Help Needed. Items lost (including pet boa constrictor).

I think we should start at the biggest cave on the earth, which is in Viet Nam. It has to be a hole between the two sides of the Earth.

Nice, fun online utility. Thanks.

For my location, the analysis was: "Antipodes Location: Most likely the ocean. Watch out for sharks."



But ... there is a critical flaw in their geolocation programming algorithms. They assume that the Earth is round; not flat.

I'm ready for an expedition...you lead, I will follow.

I would follow you and Pooch anywhere.

Let me know when and where we start.

The other side of the "Flat Earth" theory is actually the other side of a black hole. First you need to create an artificial black hole, kind of like the one from the Event Horizon.

Wait a sec. Come to think of it ... some neighborhood cats and dogs disappeared too ... shortly after losing track of Penelope. She might still be on this side of the flat Earth.

She's a stealthy hunter that likes to travel at night. She's light brown, patterned with reddish-brown saddles that are more pronounced towards her tail. The last time I saw her, she was 14 feet in length and weighed about 60 pounds.

If you see her, please send me a quick private message with the geolocation. And, if you're interested in helping to search for her, scan local headlines for centrally located missing cats, dogs, ferrets, and pot belly pigs. She had quite a ravenous taste for plump, pot belly pigs.

She will eat birds, rats, and lizards too. But, she really doesn't care for them. Also, she has a particular fondness for Dewars 12.

She can swim, but prefers dry land. And, she loves to hang out in trees. So, check limbs carefully as you trek into the woods.

But ... above all else ... if you do find her, approach with some degree of warranted caution. She's a bit faster than she appears. That's how I lost her in the first place ... and, to my chagrin, that's how I found out how much she loves pot belly pigs. My next door neighbor had one he'd named Willie.

She was usually quite tame (after feeding). But, she's probably very cold and extremely hungry this time of the year.

Also, PM me for the generous reward specifics.

I'd like to hang out with you sometime!

Sorry you lost your two babies.

Now ... that's a frightening deduction. Maybe a few of them are still on this side of the flat Earth.

You'll have to go to Antarctica, to get to the other side to find your items.

I have most recently lost a checkbook, a sweater and one boiled egg.

I'll take the checkbook and sweater, but they can have the boiled egg.

IMO you need to clean up and organize.

There should be a pile of earrings there too with my name on it.

Wait a sec. Come to think of it ... some neighborhood cats and dogs disappeared too ... shortly after losing track of Penelope. She might still be on this side of the flat Earth.

She's a stealthy hunter that likes to travel at night. She's light brown, patterned with reddish-brown saddles that are more pronounced towards her tail. The last time I saw her, she was 14 feet in length and weighed about 60 pounds.

If you see her, please send me a quick private message with the geolocation. And, if you're interested in helping to search for her, scan local headlines for centrally located missing cats, dogs, ferrets, and pot belly pigs. She had quite a ravenous taste for plump, pot belly pigs.

She will eat birds, rats, and lizards too. But, she really doesn't care for them. Also, she has a particular fondness for Dewars 12.

She can swim, but prefers dry land. And, she loves to hang out in trees. So, check limbs carefully as you trek into the woods.

But ... above all else ... if you do find her, approach with some degree of warranted caution. She's a bit faster than she appears. That's how I lost her in the first place ... and, to my chagrin, that's how I found out how much she loves pot belly pigs. My next door neighbor had one he'd named Willie.

She was usually quite tame (after feeding). But, she's probably very cold and extremely hungry this time of the year.

Also, PM me for the generous reward specifics.

Curled up to a water heater?

That's actually awesome. I'll go with you, but Penelope is up to you, and I only want a one-way ticket.

Maybe your snake met the same fate as this one?

I ended up on the ocean too and found a styrofoam cup tangled in some fishing line.

Still looking!

That's actually awesome. I'll go with you, but Penelope is up to you, and I only want a one-way ticket.

This might help. You stick your head in and you can scout around to find your stuff. Good luck.

[link to www.antipodesmap.com]

Nice, fun online utility. Thanks.

For my location, the analysis was: "Antipodes Location: Most likely the ocean. Watch out for sharks."



But ... there is a critical flaw in their geolocation programming algorithms. They assume that the Earth is round; not flat.

I ended up on the ocean too and found a styrofoam cup tangled in some fishing line.

Still looking!

Pull on the cup till the line is tight. Now speak into it. That's the phone to the other side. You were so close!

That means on the other side, the population is growing by 2300 people with no history and no ID, every day.

Now ... that's a frightening deduction. Maybe a few of them are still on this side of the flat Earth.

That's actually awesome. I'll go with you, but Penelope is up to you, and I only want a one-way ticket.

No darlin'! You can't leave with him!
You've got to assist me with my poker game...

I lost my mind. I don't want it back.

I found her [link to www.probreeders.com] hanging around her [link to s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com (secure)] .

Great! So it's yours, eh? Get your stuff outta my dryer!