and work through difficulties regardless of what they are. So what you claim to be outside, truly is NOT. The marriage creed gives no justification or reason for someone to break that contract short of fornication.

Have you ever heard anyone take a vow when getting married to to the other individual that says I will stick with you until things get bad? NO. YOU HAVE NOT.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Of course not. But saying that divorce is a loveless option has all the potential of being a emotional trap for the person that you're telling it to. I'm all for having ideals and all and of course I'd rather see couples succeed at relationships rather than fail at them. But failure does happen. People grow apart and there are consequences when such things happen that sometimes cannot be remedied. Have you ever been in such a position to realize that letting someone go, despite your own wants and desires about the situation, is what would make that other person HAPPIER in life?
faint  (OP)

User ID: 63454444
United States
03/18/2016 12:56 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
I'd like to address the "running to mommy" and abandoning the kids comments. It also ties in with the house.

Coming to stay with my mom was a mutual decision reached between me and my husband and supported by both our mothers. We all thought a low-stress environment would be best for not only me, but also for the kids, in the long as I start the beginnings of recovery. As I've been here, our relationship has deteriorated further, he has no interest in going to an AA meeting to observe or AlAnon to aide my recovery. I find this disheartening and telling about his commitment to the hard work I'm doing to stay sober. It's just an hour out of one day. Then we reevaluated our relationship and though we both DO believe marriage is forever, sometimes things just don't go the way you planned and he wants a separation. I think all of this is just too much for him. I told him it made me sad because he won't get to see the "sane-sober" version of me. He was unmoved.

My kids are safe, well taken care of and I have to find solace in that right now. If I don't fix myself, I'll never be the mom they deserve. Does it rip my heart out and make me want to vomit that I can't hug, kiss, hold, read to them, cook them dinner and be with them each day? HELL YES. But it makes me sicker to think of relapsing and letting them down. So it is what it is, temporarily.

I do not want the house because I cannot afford it. He'll either have to buy me out (most likely) or sell it and split the profit (highly unlikely).

He will not accuse me of abandonment, we may not get along, and there are wrongs on both sides, but in the end he's a stand-up guy and will not screw me. I'm sending him a list of smallish items (couch - we have two sets, etc.) that I want and we've made this list before - we were temporarily separated last year. So this is not really new to us.

Thanks to the supporters in this thread, I appreciate it!
Formerly faint
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71406544
United States
03/18/2016 01:03 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Naturally we would come to "happy".

You don't sign up for happy.
It's a reward.

Not an entitlement.
Truthserum

User ID: 611290
United States
03/18/2016 01:03 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
I'm now facing a separation/divorce. Not happy about it, but life will go on.

I'm thinking logistics. I have so much stuff in that house, it will take forever to pack up. Obviously I don't want my kids to see this, so I assume we'd send them to a grandma's house for the weekend.

If you got divorced, how difficult was it to pack up and move out? Thinking about it makes me want to hurl. This is the house we built together, and even though we've grown apart to this point, I cannot fathom leaving. I'll take friends with me. Was your ex there, watching everything? How does this work? Sorry if this seems like a stupid question, but I'm sort of numb and in shock and I don't know how to make heads or tails of it.

Thanks.
 Quoting: faint


Dang it all, your post makes me very sad, you seem so lost.

There is no magic formula as to how to do things, just do the best you can in the moment.

If you need help, please do not hesitate to reach out to your family here.
FACTS Don't Give a DAMN about your FEELINGS!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71686963
United States
03/18/2016 01:15 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Sorry you're going through this. I am too and it sucks, but hopefully this kind of stuff can only make us stronger than ever!
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Why do you need to become stronger, are you planning another divorce in the future?
 Quoting: BRIEF


OMG BRIEF cruise thanks for the levity!

I truly appreciate everyone's advice. Here's a rundown:

Neither of us cheated
We just cannot get along
We really haven't gotten along for 7+ years
I'm closer to the kids by a wide margin
I do not want the house because it's too expensive
The downfall of the relationship started when he opened his own business and started funneling money without my knowledge and was never at home to boot - and still cannot tell me if the business has made any money (since Nov '14) because he "hasn't had time to do the books" (WTF?)
This lead to me drinking and eventual rehab
I had to get away from him when I got out because he was being beyond controlling and I could see a relapse coming
The kids are in school, so I could not take them with right now :-(
I plan to move back as soon as I find employment

I wasn't the best wife in the world, and my addiction caused many fights, but I preferred to drink alone and (surprise) read GLP after the kids were in bed. He could not tolerate it. I'm talking to the kids more now, so that's good and I've lawyered up.

So there it is, for better or worse (and richer or poorer*)

*totally this
 Quoting: faint


Wow typical shit head woman right here folks
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71675730
United States
03/18/2016 01:19 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Evaluate your heart.

If divorce is your focus, there will be no room for love.

You will of course go with the focus you decide to cultivate. You have chosen to grow evil in your heart instead of nourishing love.

Love is a choice which you have made a conscious decision to deny.

So sad.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Sometimes "love" is following up on tough realizations that, although they hurt to realize, are better for all parties involved. And have nothing to do with the expectations of judgy, outside observers.
 Quoting: apprentice


The premise of marriage is that two people commit to being bound to one another by taking a vow to stick with it for better or worse and such a vow does NOT come from those outside. It is intrinsic to the marriage creed of those individuals making that pact. It is a contract to love and work through difficulties regardless of what they are. So what you claim to be outside, truly is NOT. The marriage creed gives no justification or reason for someone to break that contract short of fornication.

Have you ever heard anyone take a vow when getting married to to the other individual that says I will stick with you until things get bad? NO. YOU HAVE NOT.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Of course not. But saying that divorce is a loveless option has all the potential of being a emotional trap for the person that you're telling it to. I'm all for having ideals and all and of course I'd rather see couples succeed at relationships rather than fail at them. But failure does happen. People grow apart and there are consequences when such things happen that sometimes cannot be remedied. Have you ever been in such a position to realize that letting someone go, despite your own wants and desires about the situation, is what would make that other person HAPPIER in life?
 Quoting: apprentice


I am married to a woman right now. We do not live with one another. She is doing what she wants, even though it is not what is right for us. I won't divorce her, because I made a commitment to her. I can't prevent her from divorcing me, but I will stick to loving her and hope that she will come to see her selfishness. A separation is the only course of action open to me at this time, but this does not mean that I am free to be with another in any capacity, despite if this is what I elect to do. I cannot divorce her and then remarry, because then I would be committing adultery. If she divorces me, only then am I free to remarry. She on the other hand is not, according to biblical principle.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71686963
United States
03/18/2016 01:21 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
...


Sometimes "love" is following up on tough realizations that, although they hurt to realize, are better for all parties involved. And have nothing to do with the expectations of judgy, outside observers.
 Quoting: apprentice


The premise of marriage is that two people commit to being bound to one another by taking a vow to stick with it for better or worse and such a vow does NOT come from those outside. It is intrinsic to the marriage creed of those individuals making that pact. It is a contract to love and work through difficulties regardless of what they are. So what you claim to be outside, truly is NOT. The marriage creed gives no justification or reason for someone to break that contract short of fornication.

Have you ever heard anyone take a vow when getting married to to the other individual that says I will stick with you until things get bad? NO. YOU HAVE NOT.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Of course not. But saying that divorce is a loveless option has all the potential of being a emotional trap for the person that you're telling it to. I'm all for having ideals and all and of course I'd rather see couples succeed at relationships rather than fail at them. But failure does happen. People grow apart and there are consequences when such things happen that sometimes cannot be remedied. Have you ever been in such a position to realize that letting someone go, despite your own wants and desires about the situation, is what would make that other person HAPPIER in life?
 Quoting: apprentice


I am married to a woman right now. We do not live with one another. She is doing what she wants, even though it is not what is right for us. I won't divorce her, because I made a commitment to her. I can't prevent her from divorcing me, but I will stick to loving her and hope that she will come to see her selfishness. A separation is the only course of action open to me at this time, but this does not mean that I am free to be with another in any capacity, despite if this is what I elect to do. If she divorces me, only then am I free to remarry. She on the other hand is not, according to biblical principle.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Here let me sum that up for you. " hi I'm a huge raging vagina" dude dump that bitch and move on....trust me she has. And btw OP is hot as F
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70581597
United States
03/18/2016 01:27 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
I'm now facing a separation/divorce. Not happy about it, but life will go on.

I'm thinking logistics. I have so much stuff in that house, it will take forever to pack up. Obviously I don't want my kids to see this, so I assume we'd send them to a grandma's house for the weekend.

If you got divorced, how difficult was it to pack up and move out? Thinking about it makes me want to hurl. This is the house we built together, and even though we've grown apart to this point, I cannot fathom leaving. I'll take friends with me. Was your ex there, watching everything? How does this work? Sorry if this seems like a stupid question, but I'm sort of numb and in shock and I don't know how to make heads or tails of it.

Thanks.
 Quoting: faint


If that's really you, you're way too pretty to be married. Enjoy life. Your youth will be gone before you know it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71675730
United States
03/18/2016 01:32 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
...


The premise of marriage is that two people commit to being bound to one another by taking a vow to stick with it for better or worse and such a vow does NOT come from those outside. It is intrinsic to the marriage creed of those individuals making that pact. It is a contract to love and work through difficulties regardless of what they are. So what you claim to be outside, truly is NOT. The marriage creed gives no justification or reason for someone to break that contract short of fornication.

Have you ever heard anyone take a vow when getting married to to the other individual that says I will stick with you until things get bad? NO. YOU HAVE NOT.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Of course not. But saying that divorce is a loveless option has all the potential of being a emotional trap for the person that you're telling it to. I'm all for having ideals and all and of course I'd rather see couples succeed at relationships rather than fail at them. But failure does happen. People grow apart and there are consequences when such things happen that sometimes cannot be remedied. Have you ever been in such a position to realize that letting someone go, despite your own wants and desires about the situation, is what would make that other person HAPPIER in life?
 Quoting: apprentice


I am married to a woman right now. We do not live with one another. She is doing what she wants, even though it is not what is right for us. I won't divorce her, because I made a commitment to her. I can't prevent her from divorcing me, but I will stick to loving her and hope that she will come to see her selfishness. A separation is the only course of action open to me at this time, but this does not mean that I am free to be with another in any capacity, despite if this is what I elect to do. If she divorces me, only then am I free to remarry. She on the other hand is not, according to biblical principle.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Here let me sum that up for you. " hi I'm a huge raging vagina" dude dump that bitch and move on....trust me she has. And btw OP is hot as F
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


Some of us have values, unless I can prove she is committing fornication, I have no biblical basis to divorce her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71686963
United States
03/18/2016 01:35 PM
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...


Of course not. But saying that divorce is a loveless option has all the potential of being a emotional trap for the person that you're telling it to. I'm all for having ideals and all and of course I'd rather see couples succeed at relationships rather than fail at them. But failure does happen. People grow apart and there are consequences when such things happen that sometimes cannot be remedied. Have you ever been in such a position to realize that letting someone go, despite your own wants and desires about the situation, is what would make that other person HAPPIER in life?
 Quoting: apprentice


I am married to a woman right now. We do not live with one another. She is doing what she wants, even though it is not what is right for us. I won't divorce her, because I made a commitment to her. I can't prevent her from divorcing me, but I will stick to loving her and hope that she will come to see her selfishness. A separation is the only course of action open to me at this time, but this does not mean that I am free to be with another in any capacity, despite if this is what I elect to do. If she divorces me, only then am I free to remarry. She on the other hand is not, according to biblical principle.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Here let me sum that up for you. " hi I'm a huge raging vagina" dude dump that bitch and move on....trust me she has. And btw OP is hot as F
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


Some of us have values, unless I can prove she is committing fornication, I have no basis to divorce her.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Hahaha values, she left you!! That's what we call a clue. But hey, if you wanna let her go bang dudes while you foot the bill with your "values" I'm sure she won't mind. Harden the fuck up
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71675730
United States
03/18/2016 01:38 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
...


I am married to a woman right now. We do not live with one another. She is doing what she wants, even though it is not what is right for us. I won't divorce her, because I made a commitment to her. I can't prevent her from divorcing me, but I will stick to loving her and hope that she will come to see her selfishness. A separation is the only course of action open to me at this time, but this does not mean that I am free to be with another in any capacity, despite if this is what I elect to do. If she divorces me, only then am I free to remarry. She on the other hand is not, according to biblical principle.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Here let me sum that up for you. " hi I'm a huge raging vagina" dude dump that bitch and move on....trust me she has. And btw OP is hot as F
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


Some of us have values, unless I can prove she is committing fornication, I have no basis to divorce her.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Hahaha values, she left you!! That's what we call a clue. But hey, if you wanna let her go bang dudes while you foot the bill with your "values" I'm sure she won't mind. Harden the fuck up
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


like I said, I have no proof of such. Even if she is doing as you say, without proof, I am obligated to stay the course and remain a man of integrity.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71693652
Argentina
03/18/2016 01:41 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
it all comes down to stuff huh?
glad im not married
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31797214
United States
03/18/2016 01:43 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
...


Here let me sum that up for you. " hi I'm a huge raging vagina" dude dump that bitch and move on....trust me she has. And btw OP is hot as F
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


Some of us have values, unless I can prove she is committing fornication, I have no basis to divorce her.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Hahaha values, she left you!! That's what we call a clue. But hey, if you wanna let her go bang dudes while you foot the bill with your "values" I'm sure she won't mind. Harden the fuck up
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


like I said, I have no proof of such. Even if she is doing as you say, without proof, I am obligated to stay the course and remain a man of integrity.
 Quoting: Osmium76


You have ONE shot at this life. ONE.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71406544
United States
03/18/2016 01:44 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
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Here let me sum that up for you. " hi I'm a huge raging vagina" dude dump that bitch and move on....trust me she has. And btw OP is hot as F
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


Some of us have values, unless I can prove she is committing fornication, I have no basis to divorce her.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Hahaha values, she left you!! That's what we call a clue. But hey, if you wanna let her go bang dudes while you foot the bill with your "values" I'm sure she won't mind. Harden the fuck up
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


like I said, I have no proof of such. Even if she is doing as you say, without proof, I am obligated to stay the course and remain a man of integrity.
 Quoting: Osmium76

I am another man in the same boots.
I will die doing the right thing for my family, and not let my wife's immaturity be the end of our family.

Integrity is the kind of thing that's highly devalued today.

Best wishes for you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71686963
United States
03/18/2016 01:44 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
...


Here let me sum that up for you. " hi I'm a huge raging vagina" dude dump that bitch and move on....trust me she has. And btw OP is hot as F
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


Some of us have values, unless I can prove she is committing fornication, I have no basis to divorce her.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Hahaha values, she left you!! That's what we call a clue. But hey, if you wanna let her go bang dudes while you foot the bill with your "values" I'm sure she won't mind. Harden the fuck up
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


like I said, I have no proof of such. Even if she is doing as you say, without proof, I am obligated to stay the course and remain a man of integrity.
 Quoting: Osmium76


Well shit, I will compliment you on standing firm man. But dude if she leaves that is grounds for a divorce. Just want my fellow bros to be happy. You happy with our current setup? Life is short homie
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 69246355
United States
03/18/2016 01:46 PM
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Re: Serious divorce question
Sorry you're going through this. I am too and it sucks, but hopefully this kind of stuff can only make us stronger than ever!
 Quoting: Quetzal785


Why do you need to become stronger, are you planning another divorce in the future?
 Quoting: BRIEF


OMG BRIEF cruise thanks for the levity!

I truly appreciate everyone's advice. Here's a rundown:

Neither of us cheated
We just cannot get along
We really haven't gotten along for 7+ years
I'm closer to the kids by a wide margin
I do not want the house because it's too expensive
The downfall of the relationship started when he opened his own business and started funneling money without my knowledge and was never at home to boot - and still cannot tell me if the business has made any money (since Nov '14) because he "hasn't had time to do the books" (WTF?)
This lead to me drinking and eventual rehab
I had to get away from him when I got out because he was being beyond controlling and I could see a relapse coming
The kids are in school, so I could not take them with right now :-(
I plan to move back as soon as I find employment

I wasn't the best wife in the world, and my addiction caused many fights, but I preferred to drink alone and (surprise) read GLP after the kids were in bed. He could not tolerate it. I'm talking to the kids more now, so that's good and I've lawyered up.

So there it is, for better or worse (and richer or poorer*)

*totally this
 Quoting: faint


Wow typical shit head woman right here folks
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71686963


What a b-tch.


You can tell she is the problem.


I pray for your husband OP,





GLP